Face to Face
by Ph0en1xL0ver
Summary: Starts with my take on the dock scenes. (Though I have moved some things around for the sake of story) Jason fought to make it home only to find that five years have passed and nothing is the same. Can true love really overcome all obstacles? Upped rating for occasional language (so far, I'm making this up as I go) JASAM ENDGAME!
1. Chapter 1

My take on the dock scenes...

Sam clutched the edges of her coat tighter together, her eyes fixed on the horizon.

She knew she shouldn't have been there, that no good could possibly come from it, but she couldn't take another minute behind that desk. Despite her boasts of marketing prowess, it had taken less than one whole day of paperwork for her realize how in over her head she truly was. A brief stint on a television show did not a media mogul make, after all. But Aurora was the only investment she and Drew had to their name. Their future security hinged on her ability to run the company, and so she'd simply have to play the part until she figured it out.

The change in wardrobe was a good start. Her pencil dress and heels created the illusion of a savvy business woman, though they did little to combat the chill rising off the water.

'What am I doing?' She tossed her head back with a sigh.

That was the million-dollar question, wasn't it? She'd spent months practically living at that pier, and then years avoiding it for the same exact reason. This was their place; one of many. It was also where he'd been shot by Faison and kicked into the harbor, effectively altering the course of her life forever.

The area was filled with the footsteps of passersby, but there was only one set of tracks her heart beat in rhythm with until they suddenly stopped.

"Sam?"

Her eyes fluttered closed as she drank in the sound of his voice. It was a small indulgence, one of the few she would allow herself. After all, it was a sound some part of her had longed for, even after she'd accepted Drew as his brother.

She glanced over her shoulder to see him standing there, unable to speak.

The silence was unbearable, thick and awkward, and a painful reminder of just how much had changed between them. How much she had changed, she reminds herself yet again, glancing down at her ensemble. Only now she didn't just feel underqualified. She felt like a little girl playing dress up in her mother's closet, or what she imagined that might feel like since she'd never had the chance.

Jason was supposed to be meeting Sonny, but something kept pulling him back to the place where he'd been robbed of everything he held dear. He thought maybe it was his need for answers, but as he stumbled on her he knew exactly why he'd been drawn there.

Five years was a long time, and he may not have fully known her anymore, but he could still sense her pain, feel it like his own.

"Are you okay?"

She tucked her chin to her chest, her reaction hidden from the angle he stood.

His concern churned her stomach.

Suddenly she knew exactly why she'd come to the pier that night. She'd been hoping to see him, to try and make things right.

"No," she shook her head from side to side, "No, Jason I'm not."

She sucked in a deep breath of cold air, hoping to steady herself after the wave of emotions that crashed over her each time she spoke his name.

"I just want to thank you again, for what you did the other night. If you hadn't, there's no telling where they would have taken Drew or if we ever would have seen him again-"

He raised his hand, unable to take another second of her gratitude. Hearing his brother's name on her lips-well, frankly he'd rather another gunshot wound. It hurt less.

"You don't have to keep thanking me. I'm glad I could help you."

It was the first time he hadn't felt like a hindrance in her life since he'd returned, but judging by her crossed arms and narrowed eyes, he'd said something wrong.

"Jason, I completely took advantage of you. I didn't mean to…I was so caught up in what was happening with Drew and doing whatever was necessary to keep him here, that I disregarded any feelings you might have about it. I didn't think about what I was asking of you or what that would cost you. It was selfish, and wrong, and I'm sorry."

He rubbed the side of his jaw, grasping for an appropriate way to comfort her.

"Don't be." He exhaled deeply, knowing the next sentence would hurt him to say. "You were just protecting the person you love."

It was what she had always done, and one of the things he loved most about her. He was happy to know that, whatever changes she'd made in his absence, that trait remained a fundamental part of her being.

Sam ran a hand through her hair, mussing her perfect curls.

"But he wasn't…" the only one there she loved.

Of course, she couldn't say that. It wouldn't be fair to him or to Drew. Instead she just fell spellbound in his tortured gaze. Those beautiful blue eyes were darkened with so much sadness and loss, her own heart ached of it.

"He wasn't you," her shoulders lifted to meet her cheeks.

It was the first time she'd said it so bluntly. After weeks of dancing around the subject and tip toeing around the reality, she finally said it, and it was every bit as awful as she'd feared it would be.

"I do love him Jason..." she knew it wasn't what he wanted to hear but she needed him to know everything. They'd always respected one another enough to be honest. "He's a good man. He's been a good father to Danny and Jake, he's great with Scout."

Jason shifted uncomfortably in place.

"As long as you're happy."

It took everything in him to choke those words out.

She wasn't sure why she had felt the need to tell him that.

"I was happy with you too..."

That was what she needed him to know. "I know this isn't fair to you. You didn't leave, you were taken, and you came back with another man in your place. Everyone believing that he was you...maybe that makes you feel like the time we shared," she gestured to the air between the two of them, "didn't matter as much or that you're easily replaced, but that's not true."

It wasn't until she'd sat in that interrogation room listening to his side of events that she'd dared to imagine how he might interpret the situation and she hated herself for taking so long to do so.

His head tilted slightly, dragging his eyes from her face momentarily.

"I don't blame you for any of this."

The angles of his face grew hard, and his eyes burned with harnessed rage.

"I blame Faison, and whoever else did this to us."

She nodded, knowingly.

"I figured. You never were were the type to sit back and wait for answers. You had to go out and find them yourself."

She hadn't been either, and if she was honest with herself, still wasn't. But her children had come close to losing her too many times already, so unless it was absolutely unavoidable, she would chain herself to the desk in her office and force herself to be good.

There was something in her voice he couldn't quite place, another reminder that they were no longer in sync.

"You're right, I want answers. Somebody did this to us and I want to know why!"

He lowered his voice, determined not to take his frustration out on her, but he couldn't help but notice her lack of fear. He was grateful for that.

"They took my memories and put them in someone else's head. They planted that person in my life, close to the people I love. Why? What does that get them?"

Sam felt her P.I instincts flicker to life.

"Maybe it wasn't about us. Drew escaped from Creighton Clark the same way you did that clinic in Russia. Sure, Helena followed him here, and used him to her advantage, but she didn't plant him in Port Charles."

Jason couldn't help but smirk at her insight. For just a second the last five years melted away and everything was the same.

"Maybe not, but those guys cared enough to follow me all the way from Russia to here. They could have killed you Sam."

The memory of her wet and limp in his arms made him ill. Had she died that night, it would have been because of him.

The anguish on his face spoke volumes. And as much as she'd like to pretend the danger had passed, she'd lived this life long enough to know better. Jason was right. Whoever had orchestrated this whole thing was still out there, and obviously was not pleased their plan had fallen through. There would undoubtedly be consequences.

Her heels clunked against the wood as she stepped closer to Jason, fighting the urge to take his face in her hands as she'd done so many times before.

"I understand why you have you have to do this. Just promise you'll be careful?"

A sick sense of deja vu washed over her as she thought of their final words that night. She had been so sure of his return and it had come five years too late.

He nodded, ignoring the flutter of hope in his chest.

Sam had never actually told him she was happy he was alive, but hearing her make that request was the small sign that he'd been needing, and he couldn't help but smile finally having it.

"Yeah, always."

Her expression darkened.

No matter how many times he would promise otherwise, careful was not a word in Jason's vocabulary. It was something he didn't know how to be.

They stood there in the cold, staring at one another, both groping for words. There was so much left unsaid between them, and most of it was either too little or too much to express.

"I should probably go. It's getting late and Drew will be wondering where I am."

Jason hung his head and sighed.

"Yeah, me too. I was supposed to meet Sonny awhile ago."

She nibbled on the inside corner of her lip. They had agreed it was best to give up PI work, and she wasn't about to go back on that. But this was just as much her mystery as it was Jason's and Drew's. It affected her life too. Didn't that give her a right to know?

"If you have any more questions about the timeline I can-" she ran her fingers through her hair, pulling it all to one side. "I mean I'd be happy to help with that. I might know some things that Sonny doesn't."

Jason lifted his hand to brush her hair from her face, stopping short just before contact. His hand fell.

"I appreciate that."

Though he wasn't sure he'd take her up on it. As much as he relished any excuse to be close to her, the idea of learning exactly how his twin had come to take his place in her heart was less than appealing.

But it did offer the promise of seeing her again soon.

"I'll see you around, Sam."

She smiled and mumbled some noncommittal agreement. Her heart was still racing from the moment Jason had reached out to touch her, and there was a strange mixture of relief and disappointment swirling inside her that he hadn't. This was exactly why she hadn't gone seeking him out, why she couldn't be alone with him. Drew was her husband now. They had a family together, and a life that she genuinely loved. A name didn't change any of that. But as Patrick had been so kind to point out when he'd called off their engagement, Jason's existence in the world, or in that particular case the belief that he'd come back, had instantly changed who she was as well.


	2. Chapter 2

Drew slid his key into the lock and paused outside the door. The penthouse had been had been his home with Sam and their children for the last two years. Whenever he felt lost or overwhelmed this was where he'd found himself. Now each time he crossed the threshold he felt like he was trespassing. From the first time he'd stepped into the apartment he'd felt a sense of connection and ownership, but those feelings were a product of Jason's memories. Nothing more. The penthouse wasn't his home. Apparently, he'd never had one as Andrew Cain; the orphan turned military nomad.

He sighed and turned the key, forcing a smile as he opened the door.

His grin faltered. His brows knit.

Sam was standing in the corner of the living room, plucking ornaments from the tree they'd meticulously decorated weeks before. There was no warm greeting or dazzling smile that he'd come to count on at the end of the day. She didn't seem to notice he was even there as she muttered and mumbled to herself.

"Hey," he slipped his jacket off and tossed it on the back of the couch.

"What's going on here?"

She dug her fingers into her hair, a few strands falling loose from the messy pile they'd been pulled into.

"It didn't look right," she mumbled just loud enough for him to hear before ripping another ornament from the tree. Then another, and another.

He took another step toward her.

"Well, I'm sure we can fix it," he reached out to stroke her back but she pulled away.

Her head jerked frantically from side to side.

"No, no, it's all wrong," she protested, ready to attack the tree once more.

Gently, he grabbed her wrist to stop her from dismantling the tree.

"Sam, stop." But he soon realized his pleas were falling on deaf ears.

Drew stepped up, wrapping his arms around her, but that only seemed to agitate her more. His grip tightened around her as she struggled in his arms. For some reason he thought of a bottle rocket falling to the ground just before launch, as he held her tightly and waited for her to burn through the frantic energy. After several minutes that felt like an eternity, she began to lose steam.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, planting a kiss on his arm.

He returned the gesture by kissing the top of her head.

"I know," he soothed, closing his eyes and resting his chin against her. "I know you are sweetheart."

She buried her face in his arm, ashamed of the scene she'd made.

"I don't know what just happened," he murmured gently.

Sam had been the strong one throughout the entire "two Jason's" ordeal. She was the one holding him up while he stumbled through the days of confusion and loss. Not once had she hesitated when he'd offered to let her go. Not once had she shown any sign of weakness or confliction where his supposed twin was concerned.

As she crumbled in his arms he couldn't help but wonder what had changed.

"Something's wrong, and I want to help," he swallowed the lump in his throat. "But I need you to talk to me."

He twisted her position until they were standing face to face. His azure orbs burned into hers with unspoken questions and unconditional love as he stroked her hair and face, waiting for her to say something, anything.

"I don't want to hurt you." Her voice was weak and timid, not at all like the woman he'd fallen in love with. "But I don't want to lie to you either."

Drew felt every muscle in his being tense. He'd been anticipating this conversation since the day the DNA results came out, and simultaneously dreading it.

"I saw Jason today…down on the docks," she paused, watching for a reaction.

The mention of Jason had always grated his nerves, but even more so since he'd learned his true identity. Each time he heard the name, his fight or flight was triggered, and Drew wasn't about to run from him or Port Charles. Not when he had something worth fighting for.

"What were you doing there?"

Instinctively, he squeezed her hand tighter, as if afraid to let go.

Sam shrugged awkwardly.

"I don't know…," She thought it best not to mention her claustrophobia in the office or her cosmic pull toward Jason.

"I was just clearing my head, and I ran into him."

Drew's head cocked sideways, his tone growing accusatory.

"Did he say something to you? Did he upset you?

She pulled back slightly.

"What? No, of course not. Jason would never."

Sometimes it surprised her, how even with all his memories, he could misjudge his twin so harshly.

"Anyway, I got home and you weren't here. Monica called and asked to take Danny last minute Christmas shopping. Apparently, he wanted to get us something and didn't want us to be there when he did."

The corner of his mouth lifted into a smirk at the thought of his son's generosity, but fell quickly as he once again reminded himself that Danny and Jake weren't his children. They were Jason's.

"What happened here tonight Sam?"

She raised her hand up in the air, then lowered it, unsure how to proceed, to explain.

"I'd just put Scout to bed. I came down the stairs and the tree caught my eye, and I don't know, I just couldn't look at it like that. I-" she closed her eyes, knowing her explanation wasn't coming out right. So, she decided to start again.

Lifting herself from the couch, she took a few steps toward the tree. Her eyes falling to the ornaments she'd stripped from it.

"The night Scout was born…I was so scared we wouldn't make it. I was trying to call for you but you couldn't hear me. I was so cold and she was coming so fast…" she rubbed the sides of her crossed arms, as if the memory itself made her shiver. "I thought we might die under that bridge."

Finally, she turned back to meet his tortured gaze, and she knew he'd had the same fears. For good reason.

"Do you remember what you said to me that night?"

She didn't wait for an answer.

"You called me your phoenix. You said that I always rose above, that I gave you the strength to do the same. You gave me the strength to push through the pain and exhaustion and together we brought her into this world. I think about that whenever I see this."

Sam lifted the phoenix ornament up to be seen, hoping he would understand what she was trying to say.

"But it's also a symbol of my life with Jason. The dragon and the phoenix…double happiness."

His traitorous mind played through the memory of their wedding, and the vows they'd spoken that night. He still felt as though he were the one standing across from her, watching it play out in his head, but he knew the truth, and it haunted him.

He rose from the couch and brushed the silent tears that had trickled down her cheeks.

"The memories we made together, me not being him, doesn't make them any less real. Those things happened Sam, and we got through them together. Everything I said as Jason, I still mean as me."

She nodded, her chin trembling.

"I know, I did too!"

She placed her hands over his chest and leaned her forehead against his.

"It's just…Jason and I gave them to each other…it feels wrong using them for our tree, knowing that.

He cupped the back of her head in his hands, staring into those soft, chocolate eyes that he adored. She'd once told him to look into her eyes and he'd find the truth there. He had that night, but over the last two years he'd found such more.

"It's okay, I get it. I have symbols I struggle with too."

His hands slipped from her head and down her arms, taking her hands in his.

"How would you feel about moving?"

Sam was stunned. Of course, it made sense to move, but for some reason the thought had never occurred to her.

Drew peered down at their connected hands. At the rings on their fingers that now meant nothing because their marriage wasn't legal. Every document he'd ever signed as Jason Morgan was now null and void; their marriage license, their divorce agreement, Scout's birth certificate…

"This place has been good to us, you know, we've had some good times, made some great memories," he sighed, lifting to meet her gaze. "But at the end of the day, it's not ours. It's his…and I just don't think I can live here anymore."

She nodded, slipping instantly into the role of dutiful wife eager to reassure him. A pang of guilt flooding her veins as she took his face in her hands, the same way she'd fought doing with Jason just hours before. Drew hadn't asked for this either. And while one brother was coming home to everything he had lost…well, almost everything, the other felt everything he knew slowly falling away with only her to ground him.

"You don't have to," she promised, pushing down her own feelings about the apartment. "We'll find a place of our own. Somewhere that's just ours."

She ghosted her lips over his, sealing her vow with a kiss. He returned the kiss, whispering his thanks for her understanding.

"How about I go upstairs and get that big box of ornaments? We can redecorate the tree."

Her gaze shifted over to the mess she had made during her meltdown.

"I did kind of mangle it, huh?"

Drew chuckled and held up his thumb and index finger barely a centimeter apart.

"Maybe just a little, but it's nothing we can't handle together."

He planted a quick peck on her lips and headed up the staircase.

Sam glanced around the apartment, a heavy feeling in her chest.

The penthouse had been her first true home, and for that reason it was a part of her. She'd prepared for her daughter Lila in those walls, fallen in love for the first time, and had it returned. It was Danny's first home, and Scout's. Leaving would be hard. It always had been. But she couldn't expect Drew to live in the shadow of those memories for the rest of his life. That wasn't fair to him.

It wasn't fair to Jason either.

The penthouse was his home long before it was hers, and he might want it back. She didn't know where he was staying currently, probably with Sonny and Carly, but eventually he would want his own space back. She, at least, owed him that much.

Drew returned with the ornaments, eager to repair the tree.

She forced a smile and removed some red and silver balls from the box, knowing this would be one of her last memories in the penthouse. Soon she would be nothing more than a visitor at the door, picking up and dropping off Danny when he visited his father.

Her lips curled into a genuine smile. At least Danny would have many more memories there. The penthouse would always be home for him.


	3. Chapter 3

Jason rapped his knuckles against the door and let out a deep breath. It felt strange knocking on the door of the place he'd called home so many years. Even stranger was the knowledge that his wife and son might be just in the other side of it. There had been times he'd feared he'd never make it back to them. Now, there he was, standing like a stranger at his own door, facing a little boy who didn't know him, and Sam had moved on.

The door swung open and for the first time since the reveal he stood face to face with the brother he'd never known he'd had.

Drew frowned, blocking the entrance.

The image of Sam frantically tearing apart their Christmas tree was still fresh in his mind and though she swore she was certain of her choice and that nothing had changed, he couldn't ignore the subtle shift in her demeanor since that night.

"Sam's not here," he grumbled, puffing out his chest instinctively.

Jason sighed, looking down at the box in his hands. He couldn't deny this was not the visit he'd been hoping for.

"I just wanted to bring this by," he extended the box outward, "for Danny."

Drew's eyes narrowed as he begrudgingly took the package.

"Trying to buy the kid?" He accused, rotating the gift in his hands. "No, that's right. I forgot. You're the mobster with a heart of gold."

He took a step forward, closing the space between them.

"You never do anything selfish or manipulative, do you?" He challenged.

Jason shrugged the accusation off.

"I just wanted to do something nice for my son," he reasoned calmly.

Drew snickered with a nod.

"Like you just ran into Sam on the docks the other night? You know she was a mess when she got home, ready to tear the house apart, but you didn't have anything to do with that, did you?"

Jason's relaxed expression fell. He'd sensed her unease at the start of their conversation but he'd seen nothing to indicate the level of distress described.

"I was just passing by. She was there, I was there," his hands waved from one side to another illustrating his story. "I tried to help."

He thought he had...but perhaps he'd only made it worse.

Some part of Drew knew they had both been telling the truth. He had years worth of memories in his head, proving how the universe worked in Jason Morgan's favor. Especially, when it came to Sam. For days he'd played their previous chance encounters through his head, knowing exactly where they'd led in the end, and fearing this time would be no different. But it was easier to blame the man in front of him than to face the stranger in the mirror.

"How about you do us both a favor and stop helping my wife so much? She doesn't want you, he growled, looking at the present in his hand, "and Danny doesn't know you."

That was a particularly low sucker punch and he knew it. Part of him even felt bad for it- the part of him that felt the pain of Jason's memories. But he was trying to rebuild his life with Sam and the kids, and couldn't very well do so with Jason always knocking on their door, searching for a way back in.

Jason took a deep breath and counted to ten. He thought of Sam, of Danny, and how there must be some good in the guy or else they wouldn't love him as they did. He reminded himself that, as far as they knew, his brother had as little choice in the matter as he had, and hadn't asked for the life he'd been handed.

He brushed an eyebrow with his finger.

"I understand Sam made a choice and I respect that." He didn't like it, but love sometimes meant sacrifice, and there was nothing he wouldn't do for the woman he loved.

"And if she doesn't want me in Danny's life, she'll tell me so."

A knot formed in his stomach. Fear wasn't something Jason processed like a "normal" person since his accident. He didn't feel it most of the time, but the thought of losing Danny...that terrified him.

"Just please make sure he gets that," he gestured to the gift and turned away.

'He's a good man,' Sam's voice echoed in his head. 'He's been a good father to Danny.'

Andrew Cain was the man his son called "Dad," and by all accounts the two were happy and close before Jason had arrived. He couldn't imagine Sam denying him rights to their son, not when she'd always wanted him to be a father and had faith in his ability to do so. But what if Danny rejected him the same way Jake had?

Drew had barely closed the door in Jason's face when Sam came bursting through, her hands filled with last minute purchases for the holiday. After another long day at the office stumbling through her role as publisher, she was grateful for any distraction. Even the task of shopping on Christmas Eve held more excitement than the papers waiting on her desk and she knew with complete certainty her efforts in the store wouldn't fail. She couldn't quite say the same of her work at Aurora yet.

She leaned in offering a quick kiss, expecting him to help with the bags. To her surprise, one hand was already full.

"I thought we finished the gifts last night," she whispered so her son upstairs wouldn't hear.

Drew looked down again at the box, rotating it in his hands, feeling lost. There was an emptiness inside eating at him since "patient six" had first appeared, and each time he saw Jason or heard his name it only grew.

"Yeah, we did" his voice was thick with a longing he couldn't express. "Jason dropped this off...for Danny."

He looked up just in time to see that familiar shift behind Sam's eyes. The one that happened every time he'd pleaded with her to tell him she knew he was Jason Morgan. The one that happened the other night when she said she didn't want to lie or cause him pain.

Sam fluffed her hair with the opposite hand, her head angled to the side.

"Jason was here?" Her hand fell and she silently shook her head.

"We must have just missed each other."

She turned back toward the bags on the desk, eager to focus her attention on something, anything else but that mixture of disappointment and relief flooding her veins.

Her sudden interest in the items behind her did not go unnoticed.

"Yeah, guess so. Anyway, I'll just put it in the pile and he can open it with the rest tomorrow."

Her head snapped up, a clear sign that a decision had already been made. She called for Danny and pulled his coat from the closet.

Drew watched helpless, fearing that Danny would return with the same hero worship half the town held in regard to Sonny's favorite henchman.

"Sam, I thought we talked about this already?" He emphasized the we in that sentence. "We decided to wait, remember? And that I would be there when-"

He paused when Danny's footsteps grew closer to the bottom.

"We did," she offered another quick kiss to quiet his concerns, "and you will," she smiled as her son appeared at the bottom of the stairs, "but there's no reason Danny can't come with Mommy to visit an old friend." She spoke the last part with great enthusiasm."

Danny smiled and nodded, happy to be invited, and slipped on his coat while Drew stood brooding by the door.

"I know he's-" he sighed, grasping for a more vague word choice that still got his message across. "I know things are," his jaw clenched" different now, and maybe that means I don't get a vote anymore, but I really don't think this is a good idea."

Sam shot his a weary glance. She loved Drew and understood he was struggling with learning his true identity. But Jason was Danny's father and she had no intention of keeping them apart. If she and Drew were going to have any chance at a future together, he'd have to accept and respect that.

"It's just a quick visit to Uncle Sonny and Aunt Carly's. Like we've done a thousand times before." Her tone was gentle and reassuring as she took the present from his hands.

Danny looked up at them both, sensing the tension but not understanding it.

"Will mommy's friend from the hospital be there too?"

Daddy didn't seem to like Mommy's friend very much, but to Danny he seemed nice, familiar even, though he couldn't place from where.

Sam bent down closer to her son. So much of Jason was already a part of him; his blonde hair, his adventurous spirit, and most of all his kind heart. Drew had been wonderful with Danny and their connection was special, but she couldn't deny the joy she felt knowing Jason and Danny would have the chance to know and love one another. That was one of the few things she had no doubts about.

"He sure will," she ran her hands along the buttons of his coat, securing each one. "Would you like to see him again?"

Danny's gaze shifted from his mom to his dad, as though seeking permission.

"Not if it makes Daddy sad," he said hanging his little head.

Drew squatted down and lifted Danny's chin.

"Hey buddy," he cleared his throat and placed his hand on the young boy's shoulder. "I appreciate you looking out for me and wanting to spare my feelings, but if you wanna go, it's okay."

He and Sam shared a pained glance. Neither wanted Danny to feel the burden of adult complications.

"I'm not gonna be hurt or mad. I promise."

His innocent eyes searched Drew's face for any sign of insincerity and found none. Having his blessing was all Danny needed to smile and take his mother's hand.

Over at Sonny and Carly's Jason was celebrating the holiday with the other half of his family. Being without Sam or his boys was excruciating, but having Michael and his parents welcome him with open arms made being back in Port Charles bearable. The hope that someday he would be able to have a relationship with Jake and Danny kept him going. And though he tried to let go, he knew some part of him was holding onto Sam, praying she would find her way back to him as she had so many times before.

"Is it alright if I make a toast," Sonny asked, pouring three glasses halfway full and handing them out to his wife and best friend.

"Can I get in on that," Michael asked jokingly, earning a stern look from his mother.

Sonny shrugged, "I don't see why not," he filled another glass, though not as full, and extended it to his son.

"Sonny!" She exclaimed, clearly not okay with his decision.

"What? He's a man now, and it's only a quick toast. It's not like I gave him the bottle," he grinned, charming himself back into her good graces.

Michael sighed, wishing he hadn't even asked.

"Don't worry mom, I'm not gonna make a habit out of this. I promise."

She pointed her finger at him, with narrowed eyes.

"You better not," she threatened, but couldn't hold back a smile. Her three favorite men in the entire world were all together, happy and safe under one roof and she felt like the luckiest woman in the world.

"Okay, let's hear this toast," she shouted enthusiastically. Her audience chuckled.

Sonny peered down at the glass in his hands as though the words were written inside.

"I just want to say that I wouldn't be standing here without each of you. You know, good or bad, right or wrong you've always got my back," he looked up to the sentimental gazes staring back at him. "And I'll always have yours. I love you guys."

Jason, Carly, and Michael all nodded their agreement.

"So, here's to the ones we love, the ones we lost," his eyes flickered briefly to a photo of Morgan, "and those who came back."

He lifted his glass high.

"To family!"

The others lifted their glasses, echoing his final words. To family.

Carly collected the glasses and headed back toward the kitchen, needing a moment alone. Her husband's toast was beautiful but it had touched some fairly sensitive nerves as well. She'd slipped away to get some air, clear her head, but the photographs lining the walls whispered to her like ghosts from Christmas past. There were too many absent faces for this to truly be a Merry Christmas.

She was just about to head back inside when there was a knock at the door.

"Who could that be," she pondered aloud reaching for the handle. The breath in her lungs evaporated as she opened the door and found Sam and Danny on the other side.

"Got room for two more," Sam asked hopefully.


	4. Chapter 4

**First, I want to thank everyone who has read, reviewed, faved, and followed this story. I honestly didn't expect that.**

 **To the reviewer who asked if I can make this a Dream story, I'm flattered that you are interested in my work but seeing as Jasam is the pairing who inspired the scene this story spawned from, I really don't think I can do that. Of course, they will be part of the narrative, but I cannot guarantee the ending you desire.**

Sam smiled awkwardly, guiding Danny through the open door of the Corinthos home.

There was a time Carly would have slammed that door in her face, several times actually, but over the last few years they had managed to bury the hatchet and even become friends. But Jason's return had changed that too. No matter how close they'd gotten, there was no one in the world Carly wouldn't sacrifice for the sake of her friendship with him. By choosing to stand by Drew, she'd once again pitted them against one another, and she wasn't sure their bond was strong enough to withstand such differences.

Carly ushered Sam and Danny into the house, all the while her mind reeling. Five years ago, her first thought would have been of Jason, and the joy he would feel learning of their presence. Instead, she froze in front of the woman who, in Jason's absence, had inexplicably become her closest friend.

"Sam," she scratched at the palm of her hand with her thumbnail, "I know things have been strained between us lately since," her gaze flickered to her hands and back up again. "I know you probably won't believe me when I say this, but-"

Tears pooled in the corners of her eyes, refusing to fall.

"I'm really glad you're here."

She rushed forward suddenly, draping her arms around Sam's shoulders, earning an amused chuckle from her unexpected guest.

"Me too," Danny chirped, never one to be left out.

Both women looked down lovingly at the little boy as Carly ruffled his hair.

"Of course, you too!"

Her crystal gaze landed on the box in his hands which she recognized instantly.

"What have you got there?"

Danny shrugged, gently shaking it.

"Don't know, mommy won't let people open gifts until tomorrow," he looked up at Sam as though she'd committed an unforgivable crime.

The brunette bent down, helping with the buttons of his coat.

"Actually Danny, this gift is special. It came from someone who loves you very much, who never got to spend Christmas with you before, so I thought we could come over here so he can see you open it, and you can thank him personally. Are you okay with that?"

His grinned happily.

"I get to open one tonight?!"

Both women laughed at his response as he stared up at them bewildered. Apparently, he'd missed the joke.

Sam hovered by the door, slowly reaching for the buttons of her own coat.

She hadn't thought this through. Her decision had been made on impulse and whatever resolve she'd shown in the face of Drew's concerns was now dwindling.

Sensing her hesitation, Carly acted quickly.

"How about Danny and I head into the kitchen and find him a Christmas cookie?" She looked to his mother for her approval, who nodded numbly.

"We're all in the living room, so just, come in whenever you're ready."

She took Danny's hand and lead him toward the kitchen, leaving Sam alone with her thoughts.

There were so many memories trapped within those walls; first with Jason, and later with Drew. There was no telling which ones were waiting to pounce beyond that doorway. Her eyes fluttered closed, shutting out the phantoms of her younger self, and the voice inside her whispering that she'd once again gone seeking him out, despite the promise she'd made herself.

Danny was Jason's too, and he'd missed too much already. She refused to feel guilty for uniting them.

Jason was in the middle of a conversation with Michael and Sonny when he felt the air in the room change. Suddenly it was thicker and charged with the energy of potential. That shift could only mean one thing. Sam was near.

He turned just in time to see her enter the room, hands clasped at her front, anxiously fidgeting with her fingers.

Sonny smiled, observing the two. "Speaking of family," he said, sitting down his drink and walking over to welcome her with a hug.

"I knew you couldn't stay away," he whispered conspiratorially, releasing her and stepping out of the way.

Jason wanted nothing more than to run to her side, but he kept his distance. She was someone else's wife now, and worse than that, she was afraid of him.

"Sam," he breathed her name with the reverence of a prayer. "What are you, what are you doing here?"

Just as she opened her mouth to speak Danny came bounding in, a cookie in his hand, while Carly trailed behind, holding his present. To everyone's surprise, he walked straight up to Jason, studying him with those expressive blue eyes.

His head cocked to side, examining him.

"You're mommy's friend from the hospital. The one who knew me when I was a baby."

The corner of Jason's mouth rose into a half grin.

"Yeah, that's right. I am."

Danny took a bite of his cookie, puzzling it out in his mind.

"Are you the one who gave me the special gift? The one mommy said I could open?"

Jason looked over at Sam, who offered a watery smile.

She'd felt this before, the first time Danny had run into Drew's arms after the disastrous almost wedding to Elizabeth. But it was different this time. This time it was really Jason standing there with their son.

"Yeah, I brought it over for you this afternoon."

His throat constricted and he could barely get the words out.

Danny nodded, as though coming to some important conclusion.

"Does that mean you love me? Mommy said the person who gave it to me loves me very much."

Again he lifted his gaze to Sam, his eyes brimming with tears, then back to Danny.

"That's right. I've loved you since you were born, and I wanted to be here and see you grow up, but I wasn't able to. Someone took me away from here," he explained.

Danny smiled, looking up into the strangers face. He knew it from somewhere.

"That's what mommy used to say about my daddy, before he came back and we became a family again."

Carly sprung into action, eager to diffuse the tension. She bent down next to Danny and raised the box up to him.

"You ready to open this?

The little boy's eyes lit up, glancing back toward his mom one last time for permission, before taking the box and tearing wildly into the wrapping paper. His mouth hung open as he stared at the contents in the box.

"Cool," he shouted, lifting the battery operated motorcycle up over his head.

Sam shook her head with a smile, thinking back to one of the few happy memories of her pregnancy with Danny. When they'd first been told that she was carrying Jason's child.

He looked up at Jason hopefully.

"Can you show me how to work it?"

She watched from the sidelines as Jason helped extract the vehicle and remote from their packaging, and crawled into the floor to play with their son. Together they took turns working the controls, zooming the bike around the room. Danny wasn't content with the open space of the living room. He preferred the challenge of weaving under feet and around objects.

'Just like his dad,' she thought.

They played for the better part of an hour, all the while Sam fought to remain present.

Wandering into the what if's and should have's was painful and counterproductive. If Jason had come home that night, he and Danny could have spent the last five years together. But then she and Drew never would have met, never fallen in love. Emily Scout would never have been born, or even thought of. Granted, she wouldn't have known any of that. All she would have known was that she and Jason finally had the family they had dreamed of, and perhaps they would have had a daughter of their own. But that child wouldn't be the one sleeping at home in her crib.

It was a vicious cycle with no right answers and no resolutions.

Jason hadn't come home that night. Drew was her husband now, and she had two beautiful children, both of which had loving and doting fathers. That was the reality.

"I know exactly what you're doing," Carly whispered next to her.

Sam crossed her arms with a sigh.

She could appreciate Carly's loyalty to Jason, she just wished there were some left over for her other friends as well.

"And what's that?"

Both women turned back to the sight of father and son together.

"You're trying not to enjoy this too much. Because if you let yourself admit how happy this makes you, then you'll think you betrayed Drew and feel guilty about it."

The brunette's expression gave nothing away, but everything about her seemed to sink inward, confirming the accusation.

"It's not as simple as you make it out to be," she mumbled, sliding her hand up her arm and under her chin.

Carly huffed defiantly.

"I never said it was simple. It's complicated and messy, and no matter who you choose someone is going to end up getting hurt."

Sam scoffed, shaking her head, her hand falling back to her elbow.

"And you would rather that person be Drew," she snapped angrily.

She couldn't blame Sam or Drew for questioning her motives. One had memories of her selfishness implanted in their head, and the other had been there to witness it first-hand. Still, it hurt to hear.

"I would rather he hurt a little now, than a lot more down the road when you realize you can't keep the promises you're making."

Her chocolate orbs flickered with rage.

"I stood in this house and promised to love and honor my husband for the rest of my life, and believe it or not, I'm having no problem doing either one," she spat defensively.

They had stood in that same living room, raising their glasses, toasting to their friendship. The best of friends, Sam had called them, and they had been. Drew may not have been Jason, but he'd been there to pick her up numerous times over the last few years, and that did count for something. It just didn't make him the man he believed he was.

She leaned in further, wishing there were some way to undo the pain she knew would inevitably follow.

"Maybe so, but you also promised him your whole heart. Can you honestly say that vow wasn't broken the second you saw Jason's face?"

Neither felt the need to say another word on the subject. They both knew the truth, even if Sam couldn't speak it.

Instead Sam excused herself to the terrace, hoping the cold would numb her. Though she'd never admit it, Carly was right when she'd accused her of keeping a strangle hold on her emotions.

Jason sensed her anguish from the other room and called Michael over to distract Danny while he went to check on her. Knowing Carly, she'd pushed too hard and made Sam regret coming at all.

He found her standing outside, staring at the stars. A smile crept over her lips as she felt him approach. Without a word, he placed his leather jacket around her shoulders and stood beside her, looking up to admire the night sky.

"I'm sorry about Carly," his gaze shifted back down to the woman standing next to him and the way her eyes shone in the starlight. "She means well."

Sam nodded, pulling his jacket closed at the collar.

"I know…she just doesn't understand."

Jason glanced down at the ground, and then back up at the stars. He knew technically they were nothing more than old light reflecting through the atmosphere. They were marveling at something that was already gone, but he'd never had the heart to tell her that. For her they were a sign of hope and home, and he would not be the one to rob her of that.

Finally, he dared to meet her eyes again, knowing he'd fall under her spell the minute he did.

"Thank you for coming tonight, bringing Danny. I can't even tell you what that means to me."

She lifted her hand as though she were going to touch his face, but then she remembered why she couldn't and moved it to her lips instead.

Maybe he couldn't say it with his words, but the sheen of unshed tears in his eyes told her everything she needed to know.

"I think he recognizes you," angled her head to watch his reaction. "I used to show him your picture. I told him all about you."

Jason stepped closer, forcing his hands into his pockets.

"What'd you tell him?"

Her expression grew wistful.

"You know, just…how you were the greatest man I'd ever known, how much you loved him, how much we all loved each other…"

Her words hung in the air, a heavy silence between them.

"I still do…" He watched her pull her bottom lip between her teeth. "No matter what happens, I always will."

She opened her mouth to speak, but no words would come. Even if they had, she wouldn't have been able to hear them over the sound of her own heart beating. No matter how hard she fought against it, he sparked something within her.

Jason shifted uncomfortably in place.

"You don't have to say it back, I just needed you to know."

She wanted to reach out, to take his pain away, but the truth wouldn't do that. Telling him he had half her heart while his brother held the other would only hurt him more, and she couldn't bring herself to do that to him.

Sam slipped his jacket off her shoulders, needing the cold, needing distance. She handed it back to him, ignoring the jolt than shot through her when their fingers brushed.

Drew was right, she shouldn't have come. She had a husband waiting at home who loved her dearly, and they were celebrating their first Christmas with Scout in the morning. She loved Jason, but she was committed to her marriage, to her family. She didn't know if she could ever truly make peace with the past, but she would keep the vows she'd made.

"Merry Christmas Jason," she said, smiling weakly.

He watched as she opened the door and began gathering their son and his things. And just like that, the spell was broken. He once again remembered that it had been five long years since he'd disappeared from their lives, and that no matter how familiar she might feel in their shared moments, at the end of the day she would return home to his brother because he was the one she loved.


	5. Chapter 5

**Wow! Thanks again so much for all the support. I am loving hearing your thoughts and feelings on the story so far. Yes, Drew said some things he definitely shouldn't have in Chapter Three, but he's not the "bad guy" of this story.**

 **Happy reading! Hope you enjoy!**

After hours of tossing and turning, Sam flung her head back on the pillow with a sigh, knowing there would be no refuge in dreamland. The hours between midnight and sunrise were her most vulnerable. They were too quiet, too still. At first it had come out like white noise, nothing discernible, just everything inside her screaming all at once. But over the last few weeks the static had melted into words and pictures, tainting what had been an otherwise perfectly happy existence with her husband and children.

She turned back toward Drew, who was sleeping soundly next to her. A smile crept over her lips as she watched the subtle rise and fall of his chest.

Her life would be so much simpler if she didn't love him, if some part of her had never fully accepted him, but that wasn't the case. Over the last two years, she had come to love every part of him. Even if Jason's memories were a part of him, they weren't the same person. Nor had she ever expected him to be. She'd forced herself to let go of the past and mourn those memories alone to keep from placing that burden on either of them.

'Because you believed they were gone,' a mutinous inner voice hissed.

She'd refused to compare the man she thought was Jason, to who he had been before. But Drew wasn't Jason. He was his brother. And Jason was still the same man she'd given her heart to all those years ago. A love no other had ever been able to compete with. Lucky hadn't been able to drive him from her heart. Nor could John Mcbain, or any man who had come after. Yes, she had loved Silas and Patrick, neither could replace what she had lost.

The brunette snuggled closer to the sleeping form next to her, resting her head on his shoulder and a hand over his chest. She closed her eyes, focusing on his heartbeat until she felt hers sync in rhythm.

He was so familiar to her now, she could scarcely remember what it had felt like not to be close with him. In the two years they'd spent together he'd become her husband, the father of her children, and her best friend. She truly couldn't imagine her life without him.

She couldn't imagine her life moving forward either. Every time she tried, she got stuck.

Sam brushed her lips gently against his before pulling back the blankets and quietly slipping out of bed.

The sun had just begun peeking through the window when she heard Drew stirring upstairs. Carefully, he made his way down, his eyes still heavy lidded from slumber. He found her alone, standing by the window, nursing a mug in both hands.

"I reached for you and you were gone," he mumbled, fighting back a yawn.

She peered down at the steaming hot chocolate, unable to face him just yet. Her plan had been to sneak back into bed before he could even miss her, but clearly, she'd miscalculated how long that would take.

"Something on your mind?"

The brunette breathed in the scent of chocolate, attempting to steady her nerves, knowing what she was about to say was nothing he wanted to hear.

Finally, she dared to meet his gaze, determination etched into every feature.

"We have to tell him Drew. Today."

His blue eyes widened, all signs of sleep washed away.

"I thought we agreed to wait," he asked incredulously.

Sam nodded, staring back down at the cup in her hand.

"We did. We said we'd wait until after Christmas."

And they had.

Drew pinched the bridge of his nose. His brain was still sluggish, giving his mouth the rare opportunity to bypass its filter.

"Which just ended a few hours ago," he reminded sharply. "You saw how Jake reacted when we told him, why are you in such a hurry to put Danny through that too?"

The truth had done them no favors. Why she was so eager to inflict that burden on a child, he couldn't comprehend.

She stepped forward, sitting her drink down on the nearest surface.

"Because every day I look into his sweet face and I don't tell him, I feel like I'm lying to him."

Her hand flew up to her chest.

"Danny has a father who loves him and wants to be part of his life. He deserves to know that. And every day that we don't tell him, that's another day that Jason has to miss, and that's not fair to either of them."

A familiar flash of heat coursed through his being as Sam stood there in front of him arguing about what Jason deserved, but he forced that down. Starting a fight would only damage the relationship he was doing his best to protect.

He closed the distance between them, taking her into his arms. The corners of his mouth twitched upward as she pulled him closer.

"I know this is hard for you," he kissed the top of her head. "You're feeling guilty cause you accidentally led Danny to believe something that wasn't true, and you're trying to make things right for Jason because you know he's hurting and a relationship with Danny is one of the few things you have left that you feel you can offer him..."

She melted further into his embrace, a telling sign that he had been right in his assumptions.

He stroked her back tenderly, searching for the right words to get through to her.

"I know it's what Jason wants, and what you want, but are you sure it's what's best for Danny?"

Sam went rigid in his arms, pulling away. Her dark brown eyes glinted with anger.

"Are you seriously suggesting that I care more about Jason's feelings than my son's well-being?"

Drew flinched. That was the first time she'd called Danny 'hers,' in the last two years.

"I'm not questioning your priorities Sam," he sighed in exasperation. "I'm just wondering if maybe you haven't thought this all the way through."

He didn't wait for a response, taking another step forward, trying to get back to her. To get through to her.

"Jason's looking for answers and we both know where that's going to lead him. Straight back to Faison."

Sam shook her head defensively.

"Jason would never let that happen!"

Drew peered off to the side, counting to ten.

"What if he can't stop him Sam? The last time they faced off Jason didn't fare so well."

Like a tidal wave it all came rushing in. The joy they felt bringing Danny home that night, the knot in her stomach when that message had played, the desperation and disbelief of searching in the darkness for the man she loved and finding only a phoenix figurine. And the unadulterated rage she'd felt standing opposite of Faison in that interrogation room.

"Only because Faison shot him in the back like a coward! Jason will find that bastard, and he'll kill him. That I'm sure of."

Cesar Faison was a plague over Port Charles, a menace to all mankind. There was no prison he couldn't find his way out of and no chance of rehabilitation. There was only one way to stop a monster like that.

"And then what Sam? Even if he kills Faison and he gets away with it, I'm still going to be here. We're still going to love each other-"

"And Jason is still going to be Danny's father," she shot back defiantly. Her frustration instantly melted into guilt when she saw the hurt on his face.

She reached out, timidly wrapping her hand around his arm.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-," she leaned her head against him. "I know you're struggling right now and I know you're scared that if Danny loves Jason he won't have room his heart for you anymore, but I promise you, he can love you both."

Just like she did...

Drew collapsed on the couch nearby, suddenly drained. He was fighting for them, for their love, their safety, just as he'd always done. Only now it felt as though he were fighting against Sam for those things. And he didn't know what to do with that?

She sat down next to him, taking his hands in her own.

"I shouldn't have snapped at you like that it's just...thinking about Faison, what he did to us, what he put us through..."

He looked down at their joined hands.

"He brought us together Sam," he whispered gravely. "I'm not saying I'm glad Jason was shot. That would be cruel. But- I can't hate Faison for it either. Every good thing in my life, I never would have had were it not for his plan. Whatever it was."

Sam's chocolate orbs welled with tears as she took his face in her hands and pulled him toward her.

"No! No, he doesn't get credit for that. We found each other. We fell in love. That wasn't a trick or part of his plan. That was us, only us."

He wasn't sure he believed that but nodded in agreement anyway.

"I love you Sam," he clutched her knees, tugging her closer. "You and those kids mean everything to me."

Her throat burned with apologies she couldn't speak. There was so much for her to be sorry for, and he knew none of it.

"I know..."

He kissed her forehead gently and pulled back.

"Telling Danny is your decision to make and I'll support whatever you decide," he assured with a halfhearted smile.

As badly as he wanted to protect her and Danny, there were some things she insisted on learning the hard way and the memories in his head told him that Jason was one of those things. He just hoped it wouldn't take Sam too long to open her eyes.

Sam nodded, running a hand through her hair.

"Okay, so I guess I'll call Carly and ask her if she can take Scout a couple of hours. I don't think she'll mind."

His brows knit in confusion.

"She is Scout's godmother, after all."

He huffed in frustration, balancing his elbows on his knees.

"Yeah, I've been meaning to talk to you about that for a while. Obviously, this situation with Jason means we're gonna have to make some changes legally, with Aurora, and Scout's birth certificate, and since we're already doing that, I think we should name a different set of godparents while we're at it."

He could tell by her reaction; the thought had never crossed her mind.

"Can I ask why?"

She understood their decision to support Jason's claim had been painful for him, but she'd thought with time he'd realize their only crime against him had been honoring a lifelong friendship, and that just because he wasn't Jason Morgan, didn't mean he was no one to them.

He pressed his fingertips together, forming a steeple.

"That was Jason's choice, not mine. I thought I was him. I thought Sonny, Carly, and I had stuck by each other through thick and thin, that they were my best friends in the world, other than you."

A humorless chuckle passed his lips.

"When the reality is, Jason is their best friend, he's the one they'd do anything for. If they could, right now, they'd happily hand everything I have over to him, you and Scout included, and they're the people I'm supposed to trust my daughter to?"

Sam leaned in, rubbing his shoulders.

"Okay, so…do you have anyone in mind?"

Drew anxiously tapped his thumbs together.

"I was thinking maybe Curtis."

The brunette couldn't hide her shock at his suggestion.

"You don't like it," he surmised by the wide eyes and slight frown.

Sam brushed her hair over to one side, groping for recovery. It wasn't that she didn't like Curtis or that she didn't trust him exactly.

"We haven't known him long, she countered gently.

He nodded in agreement.

"Maybe not, but I know I trust him with my life. I mean, the guy jumped into the elevator with me while I was standing on an active bomb. That's loyalty."

Sam glanced back at the window, then the staircase. The kids would be awake soon, and she wanted to make arrangements before she lost her nerve. Scout had two living, loving parents and no immediate need for a guardian.

"We don't need to name a godparent right this second, we just have to figure out who's going to watch her for a few hours this morning."

Drew scanned through the list of names he'd considered friends and sadly realized how alone he was.

"I guess I will."

He'd wanted to be there when they broke the news to Danny, to reassure the little boy and support Sam, but that felt impossible under the circumstances.

"I'll take Scout while you all talk just um," his voice faltered at the thought of losing his son. "just tell him that I'm always gonna love him and I'm still here."

Sam wrapped her arms around her husband, allowing him to crumble under the weight of it all. It wasn't just a name he was losing. Every day she could see the light draining from his eyes as another little piece of his soul was chipped away. Danny was Jason's son. She couldn't change that. She didn't want to. But she despised having to take him from Drew, who loved him like his own, to restore Jason to his rightful role in their son's life.

Drew was still upstairs preparing when Jason knocked on the penthouse door. Sam hadn't said why she needed him over the phone. Only to meet her there. The last time she'd made such a vague request it had been on behalf of his brother, but he'd never deny her assistance he could offer. Nor would he turn down the chance to be near her.

Sam held the door open, encouraging him to enter.

"I hope I didn't pull you away from anything too important," she said, closing the door behind him. Her gaze darting toward the empty staircase.

Jason turned to face her, scratching behind his ear.

"I was with Sonny and Spinelli."

She nodded with a knowing expression.

"Strategizing about Faison, I'm sure." She walked slowly past him, careful to keep her distance.

"Sorry if I interrupted a big breakthrough or something."

She tugged at the bottom of her sleeves.

"We don't know much yet."

He shrugged, but Sam could hear the frustration in his voice.

"Faison was here in Port Charles when Drew went MIA so he couldn't have been involved in his disappearance. At least not directly."

He wanted to tell her that nothing was more important than her call, but couldn't find it in himself to do so. He'd already crossed the line once on Christmas Eve, and had been kicking himself ever since. If he made her uncomfortable she might stop calling, and he couldn't take that.

Sam stuck her hands in her back pockets, angling her head to the side.

"So, your only lead so far is a crazy man in hiding?"

There wasn't a doubt in her mind that Spinelli would locate him somehow, or that Jason would put a bullet through his head for all he'd done. But she hated the idea of him chasing after that man, even if she understood why he had to.

"There has to be something we're missing, I just don't know what that is yet."

She nodded, her mind reaching for a memory she couldn't grasp. Something that might help move the case forward.

"I'm sure you'll find it," her gaze darted back to the empty staircase. Their son would be arriving any second. "But that's not why I called. I want to tell Danny who you really are, and I think it's something we should do together."

All thoughts of Faison and the investigation evaporated with that one sentence.

"Are you sure he's ready?"

Anyone who didn't know Jason might assume he had no feelings, but Sam knew better. She could see the hope in his eyes, and the strain of holding it back on his face.

Her brown eyes softened and she had to cross her arms to resist reaching out to him.

"I think some part of him already knows. I think he feels it.," she hooked her hair behind her ear. "I know that sounds silly and impossible but-"

His fingers burned to touch her, to brush away her tears. But that was his brother's job now. Not his. All he could do was reassure her with words.

"No, it doesn't. The moment I saw him I knew. And it wasn't a thought or a decision. I just knew."

She gave a wobbly smile and wiped her cheeks dry.

"So did I..."

Drew stood frozen halfway down the stairs, listening to his wife and his brother stumble through their conversation. He hadn't meant to eavesdrop but hearing Sam fall so easily back into their old pattern left him shaken and unable to move. Whether Jason meant to or not, he was sucking her right back into that world, against her will and better judgement. And for the first time he found himself wondering if their love was strong enough to survive.


	6. Chapter 6 (Reposted for Tech issues)

**It seems there were some technical issues with the last update. My chapter count has gone wonky somehow so I'm reposting. If you haven't read chapter five I encourage you to do so before tackling this one. The conversations in there will definitely be revisited moving forward.**

 **Also there seems to be some confusion about whether or not this is a Jasam story or a Dream story so allow me to be perfectly clear. I would not have chosen Sam and Jason for the romantic pairing brackets were this a Dream story. Drew and Sam's relationship are part of the narrative and there will be multiple points of view expressed from different characters. Some I agree with, some I do not, but my goal is to write this triangle with integrity which means I have to acknowledge both relationships and write the characters true to their established history. That does not mean I'm pulling a bait and switch on endgame.**

 **Hope you're still with me and that you enjoy this one! Thanks again for everything!**

Drew slowly descended the stairs, a diaper bag on his shoulder, and Emily Scout in his arms. His only concern that morning had been getting Danny through the difficult conversation ahead and being there for Sam once the damage was done. After hearing her and Jason together, he now had a pit in his stomach at the thought of leaving them alone together. He trusted Sam, and knew she would never willingly jeopardize their family. But he also knew she was blind when it came to the man standing in front of her. She couldn't see the danger she was already in.

"Hope we're not interrupting," he threw a pointed glance Jason's way before turning to his wife.

She smiled brightly as her daughter reached out, taking her in her arms.

"You wanna say bye to Mama," he cooed, gently handing her off.

Sam beamed at the little girl she and Drew had made together.

Her world was confusing and uncertain. Everything she'd known for the last few years had been proven a lie, but Danny and Scout were the one truth she could always hang onto. Her children were blessings, and both products of love. Nothing could ever change that.

Danny came bounding down the stairs, leaping over the last two.

"Can I come," he asked excitedly.

Drew's lips pressed together as he bent down to the boy's eye level. He wanted to say yes, and were it his decision he would have. But he'd promised to support Sam's choice, and as much as he hated it he would stand by his word.

"Not this time buddy. You're gonna stay here and spend some time with Mommy and her friend."

His gaze lifted to the man who was no friend to him or his family, as far as he was concerned.

He looked into Danny's face, his insides twisting.

"Just remember, no matter what happens today or what you hear, I am always here for you, and you are my son in every way that matters."

He pulled the child into his arms, squeezing him tight, "I love you Danny."

Danny pulled back, smiling while Drew rose and took Scout from Sam's arms. He leaned in to kiss her goodbye but she turned at the last second, his peck landing on her cheek. He forced a smile, unwilling to let the unwelcome bystander see his disappointment, but he couldn't hide the shrinking feeling in his chest from himself.

"We'll be back in a few hours," he assured, taking Scout and her bag, and leaving the three of them alone in the penthouse.

As the door closed, Danny turned toward his mother, his expression troubled.

"Why is Daddy sad?"

Sam stared down at her son, speechless, replaying the scene in her head.

It was obvious Danny had sensed something was wrong, and had taken it upon himself to console Drew. He had smiled, pretending not to see. All the while doing his best to quiet those unspoken fears.

She took his hand, leading him over to the couch, while Jason followed cautiously, seating himself in the chair across the way.

Sam pulled him close to her, not bothering to fake a smile. She realized now Danny saw right through them, and didn't want him working to make this better for her when she was the adult in the situation.

"Do you remember when we talked about curveballs?" How sometimes you get thrown a ball and you think you know where it's going, but then it changes direction and throws you off?

The little boy nodded, confusion in his eyes.

"Okay, well…" she paused, not entirely sure where her speech was going just yet. "Life has curveballs too. You know, sometimes we get thrown something unexpected," her gaze briefly flickered to Jason, "and when that happens it's up to us to figure it out and make the best of it."

He nodded, instinctively, the ghost of a smile on his lips. He'd always known she'd be an amazing mother if given the chance, and his heart swelled with pride knowing he was the one she had chosen to share that honor with.

"Those are harder," Danny admitted, his wheels turning.

"Did Daddy get thrown a curveball?"

That would explain why he was sad.

Sam stroked his golden locks from his face with an apologetic smile.

"Yeah baby, we all did," she said with a sigh.

Her eyes darted back to Jason.

She'd had tried to keep it simple, drawing a line between the night Jason had been shot and the day Drew had come into her life, assigning one to the past and the other to present. She'd tried to pretend their life could go on as it always had, despite Jason's reappearance. But telling Danny made it real.

"Feel free to pitch in at any time here," she teased, taking pleasure in the smirk he attempted to cover with his hand.

He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, his eyes focused on Danny, who was intently watching.

"Before I went away, I lived here in Port Charles. I had a wife, who I loved very much, and we had a son. But he was just a baby, like Scout is now."

Danny cocked his head to the side, thinking.

"When the bad people took you?"

No one had actually told him they were bad people, but that didn't seem like something nice people would do.

Jason nodded, with a frown.

"Yeah, and for a long time my family didn't know what happened to me. They thought I was in heaven."

Jason glanced over to Sam, his eyes pleading for guidance. She knew their son better than he did. He trusted her more. Sensing his hesitance, she took the lead.

"Baby…I was Jason's wife, and you, you're our son. That's how he knew you when you were a baby."

His bright blue eyes filled with panic.

"Does that mean daddy isn't my daddy anymore?"

Sam slid down to face her son, taking both hands in hers.

"Of course, he is! You heard what he said before he left. You're his son. And mine. And Jason's. All three of us love you so much, and all three of us will be here for you, no matter what."

"That's exactly right," Jason assured, "I'm not trying to take anyone's place. I just want the chance to now you a little better. That's all."

Danny sat silently, processing the information he'd just been given while both parents sat on baited breath, waiting for a reaction. Within seconds the fear began to fade as he turned to the man who had just been revealed as his father.

"What do I call you?"

Jason peered back at Sam who shrugged, telling him he was on his own this time.

He cleared his throat, considering his options. As badly as he wanted to be recognized as Danny's father, he knew the little boy wasn't ready for that.

"Uh, you can just call me Jason, for now, if you like. Or, you know, whatever you're comfortable with."

Danny pondered on the possibilities. He'd never been allowed to call his parents by their names before, and he wasn't sure why the rules were different with this new one. He considered "daddy," but he thought that might make his other daddy sad. It could also get confusing.

"Okay," he said, hopping up from the couch, "can I go play now?"

The brunette studied his face, confused by his indifference to their life altering news.

"Are you okay with all this," she asked.

Danny looked up at Jason and smiled.

"Sure! I like Jason, and he loves me. We have fun together."

Jason grinned, unable to mask his excitement.

Danny took Jason upstairs and gave him a tour of his bedroom, pointing out his favorite books, dvd's, and his remote-controlled motorcycle in the corner. They talked and played until the preschooler's energy began to dwindle. He'd been up late the night before celebrating the holiday and needed a nap. Soon it was just Sam and Jason alone while their son drifted off to sleep.

She was standing alone out on the terrace with the door open when he came walking down the stairs.

Jason had never been one for regrets or imagination. Thinking about the past couldn't change it, and wishing for things that had never happened were a waste of time. But being there alone with the two of them, was almost like stepping into the life that had never happened, and for the first time in more years than he cared to remember, he found himself missing something that didn't technically exist.

He came over and stood next to her, while she leaned out over the railing.

"I can't believe he knows now," she murmured, twisting to face him.

"You think he's okay?"

Jason ran a hand along his jawline in the way he often did when choosing his words carefully.

"Yeah, he seems to understand and be okay with it. I think that's mostly because of you. You've done such a great job making him feel safe and loved, he trusts that. He knows you won't let anything take that away from him."

She shrugged, with a sad smile.

"I do my best…but I probably hold on a little a little tighter than I should."

Sam clutched her arms, her thoughts taking her back nearly five years. She still remembered bursting through the doors of General Hospital, fear clenching her stomach as she begged for someone to examine Danny.

The tension was radiating off her in waves, impossible not to notice.

"What is it, Sam," he asked, unable to stop himself from reaching out.

To his surprise, she didn't pull away.

Instead her eyes fluttered closed, and she let the tears fall. One for every day she had longed for that touch and gone without it. One for every second she'd feared for the life of their son.

"Not long after you were shot, Danny started getting these mysterious marks, like a rash or a bruise. And there was this cold that he couldn't shake, at least that's what I thought it was, but um," her chin trembled as the tears continued to fall, "he had cancer, Jason. Leukemia, to be exact."

Her words were like a bullet through his chest. He stood there in shock, gasping for breath and coming up empty. His son, his baby boy, had cancer. Danny's bright eyes and happy grin came into his mind; the picture of health.

"He's okay," she assured quickly, knowing he was feeling exactly what she had that day. Only he didn't have to face it alone. She was there to guide him through it.

Those two words restored the air to his lungs.

"He's in remission. He had a bone marrow transplant and every checkup has been clean since-"

Jason's chest began to burn. A transplant on an infant was serious business, a treatment option that was used as a last resort.

She saw the anguish in his eyes, and it was like looking into a mirror from five years before. He was lost in that dark spiral of "what almost happened," and it was shredding him to pieces.

Instinctively, she reached out, taking his face between her hands. Her dark chocolate eyes dove into his tortured gaze, dragging him back from the depths of that place without a name. She should have known his grief and fear would echo her own.

"I'm so sorry Sam," his voice cracked, "I'm sorry you had to go through that alone."

He felt weak. Sick.

"I should have been here, for you and for Danny…"

She shook her head, stroking his face with the tips of her fingers.

"It wasn't your fault," she whispered tenderly. "Danny's better now. You're going to have the rest of your lives together, and I'm okay. It wasn't easy, but I got through it. We both did."

Jason was paralyzed, a million different emotions running through him all at once. Danny was okay, and standing there, staring into her eyes, it was tempting to believe everything else would be too. If he leaned in even an inch, her mouth would be his for the taking.

"I should go," he mumbled, reaching up to pry her hands away.

Sam blinked as though coming out of a dream.

The moment they touched, she'd lost control. It didn't matter how high she built her walls, Jason already knew his way through them.

She stepped back, putting the necessary distance between them.

"Danny's asleep, we're alone….and no matter how right it feels for me, I know this isn't what you want, and me being here with you like this, it's disrespectful to your relationship, so I should go."

Five seconds ago, she'd wanted his lips against hers more than her next breath, but she didn't want to hurt Drew. She couldn't betray him, no matter what she felt in a moment. Moments passed, and with time her feelings for Jason would change.

"I'm sorry," gripped the railing, to keep from being pulled back to him.

"I know I'm probably not making this any easier. I don't mean to make it worse I just don't know what to do…how to act…how to feel."

Finally, she turned back to him, desperately digging her fingers into her arms. She couldn't slip up like that again.

"But you're right. It's not fair for me to send mixed signals."

Jason nodded his acknowledgement and turned to leave when Sam reached out and touched his arm. Even through the leather of his jacket and fabric of his shirt, his nerves tingled in response.

"I know you Jason. You're either gonna get on your bike and drive for miles trying to clear your head, or you're gonna head straight back to Sonny's hell bent on making Faison pay…just…"

She hesitated, remembering she no longer had the right to ask anything of him. Her heart wasn't supposed to race and skip for him anymore, but it did, and the thought of losing him again was more than she could bear.

"I'll be careful." He said, once again hearing the words she couldn't bring herself to say.

As he let himself out of the penthouse they'd once called home he couldn't help but wonder, could Drew read her mind the way he did? Could he feel her pain as though it were his own? Carly, Spinelli, even Sonny and Michael talked about he and Sam as though they were fated. Jason didn't believe in fate, but there was something between them that defied explanation. And despite his time away, and Sam's love for his brother, that inexplicable pull persisted.

Sam buried her face in her hands, groaning in frustration.

She had thrown herself wholeheartedly into her marriage, her family, and the business. She'd pushed Jason away at every opportunity, determined not to cross that line, and still somehow she had ended up on that terrace, with his face in her hands, and his breath on her lips. Even worse, part of her was still out there, longing for the very act she knew would tear their worlds apart. No matter how many times she told herself otherwise, it wasn't getting any easier.


	7. Chapter 7

**Thank you so much for every fave, follow, read and review! They all mean the world to me. I apologize for the delay. First fanfic wouldn't let me in and then my internet went down. But I pulled it together.**

 **Interesting tidbit: I swear I mapped out the dialogue for this scene before friday aired. Couldn't help but laugh at the irony though. lol**

Jason exited the penthouse with his usual stoicism, leaving his wife and son on the other side of the door, alone, again. His heart thrashed in his chest, fighting to get back to its reason for beating, but of course, that was a losing battle. It was trapped. Same as he was. Sure, he'd made it out the clinic and fought his way back to Port Charles, but he still wasn't home.

He paused in the garage, battling two equally unwavering instincts; his love for Sam, and his belief that love meant respecting choices he didn't necessarily like or agree with. In the end, nobility won out as he drove away from the building, determined not to look back. He lost that battle too.

There had always been something about his motorcycle and an open stretch of road that created the illusion of freedom, and as the wind began to whip at his hair and face, he found himself turning away from town.

 _She really does know me._

He smirked, thinking of his final moments alone with Sam. All amusement faded though, as his he flashed back to the terrace, his brain circling around her confession, like water spiraling down a drain. And this time, she wasn't there to pull him back as he fell.

Danny had leukemia. Had. Past tense. Meaning no amount of dwelling or wishful thinking could alter that fact. Normally, that knowledge would be enough to force his thoughts forward, but that was the trouble with losing time. For Jason, this was forward. What others had had years to process, he was just now learning.

For the first time in his life, that he could remember, he had no choice, but to live in the past, knowing there was nothing he could do to change it. Those five years were gone. The world had kept spinning without him, and in that time lives had been lost, new loves found. Nothing was as he remembered.

He must have driven for hours, until he'd realized there was nowhere he could run. The only destination he had in mind was Faison, and he'd need Spinelli's help to uncover which rock the old man was hiding under.

The office was dark and empty by the time he returned. Night had fallen, and the search would have to wait another day. Instinctively, his hand balled into a fist and slammed against the door frame. He cursed Faison for doing this to him and himself for his moment of weakness. Had he held himself together just a little longer, perhaps they would be one step closer to answers.

Instead he returned to the Corinthos estate, angry at the world, angry with himself, and ready for the day to end.

"Jason?"

Carly shouted, leaping from her position alone on the couch. A smile spread across her face as she caught sight of her best friend. She ran toward him, eager to feel him in her arms and know he was truly there.

Before he had a chance to react she was in his arms, hugging his shoulders. He felt her sigh with relief and knew he was in trouble.

"Where have you been," she demanded crossly. "You know, you scared me half to death!"

Jason wrapped his arms gently around her, shaking his head at her concern.

"I just took a drive. I didn't mean to scare you."

It was the first time he'd taken off since his return, without warning or explanation. Five years ago, no one would have thought to question his return. But they'd spent two years assuming he was dead, and another two fearing he'd become someone else. At the least, they deserved a phone call.

She pulled back, the embers of anger still burning in her eyes.

"Don't you ever do that to me again!"

Carly took a deep breath to steady her nerves and then smiled again.

"I'm just glad you're okay."

Jason nodded, eager to change the subject.

"What are you doing up?"

He didn't know what time it was, but the sun was down and the office empty. It had to be getting late.

"You mean besides waiting for you," she looked back over her shoulder, "babysitting Spinelli's laptop again. He got a call not long after you left and had to go. But he asked me to tell you that all his little hook thingies are floating out in cyberspace, and if Faison so much as sneezes you'll know about it."

He swore under his breath, scrubbing a hand over his face.

"So, what you're telling me is we're nowhere!" he fumed, his fingers curling in toward his palm.

Carly watched with wide eyes as the most calm and rational person she'd ever known began to unravel before her.

"That footage was everywhere. He probably knows I'm alive. He's gotta know I'm looking for him, and he's not just some run of the mill lowlife. He was under our nose for how long? And we had no idea!"

She stepped closer, concern etched in her every feature.

"I haven't seen you this frazzled since Franco crawled into your head."

The words were spoken in a chilled murmur; a thought that she hadn't meant to speak, and instantly regretted doing so. If the epic beatdown he had given the man outside Sam's hospital room left any doubt, the lethal rage simmering just beneath the surface was all the confirmation she needed to know that tumor or no, Jason would despise Franco Baldwin for the rest of his life. And rightfully so, despite what she'd once rationalized.

Her stomach rolled at the memory of defending his actions, and she knew someday she would have to tell her best friend how she'd betrayed him.

His jaw clenched at the mere mention of the man who had terrorized those closest to him.

That monster had somehow been absolved of his crimes and allowed to roam free, but that didn't change what he was or the damage he had done. And it was not lost on Jason that the first thing the supposedly reformed "victim" had done was make a beeline for a woman from his past, and insert himself as the father figure to his eldest son. He'd never dream of forcing himself onto Jake, or telling Elizabeth who she could and could not be with, but at the very least he wanted his friend and his child safe. Something he sincerely doubted they would find with Franco in the picture.

"After what he did to Michael," his voice dropped to a menacing whisper, "what he did to Sam. I didn't think I could hate anyone more than that."

One look at her face told him Carly hadn't imagined that possible either. Franco was a despicable human being who had done nothing but harm the lives he'd touched. Not only had he pointed a predator toward Michael in prison, he had robbed Jason and Sam of what should have been the happiest time in their lives, convincing them both that she could be carrying her rapist's child. And those were only the worst and most personal of his offenses.

He'd thought nothing could be worse than that, and he'd been wrong.

"My son was lying in a hospital bed, sick, probably scared; constantly being poked and prodded by doctor's and having poison pumped through his veins and I wasn't there. I couldn't-I couldn't take care of him. I couldn't hold Sam when she cried…"

His chin dipped and his eyes went cold.

"I'm gonna find that son of a bitch, and I'm not just gonna kill him. I'm gonna make him suffer for what he's done."

Carly was speechless. She'd heard Jason talk of justice, of stopping people who otherwise wouldn't stop, but never had he enjoyed killing. She couldn't imagine him standing over Faison, delighting in his misery, no matter what he'd done. But it wasn't his own pain fueling that fury. It was Sam's and Danny's, and there was nothing he wouldn't do for either of them.

"Sam told you about Danny's cancer."

How they had gone from introducing Jason as his true father to rehashing his medical history Carly couldn't say, and though her first instinct was to be angry with Sam, she quickly refocused her energy on helping him accept the gruesome reality he'd discovered.

"She didn't want to," he defended, knowing Carly had a habit of leaping to the wrong conclusion in defense of his heart. "I was telling her what a great mom she is. She got real quiet, and I knew something was wrong because when I reached for her she didn't pull back. But I could tell she was somewhere far away. Somewhere I couldn't reach her."

Carly's shoulders slumped and she pressed a hand to her heart, remembering all too well being in Sam's shoes when Josslyn was a child. She knew the paralyzing fear and helplessness of watching your baby slowly wither away and the guilt that they were yours to protect. Even when they lived, that feeling never fully went away.

"She kept telling me she was different, and I saw it but I didn't understand. I get it now. When she looked at me like that, I could feel her pain and I couldn't breathe. And that was just a memory, a fraction of what she must have felt."

He closed his eyes, trying to forget, but he couldn't.

"Pain like that, it changes a person. It makes them think about what they're willing to risk, what's important to them. I can't blame her for not wanting to go through that again."

The blonde shook her head defiantly, ignoring his exasperation.

"No. No, Jason you're wrong, and I wouldn't be a good friend to you or Sam, or Drew for that matter, if I let you go on believing this lie."

He pinched the bridge of his nose. Going in circles with Carly always gave him a headache and rarely was resolution of any kind found by doing so.

"Please just stop," he pleaded, knowing it was in vain.

"No, Jason, I'm not gonna stop," she insisted, her hands whooshing back and forth as she spoke.

"I'm not gonna stop because you need to know the truth and if Sam won't say it then I will. She loves you," each word was phonetically punctuated for emphasis. "She loves you so much that losing you destroyed her. I watched her heart shatter when you didn't come home that night. I watched her hold her breath every time the door opened thinking, praying, it would be you on the other side. The same way she held her breath when Danny was sick. And you're right, it was awful. It's something no parent or child should ever have to go through, but Jason it didn't make her love you any less."

The man was renowned for blank expressions and apathetic stares. Some even joked he could take a bullet without flinching, but standing there listening to Carly describe the agony Sam had endured in his absence was more than he could take. He knew an emotional reaction would only encourage her further, but he couldn't keep his eyes from welling with tears as she shouted painful truths he wasn't ready or willing to hear.

Carly saw the tears, and inwardly retched at the pain she was causing him, but she couldn't stop; not until she broke through. He might hate her for it, but there was a good chance someday soon that wouldn't matter. Once he'd learned it was she who spearheaded the campaign for Franco's freedom.

"I know you don't want to hear this, but you have to. You're talking like Sam is this completely different person and I understand how it could look that way to you. But I was here! And I'm telling you Sam isn't as different as you think. And she hasn't let you go. Even when she forced herself back together and she was as happy as she could possibly be without you, some part of her was still searching. That's why Patrick let her go when we first thought Drew was you. He called off the wedding because he knew she never stopped loving you."

Jason's brows lifted toward his hairline, his blue eyes wide.

"Wait, Patrick as in Robin's Patrick?"

 _Patrick and Sam?_

For months all he had heard was how Sam had fallen in love with his brother; the brother she'd assumed was him. This was the first time he'd heard of her deliberately being with another man, and try as he might, he couldn't make the image form. Not only because picturing her with someone else caused him tremendous pain, but because Patrick was Robin's husband, and Robin was his type. Not Sam.

"How-how did that even happen?"

Carly paused, mentally tracing the timeline in her head. In her urgent rambling, she'd forgotten there were things Jason still didn't know about, and Sam's engagement to Patrick Drake was probably one of them.

"Honestly, I think it was you that brought them together, you and Robin. Everyone thought both of you were dead. They were kind of in the same boat together, you know, learning how to live without the love of their lives. He understood her grief because he'd been through it with Robin and then when he lost his little boy, Sam was there for him."

Jason looked down at his steepled hands, tapping his thumbs together.

"It sounds like they were good for each other," he choked out.

She nodded with a sympathetic smile.

"Yeah, they were. They were happy, but Patrick knew there was no competing with your history so when it came out that Drew was you, he let her go so that she wouldn't have to choose…not unlike what you're doing now," she added gingerly.

Jason tilted his head back, letting out a long, slow breath. It hadn't made sense when she'd first mentioned Patrick, but after hearing their relationship in detail, he understood. He knew exactly how easy Sam was to fall in love with, especially if they'd become friends first. Despite the stinging in his chest, there was no anger or jealousy that she and Patrick had found solace in one another. Strangely, he was thankful that she hadn't been alone until Drew's arrival.

"I know you think you're doing the honorable thing by stepping back, and letting her be happy, but she's never gonna be happy sitting behind a desk, because that's not who she is. Just like she can't possibly be happy with Drew, knowing you're alive and here, and not with her. So, what is this great sacrifice for, if neither of you are getting what you want?"

There was just one problem with her theory. Sam was happy with his brother, or at least as much as they could be under the present circumstances. He'd seen her look at Drew the same way she'd once looked at him and he knew what that meant.

"It doesn't matter what you think or what I want," he snapped, having had enough of her well-intentioned false hope for one evening. "Sam loves him. She says she's happy, and I accept that!"

He reached for the phone in his pocket as it started to vibrate while Carly glared impatiently, her expression stating there was still more for her to say.

"It's Sonny," he muttered, accepting the call and putting the phone up to his ear.

There was a shift in Jason's demeanor from agitated to deadly, and she knew in that instant why her husband had called.

"You ready for this," Sonny asked, his concern overshadowed by thoughts of vengeance.

Was he ready?

Faison was their only viable lead so far. To let him slip through their fingers would be foolish, but was he ready to face the man who had taken so much from him? And what if he got the answers he was seeking, what then? This mission was all he had left. Once it was gone, there would be no distraction from the memories and regrets. He'd have to begin the arduous process or sorting through the years he'd lost.

But then he thought of Sam and Danny, and the countless others he'd left behind. There was only one way to be certain they were safe.

"I'm ready." He hesitated briefly. "There's just one thing I've got to do first."

He hung up the phone and shoved it back in his pocket while Carly watched anxiously. Jason and Sonny had no choice but to retaliate, she knew that. It was the nature of the business they'd both chosen, and because she loved them she would support them. Still, her stomach turned to lead when the moment finally came, and she prayed both her friend and husband would return.

Sam stroked her little boy's hair and hummed the last few bars of a lullaby. Even with his nap earlier that day, Danny had crashed within seconds of his head hitting the pillow. With any luck Scout would be equally tuckered out and she and Drew could have some 'Mommy, Daddy' time to reconnect after a long and emotionally draining day.

She'd just made it back down the stairs when there was a knock at that door.

"Who on earth," she mumbled to herself as she reached for the handle.

Impatiently, she swung the door wide open, ready to tear into whoever had the audacity to make such noise after they'd just got the kids to bed. Her breath caught at the sight of Jason standing before her, shyly clasping his hands.

"Can I come in," he asked sheepishly, and she nodded her approval, stepping back as if to offer permission.

He entered the apartment, stepping into the center of the living room, before turning back to face her.

Sam closed the door, inhaling sharply.

Had it truly been only hours since they'd last seen one another? That morning now felt like a different lifetime; a stolen moment from an alternate reality she would never know.

"We got a hit on Faison's whereabouts."

She nodded, knowingly.

"That didn't take long," she said, tousling her thick waves of hair to one side."

Of course, she'd known this would happen eventually. Faison had caused unimaginable suffering to those Jason loved and he would never let that stand.

"I'm on my way to meet Sonny now, but I wanted to…" he huffed nervously. "I was hoping," he began again and faltered.

What right did he have to show up on her doorstep in the middle of the night, asking for anything?

Sam angled her head until she caught his gaze. Her eyes were soft and warm, like melted chocolate, and staring right down into him.

"I know it's late, but I thought maybe I could," he gestured toward the stairs, unable to find the words. He didn't need to though. Sam had already heard the whisperings of his heart.

She smiled reassuringly and something inside him twisted.

It was a lovely smile, but it felt wrong somehow; as though it didn't quite fit her face.

"Yeah, no. Of course," she babbled, suddenly conscious of how awkward she felt.

Drew came down the stairs, bumping shoulders with his brother as he headed up. Unphased, Jason continued the familiar climb, eager to see his son one more time before facing off with Faison.

Meanwhile, Drew's focus was on Sam as she stood alone with her thoughts, unaware of his presence. Whenever they were together she was smiling and laughing, professing her love for him with such sincerity. But she wasn't smiling now, or laughing. She looked lost, pacing back and forth at the bottom of the stairs, with the same far off look he remembered from his days as Jake Doe, when she was still mourning Jason, despite her love for another man.

"What's Jason doing here," he asked, trying to sound more curious than annoyed.

Sam closed her eyes, willing all the winged little demons back into their box where they could torment her no longer.

"He wanted to let us know they're going after Faison tonight," she turned toward him, forcing a smile. "And to see Danny before he goes."

Drew's head tilted sideways, as though he were attempting to crack it, and she knew another argument was brewing between them. Everything felt heavy; her heart, lungs, limbs. They all ached from the strain required to get through the day, especially this day.

"Yeah, I'm sure," he muttered skeptically.

Her dark eyes narrowed in his direction.

"What is _that_ supposed to mean," she growled quietly, careful that no one should hear their disagreement.

He stepped closer, his pulse pounding in his ears.

"It means this is just as much about you as it is Danny. He wants you back, Sam. You honestly believe he keeps popping up just to drop off presents and say hi? He's hoping if he shows up enough, you'll want him too."

She stared at him slack jawed, once again marveling at how he could miss the mark so badly when it came to his own brother, when evidence to the contrary was right there implanted in his brain.

"That's not how Jason operates. He doesn't force his feelings or his will onto anyone. He encourages the people he loves to make their own decisions and he respects whatever they decide."

The image of a much younger and very pregnant Sam flashed through his head. She was sitting on a couch, digging her spoon into a pint of ice cream she was making no attempt to eat. He remembered standing over next to the desk and the flutter in his chest when she'd told him she'd never felt so protected. If he focused on the memory, he could feel the shock and awe that course through him as she'd promised to accept him for exactly who he was; something no other woman in his life had ever been able to do.

He also remembered how badly he'd wanted to kiss her when she'd tumbled into his arms seconds later. Only those memories weren't his. They were Jason's.

Drew lifted his hands in defeat. While he didn't see Sonny's enforcer as a hero or a victim, he couldn't deny the truth of her words. Not when exhibits A through Z in his defense were lodged between his ears.

"You're right," he conceded, reaching out for her. "I'm sorry. I just…I know if it were me, if someone took me away from you and I came back to find you with someone else…"

The anguish in his eyes calmed her anger.

He took her hands in his own, his eyes fixed on the ring that once symbolized their commitment to one another…for forever and beyond.

"I would fight for you Sam, and I wouldn't stop until you were mine again."

She offered a half smile, pulling back as she heard Jason's footsteps on the stairs. As usual her heartbeat hastened with each step until he was standing in front of them both. Once again, she was struck by the miraculous wonder of his existence in the world.

His eyes shifted to his brother, who upon his arrival and wrapped an arm around Sam.

"I'm sure Sam told you we found Faison. You're welcome to join us."

All eyes were on Drew now, an expectant silence between them.

It wasn't a ridiculous suggestion. Both men had been extracted from their own lives and used for another's purpose. Both were strong and brave, with deadly skills at their disposal. However, one had made a vow to wash his hands of the violence crime and investigation brought into their lives.

Drew pulled Sam closer, who was looking up at him on baited breath.

"Something tells me you and Sonny have this under control," he said, smiling down at the brunette on his arm.

Jason nodded, his deep blue eyes studying Sam's expression, or rather her lack of one.

Even after Drew had declined his offer to accompany them, there was no relief on her face, no joy in her eyes. Never, in all their years together, or even their time apart, had he seen them so lifeless. It unnerved him.

The goodbyes were strained at best. Jason excused himself from the penthouse, and Drew shortly headed up the stairs to await her for the night. Sam leaned back against the closed door, tears burning her eyes. She'd been preparing herself for this moment since their conversation on the docks, and knew without the element of surprise Faison would find himself staring down the barrel of Jason's gun. By the end, Jason would be free, and her family safe, and that was precisely what she wanted.

 _Wasn't it?_


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you again for the follows, faves, views and reviews! I love hearing your thoughts and am so glad you're enjoying the chapters!**

It was just after seven when a knock at the door jarred Sam awake. She jerked upward, laying a hand over her forehead as though that would somehow temper the sloshing sensation between her ears.

"Sam?"

Monica's voice emanated from the other side of the door.

Her gaze shifted to the lower left as the night came back to her in pieces.

"Sam? Drew? Is anyone there?"

Her fingertips curled around the edge of the couch cushion as she forced herself into a standing position and groggily made her way toward the penthouse entrance.

"Monica," she croaked, leaning against the frame for support.

 _Was it seven thirty already?_

Her former mother in law smiled back at her with knowing concern.

It didn't take a medical degree to notice her pale complexion or the dark crescent shapes accenting her vacant brown eyes.

"I completely spaced," she winced in shame. "Give me a few minutes and I'll have the kids ready to go."

Doctor Quartermaine stepped over the threshold, her gaze falling on the crinkled blanket at the foot of the sofa.

"Late night," she probed cautiously.

She reached for the bottom of her shirt, scrunching the fabric between her fingers.

"Kind of, yeah. Jason came by not long after we put the kids to bed. He wanted to let us know they found Faison- "

Monica nodded, showing no emotion.

"And knowing my son, he intends to go after him," she concluded aloud.

It was moments like this she couldn't help but mourn the truth. When Drew had come to her as Jason asking about his past, and wanting a connection, she'd thought they'd finally reached a new level in their relationship. When Jason had returned he'd sought out Sam and Sonny. He hadn't even mentioned he was leaving town, but oddly, it was those consistencies in his nature that confirmed what her heart already knew; that Patient Six was the boy she had raised, and Jake Doe was not. But he was Jason's brother and Alan's son, facts which only added to the affection she already felt.

Sam hated being the messenger. Monica may not have been the perfect mother, but she loved her son and had done her best to stand by him. She deserved more than a second-hand announcement.

The brunette offered a sympathetic smile, knowing there was nothing she could say to improve the situation. They both already knew that it was Jason's nature to endanger himself in the pursuit of answers and that his skill set was far superior to that of his enemy. The odds of returning were greatly in his favor.

Silently, she slipped up the stairs and prepared the children for a fun-filled day with their grandma. Once the bags were packed and the kids dressed, the returned at the bottom of the stairs, where Monica was waiting patiently.

She grinned as Danny rubbed his eyes, thinking back to the little boy his father had once been and the similarities between them. She then wondered what Drew had been like at that age, and lamented the fact that her late husband would never know of his long, lost, son.

Sam recognized the expression as one she had worn the first few years of her own son's life. Danny had been her reason for living, but also a constant reminder of the family they would never be. She'd fought so hard to keep him alive, to find her way back to him, and just when they'd been rewarded for their struggle he'd been cruelly ripped away. Patrick had been a wonderful father figure during their time together; loving, supportive, but always aware of Jason's memory and the significance it held.

With Drew it was different. There had been no effort to preserve Jason's memory, because he'd supposedly been there with them. He had embraced both Jake and Danny as his own, and given them everything he had to offer, only to be told it was no longer his place. His reluctance to let go was more than understandable, but what she couldn't wrap her brain around was the constant character assassination of his brother.

She picked up her cell phone, checking the screen for missed messages. There weren't any.

' _No news is good news.'_

She flung her phone back on the sofa with a sigh.

His footsteps were heavy and sluggish as he made his way down the stairs, his lids still laden with slumber. He'd spent half the night laying awake waiting for her before finally passing out in exhaustion. The sheets were cold and her side of the bed empty, warning of another restless night, no doubt inspired by Jason's selfish decision to go digging up the past, as though his friends and family hadn't spent the last few years grieving for his supposed death.

His gaze was penetrating-impossible to ignore. Any other morning her focus would have immediately shifted in his direction. Perhaps it was her lack of sleep, or her latent frustration bubbling to the surface; whatever the cause, she didn't look back to see whether he was smiling or frowning, though she knew that one detail would set the tone for the rest of their day.

The change in routine did not go unnoticed, nor did the way she tensed as he placed his hands on her shoulders, but he quickly dismissed both as a symptom of her growing insomnia.

"Did you sleep at all," he murmured against her hair.

The way she leaned her head in the opposite direction was a little more difficult to ignore.

"I crashed on the couch," she replied numbly. "

Her features scrunching into a mask of confusion.

"I don't even remember laying down."

Drew hung his head, grateful his frustration was hidden from her view.

Ever since the night of their launch party, she'd been struggling. Each time the subject came up, she deflected his concerns, assuring him she was getting more than enough rest. Of course, he knew better. Despite her efforts, the evidence was etched in both her behavior and appearance.

Gently, he massaged her shoulders, urging her body into a more relaxed state. Her muscles gave in almost instantly, while her mind continued to battle the fatigue.

"Baby you haven't had a good night's sleep in almost two months. Why don't you stay home and sleep in this morning?"

Sam tensed, shrugging herself free of his touch. The offer was tempting, but hardly ideal. Aurora Media was still in its infancy, and between the two of them, she held the most experience in that world.

She also knew there would be no rest for her anxious mind until word of Jason's safety had reached her.

"That's not necessary," she insisted, fighting back a yawn as she turned to face him.

His skeptical gaze washed over her with a sigh.

"I don't believe you," he said curtly, folding his arms. "You keep saying that you're fine and it's getting better, but not from where I'm standing. I've woken up alone more times in the last two months than I have in the last few years. Sam, something is obviously wrong, and I think it's time we asked for help."

Her face turned to stone as she defiantly stared him down. He kept saying we but this wasn't their problem. It was hers. She was the one trapped between her past and present, with no safe place to hide.

"I'm going upstairs to take a shower and get ready for work," she snapped defensively, leaning down to grab her phone before disappearing up the staircase.

The hot water helped wake her up, but did little to douse her flare of temper. She knew that he loved her and his criticism was coming from a place of concern. Just as she knew his comments about Jason came from a place of fear, but that didn't make them any easier to swallow. Her lack of sleep was a problem, but that wasn't the stem of her weariness. Being her was. The enormous amount of energy she poured into reassuring Drew, while holding back the flood of emotions regarding Jason's reappearance left nothing for herself at the end of the day.

There was no rest, no peace of mind, only a steady building of pressure, with no opportunity for release.

Downstairs, Drew sat on the couch, wearing his contempt on his sleeve. He wasn't an idiot. He knew exactly what was behind his wife's latest affliction. Jason had gone chasing after the man who had put a bullet in his back, and Sam had stayed up all night waiting for confirmation of his well-being. Not that Sonny's enforcer deserves her concern. He'd made his choice the minute he'd sought out his old boss for help.

He could playback a million different memories of Jason telling Sam how much he loved her, how he never meant to hurt her, how he never wanted to do it again. But there was always another memory of her in tears to follow. No matter how much Jason swore he wouldn't hurt her again, he always did.

He still was.

Another memory flashed through his mind, this time one of his own making. They were alone in his old apartment and Sam was staring at him, her dark brown eyes panic stricken as she yelled at him for nearly breaking her cousin's neck. She hadn't cared in that moment about punishing Nik for his wrongdoing. All that had mattered was them; that they were together and no one and nothing could come between them.

' _Again...'_

Because he had been Jason then, not Andrew Cain. And she couldn't lose him _again_.

That night when they'd made love for the first time and she'd looked into his eyes, had she been giving herself to him or the husband she had lost?

Logically, he knew Jason hadn't asked to be kidnapped for five years, or agreed to give him those memories. But he had chosen to walk out that door that night. He'd chosen to align himself against powerful people who would do harm to his family and friends for the sake of "business."

And when the worst had happened, he hadn't been the one to stop the pain or heal those wounds. He hadn't made the necessary choices to ensure Sam would never hurt like that again.

Jason Morgan didn't deserve the love and loyalty she'd shown him, even after "death." Nor should he have any claim on the relationship the two of them had built together. Yet he did. Without being there, or even knowing, he had managed to taint one of the most precious memories Drew had of his wife.

Sam returned clean, dressed, and eerily calm, given how they had left things earlier. Her black, sleek, pencil dress molded perfectly to her frame and her long dark waves had been curled into flawless barrels surrounding her face. She was the picture of elegance and sophistication.

How he ever could have dismissed her as 'not his type' was beyond him, when the mere sight of her made his heart swell with pride and joy.

He couldn't help but notice she didn't look as happy to see him though.

"What," she asked, feeling his eyes on her.

He scratched at the hair lining his jaw, resting his head in his hand.

"Just thinking how beautiful you are."

The compliment, while sincere, provoked no reaction. He rose from his seat on the couch, determined to smooth things over.

"I'm sorry if I overstepped earlier," he said, stepping closer. His bright azure orbs pleaded for forgiveness. "I didn't mean to make your problem all about me, I mean, I do miss waking up with you, but I'm also worried."

The brunette shrugged, apathetic to the apology. She'd been hearing a lot of them lately.

"I know you are."

He reached out taking her arms in his hands, examining her blank expression.

"So, are we okay? You forgive me?"

Her head tilted slightly, as she forced herself to hold his sympathetic gaze.

"We're fine," she assured, though this time she didn't bother trying to sell it with a winning smile. She didn't have the energy to fake it.

He frowned, pulling her closer. There were few certainties left in the world for him to cling to, and her smile had been one of them.

"Please don't do that, okay? Don't shut down on me. Be whatever you need to be, just don't stop talking to me."

Her dark molten eyes bore into him.

"Whatever I need to be?" She echoed, her tone clearly hostile.

' _At least now he had her attention,_ ' he thought as she ripped her arms free of his grasp.

"Fine, Drew, I'm tired. I'm tired of having the same conversations and the same arguments, over and over again. It's exhausting! And I'm tired of listening to you put down your brother every time he comes around," she spat angrily.

Instinctively, he puffed up, asserting his dominance over the absent party.

"If this is about last night, I already apologized for that."

Her gaze narrowed with a scoff.

"To placate me!" She pressed a hand to her chest. "You apologized because you knew it's what I wanted to hear not because you actually believe you did anything wrong. And we both know it's gonna happen again, because no matter how many times you say you're sorry, it keeps happening."

At first, she'd given him the benefit of the doubt, contributing his misplaced anger to the situation. She'd been certain with time and distance, he would begin to embrace his own identity and accept Jason as his brother, but neither seemed to be happening.

"I understand this is hard for you. It's hard on all of us, Jason included! All he wanted was to see his son! He missed every birthday, every holiday, every milestone, and you had the nerve to suggest he only uses Danny to get to me!"

Her voice trembled with rage.

"If you knew him, at all- "

Drew's neck corded and his nostrils flared; his eyes dark and burning with disgust.

"Oh, but I do know him," he ground, tapping his finger against his temple. "Probably even better than you. I know everything he's ever done and every thought he's ever had about it."

He watched as she took a step back, her brown eyes wide.

"And last night while you were singing his praises do you know what I was thinking about? I was watching you, sitting on the couch, poking at your ice cream with a spoon. Your hair was straighter, pulled back from your face, except your bangs kept falling. I remember thinking about the way they felt against my fingers when I brushed them back, and how excited I was for the three of us to be a family. You, me, and Lila..."

Sam swallowed the lump in her throat, barely breathing.

Hearing those words from Drew's mouth made her feel _violated_ , somehow. It was wrong that he should know that story so intimately, that such a personal moment in their lives had been given away and was no longer their own.

"I was wrong to say he uses Danny, but I wasn't wrong that he's hoping. I know exactly how much you mean to him, and I know no matter how many times he promises to respect your decision, he's still gonna wait for you. He's not giving up...and neither am I."

The anguish on his face and in his voice made it impossible to hold a grudge. She wasn't excusing his behavior, by any means, but in all her self-righteous anger, she'd forgotten they all had their own burdens to bare; Jason's memories were his. They'd discussed how the transfer had happened, and what that meant for them as a couple, but he'd never confided the torment that knowledge provided.

"I didn't realize," she mumbled regretfully.

First, she'd been so wrapped up in her concern for Drew that she'd taken advantage of Jason. Now she'd been too busy defending the latter to notice her husband's suffering.

Drew took her hands in his own, pushing down the memories of all the times Jason had done the same.

 _When had he first done that?_

He'd spent nearly a year as Jake Doe and several more months as Jason Morgan before recovering the counterfeit memories in his head. Surely, sometime throughout their friendship and budding romance he'd reached for her hands before.

 _Had he done the same with Elizabeth?_

He honestly couldn't recall.

His thumb swept over her knuckles, his lips twitching into a half smile.

"You're right, living in Jason's shadow after years of believing I was him, that's hard. But having you by my side makes it easier. I'm sorry if I took that for granted."

She angled her head to the side, offering a watery smile of her own in reply.

This apology was one she knew he meant.

"Listen to me, you are not in Jason's shadow. I promised you a long time ago not to compare the two of you and I'm not gonna go back on that now. You are your own man, Andrew Cain, and together we're going to fill in the blanks and find a way to move forward."

He nodded, his eyes dark and contemplative.

"You mind if I take the day off? Get my head on right?"

Her curls bounced from one shoulder to the other.

"Of course not! You do whatever you need to do. I can hold down the fort for a day."

He reached out taking her face in his hands.

 _Had he done that before? Had Jason?_

Judging by the way her brows creased as he guided her toward his lips, he guessed not often. He bent down, meeting her lips with his own, pouring his gratitude for all she was and all she had done into the kiss.

"What was that for," she pulled back, dazed.

Most of their kisses as of late were quick and sweet. Drew had just kissed her as though he were saying hello and goodbye all at the same time.

He smiled, reaching out to brush her hair back from her face, and dropping his hand as the memory of his brother doing so flashed through his mind.

"Just my way of saying thank you for loving me."

They said their perfunctory farewells one last time and she exited the penthouse, glancing down at her phone once more. There was still no word, and no reason to believe Jason would reach out with a status update. After all, she wasn't part of that mission or that world anymore, but she was Danny's mother. That fact entitled her to a certain amount of concern that was both natural and easy to defend. Not that she owed anyone an explanation or excuse.

She could love Drew and still worry for Jason. One emotion did not negate the other.

An hour later Drew was showered, shaved, and sitting among the friends and family members strewn about the waiting section of Pentonville. Somewhere between reaching for Sam's hands and pulling her in for that kiss, he'd decided not to keep living with Jason's memories in his head. And so, he'd gone to the one person who might shed some light on his options moving forward.

Andre Maddox grinned knowingly as he came up to the window. He plopped down and reached for the phone as Andrew did the same.

"I see curiosity finally got the better of you," he smirked referencing their last conversation.


	9. Chapter 9

**First and foremost, thank you again for your kind words and generous views, follows, and faves!**

 **I had this scene mapped out for a couple weeks now and it was originally supposed to post as part of Chapter Eight. However, that was when Nathan West was killed off, and so out of respect for any Naxie fans who might be reading this I decided to hold back this conversation until after his funeral.**

Back in Port Charles, Sam swiveled back and forth in her chair, squinting at the quarterly sales projections Peter had crafted for their approval. The paperwork wasn't difficult, thanks to her GED classes several years back, just tedious. Between her time at ELQ, the PCPD, and eventually the hospital, she'd become somewhat of a filing expert, and her time on Everyday Heroes gave her a vague understanding of brands and demographics. Unfortunately, none of that business expertise stimulated her curious mind. Charts and statistics could only be so interesting, and the mute setting did nothing to help.

' _A splash of paint couldn't hurt,_ ' she mused, skimming the same sentence for the third time.

It had been exciting at first, an unexpected adventure, diving into the unfamiliar world of media. But the thrill hadn't lasted. As they'd settled into their new position as owners and publishers the days had begun to bleed together as what was once new became routine. Once the challenge was gone monotony set in, providing her traitorous mind ample time to wander.

At present, it was stuck on Drew and the conversation they'd shared that morning.

Violation was an ugly word, and yet fitting for such a vile concept. Even in its separate context it meant to break something that was never meant to be broken.

Sam knew more about that than any person should ever have to know, having been systematically beaten down from childhood into her early years as an adult. She'd been stripped of all confidence and self-worth, manipulated for physical pleasure, beaten, abandoned, neglected and abused. Yet somehow, she managed to come out on the other side with her humanity intact.

When Bill had snapped her arm like a twig until she cried out, that was a violation of her right to safety and wellbeing. Manny had slithered into her mind with his mind games until she was afraid to be alone. But it was Franco who had stolen the most from her. Not only did he spike her beer and lay his hands on her naked body without consent, he deliberately made her believe he'd invaded her body, her womb. For months, she'd walked around believing her rapists child was living inside her, and it was that hateful lie that had robbed she and Jason of any happiness they might have had as a family.

How could the word she associated with such monsters as those men, possibly apply to Drew, who had done nothing but love, honor, and cherish her every day of their life together? The two didn't seem to fit. But when she thought of Jason's memories- their memories, coming out of her husband's mouth…

She couldn't shake the feeling that she'd just lost something very important, even though she couldn't quite name it.

Her chocolate orbs flicked down to the dark screen of her cell phone. Half the day had passed and he still hadn't sent so much as a text.

Gingerly, she lifted the phone, running her fingertip along the home button. Staring back at her was a picture of Danny holding Scout, while Drew leaned in from behind. She smiled to herself at the image and laid the phone back down on the desk, pushing it aside.

' _Fight it,'_ she told herself, inhaling deep and letting it out slow. ' _Just because you have the urge, doesn't mean you have to act on it.'_

Though truth be told, it was getting harder not to.

She was three pages into the report when a ruckus began outside the office. Two muffled voices, one very loud and annoyed, the other so timid it could barely be heard, slipped through the cracks of the door, which seconds later burst open.

"Sam," the blonde yapped impatiently, "would you please tell this minion that you and I are best friends and she can't kick me out of the building, please? She doesn't seem to believe me."

The mousy secretary ignored the dig, barely able to meet her boss's eyes.

"I'm so sorry Mrs. Morgan, she charged right past my desk, by the time I'd gotten up she was already at your door."

The brunette waved her hand, dismissing all concerns of reprimand. That didn't stop her from glaring at the girl who had made her look foolish in front of her employer on the way back to her own station.

"What are you doing here?"

Maxie folded her arms and kinked a brow of disapproval.

"You could at least say hi, you know? I did come all this way just to see you."

She bypassed the chair, plopping down on a corner of the desk.

"You know, since you never came to see me," she shrugged apathetically, though the way her crystal blue eyes kept drifting back to Sam for a reaction gave the impression that she cared a great deal.

"I just thought we were closer than that."

Sam winced, her head tilting slightly from one side to the other, her face scrunched in consideration.

"Okay, maybe I deserve that. I haven't been around much lately, and I'm sorry for that. I've just had a lot going on. You know, Drew was shot not too long ago, and now we're starting this company together, it's been a lot."

The blonde smirked in amusement.

"Really? Cause I would think that pales in comparison to the dead husband falling through the skylight thing."

The brunette stared down at her desk, suddenly very fascinated with the manila folder full of boring statistics.

"Yeah," the word was more breath than voice. "There's that too."

Maxie just shook her head. She'd watched Sam try to deny her feelings for Jason before, and recognized the signs. She was obviously barricading herself with Drew, work, and anything else she could think of. Hence the lack of eye contact and avoidance of the topic.

"Which is exactly why I'm here," she threw her hands up as though presenting herself. "Because I have stuff to tell you and you need someone to vent to. Your mom hates Jason. Carly is the textbook definition of biased, and Spinelli is like, the founder of your fan club. You need me!"

Sam's foot began to bounce against the floor.

"I appreciate your concern," she reached out touching Maxie's arm. "Really, I do, but it's not necessary. Jason and I are fine. Drew and I are fine. Everything is-"

The blonde wore a skeptical expression.

"Let me guess? Fine? You're kidding yourself if you believe that. You just spent the last two years thinking you're happily married to Jason. Now all of a sudden, your husband isn't Jason, and Jason is back from the dead? There's no way that's "Fine."

She made sure to use air quotes for emphasis.

Sam ran her hands down the length of her thighs, briskly rising from her seat.

"It doesn't matter, Maxie. I happen to love my husband."

Why could no one believe that? Did they honestly believe she was so shallow, that a name was all that mattered to her? In those few years together, they'd been to hell and back multiple tines. They'd been battle tested, and endured. Didn't that count for something _?_

Not according to Maxie's reaction.

"So?" She dismissed the argument as though it were nothing.

"I love Nathan with all my heart, but if Jesse or Coop magically showed up on my doorstep tomorrow alive and professing their undying love for me, I would be a hot mess, and you know what? I'd have every right to be."

Sam and Maxie hadn't been friends during either of those tragedies. She'd lost Jesse to a bullet in the head, and Coop to the text message killer. Sam had only ever lost one great love, and that one had nearly destroyed her. The fact that she had found love with another officer of some kind was either the cruelest of ironies or the sweetest of rewards. Only time would tell which one.

"If ever there were a get out of jail free on confusion in your relationship card, this would be it."

She swirled from one side of the corner to the other, boring holes into Sam's back. The brunette spun rapidly, her defenses clearly triggered.

"I'm not confused! I love Drew!"

Both hands pointed inward, toward her heart.

Maxie shrugged again, once again not impressed with her rebuttal.

"I believe you."

Sam's chocolate orbs widened as she nearly staggered backward in shock. That was the one thing no one else had ever bothered to say.

"Wow!" Her incredulous expression softened into gratitude. "Thank you."

Maxie's sapphire eyes twinkled with a knowing mischief.

"Now admit you love Jason too."

Her hands balled into fists as she fought the urge to toss her head back and scream. Why was everyone so hell bent on making her say those words? The only people who really needed to hear them already had in one form or another. Having her constantly repeat them wasn't helping anyone.

"Yes, I love Jason! He was the person who really taught me what it was. He helped me find myself. He gave me Danny. I'm always gonna love him for those things. But that doesn't mean we're meant to be together."

 _How could she put this in terms Maxie could understand?_

"It's like you and Spinelli! You love him. You have a kid with him, but you're not together. You had the chance to be and you chose Nathan instead. This is no different."

This time it was Maxie's turn to look away in shame.

"Except I did go back to Spinelli…for like a minute," she mumbled, glancing back at Sam to gauge her reaction.

She didn't like reliving her mistakes, not that being with Spinelli had been one. But kissing one man while she was in a relationship with another was. Pining for one while being with another was as well. After the reunion, she and Nathan never discussed the things they had said and done during that time, and perhaps that was for the best, as it had all worked out in the end. But there were truths she had never dared speak, to either of them.

"I was happy. When it was just the three of us together as a family, I was really happy."

She almost sounded sorry for it.

"But then I'd go out somewhere in town and I'd run into Nathan, or I'd run into someone who insisted on talking about Nathan, asking questions, giving judgements, telling me how good we were together and what a mistake I'd made."

Her hand subconsciously found its way to her stomach as she spoke.

"Don't get me wrong, I love Nathan, so much! I'm beyond grateful to be his wife and really glad everything worked out how it did…"

Sam sensed a but coming.

"But I also love Spinelli. We were happy together and I think we could have stayed that way had we given ourselves the chance."

That had been a hard truth to face, and even more difficult to accept; that she could love someone and not be with them. It had taken time for her to come to terms with it all, but she had done it. Her life with Nathan was a blessing, and one she refused to waste on regret or might have been's. She had finally learned that love meant nothing without commitment, and Nathan had both from her, wholeheartedly.

"The point is, there was no right or wrong answer, and I'm glad Spinelli and I tried that one last time because if we hadn't, some part of me might still be wondering…but you're not even letting yourself ask the question. Jason is here, at some point you're gonna have to deal with that. Cause I don't think he's going away, and neither is how you feel about him."

The brunette collapsed back into her chair with a sigh, massaging her temples.

She'd done her best to remain in control of the situation, to cut off every emotion that didn't lead to Drew and their family together, but as she'd told Jason that day in the penthouse, theirs was a love that simply was. There was no turning it off or shutting it down. All she could do was push them down into the deepest, darkest corner of her mind. She'd divided herself into pieces, the same way she had her time with both men, but Jason was still a part of her. He was under her skin, flowing through her veins.

Her hands dropped to her lap, with a sad smile.

"You know, I used to think that we were soulmates," she said, hooking a wayward strand of hair behind her ear.

She bit down on her lip, battling the tumult welling up inside her.

Maxie didn't have to respond. The look on her face said more than enough. They both knew many who shared that mentality.

"But if that were true, if we were so..." she laced her fingers together, palms stretched outward, "cosmically bound to one another...how could I not have known?"

Her tortured gaze lifted to meet Maxie's sympathetic glance.

"After everything we meant to each other, everything we shared...I should have known."

Sam Morgan was one of the strongest, most resilient women alive. She was the true embodiment of a warrior spirit, though anyone watching her in that moment might not know it. She more resembled the lamp Maxie had once broken and desperately tried to reassemble. The glue was holding, but just barely.

"If we were so meant to be together, then why does everything seem to come between us," she challenged, a slight hitch in tone. "Maybe this is what was supposed to happen, you know? We couldn't let go on our own, so the universe forced our hand?"

Maxie let out a sound halfway been a scoff and a snort, raising her index finger, prepared to preach.

"The universe didn't shoot Jason in the back and disappear him for five years. Faison did."

If Sam loved Drew, and chose him, that was her choice and Maxie would support it. But she couldn't stand back and watch her friend lie to herself. Sam had never indulged her self-sabotaging tendencies, and she wasn't about to excuse or condone hers.

"You wanna choose Drew, that's fine, but don't give him your heart by default."

Sam's brow furrowed. She honestly hadn't known she'd been thinking that until the words came out of her mouth. Her fingers flew to her lips, deep in contemplation.

Finally, she looked up at the blonde.

"You think that's what I'm doing?"

' _I love Drew,' her brain persisted._

' _I love my husband. I love our family. I love our life.' She replayed the chosen mantras repeatedly._

 _The words were still true, but they no longer rang with the same certainty._

Maxie shifted uncomfortably. Poking holes in Sam's irrational thinking was one thing, but now she was asking for guidance; something she felt under qualified to offer.

' _What was that annoyingly diplomatic response Spinelli often said when he didn't want to give her a straight yes or no?'_

"I think that's something only you can answer."

Sam's eyes narrowed and she wore a smirk of amusement. She wasn't the only one Spinelli had used that line on over the years.

"Do you still feel it since he came back? That, whatever it was, that made you believe you were soulmates?"

She asked, trying to steer them back toward their their habitual roles.

Sam laughed mockingly, not at Maxie, but the absurdity of her question. Her love for Jason may have snuck up on her in the beginning, but once it was there it was constant, an instantaneous state of being.

"Yeah, of course I do. We both do. You know, we tiptoe around one another, careful not to say too much or do anything we shouldn't, but it's hard because part of me wants to, and I can see it in his eyes that he does too."

The longing in his stormy gaze was burned into her mind, and she could still feel his face at the tips of her fingers. He was god knew where, in the middle of a showdown with Faison, but she could still feel him, as though he were standing right next to her, just as she had every day of those first three years until Drew had been falsely identified.

The blonde tucked her head in, examining Sam's face carefully. The slumped posture, skittish eye contact, and the way she'd nibbled her lip on the subject of Jason all screamed guilty conscience.

"But nothing's happened, right?"

The brunette tensed, her mouth halfway open but struggling to find words.

"Wh- no, of course it hasn't," she sputtered. "I would never hurt Drew like that."

' _You almost did...' a voice from that dark corner of her mind hissed._

She shook her head, almost as if denying the accusation, though she knew it to be true.

"Jason wouldn't either. He'd never put me in that position. He respects me, and my relationship."

So much so that he'd walked away when she wasn't strong enough to.

Maxie heaved a sigh, her lips curling into a smile as a small chuckle bubbled up from her throat.

"That's a relief! For a second I thought you'd crossed over into Elizabeth territory."

Sam glared, making it known she didn't appreciate the comparison.

"I'm sorry, that was low, but you know, this is how it starts. You already admitted that some part of you wants to."

Her withering stare remained fixed on the blonde a second more before groaning into her hands.

"I know," she wailed, peeking between her fingers, then sliding them up into her hair. "I know, it's awful! I'm awful! I just- I picture my future with Drew and the kids and it's perfect, you know, it's almost everything I want. Except Jason's standing off to the side, watching us being a family, and it just...feels wrong. And then other times I'm so in the moment with him that I forget we can't just pick up where we left off. I imagine what might have been if..." she couldn't bring herself to say it. "But then I remember Drew and our family and I hate myself for even thinking it."

Maxie was officially in over her head. She'd wanted to help, wanted to be included, but sitting there listening to her friend shame and blame herself for what were natural responses to her extraordinary circumstances made her extremely uncomfortable. This was not how "girl talk" usually went.

"Talk about a rock and a hard place," she muttered.

It wasn't wise or helpful, but it was honest.

Sam glanced up at her, unable to hold back her small laugh of surprise. Lack of eloquence aside, it was an accurate description of her life at the moment.

"I just feel stuck, Maxie. We all are. Drew spends every free minute he has pouring over that useless file the Navy gave him. And Jason's obsessed with this investigation. He's hunting down Faison as we speak.."

Again her eyes darted back toward the lifeless device on her desk.

Her friend followed her gaze, putting the pieces together quickly. Jason was off on some dangerous mission and Sam was left waiting by a phone.

"And you're worried about him," she surmised aloud.

The brunette frowned, curious at her own reaction. Hearing the words out loud, she couldn't deny the truth in them. She was concerned for Jason. But not for his life, the way everyone assumed she would be. Not the way she had been every time Drew went racing to help Sonny. She was confident in his return. It was his state of mind that gave her pause.

"I know he's coming back Maxie, I just don't think Faison is gonna give him what he wants."

She flashed back to winter of 2014, standing in the PCPD interrogation room next to Patrick. She was supposed to be there as support for him, to discuss the loss of his little boy, but as she'd entered that room, unspeakable rage had boiled up inside, consuming her.

"I don't know if you've ever met the guy," she continued," but he's a piece of work. I asked him about Jason and he told me the truth and sold me a lie all in the same breath. Jason wants answers, and Faison is just gonna use that to mess with his head."

As she relived the memory, there was a spark, a glimmer of something that she couldn't quite grasp. Something important that might lead Jason to what he was so desperately seeking.

But she couldn't reach it, and she wasn't supposed to, so she let it go, shoving it into the prison that held all her other unwanted impulses.

"Didn't you say you had something you wanted to tell me earlier," she asked, eager to change the subject.

Maxie's gaze drifted downward, toward the secret she'd been holding back.

"Yeah, I did. Um," she wanted to tell her. She needed to. If anyone would understand her ambivalence, it was Sam. But after delving into her well of personal suffering, this no longer felt like the opportune moment for the announcement.

Her hand drifted to her stomach, without thought, and the brunette's cocoa orbs followed and widened as realization dawned.

"Maxie," she exclaimed joyously with the slightest hint of reprimand.

The blonde smiled, embracing her stomach with both hands.

"Nathan and I are having a baby," she declared happily, but there was something in eyes as she said the words, something that resembled guilt or maybe even fear.

Sam studied her knowingly, waiting for the silence to become too much. Maxie always felt the need to fill silence with words.

"You know the last time I did this, it was terrifying. I was supposed to be Lulu's surrogate but I'd lost the baby and then Spinelli and I got pregnant with Georgie..." she took a deep breath, once again trying to refocus on the pride and glee of it all. "This time there's no damage. No fallout. We just get to be happy about it."

The brunette nodded, understanding perfectly. All three of her pregnancies had come at the most inconvenient times in her life. Not once when the news had first broken had she felt like celebrating, though she loved each child and considered them a blessing no matter the outcome. That acceptance had taken time to develop. It hadn't come overnight.

"And you don't know what to do with happy."

It wasn't a question and the look on her friend's face was all the confirmation she needed.

"I'm really only a part time mom now, what if I'm no good at it?"

She'd asked that same question the night Danny had been placed in her arms for the first time. What if she wasn't perfect? What if she made mistakes? The sudden responsibility to raise and teach another human being was paralyzing. Thankfully, Jason had known exactly what to say to get her to put one foot in front of the other.

"You'll learn," Sam replied with a smile. "You'll get to know each other and trust each other, and the rest just kind of works itself out."

Maxie smiled gratefully and the two women shared a hug. She'd been right, Sam had needed her.

Drew had also been thinking about their conversation that morning. After talking with Maddox, he'd returned to the penthouse- which was now exactly how he thought of it, Jason's penthouse, eager to put his plans into motion. His first call had been to Alexis, who was more than happy to assist with his legal pursuits. His second had been to the best realtor in town. One way or another, he would disentangle himself from Jason Morgan and solidify his future with Sam. If that meant swallowing his pride a little, he was willing to do so.

When Sam entered the apartment later that evening, there was a foreign scent wafting through the air, an overwhelming blend of peanut and chili's tickled her nose.

"What am I smelling," she shouted curiously, slipping off her coat.

He emerged from the kitchen holding two wine glasses. Everything else was already sprawled out in the coffee table.

"Thai food," he grinned, leaning in for a kiss.

Her brows knit as she studied him, perplexed by his choice.

"It's kinda like Chinese, but spicier."

She was still confused. They had several restaurant menus stuffed in the desk drawer and he'd chosen a cuisine they'd never discussed or explored.

"I thought we could try something new," he shrugged, setting the glasses down on the table.

The brunette followed, smoothing out her skirt before taking a seat next to him.

He filled both glasses with a strange hombre beverage of orange and brown which he explained to be Thai iced tea, and loaded each plate with items from the containers. Both devoured the meal within minutes, surprisingly pleased with its flavors.

"I can't believe we've never had that before," she mumbled, wiping some sauce from her lips with a napkin.

Drew smiled, loading up the plates.

"I'm glad you liked it," he said, rising to clean up the mess.

Sam waited on the couch, determined not to let her mind wander to Jason's whereabouts or the mental itch she couldn't scratch. She wasn't Jason's wife and she wasn't a P.I- not anymore. She was married to Andrew Cain, and co-owner of Aurora Media. She had a wonderful life, and it was time she started appreciating it.

He returned from the kitchen, stopping to grab a thick folder from the desk, before coming to sit with her. The file was tossed on the table as he took her hands in his own, thumbing her wedding band. If all went according to plan, Jason would have his ring back soon, and Sam would truly be his.

"I owe you an apology," her mouth opened to speak, but he shook his head, silently refusing whatever she was about to say. "No, I do. Not just for this morning or what I said last night, but the way I've been handling this whole situation."

He glanced from her hand to her eyes, which were brimming with sympathy and love.

"I realized that I haven't been fair, to you,"

His mouth twitched as he struggled to get out the next few words.

"Or my brother.,"

Her eyebrows rose, and he knew exactly why. Never once had he used that word before to address the man he'd only thought of as Sonny's enforcer or Sam's ex-husband.

"I realized that you're right. Just because I have his memories doesn't mean I know him. I know how you see him, how everyone sees him. I know how he sees himself...but I don't understand him."

He could see Sam crying, pleading with him not to abandon her. He could feel Jason's heart echoing those cries, while his brain told him he was doing the right thing, and that when she saw that and found happiness it would all be worth it. Maybe some thought that made him selfless, but Sam had wanted him to fight, had begged him to, and he hadn't. How he could love her so intensely and yet deliberately cause her pain, was beyond Drew's comprehension.

Sam squeezed his hands, urging him to continue.

"But like you said, this is hard on all of us, and I think I found a way to make it a little easier for everyone. Including Jason."

He let go of her hands and reached for the folder on the table. Without a word, it passed from his hands to her.

Curiosity and pride swirled in those dark chocolate orbs as she studied him. Her lips curled into a smile as she opened the folder and her eyes landed on its contents.

She fought to keep it from faltering as he grinned back at her, pleased with her reaction. Showing consideration for Jason's feelings was a major step for him, and she'd do nothing to discourage his progress.

"We already agreed we needed a new place so I started looking. This way we can get our clean slate, and Jason gets his home back. Everybody wins."

 **I know you guys miss Jason and are eager for more Jasam development, as am I, and I assure you he will be returning soon!**

 **And yes, the Maddox convo will be revisited as well ;)**


	10. PSA

Sorry to disappoint for those expecting another chapter today. It's just me, giving you a heads up on the delay. As those who have been with me from the beginning know this started out as a one shot that I was asked to continue. Since I had never actually planned a story the first few chapters were written based on the question "okay, what would happen because this happened," and that got us to where we are. But as I kept writing I realized this all has to be heading somewhere (and I didn't know where that was other than Jasam) so I took some time trying to come up with an explanation for the brother swap and a potential plot moving forward. Just when I'd found it Jasam had their turning point confession (which seriously, how great was that?) and I wasn't sure whether or not to continue given that many can now get their fix from the show itself. After careful consideration, and some advice from a great fellow writer of the fandom, I've decided to move forward and hope you all will continue the journey with me. I will be posting Chapter 10 by the end of the week, if all goes according to plan.


	11. Chapter 10

**Thank you everyone so much for your kind words, follows, faves, and reviews! It's truly appreciated. :)**

Danny's cancer was a fact of life; one that, thankfully, he didn't remember. Sam, on the other hand, spent the last four years struggling with those memories and the fear they inspired. The first weeks and months after his remission had been declared she lived in a state of hyper-vigilance. Only after the first year of being cancer free did she begin to believe her son would live a long, full life, with the worst behind him. As the years passed it became merely a part of their history; something they all knew happened, but never discussed, for fear of conjuring up a parent's worst nightmare.

Which was why it had taken her so long to act on her instincts, considering her recent trip down dark alley in the back of her mind.

Over the last few days he'd become quiet, withdrawn, and lethargic; everything a five-year-old boy shouldn't be. He'd spent most of those days alone in his bedroom, making appearances for meals he pushed around the plate, but barely touched. Whatever was going on with him was more than a trick of her mind, or a result of being off schedule after Christmas, and required her immediate attention. So, after laying Scout down for her nap that morning, she crossed the hall to her son's bedroom, where Danny lay in bed, cuddling a stuffed puppy, his back turned to the door.

' _You're being ridiculous_ ,' she chided herself, tiptoeing to his bed and perching herself next to him. ' _It's December for crying out loud, the middle of cold and flu season_.'

The knot in her stomach loosened and she sent up a silent prayer of gratitude when his forehead was neither warm or clammy. It wasn't a definitive diagnosis, but it was a small comfort.

He rolled over on his back, staring up at her, searching her face for...what she wasn't sure.

"Hey, little man," she cooed, brushing his golden waves back with her fingers. "How're you feeling today?"

Danny shrugged, forcing a smile as he'd watched her do so many times in the last month.

"Okay, I guess."

She nodded in reply, unaware of the insincere curving of her lips that had become second nature.

"You slept through breakfast again," she reminded gently. "Are you hungry?"

He shook his head from one side to the other.

"Not really."

The brunette looked down lovingly at her little boy, her heart in her throat as he studied her. There was so much of Jason in him; his wavy blonde hair, expressive blue eyes, and occasional crooked grin often inspired the image of his father. Not to mention his sense of adventure. But the way he was watching her, his azure orbs darkened with curiosity, perhaps even suspicion, and the slight frown he wore, reminded her of the beginning, when Jason would weigh each word and gesture, sizing her up.

He'd never looked at her like that before.

Sam swallowed the lump in her throat, a different, but equally paralyzing fear taking hold; the fear of somehow failing her child.

"I know there's been a lot of changes this year," she began cautiously. "First you got a baby sister, and then another daddy..."

' _Your real daddy_.'

"Your other daddy got a new name...

The words "other daddy" tasted strange on her tongue, though they lacked the vile flavor of Uncle Drew or your stepdad Drew.

She was rambling.

"What I'm trying to say is that there's no wrong way to feel. It's okay if you're scared or confused, change can be those things."

Danny sat silently, hanging on he every word as she continued.

"What makes it okay is having people you love and trust that you know you can come to and lean on. So, from now on, I'm going to be as honest with you as I possibly can, and if you need to talk or you have questions, I'm right here," she assured, lacing her arm around him as he finally perked.

He sat up in bed, his eyes fixed downward.

"Is daddy coming home," he asked timidly, avoiding her gaze.

A sigh of relief passed her lips, grateful for a question with a simple answer.

"Of course, baby," she said, her brain slipping into default, "he left for the office while you were sleeping, but he'll be home tonight.

The little boy wilted, tensing in her arms.

A sickening wave of guilt and rage swept through her as his true meaning dawned.

"That's not who you meant, is it?"

His eyes swelled with tears, overwhelmed by all he was feeling.

"I don't know why I said that," he choked out shakily, "it just slipped out."

She wrapped both arms around him, blanketing him in his mother's love. He returned her embrace, curling into her instinctively. For a moment, she wished this were enough; that she could hold him forever, shielding him from the pain and confusion of life's complexities.

"You said what was in your heart, and you don't ever need to apologize for that. If that's how you see Jason, and that's what you want to call him, you have every right to do so, and no one is going to deny you that."

He peered up at her with streaked cheeks.

"But he said to call him Jason..."

Sam squeezed her son tighter, shaking her head.

"He said to call him whatever you feel comfortable with, because what's most important to him is that you're happy and that you have what you need. He's not gonna be mad at you for calling him daddy. In fact, I know it'll make him really happy, if that's what you want."

The sides of his mouth lifted into a hopeful grin that faltered too soon.

"What is it," she probed, sensing he was still holding something back.

Danny's expression darkened, his voice barely above a whisper when he spoke.

"My other daddy won't like it," he mumbled, reaching for his stuffed toy again. "He doesn't want Jason to be my daddy."

His mother stared at him in disbelief, struggling to comprehend how exactly they'd wound up having this exact conversation.

"How," she sputtered, quickly altering her response so as not to confirm or deny his suspicions, "what makes you think that?"

The child shrugged, unable to articulate what he felt, and unwilling to incriminate himself. He didn't know why he hadn't believed her when she promised everything was okay. Something inside himself just wouldn't let him. It was something about his mom's smile, and the anger in his other daddy's voice when they thought he wasn't listening. It was the way his daddy Jason looked at him, like he was there but he wasn't.

"I just know...is that why daddy Jason left? Because my other daddy doesn't like him?"

She thought back to his original question, with startling clarity. No wonder he'd been so troubled and reserved since Jason's absence. He believed Drew's animosity had driven his father away. A flash of anger ripped through her; at Drew for giving her son that impression, at Jason for leaving her alone to wonder and worry, at Faison for setting this mess in motion, but she quickly pushed it aside, knowing there would be time for those emotions later. Her priority had to be her son.

Sam reached down, tilting her little boy's face upward, caressing his chin with her thumb.

"I want you to listen to me very carefully, okay?"

He nodded, his head still in her hand.

"I know you were too young to remember this, but your daddy promised a long time ago that he would always be here for you. And the only reason he wasn't able to keep that promise is because he was taken away from us by some very bad people, and he wants to make sure that never happens again. That's why he left, so that when he comes home, he can know we're all safe and that nothing like that will ever happen again."

She watched the doubts in his eyes slowly fade like a broken storm, the reward of crystal blue calm shining through by the end.

"I still miss him," he said, once again seeking his mother's comfort.

Sam rested her head against his, closed her eyes, and for the briefest moment, allowed herself to acknowledge the ache in the pit of her soul.

"I know baby..." _I do too_. "But you know, there are ways to stay close even when you can't be together."

She felt his head snap up, in reply.

"Like how," he asked curiously.

' _Yeah, mom. Like how_ ,' she repeated mockingly, wondering when she'd learn to think before she spoke.

"Well..." What had she done to stay close to Jason during his absence? What hadn't she done, was more like it. She'd relived each memory, clung to every item of significance from their relationship. She'd lit candles in his honor and prayed, begging for any sign of his presence, anything to let her know she wasn't as alone as she felt.

"You could write a letter," she suggested, thankful for the inspiration wherever it had come from. "That way you can say whatever it is you want, and when he gets back, he can read it, and know you were thinking of him."

Danny beamed with approval; his mind already swirling with ideas for the card he would make. He leapt from his bed, running over to his desk with renewed enthusiasm, pulling out his markers, crayons, and pencils. Sam gave him some paper and watched in awe as he began Jason's gift. After a few minutes, he asked her to leave, claiming her staring was distracting. She smirked with amusement, planting a kiss on his head before exiting his bedroom.

On impulse, Sam pulled her phone from her pocket, texting rapidly, knowing she might lose her nerve at any second. She pressed send and locked the screen, refusing to dwell on what she'd just done, or the small comfort it instilled.

She peeked in on Emily one last time, almost disappointed by the sight of her sleeping form. This was another reason she hated playing hooky. Though her work at Aurora could be tedious and confusing, at least it was productive. With both children occupied, and the house clean, there was nothing to do but loaf or sleep, and wait to be needed.

Sam trudged down the stairs, pulling out the desk drawer where the take out menu's were kept. There was a Manila folder laying on top of them, the folder of listings for potential new homes. They ranged from apartments to houses, all three or more bedrooms, all appealing in their own ways. There was just one problem. None of those places felt right to her. Still, it wasn't fair to ask Jason to give up the penthouse, or to ask Drew to live with his ghost. Something had to give, and in this case, that something, or rather someone, was her.

She lifted both items from the drawer, laying the housing options aside to peruse her culinary options. After much consideration, she decided on Kelly's, called in her order and switched folders. At the top of the list was a modern style Farmhouse on the outskirts of Port Charles; four bedrooms, two and a half baths, with stone steps leading up to the large porch. It was elegant, grand; exactly what a savvy media mogul would be expected to own, and judging by its placement in the stack, also her husband's preference.

She was trying to picture them in the living area depicted when a rapid series of knocks at the door broke her concentration. They were quiet, persistent, and before she opened the door she knew exactly who was waiting on the other side.

"Fair Samantha," he exclaimed, accepting her invitation to enter. "I apologize for my unexpected and probably unwelcome salutations," he fired off anxiously.

The brunette frowned, closing the door behind him.

"Spinelli, you know you're always welcome here," she insisted, though as she spoke the words she realized she wasn't quite sure where Drew stood with her oldest and dearest friend.

"I wouldn't have acted so hastily were my actions not prompted by great concern for Stone Cold's well-being."

Sam's hand instinctively flew over her heart.

"Is he okay? What happened?"

She thought of Danny and the gift he was slaving over upstairs. Would Jason ever have the chance to read it? Would he die without ever hearing their son call him daddy? And how would she get their boy through losing him? How could she survive it again?

The tech genius instantly backpedaled.

"Physically, he's fine. They arrived safely in Zurich, only to find themselves seconds too late. Therein lies my concern. Stone Cold was unusually volatile upon this revelation."

Sam closed her eyes, exhaling the tension that had consumed her. Jason was alive, in Zurich... _not calling or returning her texts,_ but he was breathing. That was enough.

"You know how important this is to him. He probably spent the whole flight gearing himself up for a confrontation that never happened. That's gotta be frustrating. But come on, you know Jason. He's like, the most calm collected person on the planet. Just because he lost it for a moment, doesn't mean he's a danger to himself."

The lines of Spin's face set in a mask of determination.

"Under normal circumstances, yes. But Stone Cold was shot and left for dead, a traumatic experience in and of itself. He was kidnapped, drugged, his mind was invaded. Only to return home and find another in his place? I fear his objectivity may be slipping."

Her head bobbled indecisively from one side to the other as she mulled over his argument.

"Okay, I'll admit when Jason works on an investigation that affects someone he cares about on a personal level, he can get a bit...impatient for results. But he always follows the facts, and does the right thing in the end."

Spinelli's expression comforted into one at war with himself.

"With all due respect, there's one crucial variable you've failed to take into consideration."

Her arms folded defensively.

"And what's that?"

The hard angles of his face melted, his voice soft as he declared what, to him, seemed the obvious.

"You. Throughout each of those trying cases, whenever his frustration got the better of him, there was you, giving him hope and encouragement, pulling him back from the brink of tunnel vision. You're not only his wife, and soulmate. You're his partner. He needs you now, more than ever."

He was pleading now.

"I know it's not a fair request, but please, for all our sakes, reach out to him. Offer to talk the case through, allow him to lean on you."

Her hand raked through her unruly curls, pulling it all to one side. She wasn't his wife or his partner-not anymore. Nor was she sure she had any claim to the title of soulmate, but she wasn't about to debate him on that.

"Maybe that's how we used to be, but not anymore. Danny asked me when he was coming back today and I didn't know what to tell him because I didn't even know where Jason was. He has you, Sonny, and Carly to look out for him. He doesn't need me."

That shouldn't have bothered her, but it did. Even more so because she couldn't put her finger on why.

Spinelli's expression grew more desperate.

"That may be what he's telling himself, even what he wants you to believe, but I am convinced were you to go to him this second, those walls would naturally come down and you'd see for yourself just how untrue that is."

Sam stared him down defiantly, unwilling to consider the possibility. Both she and Jason had made choices which removed her from that world and the responsibilities that came with it. And while some part of her might wish otherwise, it was best for everyone the situation remain that way.

"I have two small children Spinelli! I can't just run off to Switzerland right now," she huffed in frustration. He was a father. He, of all people, should understand.

She winced, remembering their take out order.

"But I do have to run a small errand," she grabbed her coat from the closet. "Would you mind watching the kids for a minute? Danny's upstairs coloring and Scout's in the middle of her nap. They won't even know I'm gone."

Spin relented, dropping his hands to his side with a half-hearted smile.

"Of course, I'm happy to assist."

She flashed him a grateful smile, before closing the door behind her. Only then did he sink into the couch, burying his head inside his hands. Jason and Sam were two of his dearest friends. They were more than friends, they were family. Seeing either one in pain was more than he could bear. Watching both of them insist upon their own misery, while he stood by, powerless to intercede? That was far worse.

* * *

"I'm sorry sir," the receptionist said, pushing her glasses back up her nose. "I'm not seeing your name on the list."

Her tone was brisk, final. She'd already been made a fool to one of her bosses, and was determined not to let it happen again.

"Just let him know Jason Morgan is here to see him, please?"

Her brow kinked with curiosity. Obviously, she knew his name from somewhere, and was questioning what business her employer might share with a "coffee importer."

"I'm his brother," he said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

She nodded, slowly, processing the information she'd been given.

"Uh-huh," she gestured toward the chairs in the lobby, deciding it was best not to piss off a well-known hitman recently returned from the dead. "If you'll give me just a moment, I'll see if he's available."

The man grunted his thanks, but showed no interest in moving to the waiting area as she'd hoped he would. Were he anyone else she'd have demanded he relocate, however one did not simply tell a mobster what he was and was not going to do. She valued her life more than any job, and if that meant holding this call beneath his nose, so be it.

Her fingers trembled as she pressed the necessary buttons to access the intercom feature.

"Mr. Cain, there's a Jason Morgan," she was barely able to choke out his name, "here to see you. He doesn't have an appointment, but he's certain you've been expecting him."

 _What if he refused? The saying "kill the messenger," was a cliché for a reason, after all._

Drew released the button and swore under his breath, once again wishing the last two months had never happened. He couldn't remember his childhood, but whatever he'd experienced couldn't have been as complicated or degrading as the curse of having Jason Morgan as a twin.

Unfortunately, DNA didn't lie.

"Send him in."

No amount of ignorance could alter their situation. Only legal action could do that. Ironically, in order to earn their emancipation, first they would have to cooperate with one another. And since the enforcer was waiting just outside his office and Sam was home with the kids, there appeared to be no better time than the present.

He heard footsteps approaching from a distance as he reached for another file on top of the pile and began sifting through its contents.

"Be with you in a sec," he mumbled, not even bothering to look up from the pages in his hand, while Jason stood patiently waiting for his opening.

After double checking the terms of the contract, he scribbled a signature and closed the folder, pointing toward the chair across the desk.

"I prefer to stand," Jason said, with his hands clasped in front.

He tossed the folder to the top of the pile on the other side of the desk, with a shrug.

"Suit yourself," he replied, lifting himself from his own chair.

Jason noticed this too.

"So," he planted his palms on the crowded desk, "I'm assuming you're here to discuss what happened with Faison."

' _Perhaps fawn over my wife some more,'_ he added mentally.

Jason barely flinched, his head tilting maybe a fraction of an inch.

"There's not much to tell. As you know, we managed to track him down to a luxury resort in Switzerland." His jaw twitched slightly. "By the time we arrived, he'd already fled, but I'm confident we can find him again. This isn't over."

Drew fought against his urge to snicker. Faison had managed to evade the WSB, FBI, CIA, and Interpol. His overestimation of his own ability was hardly impressive. Especially since it was Spinelli who had done the actual "finding." Without his technical assistance, both mobsters would undoubtedly still be scratching their heads and coming up empty.

"Well, whenever you do, I'd appreciate a head's up. I've got a few questions of my own for him."

Jason gave a slight nod, masking his agitation at the implications of that request. Not only had he kept the man updated every step of the investigation, he'd been invited to join their pursuit. Any grievance he felt for being left out of the loop was either imaginary or of his own creation. Neither of which was he about to apologize for.

"I'll keep that in mind," he said, his blank expression grating Drew's already raw nerves.

It really wasn't so much that he cared what everyone's favorite hit man thought of him. He doubted the opinion of others had mattered much to him in life. The only time he could remember caring what a stranger thought was Sam.

He smirked with amusement. _'Almost as if he'd known how much he'd grow to love her.'_

No, what irked him was Jason's sheer apathy toward his existence. He and Sam had spent the last few years building a life together, a marriage, a routine. All of which Jason showed no consideration for, dropping by unannounced any time of day or night the urge struck him. He'd made his disinterest in having a brother clear, only acknowledging him for the sake of business or as an obstacle between himself and the life he left behind. Granted, he'd never come out and said these things. He didn't have to. His inherent superiority had done it for him.

"If that's everything," Jason, having spoken his peace, was ready to end their conference.

"It's not," Drew said, picking up another file. His eyes were on the pages within so he missed the disgruntled twitch of his brother's face.

"I know you've been busy with Faison, so I took the liberty of drawing up some papers to rectify our uh, unique situation of two men sharing the same identity."

Jason's shoulders barely lifted.

"I don't sign anything without my attorney," he deadpanned.

Drew nodded, expecting as much.

"Yeah, I figured," he said, offering the folder. "Diane should have a copy heading her way. It's just a standard transfer of assets, based on our previous agreement. The money, the penthouse, everything returns to you. Except Aurora which you said you didn't want."

Jason skimmed the document, and closed the folder. He would still have Diane review it, but from first glance it seemed straight forward, just as Drew had said.

He looked up and nodded his approval to his twin.

"I didn't steal your life Jason, it was forced on me. Now that I know I'm not you, I have no rights to any of it, and no desire to fight for what isn't mine. I'm hoping you'll show me the same courtesy."

His brows rose toward his hairline.

"Meaning what exactly?"

As far as Jason was concerned, his brother had what the other wanted most. He had Sam and the boys. What more could he possibly want?

"There's a second document in there; one renouncing parental rights." Judging by the clench in Jason's jaw, he was either angry or offended. Possibly both.

"Currently, your name is on my daughter's birth certificate," Drew explained.

The tension left Jason's face as he listened. He knew how it felt to have someone else claim your child. Even with consent, it was one of the most painful experiences of his life.

"Of course, I'll sign it," he assured.

The first time he'd picked up his niece, he'd felt an instant connection. In those brief seconds he had not only accepted her, he'd fallen in love. But she wasn't his to have.

"I appreciate that," Drew nodded his thanks.

The two brothers stood on opposite sides of the desk, taking stock of one another.

"Can I ask you something," he suddenly burst, surprising even himself. "What's it like for you, knowing I have your all your memories?

For the first time he could remember, Jason seemed taken aback by their interaction.

"Uh, I don't know. I haven't given it much thought, to be honest."

 _How could he not think about it? Another man was walking around with his most private thoughts and secrets in his head, and he didn't care?_

Drew shook his head, and all but snarled, "I don't understand you."

He looked up at Jason who was staring back at him stoically, fueling his resentment.

"You took Michael from the Quartermaines cause you wanted to protect him, but then you handed him over to a man with more enemies than a communist dictator? You put a target on Sam's back, literally! And when the worst inevitably happened, you didn't have the courage to stand by her. You kept hurting her, pushing her until she broke!"

His fist slammed against the desk.

"While you were playing hero to a lesser woman to make yourself feel better," he spat.

Jason still wasn't reacting, but Drew knew he was pushing his buttons. That was one of the few benefits of sharing memories.

"I can't tell you the shame I felt when Carly announced that I was you. I had all these people telling me how much they loved and missed me, and I didn't feel worthy of any of it after hearing the things I'd done. So I did the only thing I could, I promised to be better and let it go. Sam and I fell in love, we built a life together...and then one day it all came back," he pointed toward his head, his chest burning with the guilt.

"I hated myself when I thought I was you. I spent every day trying to make up for your sins, thinking they were my own. And now that I'm free of that burden, I can put all that hatred where it truly belongs. On you."

Jason nodded, a quiet fury smoldering in his ice blue orbs.

"You have my memories, right?" He challenged coldly. "Then you know I know I make mistakes. You know how much I regret the choices you named, and many more that you didn't. I thought I was doing the right thing. I was wrong. You wanna hate me for that, fine. But don't take it out on Sam!"

Drew opened his mouth to argue but Jason didn't give him the chance.

"I heard you that night. I heard the way you talked to her."

His brother growled at the accusation.

"Sam is my wife, what happens in our marriage is none of your business."

Jason wanted nothing more than to yank him up by the collar of his suit and teach him a lesson, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Sam might never forgive him if he did.

He turned to leave, pausing at the door.

"You know, the worst mistake I ever made was thinking I knew what was best for the people I love. It didn't matter whether I was right or wrong about what they needed. I took away their right to choose. And all that damage you mentioned, was a direct result of that decision."

Before Drew had a chance to respond, Jason was gone.

He collapsed into his chair with a sigh. As much as part of him hated his so-called brother for all he'd done, he also pitied him. No one understood the hardship of being Jason Morgan more than he did, and it was a heavy load to bear.

His gaze flickered to the wedding photograph on the desk. Usually, the image made him smile, but not at present. Instead it cemented his resolve. He reached into the desk drawer and pulled out a small velvet box. Inside was a simple golden band, reflective of their new start. It was humble, nothing like the other rings she had been offered over the years, but it was void of all connection to Jason, and a symbol of their commitment to a life together. Soon they would be starting over in their new home, building their business and raising their family together, without the memory of her ex hanging over their heads.

* * *

Jason stormed out of Aurora Media, desperate for distance from the accusations shared in that office. His brother's words were like a rusty blade. The wound itself caused little harm. It was the danger of infection that could kill. He couldn't deny the truth of Drew's words. Nor could he defend them. He had made the wrong choice and his loved ones had suffered the consequences. All he could do was own his mistakes and learn from them.

He pulled out his cell, searching for Sam's message.

"Wherever you are, whatever you're doing, be safe and come home soon."

His lips curled into a faint smile.

It was only a sentence, but knowing she had thought of him, that she had felt the space between them as acutely as he had, meant everything.

Which meant she was in just as much pain as he was...

He tapped on the blank space bar with his thumb, searching his mind for what to say to her. He'd stayed away out of respect for her decision, but that didn't excuse his obtuse behavior over the last few days.

Jason closed the app and shoved the phone back in his pocket. This was not the type of apology you sent through a text.

He turned toward the penthouse and stalled, trapped between the jagged edges of her gaze, and the emotions crashing over him.


	12. PSA- I will be back SOON!

_Hello my wonderful readers! First and foremost, thank you so much for all your love and support for this story. Being a new writer in a new fandom can be terrifying but you all welcomed me and validated my work and I can't tell you what that means. I know I've gotten a bit behind on my updates and I do apologize for that. Finals kind of snuck up on me, but I am officially finished May 2nd, and then I have all summer to focus on my daughter and my writing. I'm hoping to update before then but you will have an update in two weeks at the absolute latest._

 _(I've already started the next chapter and can assure you it's chocked full of feels)_

 _I ask for your patience, and promise to give you the best of my ability in return._

 _Thanks again for the views, follows, faves, and reviews! I cherish each one!_

 _Until we meet again, happy reading (and viewing) everyone 😊_


	13. Chapter 11

**A/N: Hello again everyone! For those of you who joined my story during finals week, welcome and thank you for the compliments. For everyone else, I appreciate your patience and support and am happy to present you with Chapter Eleven of Face to Face :)**

' _Dammit!' Was the only word her brain could summon as she turned the corner and fell heart first into the ocean deep eyes of her former husband._

" _Sam," he stared back in disbelief, what are you doing here?"_

 _The brunette smirked, despite herself, the answer seeming obvious in hindsight._

 _Looking back, their collision was inevitable. From that first glance at Jake's, there had been something about Jason. He was the rock in her path, the fluid essence seeping through the cracks in her defense, that spark of intrigue that overwhelmed her senses. He was an inescapable part of her being. Time couldn't change that._

 _But time had changed other things..._

" _I could ask you the same question," she quipped, her dark orbs losing their sparkle of humor. "Weren't you supposed to be in Switzerland somewhere?"_

 _His brows knit in curiosity, and she knew exactly why. She could practically hear his question in her own mind._

" _Uh, yeah," he confirmed awkwardly. "We just got back last night."_

 _Sam's apathetic "mmm," and glance sideways, left no question in Jason's mind that he'd made the wrong choice. He should have reached out sooner._

" _I thought you'd be at Aurora when I went to update Drew, but I didn't see you there."_

 _Her dark orbs lowered to his fidgeting hands. He was clearly uncomfortable with the subject of her relationship with his brother, and if she was being honest with herself, she was too. She was also uncomfortable with the fact that Jason was reporting to her husband, cutting her out of the investigation completely. Not that she was in it._

" _That's because I wasn't," she explained with a half shrug. "I decided to stay home with the kids."_

 _She groaned internally. Why was she telling him this? Why was she telling him anything after the way he'd shut her out?_

 _Concern flooded his features._

" _Are they okay?"_

 _Again Sam had to stifle her original response, which was something between a snort and a sneer._

' _You mean besides my daughter being stripped of her loving godparents and my son worried that one of his daddy's is gonna run the other off? Yeah, they're terrific!'_

 _Her life was a mess and her children were suffering for the decisions of others. Nothing about that was okay._

" _Yeah, everything's fine," she insisted, only to have Jason give her the same soul searching gaze of skepticism she'd received from their son earlier that day._

" _I mean, Danny's been a little off this week," she corrected self-consciously. "At first, I thought he might be coming down with something, but then we talked and I realized he wasn't sick. He was just worried about you."_

 _His chin tucked slightly and his brow furrowed._

" _Me? Why would he worry about me?"_

 _This time Sam couldn't hold back her frustration. She groused into her hands, which choked the air once she removed them from her face._

" _Is that a serious question? Jason, you're his dad, of course he's gonna worry when you disappear!"_

 _His expression was no longer curious but stunned. He honestly hadn't expected Danny to notice his absence, given their short time together._

" _But he barely knows me..."_

 _He hadn't meant it as a complaint, more as a statement of fact. The intention didn't matter. Those five words stirred deep and violent emotions in Sam, and if looks could kill, hers would have shot right through him._

" _He's always known you Jason! I made you the hero of every story. I put your picture beside his bed, I told him over and over again that you were his dad and he was your son, and the two of you had a connection that could never be broken. He already loves you, he doesn't want to lose you again."_

' _And neither do I...' that little voice inside her head whispered. She didn't know what that meant for her future, but she knew she wanted him in it._

 _Jason was dumbstruck. He'd always known that Sam loved him and wanted him to be a father, but hearing how far she'd gone to ensure a bond between himself and their child made his chest burn with gratitude...and shame. Not once in his time away had he considered that Danny would ask about him, or that he'd left Sam unable to calm his fears._

" _I'm sorry," he choked out, taking a step forward," I never meant to scare Danny...or you."_

 _She could feel his sincerity and anguish and wanted to accept it, she really did. But she couldn't. Not yet. Something inside her had finally given way, and after weeks of awkward mumbling and days of silence, she had things to say._

" _I know that, Jason!"_

' _God! He was infuriating.'_

 _The brunette took a step closer as well, her hands gesticulating while she spoke._

" _I know how much you love him and that you'd never do anything to hurt him. Whatever your reasons, you thought you were doing the right thing." Her eyes were softer now, but the angles of her face were still hard. "But if you want us not to worry, you have to keep us in the loop. Something that says 'hey, the plane didn't crash, Faison didn't shoot me, I'll call you when I get home,' that's all I'm asking."_

 _The blonde cleared his throat with a nod._

" _I can do that," he said, without missing a beat._

 _He hadn't used the word promise, but they both knew he'd just made one._

 _Sam took a deep breath to steady her nerves. She wasn't sure when, or even how it had happened, but somehow they had closed the gap between them. They were standing dangerously close._

" _Good," her gaze flickered down and back up again._

 _She should go, before something happened that she couldn't take back._

 _Somehow, "I'll see you around" came out "do you want to talk about it," instead._

 _It was the longest conversation they'd had since his return and he was eager to keep it going. Unfortunately, he had no idea what "it" she was referring to._

" _About what?" He asked, the corner of his mouth lifting into half a smile._

 _She shrugged, taking note of his lopsided grin and the fluttering sensation that followed._

" _Whatever happened in Switzerland. Spinelli said you lost your cool for a minute. He's worried about you."_

 _Jason sighed in exasperation. He loved Spin, and appreciated the concern, but it wasn't necessary._

" _Did he tell you why?"_

 _The brunette gave a familiar tilt of the head, as if to say 'come on, you already know the answer to that question.'_

" _When we got there, the place was cleaned out. He was gone. I asked Spin to send footage of him checking out. When I got the tape...I recognized him. He was in disguise, but I saw him. I talked to him. He was right there in front of me, and I let him get away."_

 _He ground out the last sentence with great difficulty._

" _Now Faison's in the wind, Helena's dead, and the only lead I have is more of a loose end."_

 _Sam's stomach rolled._

" _You can't go back to that clinic, Jason."_

 _She knew can't was the wrong word. Telling Jason what he couldn't do usually only strengthened his resolve. At the end of the day, it was his decision to make and she should respect that, but the idea of him returning to the place he'd been held captive for so long made her physically ill._

" _You just said you don't expect anything to come of it, so why bother," she asked, attempting to shift her demand to a request._

 _He had that glint of determination in his eyes. The one that said his mind was made up._

" _Because right now I've got nothing and someone there might know something that can help," he shot back defensively._

 _Sam's expression mirrored his own._

" _This isn't some harmless intel mission. We're talking about the people who kept you so drugged up you couldn't tell what day it was. They followed you all the way across the ocean. The only reason I'm even standing here right now is because of you- because you saved me that night-"_

 _Jason cut her off, unable to hear what might have followed._

" _Exactly Sam! They used you to get to me- because they know how much you mean to me, and they knew exactly where to find you. Had I not gotten there when I did..." he faltered, not willing to speak the words. "I can't let that happen again."_

 _His voice came out in a broken whisper. He might have escaped the clinic, but he still wasn't free, and he wouldn't be until his family was safe Faison and his flunkies._

 _The brunette gently slipped her hand into his, interlocking their fingers._

" _Come on," she said tugging his arm with a smile._

 _Jason wasn't sure where she planned to take him, nor did he care. He trusted Sam and would follow wherever she led._

* * *

 _Spinelli paced the penthouse living room, bouncing a very discontent Emily Scout in his arms. She'd woken up shortly after his friend's departure, and much to both their dismay, Sam had yet to return. Thankfully, young Daniel was there and eager to assist his godfather. The boy had just disappeared up the stairs to retrieve his sister's pacifier, when the lock on the door turned over._

" _Fair Samantha," he called out, sounding a bit more desperate than he'd have liked. "Is that you?"_

' _Please be her,' he begged internally._

 _The brunette stuck her head through the door and flashed him a gorgeous albeit guilty smile._

" _Oh, thank heavens you've returned," he exclaimed as she crossed the room, taking the whimpering infant in her arms. "Don't misunderstand, I love my godson, and sweet little Emily, and was happy to assist. However, I find caring for two children of varying age to be a much different and slightly more difficult task than caring for that of one, and I do believe young Scout has been missing her mother."_

 _The child's dramatic shift in attitude seemed to confirm his hypothesis. With Spinelli, she had wailed like a banshee. In her mother's hands, she was all smiles and quiet giggles._

 _The genius looked up just in time to notice his friend and mentor stepping over the threshold of his former home._

' _Stonecold...and Fair Samantha...together?'_

 _He grinned at the sight. In his opinion, this was exactly how it should always be._

" _This is an unexpected, though not unpleasant, surprise," he said, causing Sam to turn her gaze briefly back toward the man in the doorway._

 _She smiled again, this time a bit more awkwardly._

" _Yeah, I ran into Jason while I was out getting lunch," she explained, deciding it best to skip over the part where she'd gone down to the docks for no apparent reason. The last thing Spin needed was encouragement for his overactive imagination._

" _What a fortuitous turn of events," he said, eyes twinkling. "Some might even say fated."_

 _Jason shot him a glare of disapproval, and that was the last of his romanticized commentary._

" _Alright, well I will leave you to your, what smells like a delectable meal, and the best of company," he said, in a somewhat suggestive tone. "I do apologize for barging in with my concerns earlier."_

" _We are gonna have a talk about that," Jason promised, and Spin nodded, waving one last time before exiting the apartment._

 _The enforcer instantly turned back to Sam._

" _I'm sorry about Spinelli."_

 _It seemed each time anyone pushed Sam toward him he felt the need to apologize._

 _The brunette smiled and shook her head. The gesture tickled Scout's fingers and made her squeal, a sound which earned an affectionate smirk from her uncle._

" _Don't be. You're not responsible for Spinelli's actions." She made a funny face at her daughter, who smiled in response. "Besides, it's kind of sweet that he still believes the universe exists to bring two people together."_

 _She glanced back at him over her shoulder, remembering when she too had believed everything happened for a reason. She'd been trying to find one for the last two months, a reason Jason had been taken from her or returned when she was happily married to another man? Try as she might, she couldn't understand why the universe would deliberately do this to them._

 _Danny came bounding down the stairs, his sister's pacifier in hand. He stopped short when he saw a familiar man standing in the center of the room. Without thought, he leapt over the last two steps, running straight toward his father._

" _You're home," He shouted excitedly, wrapping his arms around Jason's legs._

 _At first, Jason was a statue, so taken aback by the moment that he was unsure how to respond. But as he looked down at his son, an indescribable warmth spread throughout his being. He reached down, patting the boy's back._

" _Yeah, I am," he said, beaming with fatherly pride, while Sam watched from the sidelines, her heart near to bursting._

 _Suddenly, the five year old let go, seemingly anxious._

" _I forgot something upstairs," he explained, looking over toward his mom, who smiled knowingly. "I'll be right back."_

 _Sam stood in the middle of the living room, Emily Scout squirming in her arms as silent tears tracked her cheeks. For more years than she dared to remember, she'd wanted a child with this man, and for most of that time had believed it an impossibility. Then just when the dream became reality, it had been ripped away. That was until Drew had surfaced, and in his own way given it back to her. But standing there watching Jason with their son she felt a new truth forming- one too deep and powerful to question. This time was different, because it was real._

 _She didn't have long to dwell on this epiphany or it's meaning. Danny was back down the stairs within seconds, card in hand._

" _Why don't Scout and I give you two a minute?"_

 _Her offer was met with a conspiratorial grin as she took the baby and headed up the stairs._

 _The nursery was a sort of haven for her, and Danny's need for a one on one had provided her with the perfect excuse to retreat. So much had happened that day already and she needed to collect her scattered emotions before returning downstairs._

 _She pressed her back against the door until she heard it latch and then sunk into the floor, sitting Scout down next to her._

" _There you go sweetheart," she cooed, handing the infant the book she was reaching out for._

" _Did you give your Uncle Spin a hard time?" The baby smiled, as if to confirm her inquiry. "You did, didn't you?" She sighed, watching the little girl turn her attention to the interactive storybook._

" _Were you scared when you woke up and I wasn't here?" She asked sadly. She knew exactly what that was like, to wake up and realize you were alone. It wasn't an enviable position._

" _I know that would be scary and confusing."_

 _Scout gurgled in amusement, ignoring her mother's commentary._

" _This whole thing is probably confusing for you too, huh? All this tension and uncertainty...the people you're used to seeing aren't around much, and there's new people coming in that you don't know. Like Spin, and Jason, but you know what? They both already love you and are two of the best people to have in your corner. I don't know what I'd do without them."_

 _The brunette pulled out her phone to examine the time. She'd give them a few more minutes._

 _She needed that time to reconcile with herself._

 _Comforting Jason had come as natural to her as breathing. It wasn't until her hand was in his that her brain caught up reminding her she was a happily married woman holding the hand of a man who was no longer her husband. Just like it hadn't occurred to her how it might feel to seeing Danny run into his father's arms on sight. It was a tidal wave of pure joy that ebbed into painful regret, and she rode the highs and lows, letting herself feel it all in a way she hadn't been free to do since the reveal._

 _How could something so right feel so wrong? Or was it wrong, but just felt right? Either way, she felt as though she were betraying the man she loved and promised her heart and life to. The only trouble was that person kept shifting from one brother to the other, depending on the moment._

 _Once she had vanished, Jason clasped one hand in the other, suddenly nervous to be alone with his son. He'd always been good at conversing with children, but his recent blunder left him off balance, afraid of making another mistake._

" _So...Danny," he sputtered, wishing Sam were there to supervise in case damage control was needed, "what have you got there?"_

 _The little boy paused, looking down at the paper in his hands. He'd thought a lot about what he wanted to say, or rather show, his father. He wanted him to know that he was missed and loved, and so he'd drawn out two stick figures on the front. One was short, with long, wild hair. The other had circles for arms and stood taller. Inside was the only sentence he'd had the most practice writing._

 _Gingerly, he passed his gift off to Jason and stepped back to watch his reaction. Whenever he'd given anything to his other daddy, the man had grinned wide and wrapped him in an enthusiastic hug, but his new daddy was much harder to read._

 _At first, Jason just stared at the picture on the front, wordlessly thanking God once again for keeping his family safe and bringing him home to them. Even if it wasn't exactly what he'd expected, being there was enough._

" _Is this me and you," he asked, squatting down to meet his son's eye._

 _Danny nodded, unsure how else to respond._

" _I like how you drew us together," he added, his mouth slightly upturned in a half-smile._

 _His praise coaxed a similar expression from the five year old._

" _I also wrote something," he whispered, tapping on the card._

 _Inside in big lopsided letters written out in crayon were the words I love you, and they struck Jason's heart with deadly aim._

 _Tears sprang to his eyes as he looked into the face of his little boy, a cautious optimism looking back at him._

" _Do you like it?"_

 _Jason took a steadying breath, and smiled at his son- the kind of smile he reserved for those who held his heart in their hands._

" _I love it," he assured, closing the card once more, "and I love you, Danny. Thank you."_

 _The child launched himself full force at his father, wrapping both arms around his neck. Jason happily returned the gesture, holding him close._

" _Is it okay if I call you dad," Danny murmured against his shoulder._

 _Unable to hold back anymore, Jason's tears quietly trickled down. Never had he imagined Danny would accept him so quickly or absolutely, especially after what happened with Jake. He'd expected both boys to need time and had been more than willing to respect that, but not having to wait for Danny's love filled him with unspeakable joy, and he knew he Sam to thank for it all._

" _If that's what you want, yeah."_

 _Danny squeezed a little tighter before finally letting him go, feeling a bit lighter himself. He didn't understand the sensation or why it was happening, but Sam's promise and Jason's return had given him the solid ground he'd been searching for the last few days. It was still a confusing situation, but for the moment he was happy._

 _Jason found himself floundering yet again. Most of the time Danny reminded him of Sam. The boy had clearly inherited her expressive nature and playful spirit. However, he was beginning to see himself in Danny as well, not just in his appearance, though he did greatly resemble his half brother at times, but in his behavior as well. They were both direct in their questions and answers, neither wasting a word. In fact, now that he thought about it, every conversation the two had shared were short, sweet, and to the point. He decided it was best to keep with the established pattern._

" _Your mom brought lunch. You want to help me set it out before we call her back down?"_

 _Danny agreed, happy to be included, and even more so to be given an opportunity to sneak a few fries. He grabbed a bag and quickly began rooting through containers, searching for strays. This left Jason with the task of gathering dishes from the kitchen. Instinctively, he went to the cabinet where plates had always been stored and felt an odd sense of relief when the smooth glass met his fingertips. He smiled to himself as he reached into a nearby drawer, finding the silverware exactly where he'd left it._

 _Jason has never been a materialistic person, but there was something reassuring about finding an aspect of his past that hadn't changed with time. Even if it was something as simple and menial as a kitchen layout._

 _Father and son had just finished plating their lunch when Sam emerged, still frazzled, but decidedly less overwhelmed, with a gleeful Emily in her arms. Gracefully, they descended the stairs, her smile growing as she noticed the coffee table._

" _Did you guys do all this?" She directed the question toward Danny with overflowing enthusiasm before throwing a coy glance to Jason._

 _Danny chirped with pride and the brunette rewarded him with one of her special mom looks that was just for him and and his sister._

" _Well in that case, maybe I should leave the two of you alone together more often," she teased, searing herself on one side of the table and placing Scout in her lap._

" _What do you think Em?"_

 _The little girl stared back at her mother with big brown curious eyes, no doubt confused by the nickname._

 _Sam wasn't even sure why she'd called her that. It had just slipped out._

 _Danny seemed puzzled too._

" _Who's Em," he asked, biting into his grilled cheese, savoring the gooey cheese flavor on his tongue._

 _Jason and Sam exchanged a look._

 _She'd never actually told Danny about his Aunt Emily before, and wasn't sure this was the how and when she wanted to address that particular subject, but she had been the one to bring it up, sort of..._

" _Your sister is. Her name is Emily Scout. Em is just a shorter version."_

" _Oh," he shrugged, taking another bite of his sandwich._

 _Sam handed a fry to the baby in question for her to gnaw on, but her gaze kept drifting back to Jason. She knew how much he loved his sister and how guilty he had felt for not being able to protect her. It had been years since her death, and she still rarely came up, though she'd seen and felt his gratitude when he'd learned her daughter's name._

 _When Sam wasn't watching Jason, his eyes were on her. Over their years together he'd had the great honor of peeling back her layers, seeing every version of her- save one. He'd never had the privilege of witnessing her in the role she'd waited nine years to fulfill, until now, and seeing how naturally she'd taken to motherhood was well worth the wait. She was playful and funny. Her corny jokes never ceased to make Danny laugh and her exaggerated expressions had little Scout giggling between fries. She was firm, but kind, and endlessly thoughtful with her words and gestures._

 _Finally, their eyes locked and the brunette couldn't help but smile._

" _What?"_

 _Jason's brows shot up, leaning back from the table._

" _What do you mean what," he countered."_

 _Her dark orbs fell to the table, her hands reaching for something to fidget with._

" _I don't know. You're sitting over there, and you're looking at me funny."_

 _Danny looked up at his parents, who were staring at one another with goofy faces. He felt like it meant something, but didn't know what._

 _Jason shrugged, tossing his used napkin in a ball on the table._

" _I'm just happy," he explained, his smile growing wider. "I missed you."_

 _The brunette glowed, despite her resolve to remain unaffected._

" _I missed you too," she admitted, her head tilting slightly._

* * *

 _By the end of the day, Drew's anger had subsided and guilt had set in. Not only had he been cruel in his dealings with his brother that morning, but more importantly, he'd broken his promise to Sam. Throwing Jason's past mistakes in his face and calling him undeserving was not showing consideration for the mob enforcer or his situation, and might be detrimental to his plans for the holiday should his wife learn of their disagreement. He couldn't afford the setback._

 _He reached into the drawer and removed the ring box before locking his unfinished files in the desk and shutting down his computer._

 _He owed his twin an apology, even if it might kill him to choke out the words._

 _The good news was it was closing time for Aurora, and Sam and the kids were waiting for him at home. Which was just what he needed after a long day at the office and a shouting match with his least favorite person. Eagerly, he gathered his things and headed for the penthouse, but paused when he heard laughter through the door- a man's laughter._


	14. Chapter 12

_**A/N** : **As always, thank you so much for the love and support you show me and my story! It means everything. I know everyone is wondering how Drew is going to handle finding Jason in the penthouse with Sam and the kids so let's get to it, shall we ;)**_

 _Danny studied the dominoes on the table, his childlike features set in hard lines. His brow furrowed as he examined his remaining tiles until his next move became clear. A smile crept slowly across his face as he reached for his double four and slapped it down with a triumphant grin._

" _Beat that," he challenged his following opponent._

 _Sam turned her loving gaze from the child on her knee to the one at her side, an amused twinkle in her eyes._

" _Oh yeah?" Her reply was quick but lame. "Watch me." Within seconds her bravado deflated as she reached into the boneyard, forfeiting her turn._

 _The five year old stifled a giggle at his mother's expense, who turned her attention back to the infant on her lap._

" _You think that's funny," she teased as Scout wrapped her hands around the brunette's fingers._

 _All eyes were on Jason now. It was his turn and the domino in his hand could potentially signal the end of the game. Like Danny, he stared at the board, then then his remaining tile with laser focus before laying it down with a playful smirk- the one that never failed to provoke a smile from Sam, and this time was no exception._

 _She beamed at him from across the table while Danny stared at the tiles in bewilderment. He blinked once. Then again, and again before finally finding his voice._

" _But, but I always win," he stammered in disbelief._

 _Jason wiped his hand over his mouth in attempt to hide his chuckle. Danny had definitely inherited his mother's competitive streak._

" _Well, that's because you were playing against your mom," he baited the brunette, in good nature of course._

 _His efforts were rewarded with glowing chocolate eyes and a curl of her lips. Her hands roamed the the surface of the table for a weapon, finding the napkin he had balled up during lunch. She picked it up and sent it sailing toward his chest, not at all surprised when he caught the projectile, spoiling her plan._

 _Still, she earned a laugh from Jason and a giggle from the kids._

" _I'll have you know I'm very good at this game," she defended. The baby gurgled her support while Jason and Danny maintained their skepticism._

" _Don't look at me like that, I am!"_

 _Her game dramatically improved with the absence of tequila. Though it did make things a little more interesting. And a lot more fun!_

" _I'm the one who taught you how to play," she continued. "And I'm the only person that's ever beaten your dad." She paused, considering the boldness of that statement. "That I know of."_

 _Danny turned toward Jason seeking confirmation while he and Sam shared a knowing glance. Her wins had come few and far between, and one had even been the result of blackmail, but he was happy to allow her this moment and would do nothing to erase the admiration in their son's eyes._

" _She's right," he conceded, while the brunette mouthed her thanks behind Danny, who twisted toward her with his whole body now._

" _Show me?"_

* * *

 _Jason had never understood how Sam felt hiding behind that bush watching Elizabeth with his child, but Drew did. Standing outside the penthouse door, listening to Jason and Sam banter adorably with one another and the child they'd always dreamed of having together, had provided him with frightening insight to the feeling of displacement and the desperation it inspired. Two months ago, he'd been the happiest man alive. He had a new lease on life, a beautiful family, and a new adventure ahead. His life was everything he could possibly hope for. Then his twin brother had come crashing through the skylight and overnight his dreamlike existence had transformed into a nightmare._

 _Just when he'd finally put his wandering and confusion behind him, the truth had come out and he'd once again been stripped of everything he thought he knew. He wasn't Danny and Jake's father, nor was he the love of Sam's life. He was an outsider, an orphan. And Jason was home, ready to claim the blank spaces Drew had chosen to reject._

 _Despite having his name and his memories, Drew had never become Jason- not really. It would have been easy falling into the roles his brother had left behind, but he chose to forge his own way instead. Rather than stepping back in line as Sonny's number two, he'd chosen to explore his options, eventually purchasing Aurora and becoming his own boss. He and Sam had also decided to start over with a clean slate, building a friendship and partnership that ultimately led to a life-changing romance._

 _Drew rested his head against the door, fighting back a surge of bittersweet memories. He didn't have to remember his past to know the last two years were most likely the happiest he'd ever been and he didn't want to give that up._

' _Sam loves me,' he reminded, with a deep calming breath. 'She loves our family, and our life together.'_

" _Being" Jason has given him an advantage no previous competitor had ever had- her undivided love and loyalty. Every other relationship had been spent with one foot either out the door or in the past, but with him, she'd held nothing back. She had given her all, and in return he'd done the same. There were admittedly similarities between he and his twin- Sam had told him so many times, even credited those traits for being what pulled her toward him in the beginning. But in the end, it was their differences that would set them apart. And Sam had loved and embraced those traits as well._

 _He had to trust that. More importantly, he had to trust her. Sam had given him no reason for doubt, aside from the reasonable amount of confusion at her ex husband's return. She had chosen to remain by his side both in business and their marriage. Her honesty and fidelity hadn't wavered . It was his own insecurity forcing her to take up Jason's defense, and unless he changed course immediately, his fear of her running into the arms of Port Charles's favorite henchman would become a self-fulfilling prophecy._

 _He was a Seal, a strategist, and it was time he started thinking like one._

 _With newfound confidence and a firm grasp on his emotions he turned the door handle, alerting the others to his presence._

" _Hey guys," he called out cheerily, laying down his case and slipping off his suit jacket. "How was everyone's day?"_

 _He stiffened at the sight of Scout in the mobster's arms, but quickly recovered, flashing a charming smile as he came closer._

" _May I," he asked, grateful when his daughter reached out for him as well._

 _Jason nodded curtly, passing her off to her father. "Yeah, of course."_

 _Sam sat cross-legged on the floor, her fingers shuffling the downward faced tiles for their next round. Her hands froze instinctively as Drew towered over them with Emily on his hip._

" _How's daddy's princess?"_

 _She smiled watching the two together. Out of all the men Faison and Helena could have sent her way, they'd chosen one who was kind and devoted, and a wonderful father. For that she was grateful._

" _You seem to be feeling better champ," he said, noting the glance exchanged between mother and son. He made a mental note to ask about that later as he moved the baby from one side to the other._

 _His gaze fell to the table with an inward sigh._

' _Of course...'_

 _Sam's eyes followed his down to the table._

" _Dominoes huh?" His throat was uncomfortably dry all of a sudden and his stomach turned over._

 _The brunette smiled, guiltily, once again feeling that her life had been reduced to a childhood game of tug of war. On one side was Jason and their years of memories together. Dominoes had been a recurring theme in their relationship, though they were usually accompanied with tequila, and playing with him and Danny had been a natural progression of that history. But then there was Drew, she had also played with, and who felt equally entitled to that legacy._

 _She looked down at the tiles to avoid the probing gazes of both men._

" _Um, yeah. We just finished the game." She scooped the tiles in her hand and began placing them back in the box._

" _You know it's Danny's favorite."_

 _Drew nodded, a charming grin plastered across his face._

" _Only cause he always wins," he joked, but the little boy piped up with a rebuttal._

" _Not this time. Dad won," he said._

 _The word Dad did not go unnoticed. In fact, it hurt like hell. Not long ago, that word had applied to him. Now he was just his uncle or his stepfather, and while Danny might be able to love him in those roles, it would never be the same as before. Already he could see the five year old's adoration shifting toward his brother. Drew was no longer his hero. Jason was. The mob enforcer would be the one to set Danny's example of manhood moving forward. And without knowing any better, that bright, sweet, funny child would grow to emulate violence and criminality._

 _He turned toward Jason, a glint of disgust hiding behind his amiable expression._

" _Good for you," he congratulated. "He spanks Sam and I both every time. I guess that means he takes after you."_

 _Danny frowned. "That's not what mommy said._

 _His gaze softened, eyes twinkling with humor. Between Jason's memories and his own, he knew his wife was no domino champion, but there was no reason to rob their son- her son, of that disillusion._

 _His mouth briefly formed an upside down U shape._

" _My bad."_

 _There were a few awkward giggles and then a hush fell over the room. Danny watched as the adults took turns exchanging meaningful looks that he didn't quite understand, waiting for someone-anyone to speak. The tension was suffocating, even for a five year old, and the little boy could take it no longer._

" _Can I take Dad up to my room?" His voice was small but clear._

 _Sam smiled, ruffling his curly waves and nodding her approval. Jason rose from his position on the floor and followed his son's lead up the staircase._

 _Drew bent down, ready and eager to take advantage of their privacy. Unfortunately, his wife did not respond the way he'd anticipated. As he tried to deepen the kiss, she pulled back, an unreadable darkness in her eyes._

" _What's wrong," he asked, watching her wipe her hands down her legs and rise to her feet._

 _She tugged on the ends of her sleeves, cloaking her hands in fabric._

" _It's just been a long day." Her response was vague and only confused him further._

" _Did something happen with Danny," he probed, reflecting on the glance they'd shared earlier._

 _She shook her head no, rubbing her forehead as if trying to ease a headache._

" _Nothing happened, exactly." Her arms crossed and she angled her head to the side. "He just had a lot on his mind the last few days, a lot of questions."_

 _She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. 'Why did this have to be so hard?'_

" _He wanted to know why you hate Jason, and if he left because of you."_

 _The pint sized brunette winced as the color drained from her husband's face. Carefully, he approached the pack and play, and sat Scout down inside it. The little girl immersed herself in her toys and forgot mommy and daddy were even around while Drew stood next to her, searching for words._

 _He couldn't exactly blame Danny or Sam for thinking that. Though, he thought he'd done a better job of masking his feelings in the former's case._

" _What did you tell him, when he asked that, what did you say?"_

 _What had she said? That conversation felt like a lifetime ago after Spinelli's outburst of concern and her run in with Jason on the docks._

 _She brushed her hair back from her face with the opposite hand._

" _I don't know...I told him that Jason left for business reasons and he'd be back soon."_

 _The blonde scoffed, rubbing the scruff on his jawline._

" _Business reasons, well I guess that's one way of putting it." Jason had left to commit cold blooded murder, but he understood why Sam kept that detail from Danny. What he didn't understand is why she seemed okay with that fact._

" _What did you tell him about me?"_

 _One arm was now crossed across her torso, a sign of defense, while the thumb of her other hand had been resting against the corner of her mouth. The free hand made a flourish into the air, palm up and fingers outstretched._

" _I don't remember exactly. I asked him why he thought that. He said he didn't think, he knew. He seemed more worried that Jason wasn't coming back, so that was my focus."_

 _He looked down, shaking his head._

 _Of course, her focus was Jason. Everyone's focus since the reveal was on Jason. Even his own. He was trying to be more considerate of his brother's situation. He was trying to understand. But it didn't help that no one stopped to look at things from his point of view._

" _So you didn't defend me at all?"_

 _The hurt in his voice caused her to drop all defense._

" _I didn't know what to say," she confessed with a shrug of her shoulders. "We both know you're not Jason's number one fan, and I didn't know what he saw or heard to make him think that. I just wanted to help him feel better and hearing that Jason was coming back...helped."_

 _Drew let out a frustrated sigh._

" _Wouldn't it help Danny to know that I'm not trying to get rid of his father? Or do you believe that too?"_

 _Sam rushed to his side, latching onto his arm._

" _I know that this is hard for you, and I understand why you're struggling to accept Jason. Anyone in your position would feel the same way. But I also know you love Danny, and you'd never do anything to hurt him. So no matter how you feel about Jason, I know you wouldn't try to take him from Danny."_

 _Her chocolate orbs were like hooks, reeling him back to the surface. She felt his muscles slack as the comfort of her words broke through. Still, as she stroked his arm, and they smiled at one another, there was a prickling thought in the back of her mind._

 _Then why hadn't she said that? If her faith in him was so steadfast and sure, why hadn't she plead his case that morning? Why had she, for a fraction of a second, questioned if Drew had conspired to keep her out of the office the day of Jason's return? And why could she not bring herself to reach for his hand?_

* * *

 _This time when they reached the top of the stairs, Danny ushered his father into the room. Once they were inside, he closed the door behind them, shutting out any voices that might carry. He knew now that his dad loved him and would never go away just because someone wanted him to. Still, he didn't want him to hear the hurtful things his other daddy might be saying downstairs._

" _So," Jason shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket. "What would you like to do?"_

 _The five year old shrugged. He hadn't planned beyond their escape, to be honest._

" _We can play something." This option inspired little enthusiasm from the child. "Or you know, we can just talk."_

 _Gently, he guided the boy over to his bed and they both sat down. Jason's elbows rested on his legs and his fingers interlocked. Danny took note of this and tried his best to mimic the stance._

 _The man's lips crooked upward as he watched from the corner of his eye._

" _You know, your mom mentioned that you were having a hard time while I was away."_

 _The preschooler frowned, no longer pleased with himself._

" _She thought you might have been worried about me."_

 _Danny looked up, locking eyes with his dad. He couldn't explain the pit in his stomach, he just knew the topic made him uncomfortable._

" _I might have been," he admitted, somberly._

 _Jason smiled, rubbing circles on his son's back, just as he'd watched Sam do earlier._

" _That's my fault, Danny. I should have explained things to you better before I left. I should have said goodbye."_

 _The little boy's gaze drifted up to his father's face. He looked sad._

" _But you did," he argued. "You petted my head, and kissed me, and told me you loved me, remember?"_

 _Jason blinked, his mouth half open._

" _Uh, yeah, I do, but I didn't think you did." They had all assumed he was asleep that night._

 _A shadow fell over Jason's face as realization dawned. If he'd been able to hear Drew's accusations, then so had Danny. He twiddled with his thumbs, contemplating his next words carefully._

" _You know, sometimes when adults are afraid, they say things they shouldn't or that they don't really mean..."_

 _He could feel his son watching, hanging onto each syllable, and swallowed hard. Michael was already a man by the time of his disappearance. Morgan was in boarding school. It had been a long time since he'd been required to reach a child on their level._

" _And your-" what was he supposed to call Drew? "Your other dad, he spent a long time believing something that wasn't true until I showed up. So right now he's scared and he's confused, and we need to be patient with him."_

 _Was that too big a word for a five year old?_

" _Do you know what patience is?"_

 _Danny considered the question a minute, bobbing his head back and forth._

" _I think so. It's like when I want mommy to play with me, but she's doing something with my sister so I have to wait my turn, right?"_

 _He smiled as Jason nodded his approval._

" _That's right, but sometimes it also means loving people even when they make mistakes."_

 _The little boy echoed Jason's nod, as if to say he understood._

" _So you're saying I should love my other daddy even though he said not nice things about you?"_

 _Jason pulled his son closer to his side in a one armed hug._

" _That's exactly what I'm saying."_

 _He looked up at Jason, curiosity etched in his tiny features, a small breath of relief on his lips. Truthfully, he loved both his dads and didn't want to choose sides, so hearing Jason give him permission to love his other daddy had been just what he needed to hear._

" _Does that mean you love him too?"_

 _His voice was barely above a whisper._

 _Jason rubbed his chin. His feelings about Drew were complicated, too complicated for a five year old to wrap their mind around._

" _I don't really know your other dad all that well, so I can't love him the way you do. But I do understand this is rough on him, and I'm trying not to take to heart, because he doesn't really know me either."_

 _Danny pondered on the response a moment before deeming it sense worthy and moving on. He started to get up but Jason laid his hand on his shoulder easing him back down._

" _One more thing and then I promise we're done." Was that- an eye roll? Did five year olds even do that? Whatever it was, he chose to ignore it. He could hardly fault the kid for despising heavy conversation when it was something they shared._

 _Jason met his boy's eyes in earnest._

" _I know your mom told you this already, but I wanted you to hear it from me." Danny's head gave a slight tilt toward his shoulder. "Sometimes I might have to go away for a little bit, like the last few days, but I promise you I will always do whatever it takes to get back to my family, and that means you, okay? I'm not gonna let anyone keep us apart."_

 _Only Sam or death could make him break that vow, and she would never ask him to._

* * *

 _Nearly an hour had passed by the time she heard Jason's footsteps on the stairs. She glanced over to Drew, who was sitting next to her, forcing a smile. Inside something was twisting painfully, but that was her cross her bear, her punishment for bringing Jason there. It had seemed like the right thing at the time. Jason and Danny were both hurting. They needed one another, and being together that afternoon had brought them both joy. That fact alone made her decision impossible to regret._

 _But in her attempt to console them she had disregarded her husband's feelings and that was wrong. He'd made so much progress where Jason was concerned. Even when he'd been unexpectedly faced with having his brother in their home, holding their daughter, he'd managed to keep his calm and made no disparagement the other's character once they were alone. He was trying and didn't deserve to have her complicating his efforts._

 _Which meant days like today couldn't keep happening._

 _The couple rose and met their guest at the bottom of the steps._

 _Standing between them was always the hardest part. It was a physical representation of her inner turmoil and she hated it._

" _You and Danny have fun," Drew asked, searching for a neutral opening._

 _Jason nodded, with half a smile._

" _Yeah, we did."_

 _The host parroted his twin's nod and smile. It was moments like this she remembered how she ever could have confused the two. Though their faces were no longer the same, they shared certain habits and characteristics she had believed were inherent to her husband's- former husband's being._

" _I'm glad," Drew said, pushing his thumbs into his pockets. "But Sam and I were talking and we agree it's time to start taking our situation more seriously."_

 _He glanced over to his wife for support, but her cocoa orbs were firmly fixed on the floor._

 _Jason's brow crinkled, as his gaze shifted to Sam. Whatever was going to happen, he wanted to hear it from her._

" _What does he mean by that?" His voice was soft but urgent._

 _The brunette lifted her eyes to meet his and found fear and uncertainty staring back at her. She didn't want to be here, having this conversation. She wanted to go back to playing dominoes and laughing with the children, but that moment had passed and there was no going back to it._

 _Drew stepped forward, sensing her hesitation. He hadn't made her do this. They'd both agreed it was best for Danny and their family to set some boundaries between the three of them._

' _Then why is she so reluctant to follow through' his brain challenged, though he already knew the answer. How could he not, with a lifetime of memories in his head?_

" _Relax Jason, I have no intention of coming between you and Danny. We just think it's time the three of us sat down and made out a schedule. That way he knows when he gets to see you and the kids' routine isn't disrupted."_

 _It took everything in Sam not to reach out when she saw the look on his face- that quiet resignation. Surely, he knew she'd never cut him out of their son's life._

" _You're free to see Danny whenever you want," she erupted suddenly. "This is not about limiting your time with him. It's just a guideline to help us coexist peacefully."_

' _And to keep me away from you,' he thought bitterly._

 _Emily Scout cries out from her pack and play, demanding their attention. Hours had passed since lunch and she was anxious for her next feeding. Immediately, Sam raced to her side, hooking the child on her hip._

 _Drew reached out, touching the brunette's back and planting a kiss on the baby's temple._

" _Would you mind taking her upstairs, just for a minute? There's something I'd like to say to Jason and I'd prefer it to stay between us."_

 _Her eyes darted from one twin to the other cautiously. Though both had been on their best behavior, she wasn't quite ready to leave them alone together just yet. Just as she was about to object Scout let out another impatient wail, asserting priority._

 _Both men waited until the infant's howls could no longer be heard before turning their gaze to one another._

 _For the first time since Jason had come crashing into his life, Drew stood objectively observing the man who he had shared an identity with. Without the knowledge Faison had given him, Jason had also done nothing to warrant his anger, and when charged with the allegation of hatred, he'd realized that he didn't actually hate the person standing in front of him. It was the legend of Jason Morgan he hated. His brother was nothing more than a man, and a flawed one at that. There was no reason they had to be enemies._

 _Assuming Jason would accept his apology._

" _Listen man," Drew gulped hard, hoping to swallow the lump in his throat. "I wanted to say I'm sorry, and not just for what I said today, which was completely out of line, but what I said about using Danny to get to Sam, and manipulating her on the docks." He grimaced, taking stock of his many indiscretions. "Wow! I've said a lot of really inappropriate things, haven't I?"_

 _Jason just shrugged in his nonjudgmental way while his brother shifted in place uncomfortably._

" _You bailed me out with the Navy and I never even said thank you...so I guess I'm saying it now. Thanks for that."_

 _The lines of Jason's face softened with understanding. Finally, he was meeting the man his friends had defended and Sam had fallen for, and he could see why._

 _His chest constricted with that thought. It was easy to believe he and Sam might find their way back together when he was convinced he was the better man. Now he wasn't so sure._

" _It was nothing," he said, never one to take credit for his heroics._

 _Drew shook his head, offering a handshake and a truce._

" _It was the difference between freedom and imprisonment, which is a big deal to me."_

 _Jason took his hand and the two exchanged a friendly shake while Sam watched from the stairs, with a knot in her stomach._

 _ **If you haven't realized it by now, the Drew of this story is not the character from the show we have come to despise. But fear not loyal readers, this is still very much a Jasam endgame, only now Jason has a worthy opponent for Sam's heart ;)**_


	15. Chapter 13

_**A/N: First and foremost, thank you again so much for the love and support you continue to show me and this story! I will be endlessly grateful that my first attempt was accepted by you all. Every view, follow, fave, and review pushes me that much harder to give you my best and keep the inspiration flowing!**_

 _ **Second, I know next to nothing about boats but I did look up a formula to calculate distance travelled in nautical miles and supposedly you can sail from Massachusetts to New York in one day (like nine hrs going 23 mph apparently) If they lied and it's not, please forgive me and overlook the error for the sake of story.**_

 _ **Third, please don't hold the sins of tv Drew against the one in this story. Bless his heart, he knows not what he does ;)**_

 _It was New Year's eve, and Alexis was on her way to the penthouse for some extra grandma time. Not that she minded spending time with her grandchildren. She loved Danny and Scout. Whether Julian was out traipsing about with that woman from the bar was no concern of hers, at all. Okay...maybe it was a little concerning?_

 _No! She shut the spiral down. As an addict, one of the first things she had learned was to control her thought process. If she didn't think about a drink, she didn't long for one. Same with her abusive ex husband. If she didn't think about him, she wouldn't remember the good times. She wouldn't play that dangerous game of devil's advocate, and she wouldn't relapse._

 _She couldn't even if she wanted to, not tonight. Too much was at stake to let her self-destructive qualities get the better of her._

' _Haven't they already?'_

 _She quickly pushed that thought aside too, not wanting to hear it._

 _The lawyer and skeptic within knew she was crossing the line, keeping pertinent information from her eldest, but the mother in her was too far gone to care. Sam had been raised with the worst examples of adulthood and had only in recent years managed to overcome her tumultuous upbringing. Finally, she was in a healthy, safe, stable place in life, and Jason Morgan was a threat to her progress._

 _Had Alexis been old enough to raise her herself or strong enough to defy her family, perhaps Sam would have had a better chance. As it stood, the former con-woman was her own worst enemy. Already she was struggling to remember where her loyalties lay. The truth would only confuse her more, and tempt her to run back to the mobster without a thought to the consequences._

 _Once Sam and Drew's future together was secure, she'd tell her everything. Her daughter wouldn't like it, but she'd forgive her for it nonetheless. One day she might even thank her._

 _The inner voice of reason snorted!_

' _When has she ever thanked you from trying to protect her from Jason's world?' The answer was never, and this time would likely be no different._

 _That didn't matter. If Sam wasn't wise enough to safeguard her future, then Alexis would._

 _She'd just pulled into the parking garage when her phone began ringing. A Cheshire Cat grin formed on her lips as she glanced down at the caller id._

" _Alexis Davis," she chirped, confident the prompt reply from Judge Friarson's office meant a good omen._

 _She maneuvered the large SUV into a slender space close to the elevator and slid the gear into park._

 _The corners of her mouth fell as she listened to the voice on the other end regurgitate the facts of her case along with legal statutes of "similar" cases, no doubt provided by Diane Miller. Specifically, Drew's case two years prior as Jason Morgan._

 _Were the case not personal, she might be less annoyed and more impressed._

" _Yes, your honor, I am familiar with the precedent in question, however, the circumstances of this case are slightly more extraordinary. My client was abducted and brainwashed into assuming the identity of his own twin brother, whom he had no previous knowledge of. It hardly seems fair to punish the victim-"_

 _She was cut off before she could finish._

" _Yes, sir, I realize Mr. Morgan is also a victim in this case." She nearly gagged on the word. There were many to describe Sonny's favorite hitman, but that certainly wasn't one that sprung to mind._

 _She nodded curtly, forgetting the judge couldn't see._

" _Yes, I agree innocent men should have every protection the court can offer." Innocent being the key word, which was why she couldn't let this go without a fight. "With all due respect your honor, a DNA test would be a tedious waste of time and a drain on court resources. The brothers are identical twins. The child is bound to share markers with both brothers. And Mr. Morgan was in Russia at the time of conception. Short of a medical miracle or implantation of sperm without the mother's knowledge, there's no way he could have fathered this baby."_

 _Again, she was interrupted, and struggled to find her calm. Going off on the judge would serve neither the best interest of her client or her daughter. All it would accomplish is charges against her for threatening a legal official._

" _Yes sir, I understand." She closed her eyes and let out a slow breath as he gave his final word on the subject. "Happy New Year to you as well."_

 _Once the call was ended she made a face, signaling her displeasure. "Or not!"_

 _Thanks to him, her holiday would consist of drafting a petition for proof of paternity after the kids were put to bed._

* * *

 _The penthouse was in chaos by the time she reached the front door. Hurricane Daniel had torn through the apartment shortly after Drew's departure, leaving a trail of scattered toys and crumbs in his wake while Sam tended to a very fussy Scout, who seemed to have caught her first cold and was none too happy about it. So far, nothing had gone according to plan._

" _Don't look at me like that," the brunette warned, taking note of her mother's "concerned" expression._

 _Alexis readjusted her features in a less judgmental way._

" _I'm not looking at you in any particular way," she defended, dropping her bags by the door and reaching for the baby._

 _Sam stared her down skeptically, as she tried not to notice the pj's and tangled mess of hair atop her head._

" _I'm a mess! The place is a mess!" She shrugged in defeat. "Scout's sick. Maybe tonight isn't such a good idea?"_

 _Sure, her nerves were fried and she'd love an excuse to escape the house and reconnect with her husband, but with Scout under the weather and Danny in such rare form, a night out felt selfish._

 _Alexis shook her head while calming the baby._

" _That's the exhaustion talking, but your Mama's here now, and I insist you take the night off. Me and the kids will be just fine."_

 _Sam glanced around the apartment with a heavy sigh._

" _Are you sure? I mean, I know it's a lot." She gestured to the sty surrounding them._

 _Her mother gave a half shrug._

" _It's nothing I can't handle," she assured. "Now what do you plan to wear tonight?"_

 _A small giggle of relief and absurdity bubbled up from her daughter's throat. Knowing Sam, she probably hadn't given it any thought, which was the exact reply she hoped for._

 _The brunette rubbed her forehead, her head tilted to toward her shoulder._

" _I have a little black dress I could wear." Her mother's face screamed disapproval. "Or there's the blue sequined one I haven't worn in a few years?" Again, Alexis's face said no. "It's not like my closet is filled with formal wear mom."_

 _The older woman smiled, all the way up to the corners of her eyes._

" _I think I have a solution," she all but squealed. Sam shook her head but waved her hand, prompting her to continue. "In my car, there's a dress. I ordered it for me, for the nurse's ball, but of course they sent the wrong size, but I bet it will fit you."_

 _The young woman eyed her mother suspiciously. What were the chances her mother would have a formal gown just lying around? And even if the story checked out, what were the chances the dress would fit? Whether she believed it or not, her mom was clearly on a mission and not about to take no for an answer._

" _I guess it's worth a shot," she said throwing her hands up in resignation._

 _By this time Scout's medicine had kicked in and her appetite was returning. Sam took her daughter and gestures toward the kitchen._

" _You get the dress, I'll get her something to eat, and with a little luck," and a lot of work, "I'll make it out the door in time for the New Year," she teased, disappearing from view._

 _Alexis made a beeline for the door when she heard Danny's small voice call out to her, asking for a sheet of paper._

" _In the bag on the floor," she offered, smiling to herself._

 _She'd successfully completed her part of "mission engagement" and anticipated her grandson's needs for the evening. Forget Julian and whatever bimbo was hanging on his arm. She could easily take their place, but then she wouldn't have these little moments with her family to cherish. No man was worth that._

 _Danny sat alone in the living room doodling when his mother and sister returned. She collapsed on the couch behind him, propping Emily up next to her. Her gaze drifted over to her son, and her heart constricted. She felt like the worst mother in the world. All day and night, her attention had been centered on the sick little girl beside her while her five year old had been forced to take a backseat. To his credit, the little boy had done everything in his power to minimize his presence and take nothing from his sister. Which only made Sam feel worse._

 _The brunette leaned up, tussling his long blonde hair._

" _Whatcha got there?"_

 _She'd only wanted to show interest, however now that she was looking at the paper beneath his crayon and was genuinely curious._

 _He looked up at her, eyes sparkling with imagination as he described his latest masterpiece. He was no artist, by any means, but it was a fun way to distract himself when all else failed._

 _Sam fingered the edges of the drawing, carefully lifting a corner to examine the other side. Her mouth fell open as she caught a glimpse of fine print, and she glanced nervously toward the door._

" _Where did you get this?" Her shock morphed into a frown as he pointed toward her mother's work bag._

' _That's just great! I left him alone for five seconds and now he's scribbling on someone's law suit."_

 _She nodded with a smile, trying to hide her concern._

" _How about I give you a clean piece and we can give this one this one to grandma as a gift?" The child eyed her a moment, considering the request before breaking out into a grin._

 _Legal documents were supposed to be confidential, but she couldn't resist flipping it over and skimming the contents. Her heart skipped when she read Jason's name, and fell when she finished the first sentence._

 _As if on cue, Alexis reappeared in the doorway, a large white box with fancy lettering in her arms. One look at her daughter's face and she knew she was in trouble._

 _Sam stared blankly at the paper in her hands, attempting to process what she was seeing. She wanted to scream, to punch something...or someone, but her children were in the room. All she could do was sit there and scowl._

' _A petition to forfeit paternal rights,'she shook her head in disbelief._

" _I don't even know where to begin."_

 _Alexis gently dropped the box on the desk next to the door. She didn't have to ask what was in her daughter's hands. There was only one explanation for her cold greeting, and while this was neither the time nor place for this particular conversation, it seemed she could no longer avoid the subject._

" _Danny," she bent down with a wide smile, trying to mask the tension that must be written on her face. "Why don't you take your sister upstairs and pick out a movie. I'll join you guys in a few minutes."_

 _Her eyes drifted up toward Sam. "I have to talk to your mommy first."_

 _He turned to his mother for approval, which she readily gave. She hated the idea of sending the children away after the day they'd had so far, but was thankful they'd be distracted and out of earshot. Once both kids were safely tucked away upstairs, her smile fell._

" _What's the matter mom? Don't want your grandson to know that you're trying to take his dad from him," she spat venomously. "I know you don't approve of Jason, but never in my wildest dreams did I think you'd stoop to this." She shook the paper angrily in the older woman's face._

 _Alexis stood stone-faced and calm. She'd expected this tantrum from her eldest, and had been mentally preparing for weeks._

" _While I'm not opposed to Jason's absence in my grandchild's life I am neither naive enough to believe he would ever do the honorable thing nor am I foolish enough to believe you'd ask him to. Those papers were drawn up so that Drew might be able to claim the child the two of you share."_

 _Sam glanced down again at the document, skimming the contents for Scout's name. Sure enough, it was there. First paragraph third line._

 _Her head cocked sideways as she processed this new information. Jason had rights to Emily Scout?_

" _I don't understand. Everything Drew signed as Jason is null and void."_

 _Their marriage certificate hadn't transferred over. Why would Scout's birth certificate?_

 _Her mother clasped her hands with a heavy sigh. She'd give anything not to have to tell her daughter this. Especially tonight._

" _The circumstances surrounding Scout's paternity are a bit more complicated."_

 _She moved closer and gestured for Sam to sit. Together they sank down onto the couch cushion. Sam's gaze fell to her hands, where Alexis's still lingered. Whatever the news, it required the pity voice and a sympathetic touch. Both of which set the brunette on edge._

" _In most states, the parents must be married at the time of birth for a father's custodial rights to be established. In Scout's case, her parents were married and her father's name was put on the certificate-"_

 _Sam's dark eyes clouded with confusion. "But we weren't," she corrected, earning a nod of agreement from her mother._

" _Technically you were, and are still married to the father of record."_

 _She paused, allowing this revelation to sink in._

 _At first she just sat there repeating the words over and over; replaying them like the song that never ends. She was married to the father of record? Still, they wouldn't compute. Not mentally. Drew had been the one to hold her hand through the delivery. He'd carried her and their daughter up from that ditch. He had signed the certificate...with Jason's name. Jason was the father of record, and that's who she was married to! On the surface, she was baffled by this information, but somewhere deep inside, she could feel the truth of those words. Even before she'd been told, she'd felt it. The moment she looked up into those bright blue eyes brimming with an intense sincerity and concern, she'd known. This was her husband._

 _Jason was her husband..._

 _Sam felt the balance of her world shift once more with staggering force, as though the floor beneath her was tilted and the room were now as askew as her thoughts. She closed her eyes, but the feeling persisted._

 _Her dark eyes turned to her mother, pleading for her to say, something, anything to make this better. But Alexis just stroked her hand silently with that piercing stare. She was waiting for a reaction._

 _The brunette ran a hand down the center of her hair. It was still atop her head, but looser now. What could she say? What could she do? Drew was out preparing their celebration that very minute. She couldn't stand him up, and even if she wanted to work through the chaos inside her, she wouldn't know where to begin._

 _She squeezed her mom's hand and looked over at her- bright smile and dead eyes._

" _I need to get ready," she said, rising from the couch and taking the box from the desk. She pulled the lid up and stared down at the emerald fabric._

" _It's perfect."_

 _Alexis watched her daughter march numbly up the stairs with the dress in hand. Sam was an expressive person by nature, even more so when it came to Jason. She knew the truth now, and was choosing to ignore it. Which was exactly what her protective mother had been hoping for. Yet, as she sat there alone on the couch, reflecting on those blank eyes, she didn't feel relief. If anything her concern for her eldest had grown._

* * *

 _Jason watched her pace the docks, her long, lean leg, slipping through the slit of her dress. If he closed his eyes, he could remember the feel that leg hiked around his waist, but he wouldn't allow his mind to go there. Nor would he think about thumbing her kissable lips clean of her lipstick, or brushing those stray tendrils of hair from her face. He wasn't there as the man who loved her more than his own life, but as a friend and a brother. Drew had shown great faith in them both by asking him there, and he'd do nothing taint that._

 _Besides, Sam had already made her choice..._

 _His heart sank at the memory of their last conversation. The one where she'd all but asked him to stay away. After five years without them, more distance was the last thing he wanted. But it was what Sam and Danny needed from him, and he was determined to give it, no matter the cost._

 _And so he stepped closer, preparing for what would inevitably be another heartbreak._

 _Sam turned just in time to catch a glimpse of him from the corner of her eye._

 _She flinched- something she had never done with him before, and inwardly groaned. She didn't want to be that woman, the one torn between two brothers. Just the idea felt slimy and wrong. She wanted to love only one man, and be fully committed to that man. But it was difficult when the object of her inconvenient thoughts was standing so tantalizingly close and she now technically had the right to act on those fleeting urges._

' _But I won't!' The inner voice insisted with much more confidence than she actually had._

 _Instinctively, her hands went up._

" _No, no, no, no, no! You can't be here right now."_

 _Jason froze, clearly stung._

 _The pain in his eyes only added to her frustration. As much as she wanted to put her hands down and reach out to him, she couldn't trust herself to do so._

" _I'm sorry." She dropped her defensive stance but took a step back. "I didn't mean," she paused, searching for the right words. "I'm supposed to be meeting Drew, but he's not here. I just-"_

' _Feel like I'm cheating on you right now,' the voice in her head hissed._

 _Jason nodded, seeming to understand._

" _Yeah, I know. He's the reason I'm here."_

 _Her left brow raised skeptically._

" _There was a problem with the boat so he asked me to come keep you company until it's resolved."_

 _It wasn't that she didn't believe him. She did. Jason wouldn't lie and she knew that. But it did sound unbelievable in the sense that Drew, who had asked for a schedule and boundaries, would request Jason's presence alone with- well her._

 _Finally, her hands fell to her sides. Then came up around her elbows as she nibbled in the corner of her lip._

" _So..." Was this exchange as awkward as it felt? "Did Drew happen to mention how long he would be?"_

 _Her gaze unwittingly lowered to his mouth._

 _The blonde gave a subtle shake of the head._

" _He just said there was a delay and he be here as soon as he could." That didn't appear to be the answer she wanted. "I'm sure he's okay. It was probably just a problem with the engine or something."_

 _The corners of her mouth quirked upward for the first time since his arrival._

" _Then he really might be in trouble," she teased, her chocolate orbs shimmering with humor. "He's not much of a mechanic."_

 _Jason shrugged, but couldn't help the smirk of amusement from forming._

 _The soft laughter died as a memory of she and Drew alone in his loft came to mind. Back when the only furniture he owned was Jason's motorcycle and he hadn't had a clue what to do with it. Looking back, it hadn't made sense. Bikes were as familiar to Jason as self-defense or weaponry. He should have known. He would have._

 _Jason shuffled his weight from one foot to the other. He wanted to get closer, to close the gap between them. Instead he rocked in place, fighting his every instinct._

" _Did I do something to upset you?"_

 _She could feel him probing the depths of her soul, searching for a reason behind her strange behavior. And if he kept digging, he was eventually sure to find the cause._

" _It's not you."_

 _That wasn't exactly true._

" _I mean, it is you, but it's not your fault. It's not anything you're doing."_

' _It's just the way you stand there, and the way you look at me, and your lopsided grin that gives me butterflies the size of pterodactyls.'_

 _Jason looked even more confused than when she'd started._

" _I'm sorry," she said again, taking a step forward. "I'm just kind of a mess right now. I feel like I'm stuck on a boat. No sails. No engine. Just me and the elements, completely powerless. And I want to get off, but I can't because I'm surrounded by water. And I try to swim for shore but I keep getting forced back to this tiny raft where I'm helpless..."_

 _Suddenly she stopped, becoming acutely aware of the words coming out of her mouth and the confusion on his face._

" _I'm probably not making any sense," the brunette muttered, hooking a loose spiral behind her ear._

 _Cautiously, he stepped forward, gauging her comfort level. His lips twitched upward when she didn't pull away._

" _No, I think I get it." He scratched his cheek with the opposite hand. "You feel like your life is happening to you instead of you making it happen."_

 _Her dark orbs gleamed with the quiet relief of being understood._

" _Yes! Exactly!" His version was so much simpler. Why couldn't she have just said that rather than word vomiting all over him?_

" _It's like everything I thought I knew, I don't anymore. Like right now, I'm standing here in this gorgeous dress," she motioned to her feminine frame draped in bright green sequins beneath her coat, "and the most uncomfortable shoes I've ever worn, waiting for the man I thought I married to come riding in on some big fancy boat to whisk me away at any moment, and he sends my husband of all people to keep me company!"_

 _Hot, angry tears pooled in her eyes. Knowing the truth and saying it out loud were two different concepts. The second was much more difficult in practice. Voicing their legal union made it real._

" _Because you're my husband, Jason!" Sam cringed, hating how small and pathetic she sounded. "And I should have known that. I knew, the second I realized he wasn't you, I knew our marriage license was meaningless. The next logical step would be that the divorce papers we signed were too, but for some reason I never thought that far."_

 _Maybe she couldn't or hadn't wanted to?_

 _Her shoulders slumped and she studied him with a wrinkled brow._

" _And you don't seem the least bit surprised by this," she noted._

 _The blonde offered a sheepish smile._

" _Well, Diane did mention it was a possibility. I didn't know if you knew or not, and I didn't say anything because-"_

" _You didn't want to pressure me," she echoed the end of his sentence._

 _He chuckled at her ability to read his mind. She was the only one who'd ever found him easy to read, and over time he'd come to appreciate her special brand of telepathy._

 _Jason took another step toward her, reaching out to brush a stray tendril from her face. This time she didn't stop him and neither did he._

" _I know a lot has changed in the time I was gone, but how I feel about you, that hasn't." Tenderly, he ran a finger down her cheek. "There's nothing I wouldn't do for you, and if you want me to let you go," he hesitated briefly, pulling his hand away. "I'll do whatever you want, even if it means giving you a divorce so you can be with my brother."_

 _If she were a lesser woman she might have struck him. Hadn't she just finished saying that she didn't know anything? And now here he was, offering up his heart for her to break!_

" _Is that what you want," she fired back heatedly._

 _He double blinked, taken aback by her question. How could she ask him that?_

" _I just want you to be happy, Sam."_

 _The brunette threw her hands in the air._

" _And you think I know what'll make me happy? I didn't even realize I was marrying a stranger with your name! How am I supposed to know anything right now? I just-" she looked up toward the starry sky as though the answers to the universe were hiding there._

 _Her eyelids fluttered closed as she focused on the peaceful quiet she'd always felt beneath that celestial blanket._

" _I know you're both feeling thrown and you're looking to me for solid ground, but I'm just as lost and scared as you are. I don't know what to do from one minute to the next, and I can't be responsible for your feelings too. You're both grown men. You don't need me to tell you what to want or how to feel, and I don't want that kind of power over anybody. I'm still trying to figure myself out."_

 _He nodded, shoving his hands back into the pockets of his jacket. His fingertips ached to touch her again, to pull her into his arms and offer her his comfort and strength, but that wasn't what she needed so he resisted._

" _I'm sorry if I made this hard for you. That wasn't my intention."_

 _The two locked eyes and he felt that familiar spark. Judging by her expression, she did too._

 _He sighed as her gaze turned to the horizon, and the large, extravagant boat nearing the harbor. Their time together was coming to an end._

" _We don't have to decide anything tonight."_

 _Her cocoa orbs darted back on him, brimming with gratitude. He'd said he'd do anything for her and he meant it, even if he had to wait._

" _Just take care of yourself and the kids, and know if that you need me, for anything, I'm only a call away."_

 _She lifted her index finger, pointing back and forth between them._

" _That goes both ways, you know. Whatever we end up deciding."_

 _Husband, brother in law, stranger that she used to know; it didn't matter. Jason Morgan would always be in her heart and part of her life. And complicated as that might seem, she wouldn't have it any other way._

* * *

 _To say that Drew had outdone himself would be an understatement. Granted, he didn't know much about boats, at least that he could remember, however his heart swelled at the sight of shock and wonder in Sam's eyes as he pulled closer to shore. What had looked like small boat in the distance was actually a large luxury yacht; long and sleek, and fully stocked for a magical New Year's Eve. He stood on the top deck, in his best tailored suit, a blue button down shirt, and the most gleeful grin a grown man could muster._

 _It was the kind of smile that could reduce a woman to putty in his hands, and at the moment it was working._

 _He hopped from deck to dock with schoolboy enthusiasm, clearly proud of his surprise and her reaction to his vision._

 _She smiled as he took her hand and planted a kiss on her fingers. She glanced over her shoulder for Jason, who had stepped back, resuming his rightful place in the shadows._

" _I'm sorry it took so long. I had some engine trouble between Boston and here, apparently it was something called user error?"_

 _He turned his attention to his twin brother on the sidelines._

" _Thanks for helping out. I didn't want her hunting me down and spoiling the big reveal."_

 _She nudged him playfully, both resenting and resembling that remark._

" _You know how she can be."_

 _Of course he does! She was his wife first," his brain shouted._

" _Did that sound like a dig," he asked self-consciously. "Cause I really didn't mean it as one."_

 _Sam stepped in, taking his arm to quiet his nerves._

" _I think we're all still a little uncertain how to behave around each other." Her words were for Drew's benefit, but her eyes were on Jason, and her double meaning came out loud and clear._

 _Drew's entire body relaxed as Jason nodded._

" _All we can do is start from where we are and take it one day at a time," he said before excusing himself and vanishing into the night._

 _Drew clasped a hand over Sam's and led her onto the boat. The chill coming off the water quickly forced them below deck where an extravagant spread was laid out for their dining pleasure._

 _Sitting there as he marveled at her from across the table it was easy to remember why she loved Drew. He was a good man with a good heart, and when he cared about something he put his all into it. Whether the endeavor was business or personal he gave all of himself. He didn't seem to know any other way. Their good days had been filled with laughter, passion, and the unexpected. And when the bad times had come, he's remained by her side, never wavering in his love or loyalty. He was a man any woman would be proud to claim as her own._

 _The trouble was she already belonged to someone else, and her heart didn't know which way to lean._

 _His dopey grin grew even wider as he watched her devour their belated dinner. She was a goddess in couture with chili sauce staining her upper lip._

 _She wiped her hands and face with the napkin before looking up at him through her lashes._

" _You've got a little something there," he said rising from his seat and walking over to her. "Let me help with that."_

 _He took her face in his hands and gently pressed his lips to hers. At first he kissed, then nibbled and sucked, licking her lip clean while taking in her little noises of delight. He was tempted to take her right there on the table. The slit in her dress was certainly high enough. They wouldn't even have to disrobe._

 _Instead he pulled back, desperate for air and perspective. This night was about romance, not seduction, and so he pushed his lustful cravings aside. There would be time for lovemaking at the end of the night. After he slipped that ring on her finger._


	16. Chapter 14

_**A/N: Wow! I am so incredibly humbled by the response I've received on this story. Thank you so much for every single view, follow, fave, review, and recommendation! You guys are seriously beyond generous.**_

 _ **Now for Chapter Fourteen- full of doubts, insults, and secrets. Oh my!**_

 _Drew sat at his desk, the picture of their first wedding staring back at him. He grit his teeth and slammed the portrait down, safe in the comfort no one could hear his tantrum. In anticipation for the holiday and their impending good news, he'd granted their employees a few extra days off at the start of the year. He'd been that confident in her acceptance. Now he sulked alone in an empty office wondering how his plan has nosedived into the dirt._

 _He'd spent a small fortune on the yacht, the dress, the food and champagne, money he didn't have honestly, but he wanted their night to be unforgettable. And it was. It was perfect right up until he got down on one knee and told her he wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. Then she got that look in her eye. The I don't want to hurt you, but I don't want to lie either look, and he knew. She was saying no._

' _She didn't say no. She said it wasn't the right time,' his desperate voice of reason corrected._

 _No. Not now. It all meant the same. She wasn't ready to renew their lifetime commitment to one another. Not now that he was Drew and not Jason._

' _What happened to being the bigger man,' his jealousy snarked._

 _Momentary setback, he assured himself. After all, it wasn't every day a man found out his wife was married to his brother. The fact he'd learned this as a response to his proposal only added insult to injury. Even the best of men would have trouble accepting that reality._

 _His eyes cut to the shadow beneath his office door. Then upward to the handle as it turned._

 _The congratulatory grin on Curtis's face instantly fell at the sight of Drew, shrouded in darkness, the only light shed on his blank expression and the facedown photograph._

" _You don't look so good," he said, stating the obvious._

 _The blonde's mouth twitched, finding humor in the blunt delivery._

" _I don't feel so good either."_

 _He watched as the one true friend he had in the world pulled up a chair, spun it around and straddled it backwards, placing the files he'd brought with him on the edge of the desk._

" _I take it New Year's wasn't everything you hoped?"_

 _Drew chuckled darkly._

" _If by not what I hoped you mean my wife is legally married to another man and shows no sign of wanting to marry me again, then yeah, I guess you could say that."_

 _Curtis was clearly shocked by his information overload. After all, he'd only known Drew and Sam as the blissfully wed couple they'd been a year ago. He knew nothing of Jason Morgan or his hold on Sam McCall. From where he stood, Jason was simply an obstacle to overcome._

 _His brow wrinkled with concern._

" _Okay," he said, gesturing with his hands. "Let's just back up and start from the beginning. Now, what happened?"_

 _Heavy lids fluttered down over his tortured blue eyes. He understood that Curtis was only trying to make sense of the situation so that he might help. Still, reliving that night was painful and humiliating, and not something he was looking forward to._

" _Alright," he sighed, scrubbing his prickly jaw. "Well, I was running behind so I asked Jason to distract her til I got there."_

 _A knowing glance passed between the two men._

" _Well, that was your first mistake," he teased only half-jokingly. What kind of fool invited the competition to a private game?_

 _The blonde straightened his spine defensively._

" _I wanted to show her I trust her," he argued. "I've spent weeks making an ass of myself. I needed her to know that's not the guy she'd be saying yes to."_

 _Curtis shrugged in agreement. Drew was his dude, but he couldn't deny the presence of this mysterious twin had brought out his worst qualities, especially where Sam was concerned._

" _So you showed up," he prompted._

" _And at first everything seemed to be going according to plan. Sam was speechless," the corners of his mouth quirked upward in the first genuine smile since his friend's arrival. "And gorgeous. We were having a great time." He reconsidered that claim. "At least, I thought we were."_

 _Confusion clouded both their features._

" _She wasn't," Curtis asked, seeking clarification._

 _The blonde's gaze drifted back to the mocking photo once more. He'd thought the night was going perfectly. Her eyes shimmered in the candlelight, free of trouble. And her laughter rang like a bell through the air. For the first time since the truth had come out, he'd felt it was just the two of them, free of his brother's existence hanging overhead. And maybe they had been...until he decided to press his luck._

" _She was...as long as we weren't talking or thinking about our situation, but, of course, I kinda blew that all to hell with my proposal." He leaned up, fingering the edges of the frame. "That's when she told me they're still married. Not that I should be surprised," he grumbled. "I know exactly what happens when Jason Morgan comes back from the dead. I've lived it."_

 _He looked up with defeat in his eyes. "Maybe I should just let her go..."_

 _His hand sunk to the bottom drawer, from which he removed some plastic cups and a bottle of scotch. Did he even like scotch as Andrew Cain?_

 _He poured the cups halfway full and offered one to his companion. Curtis nodded, accepting the cup, but Drew noticed he never took so much as a swig. The displaced family man, on the other hand, downed his in seconds._

 _His friend cocked a brow in disbelief. Rarely had he seen the former SEAL drink, and never would he have imagined hearing the man ready to walk away from Sam._

" _No offense, but that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say, and I was there when you decided to ride a bomb to the top floor of the hospital."_

 _He couldn't help but crack a smile at the memory. The man was crazy and honorable to the point of self-destruction, but that was part of what had brought them together, and probably why his entire naval file was blacked out._

 _Drew chuckled again, this time with humor._

" _Yeah, That wasn't exactly my brightest moment," he agreed._

 _The investigator shrugged. "Maybe not, but you sure did save a lot of lives that day."_

 _The blonde leaned back in his chair, reliving the memory of Sam running into his arms afterward. She'd clung to him so tightly he feared they might freeze together. Not that he'd have minded._

 _His thoughts snapped back to the present and the man sitting across from him. He raised the cup to his friend and their unlikely bond._

" _It would've been a lonely ride without you man."_

 _The two clinked cups in respect for one another._

" _Now, I know you didn't ask for a brotha's opinion but I'm gon' give it anyway. If you're thinking of walking away because you feel it's the right thing or it's what you and your family need, I'll be the first to back you up." Even with the cup in his hand he was still able to point across the desk. "But if you're walking away because you're scared you can't measure up to this twin of yours, that's just stupid!"_

 _Drew shook his head with a frown._

" _You don't know my brother. You don't know his history with Sam."_

 _Determination flared in Curtis's eyes._

" _I don't need to know him. I know you. I know your history with Sam! Man, in the year I've known ya'll I've watched you prepare for a baby, battle some brain disease, and will one another back from the grave more than once. And you're gonna dismiss all that for a name?"_

 _It did sound foolish when put in that context._

" _Man, Sam knows who you are and she loves you enough to stand by you. Don't you think you owe her the same?"_

 _It was true, they had been through a lot together. Even more than Curtis knew. And she had remained by his side throughout their latest ordeal. She hadn't left him or asked him to leave. In fact, they were moving out of the penthouse together. Just like they were running Aurora together. And had rung in the new year together. Obviously, a yes to his proposal would have been ideal, but she had just learned of her marriage to Jason that same night. She also didn't have all the knowledge he possessed about their situation._

" _You're right," he conceded. "I'm being an idiot. I let her and Jason get in my head."_

 _Both knew that was an understatement and snickered at his choice of words._

" _Sorry, bad joke," he said with a deprecating grin._

 _Curtis nodded with a smirk of amusement before seriousness colored his features._

" _Have you told her what Andre said yet?"_

 _The heavy sigh confirmed his suspicions._

" _You mean that we have no idea what another procedure would do to my brain? You know, somehow that hasn't come up."_

' _It would if you'd bring it up," the voice of reason chided._

" _Sam's got enough on her plate without worrying about me right now. And she might not have to. If this works."_

 _He reached for the file at the end of the desk. In all his self-pity he'd almost forgotten the true cause of their meeting._

 _The blonde thumbed through the file, scanning its contents._

" _Thanks for doing this," he gestured to the file in hand._

 _Curtis nodded. "Not a problem. If I was about to let someone go digging around in my head, I'd want to know everything about him too."_

* * *

 _Samantha Morgan hovered outside the doors of General Hospital, peeking in for a view of the nurse's desk._

 _She inwardly cursed as the image of Elizabeth typing on the computer became clear, along with Epiphany standing mere inches away. It was difficult enough, humbling herself to seek the advice of a woman who'd plotted against her on more than one occasion. But now she'd have to do so in front of the frightening head nurse, who had very little tolerance for such nonsense. To make matters even worse, the subject she'd come to discuss was a rather thorny one between them._

 _How exactly was she supposed to do this?_

 _She stepped back from the door with a twist of her head._

" _Nope, nuh-uh, can't do it," she muttered beneath her breath, but her brain wouldn't allow her to leave._

' _You know what they say about desperate times, desperate measures' it nagged._

" _Yeah, well I'm not_ _that_ _desperate," she shot back, realizing too late she'd done so out loud._

 _She probably looked like an escapee from the psych ward outside mumbling to herself._

' _Actually, you are.'_

 _The brunette whimpered and stomped her feet in the snow. She really didn't want to do this. Unfortunately, she didn't have a choice. So she marched straight into the hospital and up to the nurse's desk, and though she was not a praying woman, she might have inwardly begged for some patience to help the conversation along._

 _Elizabeth now had her head in a file. Either that or she was deliberately ignoring Sam's presence. But since she was on the payroll and it was her job to help people, she decided to give Nurse Webber the benefit of the doubt._

 _This time._

 _Epiphany cleared her throat, provoking Liz to lift her gaze. Her cerulean eyes went wide and she nearly dropped the patient file, clearly embarrassed by the situation._

" _Sam," she shouted a little louder than necessary out of shock. "How long have you been standing there? I mean, what can I do to help you?"_

 _The brunette had to pinch her lips together to avoid smiling at her former rival's flustered state._

" _Actually, I'm here to see you," she confessed with a tilt of her head. "I was hoping I could have just a minute of your time?"_

 _And what precisely was her incentive to do so? They weren't what anyone would call friends, even under the loosest of definitions. The closest affiliation they had was their children, fathered by the same man, and she was not about to touch that land mine with a fifty foot poll._

" _I'll buy you a bad cup of coffee."_

' _Yeah, cause that'll really sweeten the deal!'_

 _How she wished the voices in her head would cease. This was difficult enough without her own mental commentary._

 _Epiphany peered over with a disapproving scowl._

" _Now Sam, you know I like you, but I can't have you up in here distracting my staff." Her reprimand was kind but also straight to the point._

 _To Sam's surprise, and possibly her boss's as well, Elizabeth stepped in on her behalf._

" _I asked Sam to come. I needed to talk to her about family stuff, you know with the boys and their father."_

 _The boys, of course. That was Liz's favorite excuse. Right up there with I had nowhere else to go and the tumor made him do it. Still, the assist wasn't unappreciated._

" _I have a break coming up," she reminded, her voice hopeful._

 _Epiphany huffed, motioning another nurse over to man the desk. She pointed to both Liz and Sam, staring them down._

" _Fifteen minutes, ladies."_

 _Nurse Webber slid gratefully from behind the desk with a smirk of amusement. She was used to Epiphany's thinly veiled threats and had learned to take them in stride._

* * *

 _It wasn't long after Elizabeth and Sam disappeared that her fiancé entered the building with a triumphant grin and the best coffee in town that money could buy._

 _The corners of his mouth faltered as he took note of the blonde behind the help desk._

" _Excuse me," he called out to Epiphany, who shot him a look that made his blood run cold. "Where's Elizabeth? I have a surprise for her." He held up the bag and beverage tray as though they were spoils of war._

 _The head nurse wasn't impressed._

" _She's on break with Sam Morgan."_

 _His eyes went wide and his heart pounded a little faster._

" _That doesn't make any sense," mumbled more to himself than any audience. "What would Elizabeth want with her?"_

 _Try as he might he couldn't keep the edge out of his voice. Not when it came to that woman. Ironically, it was she who had drawn him back to Port Charles. Her and all of Jason Morgan's other mourners. He'd needed to be close to them, to feed off their grief and their anger. But then Jason's son had gotten sick and the dastardly villain's tumor had been discovered._

 _Suddenly the con he'd crafted to avoid blame and prosecution might be true. He'd never wanted to be redeemed, never sought forgiveness, but after the operation he'd found himself wanting to believe the doctors and judges had it right._

 _But seeing Sam, being near her, listening to her venomous accusations threatened everything he'd worked for. Drew had tempered her grudge, but Jason's return stoked it back to life._

" _I think I'll just wait, if that's alright."_

 _The infamous head nurse shrugged dismissively, unaware of the dark spiral his thoughts had taken._

 _If Jason Morgan wasn't his undoing, Sam would be. She wasn't willing to bury the hatchet unless it was in his throat._

* * *

 _At first, the two woman walked the corridors in awkward silence. Their time was quickly draining, and try as she might, Sam didn't know how to break the ice. Sure, she could blurt out something like 'hey, remember that time you tried to marry my husband, who wasn't really my husband, but then we thought he was, but he's really not,' however, she might interpret that type of candor as derogatory and it hardly seemed wise to insult someone she was about to ask a favor from._

 _Once again, it was Elizabeth spoke up first._

" _So, I'm assuming you wanted to talk about Jason or the boys." She tucked her hair back behind an ear and glanced over toward Sam._

 _That would be the obvious common denominator, but not this time. There was now another man they had shared._

 _Her stomach lurched at the unbidden connection._

" _Drew actually," she corrected._

' _Just rip it off like a bad aid...'_

 _Sam tossed her head back and heaved in frustration. She had to get the words out of her mouth, but damn, was she struggling to open that Pandora's box!_

" _I kind of need to ask about," she paused motioning her hands in miniature circles, "when the two of you were together?" Why did that sound like a question? It was a statement of fact. "You know, when he was Jake Doe?" Again, not a question._

 _Liz froze mid-step, rallying her defenses in record time. She glowered shamelessly at the brunette, her porcelain cheeks sucked inward._

" _That was four years ago. Why would you even bring it up," she snapped heatedly._

 _Sam steepled her hands, fighting back a sneer._

" _I'm just looking for information, that's all."_

 _Elizabeth continued to glare with a sour expression, but at least she wasn't objecting._

" _Like...I know you had some trouble accepting his proposal, so I'm thinking that was probably his idea, right?"_

 _The nurse lifted a brow sarcastically, her blue orbs twinkling with malice._

" _Well, I didn't put a gun to his head if that's what you're suggesting."_

 _The raven haired beauty forced a smile, an art she'd perfected over the last few months._

" _No, of course not." You just held what you thought was his identity ransom from the rest of us so you could have Jason all to yourself._

" _But you were the one to initiate the relationship correct? The night of the Nurse's ball," she probed carefully._

 _God! Where was that patience she prayed for? Was there some type of priority shipping for virtues she needed to know about?_

" _He wanted to be with me long before that. In fact, his first memory was of me, which is curious since Jason was married to you at the time."_

' _That's it! I'm gonna get kicked out of GH for breaking her perfect, slender nose and then I'll die of infection after I get shot and they file a restraining order!' But wouldn't it be worth the slow painful death to wipe that smug expression from her face?_

 _Even her conscience was grappling for a downside when Liz offered her an unexpected opening._

" _I thought we were past all this," she snarled._

" _We are," Sam insisted, determined not to let their bad blood prevent her from getting what she came for. "I'm just trying to figure out where his head was at the time."_

 _Elizabeth seemed almost...disappointed in her reaction._

" _Like you mentioned his first memory, did he have a lot of those early on? Did he show interest in them or learning about who he was?"_

 _All animosity evaporated from her delicate features as she took on a more pensive expression._

" _Well yeah, when he first woke up it was all he could talk about. But then the fingerprints weren't a match and the missing poster went unanswered. The memories were few and far between, mostly they just frustrated him."_

 _Sam nodded, "so you think he got discouraged?"_

 _Liz folded her arms and shrugged._

" _Honestly, I think he got comfortable. He liked his life as Jake Doe and the more we connected the less interest he showed in learning about himself. Occasionally, he'd mention it, but it always seemed more like something he thought he should do. His heart wasn't in it."_

' _And of course you discouraged any interest he did have,' her inner bitch quipped._

 _She wrinkled her brow, feigning curiosity._

" _Do you have any idea why he didn't want to?"_

 _Elizabeth's gaze darted back toward the emergency room. Either she was uncomfortable with the question or concerned about the time._

" _I think he got it in his head somehow he was better off not knowing. That way he could be whoever he wanted and didn't have to feel so alone."_

 _She said that so innocently, as though she'd had no part in planting those seeds, but Sam knew better, and that they'd taken deep root in Drew's psyche. He'd looked her in the eye and told her as much when Jason's memories came flooding back to him._

" _I have no idea if that helps or not but-" she began, eager to change the subject._

" _It does", the brunette assured. Better to end the conversation on positive note. Their children were brothers after all._

" _Good, I'm glad," she replied, her gaze focused on Sam with that false sincerity she wore so well._

" _I know I'm no relationship expert, but if you really want to know what your husband is thinking why don't you just ask him?" Sam had barely opened her mouth when Liz continued with arguably the most condescending "observation" she could manage._

" _Oh, that's right. Because Jason is home and you don't want to seem like you're taking sides. Not that I'm judging," though it sure sounded like she was. "I was almost in your position."_

 _Sam grinned sadistically, knowing her next sentence would knock the nurse off her high horse and back on her ass where she belonged._

" _Well, not my exact position," she reminded, wiggling the hand with her Quartermaine legacy ring._

 _Elizabeth tensed, a visible flush in her cheeks._

" _Yes, well at least we won't have to worry about history repeating itself since you're happily married with Drew and I'm engaged to Franco."_

 _Sam held her grin of satisfaction. If only Elizabeth knew..._

" _Thank goodness for that," She laid her left hand gently on the nurse's arm, "and thank you for having this talk with me. It was very educational." She then walked away, leaving Liz both unsettled and stunned._

* * *

 _She'd just turned the corner when a loud squeal sounded from several feet away, along with Sam's name. Before she could process the source, Emma had tackled her in an enthusiastic embrace. Instinctively, her hands reached down to caress the little girl who...wasn't so little anymore._

 _It was only then she looked up to see Robin running up behind her daughter, breathless from the jog._

" _What did I say about waiting for me," she reprimanded with loving swat on the girl's back._

 _Emma's rueful pout worked it's magic on both women._

" _I'm sorry mom. I got overexcited."_

 _Sam's chocolate orbs went wide as she looked down lovingly on the child who had almost been her step-daughter._

" _Wow! That's quite a vocabulary you've got there."_

 _Emma released her waist and smiled proudly._

" _I am my mother's daughter," she bragged and Sam giggled._

" _Yes, you are, and so grown up!"_

 _Robin played with the ends of her daughter's hair. "It goes by so fast, doesn't it?"_

" _Is Danny with you," Emma interrupted hopefully._

 _The two children had formed a special bond in their time together. Consequently, she thought of him often and fondly, not quite the same way she thought of her baby brother, but more affectionate than just a friend._

 _Sam shook her head._

" _I'm sorry sweetie. If I'd known you were here, I'd have brought him with me."_

 _Robin stepped closer, the spark of an idea in her eyes._

" _I have plans this afternoon, but Emma will be over at my mom's. You and Danny should come by and visit."_

 _Emma's face lit up at her mother's proposition. "Please Sam?"_

 _She really shouldn't. There were housing options to comb through, contracts to go over. Not to mention, a, what was Drew to her if not a husband?_

' _A brother in law.'_

 _Other than that?_

' _Scout's father. Danny's uncle. Jason's brother.'_

 _But who was he_ _to her?_ _She didn't know how to answer that. Who was Andrew Cain to her?_

 _He was the father of her child; the man who had refused to leave her bleeding under the bridge because he couldn't live without her. He'd saved her from the Webber basement and nursed her back to health with some pretty intense kisses. He was her hand to hold in the hard times and the man she had promised forever and beyond to. Did a name change any of that? No. Jason or Drew, he was still the same man she had fallen in love with._

' _Then why you keep circling around that question?'_

 _Because he was both men she had fallen in love with. His heart was his own, but his head was all Jason. It was Jason's memories that had stilled Drew's hand against her and Patrick when he'd first escaped from Creighton Clark._

 _Creighton Clark...the Cassadine's very own secret laboratory._

 _Like dominoes, her thoughts aligned and fell in rapid succession._

" _You know what? Danny and I would love that," Sam grinned, her eyes sparkling with mischief._

 _And while Danny was playing with Emma, Sam could put her curiosity to rest once and for all._


	17. Chapter 15

_**A/N: As always, I begin this chapter with a heartfelt thank you to everyone viewing, following, favoriting, and reviewing this story! Your love and loyalty for this project are a huge inspiration that contributes to my efforts. Hearing your thoughts and sharing my love for this show and these characters with you is a pleasure I always look forward to.**_

 _ **I did notice the last chapter was received with less enthusiasm, understandable since there were no Jasam scenes, and the introduction of two polarizing characters into the story. I realize Franco and Liz are the kind of characters people either love or loathe. Rarely, do you find someone who's in the middle regarding them. And that's okay! I realize they might not be your favorites (or they may be) but I promise they do serve a purpose in this story and if you will trust me and stick it out, I do believe whether you want redemption or comeuppance for these two, you will be able to appreciate where it's all going.**_

 _ **All of that being said, thank you for your interest, your patience, and welcome to chapter Fifteen!**_

' _This wasn't supposed to happen,' she griped inwardly, battling the voices in her head once more._

 _ **You wanted to know,**_ _the voice shouted back._

 _She fingered the portable hard drive in her pocket. This small device in her coat could change everything. For her. For Jason and Drew. And the kids...everyone. And she'd been sitting on it for two days like a ticking time bomb._

' _Yeah, but I wasn't supposed to actually_ find _anything!'_

 _ **Doesn't matter. You did. And now you have a choice to make.**_

 _The brunette rubbed her forehead, hoping to erase that knowledge from her mind but it wouldn't budge._

" _Hey gorgeous," she leapt at the sound of his greeting and rubbed her forehead again. His confident grin faltered as he sauntered closer._

" _Getting a headache?"_

 _She looked up into two shimmering pools of concern staring at her from across the room._

" _It's probably just where I skipped breakfast," she said, massaging her temples._

 _ **If you'd stop fighting me you might stop hurting.**_

 _She lowered her head and sneered at the voice._

' _No, then I'd just be hurting others,' she quipped back._

 _He leaned over the desk, raising her chin and kissing her forehead._

" _Does that help any," he asked, earning a strained giggle and a shake of the head._

" _I wish that's all it took, but sadly no," she pouted, pointing to her head. "It's still there."_

 _ **And I'm not going anywhere until you face this.**_

 _She closed her eyes and sighed. Why did_ this _part of her have to be so damn stubborn? People_ _could change. She_ needed _to change. Why was she making it so hard on herself?_

 _Drew took her hand and stroked it tenderly._

" _Why don't you take the rest of the day?"_

 _Her eyebrow kinked upward skeptically._

" _Because we took too many days off and now we're swamped?"_

 _She wasn't wrong. The extra days out of the office had seemed like a nice treat for themselves and a good way to earn favor with employees. However, the world of media never slept. Headlines had come and gone and now the competition had a three day start._

 _He planted a kiss on her knuckles. Then her lips._

" _Sam, the break was my idea. I can handle the consequences."_

" _And I can help," she shot back defiantly._

 _The concern in his eyes hardened into determination._

" _The best way you can help me is by taking care of yourself. You're dealing with so much and pushing yourself so hard. Your body is telling you to slow down, baby, and I think you should listen."_

 _ **Listening isn't her strong suit these days.**_

' _Maybe if you stopped giving bad advice I might start taking it.'_

" _Besides," he swatted her gently. "You're no help to me in this condition." He punctuated his joke with an affectionate smile._

 _Her cocoa orbs softened with gratitude, but behind it were still the embers of conflict._

" _You're not gonna let this go, are you?"_

 _He grinned impishly._

" _Not until you're home, fed, and getting some much needed rest," he confirmed._

 _Sam brushed her dark waves back from her face and shrugged._

" _Okay, I guess I'm going home then," she conceded, resting her head in her hand._

' _Are_ you _listening,' she challenged her mental tormentor. 'Do you hear how much he loves me? How concerned he is for my wellbeing? You want me to betray that for a hunch?!'_

 _ **I want you to do what you know is right!**_

 _Drew picked up her coat and held out for her to slip into. She placed both arms in their respective holes and turned to face him. He held up the rest of her belongings for her to take._

" _Is there a reason you're so eager to get rid of me," she teased._

 _The blonde reeled back as though he'd been struck by her playful accusation._

 _ **Now, that's interesting.**_

' _Shut up!'_

" _I'm just trying to take care of you Sam. Why won't you let me?"_

 _Her mouth fell open and she struggled to find words. He sounded genuinely offended, angry even._

 _ **Defensive maybe?**_

' _I told you to shut up!'_

" _I'm not trying to be difficult, Drew. I just feel like I'm abandoning you here when we're supposed to be doing this together. I know how much this company means to you and for our family. I don't want to be the reason you lose it."_

 _ **He attacked you and you're the one apologizing right now?**_

' _I'm ignoring you.'_

 _ **Well, that much is obvious.**_

 _The tension melted between them instantly as he took her in his arms._

" _Nothing is more important to me than you and our kids, and right now, you're the one I'm worried about. Not Aurora."_

 _They shared one last kiss before he watched her exit the office, already drowning in his guilt. He settled down in the chair behind the desk, eager for a distraction._

' _I'm doing the right thing,' he chanted to himself repeatedly, but he no matter how many times he thought it, he couldn't get past the bitterness of lying to his wife._

 _Meanwhile, Sam went home where her struggle continued. She tried eating. She tried sleeping. She tried everything. Still, the voice persisted._

 _ **You know there's only one way to get rid of me,**_ _it jeered._

 _The brunette rolled over, placing the pillow over her head but the cushion couldn't drown out what was inside._

' _Drew and I agreed the best way to protect our family was to stay out of it,' she snapped impatiently._

 _ **But do**_ **you** _ **believe that?**_

 _She tossed again, this time nearly rolling off the couch._

' _This happened to all of us. Whether we like it or not, we're in already in it.'_

 _ **So isn't it better then, to be involved, to be informed?**_

 _Sam groaned at herself._

' _Well, yeah, but-'_

 _She bolted upright, mid thought, and reached for her coat and keys._

 _But nothing! Choosing ignorance wouldn't keep the threats at bay. It would only endanger those she loved._

* * *

J _ason paced the confines of Sonny's office, retracing the clues of the case._

" _Let's go over it again," he urged the genius behind the desk, who while incredibly sympathetic to his mentor's plight, and morally outraged on his behalf, had grown weary of the constant drillings of redundant information._

" _I really don't think that's necessary," he objected, but the enforcer was in no mood for objections._

" _Then just humor me, Spinelli," he barked pointing to his chest with both hands. "There has to be more- something we're missing."_

 _The hard lines of his face fell to soft edges._

" _I'm sorry. I shouldn't yell at you. I just- can we please go over it again?"_

 _His faithful friend nodded, accepting the apology._

" _Okay, Andrew Cain went missing summer of 2012. That same year Faison was in Port Charles impersonating Duke Lavery. He infiltrated the business, got caught by the late Bernie Sanders," he grimaced as the name crossed his lips. "He then shot you, presumingly to cover his tracks, and kicked you into the harbor where you were fished out and sent to Russia. Andrew Cain then resurfaced in Port Charles, with no knowledge of his own identity or yours." He took a deep breath, "You then resurfaced in Port Charles at the end of this year."_

 _Jason was pacing again._

" _After escaping from Dr. Kline and his men," he added, though Spin couldn't imagine that tidbit any more helpful than his rapid fire regurgitation._

" _That is correct."_

 _The blonde shook his head._

" _We're still missing something." He turned back to face the younger man who slumped in his chair._

" _Well, if Faison was here in Port Charles, he couldn't have been responsible for abducting your twin in a separate location, at least not directly."_

 _He wasn't sure if that was helpful or not, but he hoped._

 _The pacing ceased._

" _He'd have had to have a partner, and since Helena had control over Drew, it makes sense it was her."_

 _Spinelli shrugged, his brows scrunched in confusion._

" _But your brother's a certified Navy SEAL. How could she have possibly overpowered him? Even with her minions, he wouldn't go down easily."_

" _Not if she had the WSB at her disposal," her voice cut through the air, provoking both sets of eyes to leap to the source._

 _In the doorway stood a short, attractive brunette with wavy bed head, and lounge wear to match._

 _Jason's expression held the slightest hint of amusement mixed with curiosity as she held up the memory device with a radiant smile._

" _Honestly, I don't know why I didn't think of it sooner," she said, charging into the center of the room._

 _ **Because you were being stubborn.**_

 _The two men shared a puzzled look as she growled to herself._

' _I did what you wanted. Why are you still here? You know what? Nevermind. I don't care. No one controls my thoughts but me and I say you're done contributing to this conversation. Got it?!'_

 _She waited a second or two, then breathed a sigh of relief._

" _I'm afraid I still don't understand your original statement fair Samantha."_

 _Her gaze shifted over to Jason expectantly, who for once, seemed equally lost._

" _Why would the WSB help Helena kidnap Drew?"_

 _She stepped closer, still smiling._

" _Because Victor Cassadine was running it at the time, remember?" She gestured to Spinelli. He had still been in Portland at the time, but she thought he'd at least have heard through Maxie about her time in Creighton Clark._

" _Okay, well he was, and they had this secret lab like an hour away from here. It's where Drew escaped from with Robin. Nina recovered from her coma there. It came up a few different times in cases I worked on. We're talking top secret, high tech facility. It's probably where the brain mapping procedure happened."_

 _Jason nodded, his wheels turning._

" _Okay, I'm with you so far. You said it's an hour away?"_

 _Her beautiful smile quickly vanished._

" _Yeah, I mean, it was. But it's gone now. It exploded the night they escaped."_

 _Spinelli raised his hand, and waited to be called on while Sam and Jason fell back into their natural investigative rhythm._

" _Pardon me, but what does any of this have to do with that hard drive in your hand?"_

 _In all her excitement, she'd nearly forgotten._

" _It's filled with WSB ghost files." She handed the gadget to Spinelli for him to work his magic on while she explained._

" _Apparently, after Victor was killed in the explosion, the WSB got a new director and ran an investigation of all Victor's missions and projects. Now a lot of it was under the table of course, so not much came of it, but I thought if we comb through those files and work their case backwards we might be able to dig up a lead on Faison or at least learn something about the swap."_

 _She turned to Jason, her dark eyes shining. "What do you think?"_

 _Jason nodded again, this time with a smile._

" _I think it's worth a shot. Spinelli can you get into those?"_

 _The jackal puffed up, masterfully typing away code on his keyboard._

" _I will admit the encryption is a bit tricky, but nothing the ace of cyberspace cannot conquer._

 _Jason's eyes were once again on Sam as she stepped behind the desk to watch Spinelli work. She slipped off her coat, revealing her oversized sweater that only covered one shoulder and black yoga leggings._

 _Her gaze lifted from the screen to meet his, an undeniable warmth flooding her veins._

" _Nice outfit, by the way," he said, taking the opportunity to soak her image in from head to toe._

 _She looked down at herself and blushed._

 _She'd forgotten that too._

 _ **How long are you gonna pretend you don't want him?**_

' _You're still here?! How long are we gonna do this?'_

 _ **That's up to you. I already told you how to get rid of me.**_

 _She nibbled on her lip and looked up again, only to find Jason's gaze had never left her._

 _ **All you have to do is stop fighting.**_

* * *

 _Kevin flipped through the pages of his appointment book, clearly agitated. He then turned his gaze to the clock on the wall. 4:07pm._

 _He was supposed to be there seven minutes ago._

 _The doctor unsnapped the button on his sleeve, then the other. Carefully, he rolled them up toward his elbows. The menial task provided an outlet for his nervous energy, idle hands and all. Had he known this particular client would bring such trouble with him, he might have declined his services. But how could he have known that?_

 _What would happen if he didn't come?_

 _He had just fallen to prey to his mind's imagination when there was a knock at the door._

" _Dr. Collins, right?"_

 _The man at his door certainly didn't appear threatening in his tailored suit and jacket. He was tall, toned, definitely appeared capable of defending himself, but there was no evil in his eyes. Only sadness and tenacity._

 _He extended his hand for the other to shake._

" _And you must be Andrew Cain."_

 _Drew eyed him suspiciously, almost certain he'd secured the appointment under his, well the name he was told was his chosen nickname._

" _I go by Drew," he corrected._

 _Kevin nodded, kicking himself for such an obvious slip. "Right, Drew. Well, I see you had no problem finding the office this time."_

' _This time?' The blonde's eyebrows knit curiously. And then he remembered._

 _He released the doctor's hand, who motioned for him to have a seat._

" _Yeah, I didn't actually stand you up that day. Helena was waiting in your office with orders to kill my wife, and I was conditioned to take her orders so..."_

 _He let the statement hang in the air, gauging the shrink's expression. To his credit, he hid any shock or horror that confession would have inspired._

" _But you didn't." It was common knowledge Sam Morgan was still breathing._

 _Drew sank down in the chair, hands on his knees. "Uh, no. Thankfully, I couldn't go through with it."_

 _He twisted the ring on his finger._

" _I thought it was because we were in love and I just couldn't remember. Now...I'm not sure what sure what stopped me. I'm just glad something did."_

 _He leaned forward as Kevin nodded._

" _I'm sorry, you just seem really calm about this whole thing. Like I just told you Helena brain washed me into almost murdering the love of my life and you didn't even flinch. That seems odd to me."_

 _Kevin stopped scribbling and laid his pen down._

" _Well, you'd be hard-pressed to find anyone in this town who hasn't been a victim of the Cassadines at one point or another. My fiancé, in particular, has a sordid history with them. Between her stories and my work as a psychologist, I'm well versed in their treachery and its aftermath." He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "But it seems like you're over the worst of it. You got the microchip removed. You're no longer under anyone's control."_

 _Drew scoffed and rubbed his jawline._

" _Well, that's a matter of opinion. Just because I'm not brainwashed anymore doesn't make my life my own."_

 _His eyes were darker now- hostile._

 _The older gentleman squirmed once more._

" _That's what you're doing here, isn't it?" He laid the pen and pad down on his lap. "You want to take back," he gestured with his hands as though he were physically pulling something back toward himself, "that control. Your memories are an excellent place to start."_

 _The blonde scooted to the edge of his cushion and raised his hand in protest._

" _I'm sorry to interrupt, but I think there's been a misunderstanding. I'm not here to recover my memories. I can't. They aren't there anymore. They were surgically removed or something."_

 _The doctor couldn't help but show his befuddlement at that claim._

" _I didn't realize they could do that."_

 _Drew shook his head and chuckled. It wasn't evil, but it wasn't good humored either._

" _Yeah, me neither. But they can, and they did. They actually put someone else's in there instead."_

 _He pointed to the side of his head._

" _Which is why I'm here. I want to know if there's a way to suppress this other person's memories from my own."_

 _Kevin's brows rose to knit with his hairline. Slowly, they fell as expression became curious._

" _It's an interesting thought. I don't know if it could actually be done though. Even the most deeply buried secrets have a way of coming to light."_

' _Secrets like deliberately sabotaging the care of a patient, for example_ ,' _his conscience sniped, but he pushed it down. He'd reconcile with it later, when this was all over._

" _I'm afraid I wouldn't be much help, but I could refer you to someone who might be more well suited to your request."_

 _He pretended to write the name down on a clean sheet of paper, and ripped it free, handing it off as previously ordered._

 _Drew stared at the name on the paper._

" _I don't know, I mean, I'm sure they're great, whoever they are, but I'd prefer someone I know."_

' _Someone I've already researched.'_

 _Kevin leaned closer, ready to do whatever it took to sell this stranger to the man in front of him._

" _I understand, truly I do. But I think what you have to ask yourself is what's more important here. You're comfort level? Or results? Because this woman," he tapped on the paper, "is your best chance at the outcome you're seeking. She's talented, she's brilliant, and her method's fit your needs."_

 _He was trying too hard. He needed to step back from the sale._

" _I can keep seeing you if that's what you want. But I can't guarantee the progress you're hoping for."_

 _Drew contemplated his words, looking down at the name again. He folded the paper in half and stuck t in his wallet._

" _I'll uh, think about it and let you know." He rose from the chair and shook the doctor's hand one more time._

" _I look forward to hearing what you decide," he said, returning the gesture._

' _You have no idea how much,' he thought as he watched him walk away._

* * *

 _After spending what was supposed to be her day of relaxation fighting with herself, Sam had finally passed out on the couch. Which was exactly where Drew found her when he came home that evening. He sat down next to her sleeping form, his fingers itching to brush her hair back from her face. But he couldn't bring himself to do it. That was something she shared with Jason, something he didn't want to remind her of or be compared to._

 _Instead he caressed her cheek, and her eyelids fluttered open at his touch._

 _She looked up at him with dark, slumberous eyes, a lazy smile tugging at her lips._

" _Hey there sleeping beauty," he greeted with a hesitant grin. "How's your head?"_

 _The brunette eased her back up to the arm of the couch, bending her knees and readjusting her blanket._

" _Honestly?" She nibbled on her thumbnail while he watched on baited breath. "Kind of a mess. I spent most the day thinking about..." she tossed her head black with a frustrated sigh. "Everything."_

 _He picked up her legs, and placed them over his lap, so that she was somewhat on top of him._

" _I've been trying not to," she confessed, as though he hadn't already known. "Think, I mean. It's why I'm not sleeping or eating and keeping myself busy pretty much every second of the day. So I don't have to think about Jason being held against his will while we were falling in love, or how if I'd kept looking for him like I wanted, I wouldn't even know you...but today I let go of that control for just a second..." She sniffled as her hands illustrated letting go._

 _He fought to swallow the lump forming in his throat. "And how did that feel?"_

 _She shrugged, teary-eyed._

" _Like drowning in shallow water," she guessed, not sure how else to describe the panic and despair that had come crashing down on her earlier that afternoon._

" _I keep telling myself I don't have to swim. I just have to stand up, but it's like I can't."_

 _She wasn't making any sense. She knew that. How else could she say it?_

" _Ever since the truth came out, I feel like everybody is watching me, waiting for a reaction, a decision. You or Jason? Jason or you! They keep trying to tell me what I want or what they think I should want. Except you and Jason. You're the exact opposite. You both keep asking me what I want, all the time, because neither of you wants to be an obligation. You just want me to be happy."_

 _Sam laughed at her own private joke that only the wicked voice in her head would understand._

 _Drew listened, his chest tightening with each word. He hated being lumped in with his brother on anything. He hated being the source of her pain._

" _I'm sorry you're feeling so much pressure, Sam. And if I've added to that in any way, I never meant to."_

 _She wiped at at her cheeks and placed her hand over his._

" _See, that's what I mean? Everyone is so focused on me and what I'm doing, what I'm feeling, but Jason lost five years of his life. He's this ever-present thinker, who through no fault of his own, is trapped in the past, and you..." she paused, unsure how to continue._

 _His stomach quivered with uncertainty. "What about me?"_

 _She lowered her gaze to her legs._

" _I'm just a little confused."_

 _She looked up into his bright blue orbs brimming with unspoken fear._

" _You came to me as Jake Doe and said you couldn't marry Elizabeth until you knew who you were. Now you're in a similar situation, and the first thing you do is propose to me?_

 _Her chocolate eyes were boring into him now._

" _I just don't understand why you would do that."_

 _He repositioned their hands so he could entwine their fingers._

" _Because I love you and I want a life with you."_

 _Her expression didn't soften as anticipated._

" _Didn't you love Elizabeth and also want a life with her," she fired back impatiently._

" _I did."_

 _Did he? He knew their entire relationship was a lie on her end, a product of the belief that he was Jason Morgan. But there was a time he'd thought their connection was genuine at least on his part. Now he wasn't so sure if any of it was. Had he been drawn to Elizabeth as himself or as an amnesiac Jason operating under the hitman's forgotten memories?_

 _Why were they even talking about his pseudo relationship with the nurse anyway?_

" _At least, I thought I did. And I get why you're confused. From where you're sitting, you see the similarities, but our situation is actually much different," he assured. "I already know who I was. I was Andrew Cain, an orphan, a SEAL, and maybe I was happy in that life, I don't know. But I do know I'm not that person anymore. I'm a husband, a father, and there's nothing and no one, I would put above you and the kids. That's all I need to know."_

 _She looked down at their hands and smiled weakly._

" _You don't wanna a know how we got here? The experiences that made you the man you are? You could have friends out there. You might even have someone out there who loves you."_

 _Drew shook his head with a skeptical scowl._

" _You saw that file Sam. No parents. No family, just one blacked out mission after another. Doesn't seem like I was every anywhere long enough to put down roots and even if I was, I was working. And yeah, it could be great to have the whole story, but I also might not be missing anything I can't live without."_

 _So Elizabeth was right. He was comfortable with his life and afraid of what he'd find._

" _We could look into it. Fill in the blanks together," she suggested with her dark eyes brightened by enthusiasm._

 _The blonde kissed the back of her hand and smiled._

" _I appreciate the offer, but I think I'd rather focus on the present until you're ready to talk about the future."_

 _She nodded with a smile, the light in her eyes dimming._

' _Were we always this different,' she asked the omniscient voice in the back of her mind._

 _If it knew the answer, it never said._


	18. Chapter 16

_**A/N Thank you, as always for your views, follows, faves, and reviews. Especially those who take the time to reach out and offer feedback. I can't tell you what it means to a writer to know you're enjoying their story!**_

 _ **As much as I've enjoyed laying the foundation for these arcs, I'm eager to get the ball rolling.**_

 _It was unusually warm for January that following weekend. After months of wind and snow, the sun decided to peek out from behind the clouds, blessing the residents of Port Charles with unseasonal warmth. Sam had taken another half day from the office to pick up the kids and enjoy the weather. She was watching Danny on the slide and pushing baby Scout in a swing when she heard a very familiar high pitch shrill._

" _Sam!" The blonde called out, waving wildly with her free hand._

 _Little Georgie whispered something to her parents before taking off in Danny's direction. Spinelli motioned toward the slide and then followed their daughter, but not before acknowledging his dear friend._

' _It's almost like the old days.' He smiled at Danny and Georgie who had reunited at the top of the play tower. 'Only sweeter.'_

 _Maxie made her way over to Sam's side, seating herself on a nearby swing._

" _I don't remember walking taking this much energy with Georgie," she said as she pushed herself back and forward on her toes._

 _Sam grinned. Oddly, she couldn't remember that feeling with Danny or Scout, and she'd given birth less than a year before._

" _I think we block that part that out so we'll be willing to do it again."_

 _Her companion chuckled and agreed._

" _So I heard from a little bird that Sam Morgan got her groove back," Maxie teased inquisitively._

 _The brunette shook her head, still smiling. "I have no clue what you're talking about."_

 _She turned her head toward her interrogator, only to be met with suspicious blue eyes and a knowing smirk._

" _I'm talking about you, Jason, and Spinelli getting the gang back together. I heard you came strutting in, in your underwear, and blew the case wide open."_

 _Sam snorted in a very unladylike manner. "Spinelli exaggerates," she insisted. "They were yoga pants, not underwear, and all I did was give them an encrypted haystack of information to sort through. It might not even help."_

 _The blonde shrugged, cocking her head to the side. "Still, you and Jason working together again? That's gotta be..."_

 _Fun, tempting, sexy as hell? All her immediate thoughts sounded way too forward._

" _Intense."_

 _There! She could find an appropriate word that wouldn't send Sam running in the opposite direction._

 _The brunette waited for the voice to interject, but it didn't. It had been oddly quiet since her conversation with Drew that night._

' _Figures,' she thought. 'The first time I actually want it to say something, it gives me the silent treatment.'_

" _It's not like I'm out in the field, getting shot at and outrunning explosions."_

 _Maxie smirked at her defense._

" _Maybe not yet, but I know you Sam. You get high off that stuff. I mean, you describe dangling off cliffs like you're having the best sex of your life. It satisfies you, or something."_

 _Maybe the voice was silent because it's words were coming out of her companion's mouth?_

" _You know what satisfies me," she countered, pushing her daughter's swing. "My kids. My family. Having people I care about, who care about me."_

 _The blonde's forehead wrinkled. "You could still have that, you know."_

 _Sam shook her head with a sardonic smile._

" _Don't you think I tried that?! Jason and I tried. Drew and I tried, and both times the man I love was shot and taken away from me in some way. The only reason I got involved in this case is to protect the people I love. And when it's over, I'm done!"_

" _Maybe." Her tone was dismissive. "But I don't see it. If there's one thing I know about running from yourself, it's that you take you wherever you run to."_

 _The two exchanged a battle of convictions in a glance, but neither were backing down. After seconds of their stare down, Sam cracked, looking away. Not because Maxie was right, but because one of them had to eventually and she didn't want to waste their time together arguing._

 _Maxie didn't call her bluff either. Whatever Sam was trying to escape, she obviously wasn't ready to face just yet. But when she did, she would need a friend, and she wouldn't come to the blonde if an I told you so was waiting for her._

 _Emily had finally tired of the swing and was eager to explore the other attractions of the park so her mother took her over to join the other children while a pregnant Maxie continued to reserve her energy on the swing set. Danny quickly volunteered to hold his baby sister on the way down and began climbing. Georgie followed close behind, not wanting to be left out._

" _Everything okay," Spinelli probed, sensing her unrest._

 _He loved Maxie, but he also knew she had a tendency to sometimes push too hard._

 _The brunette forced another sad smile. He'd noticed they never reached her eyes anymore._

" _Everything's great," she lied. "The kids are thriving," she looked up toward the tower watching her son maneuver the steps. He wasn't a cautious child, but he was careful enough. "The company's doing well. Jason, Drew, and I are handling this situation like the mature adults we are."_

 _On the outside there wasn't much to complain about._

" _And you've given us our first potential lead," he chirped, hoping to cheer her up._

 _Her gaze drifted in his direction. "So you got something out of it?"_

 _His head bobbed noncommittally._

" _I don't know yet to be honest. However, I've constructed a program to run through the information on the hard drive and search for any parallels between the locations in the files and sightings or traces of Faison during those years. If there is any overlap, rest assured I will locate it."_

 _Danny called out from the top of the tower, signaling when in position. Sam placed Scout in his lap very carefully and instructed the boy exactly how to hold and protect her, and then they both went down together, brother and sister giggling with delight._

 _Sam then took her daughter while Danny ran toward the entrance of the obstacle course, eager to tackle the challenge._

 _Spinelli drew closer, his eyes dipped to the ground._

" _There might be a way to expedite the process, which you may or may not have already thought of."_

 _She turned toward her former partner with a sigh._

" _You mean cross referencing the information on the hard drive with Drew's uncensored navy records? Yeah, I thought about that too."_

 _He's suspected as much. Sam might be rusty, but she was still one of the best in the business._

" _And yet, you withheld the suggestion. Can I ask why?"_

 _This time she kept her eyes fixed on the children, unable to look him in the eye. Though she couldn't put her finger on why._

" _Because...we aren't digging through some stranger's background, or an enemy. We're talking about the man I share a child and a home with. I can't just go rooting around in his past, especially when he's specifically asked me not to."_

 _Spin's expression grew both sympathetic and concerned._

" _But why would he ask you not to, unless perhaps he has something to hide?"_

 _He didn't want to say it, didn't even want to think it. But it was strange, wasn't it, that Drew showed no interest in learning who he had been or why he'd been targeted. Especially, for a man of his background._

" _Spinelli," there was a desperation in her voice he'd rarely heard. "Honestly, I don't why. I don't. But after everything he's done for me, everything we've been through together, at the very least I owe him the same respect I gave Jason, Patrick and everyone else. He asked us not to touch it, and now I'm asking you to respect that."_

 _The younger man nodded, humbled by her plea. Sam was nothing if not loyal, and right now she was wedged between two brothers, both of whom she loved and trusted._

" _If that is what you wish, that's how it shall be. I won't lift a finger to the file. I promise."_

 _She'd just opened her mouth to thank him when his phone began blaring with a loud and rather obnoxious alarm. He looked down at the screen with large eyes and a wide, somewhat amazed, grin._

" _Eureka!" He shouted, looking up to meet her curious gaze. "We have breadcrumbs!"_

* * *

 _Meanwhile Jason sat alone, sipping his coffee and watching the door. Waiting._

 _After what seemed like an eternity, she finally appeared in the doorway; her hair formed a chestnut curtain, shielding half her face and she wore an apologetic grin. His stomach knotted until he saw Jake appear behind her._

" _Hey Jake," looks who's here," she said, acting as though she hadn't known he would be._

 _Jason frowned and stood up awkwardly, fidgeting with his hands. He hadn't meant for her trick their son into this meeting. He'd hoped the boy would come willingly._

 _The ten year old blanched, obviously feeling pressured, and mumbled a greeting._

" _How was your Christmas," Jason asked, offering him a seat at the table. His son spent a moment watching him, sizing him up, and then sat down at the chair on the opposite end of the table._

" _It was good," he shrugged, in a typical preteen way. "Thanks did the art kit," he added._

 _The corner's of his father's mouth pulled upward. He leaned forward, resting his hands in the table._

" _You're welcome. You know when I first met your mom, she was an artist too."_

 _Elizabeth, who had been quietly observing up to this point, blushed and shook her head._

" _Jason's being generous. I was an amateur at best."_

 _The door clattered as it fell against the latch. Jason grimaced, and Elizabeth looked back to the man in the doorway._

" _Don't be so hard on yourself," Franco insisted, stalking closer. He wrapped a territorial arm around his fiancé. "Everyone's gotta start somewhere."_

 _Elizabeth didn't have to be a mind reader to know Jason was upset. Neither did Jake. Both could feel the tension radiating from his masculine frame. Only one of them knew why though._

 _So not only had she mislead their son into the encounter, she'd also brought evil incarnate along, despite knowing his reasons for hating him._

" _At least you didn't start in therapy," the boy teased his mother, whose azure orbs had doubled in size._

 _Jason's gaze shot to her, demanding an explanation. When she offered none he turned to the young boy._

" _Why were you in therapy?"_

 _Jake looked up at his mom, then over to Franco, and finally back to the man sitting opposite him._

" _Mom and D-Drew, Uncle Drew, were worried about me when I first came home. I was mad a lot and scared. But Franco taught me to put those feelings on paper instead of taking them out on people. He really helped me."_

 _His deep blue eyes cut straight to Franco, his blood boiling beneath the surface._

" _Jake, sweetie, why don't you go look at the menu and pick out what you want."_

 _He started to argue, to say he knew the menu backward and forward and always ordered the same thing, but he didn't bother. It wouldn't have mattered. The adults wanted a moment alone and would use whatever excuse necessary to achieve it._

" _Are you guys gonna argue," he asked instead._

 _The brunette shot an accusatory glare at both men, then softened her gaze as it landed on her son._

" _No, honey. We're not gonna fight. We're just gonna talk about grown up things."_

 _He hung his head and walked away, as requested leaving the adults to bicker amongst themselves._

 _Elizabeth stepped between the two men, and hand up on either side._

" _Okay, I understand there's a lot of bad blood between you, and you don't like each other much."_

 _Franco shrugged. "I like Jason just fine when he's not threatening my life or beating me to a pulp."_

 _The glint of amusement in his eyes sent the enforcer right back to Hawaii, right back to holding his wife as she broke down in tears._

 _His pulse raced and his fingers curled._

" _However," the nurse persisted, "you are both permanent figures in Jake's life and mine. Which means you have to tolerate each other."_

 _Having said her peace, she marched over next to her son, hoping both men would take her warning to heart. She didn't want to choose between them or take sides. She wanted Franco's love and Jason's respect. Why should she have to trade one for the other?_

" _You know, I've done a lot of good in this town while you were away," the "reformed" psychopath insisted. "I kept Michael from drowning. I saved Carly from my whack job mother, god rest her soul. I was even gonna donate my marrow to save your son's life."_

 _He grinned, a twisted smirk Jason recognized from their previous encounters._

" _Why can't you just accept the truth? The doctor's, the lawyers, even your own friends and family can see that I've changed. Why can't you?"_

 _He needed Jason to believe him, to accept him. They weren't brothers and he knew they'd never be friends, but his only hope to bury the past hinged on the sins he'd committed staying buried, and denying the urges his former nemesis has reawakened._

 _His usually bright blue eyes were obsidian; black and hard, as he stared right through the man who had brought himself and his loved ones so much pain._

" _I already know the truth," he stated matter of factly. "I see you for exactly what you are. You say you're innocent and the tumor is to blame, but you came back to the place where you did the most damage. You forced yourself into the lives of those you hurt most, and you latch onto my friend, and my child, of all people."_

" _It's a small town," he defended, but Jason had poked holes in his narrative that he couldn't ignore._

 _He'd returned for those very reasons. Why had he stayed once the tumor was removed? He knew he had no place there, no family. And yet, he'd remained in Port Charles._

" _You may have been able to fool the courts, but there's more than one kind of justice. Just know that you will get yours," he promised, dropping his tip on the table for the waitress and grabbing his jacket from the back of the chair. He bid goodbye to Jake and Elizabeth and exited the restaurant, heading straight for the gym when his phone rang._

" _Hey Spinelli-" the genius rattled off his happy news before Jason could even ask for it._

* * *

 _Instinctively, he scrolled through his contacts until he found her face. She was the one he wanted to share the news with, but according to Spinelli, she already knew. He smiled down at the picture before scrolling on to find Sonny's number. His friend and partner had been paramount in his return and so far equally dedicated in his search for answers. Though his interest in the case was more about revenge for his own suffering._

" _Jason?" He sounded troubled. "Listen, I'm glad you called. I'm at the office. Can you meet me here?"_

 _His agreement was reflexive._

" _Yeah, of course. I'm on my way."_

 _He thrust the phone back in his pocket and headed in that direction._

 _When he arrived The Godfather of Port Charles was in plotting mode. He sat behind his desk, fist to his lips. Max and Milo shared a conflicted glance in the silence, uncertain whether or not they should speak in Jason's presence._

 _Sonny waved the blonde in and dismissed the guards, who passed by him with fixed frowns of indifference and apologetic eyes. He took no offense to their behavior. In fact, their dedication to protocol filled him with a brotherly pride and relief._

 _He sat down on the edge of a chair, hunched over, interlacing fingers._

" _What's going on?"_

 _The mobster rose from his seat and headed toward the the beverage cart where he poured them both a stiff drink. He took a sip and handed the other glass to Jason, who sat it aside._

" _I just wanted to give you a head's up," he said as he leaned back against the desk. "There's some conflict brewing in the business right now. I won't bother you with the details, but the truce between the families might be at stake. And if that happens, it could get dangerous for my people and uh for those associated with me. You get what I'm saying?"_

 _Jason nodded._

 _He understood the significance of the truce and what it would mean for it to be broken. What he couldn't figure out was why Sonny was talking to him like an outsider._

" _We've dealt with rivals before," he reasoned, provoking a dimpled grin._

" _We huh?" He examined his drink and then took another swig. "We haven't really discussed what you coming back means for the business. I wasn't sure if-" he shrugged. "You're my brother. My partner. I'd love to have you back, but it has to be your choice."_

 _It had never occurred to Sonny that Jason might not want to come back, until Drew had rejected his offer. He'd respected what he thought was his friend's decision and accepted it as best he could, but he couldn't deny he felt abandoned. When Jason hadn't brought it up, he thought he might be forced to suffer the same fate as before. Especially with Sam embracing the "new and improved" Jason Morgan._

" _I haven't given it much thought, to be honest."_

 _And why would he? He'd been in the business for almost as long as he could remember. His partnership with Sonny Corinthos had stopped feeling like a choice long ago. It was now simply a fact of his life. He was comfortable in that world and more than capable in it. Sure, he'd had moments of doubt, but he always came back. It was his life, and it had served him well._

" _You, Carly, the kids; you guys are family to me. I made a promise to protect you and help you any way I can. I want to honor that."_

 _Sonny looked into his eyes- warm and clear, and knew he wasn't speaking out of obligation._

" _The thing is," Jason continued, "Sam and the kids are my family too."_

" _And you want to honor that as well." His friend surmised._

" _This isn't just about answers or revenge. As long as he's still out there, he can come after them again."_

 _The lines of his face were hard with frustration and pain shone in his eyes._

" _So as much as I want to take care of this for you, Sonny I can't. I have to find him. I have to find out what he and Helena did to us. And I have to make sure they can't harm anyone I love again."_

 _Once again, an answer he didn't want, but could respect._

" _So you want to come back, but you can't til this thing with Faison is done," he clarified, finishing off his drink._

 _Jason grimaced and scrubbed his jaw._

" _I'm saying I can't think about business until my family is safe. And I can't stay in Port Charles and do damage control. We have a list of locations Faison visited that Victor also sent agents to. They could have been working for Helena."_

 _The mobster nodded, his smile now gone._

 _He didn't have the right to be bitter or withhold his love and loyalty, not after all Jason had done for him over the years. But he was struggling anyway. Selfish or not, he wanted what they had. It was clear now that even if Jason came back, his partner might not be the same._

" _I'm not gonna lie. I'd prefer to have you with me on this, but you gotta do what you feel is right. I can't come with you, but I'll support you in any other way I can."_

 _He poured himself a second drink and raised his glass to his friend._

 _Outside the door, Carly quietly laid the takeout down and began texting. She wished Sam had been there to hear how Jason had spoke of her and the children. Any pride and good will she'd felt had evaporated when she heard Jason was leaving town again, and this time without backup._

" _You might as well get in here Carly, we know you're listening," Jason shouted from inside._

" _I wasn't listening, I was on my phone," she said, holding the device in her hand as evidence. She picked up the bag holding the food and carried it into the office. "How did you know it was me? It could have been anyone."_

 _Sonny and Jason both smirked._

" _In high heels carrying metro court takeout," he shook his head. "Not likely."_

 _Sonny reached for a container and she slapped his hand away. She did the same when Jason reached for his plate._

" _I came to spoil my boys, but after overhearing your conversation, which is not the same as listening in," she declared, "I don't think either one of you deserve it. Not if you both think it's alright for Jason to go globe trotting by himself when everything he loves is at stake!"_

 _Both men deflated under her accusation. Carly was stubborn, opinionated, and had already dug her heels in._

 _Her husband stepped up, placing a hand on his own chest. "I don't like it anymore than you, but there's stuff going on right now that demands my attention."_

" _More important than the safety and happiness of your best friend," she spat with disgust._

 _Jason stepped up, pulling the blonde aside._

" _I appreciate the concern, Carly, but I can handle this-"_

 _She stared at him through angry slits, shaking her head in refusal._

" _Maybe you can, but what about the rest of us? What about Sam? You weren't here to see her unravel the last time you went chasing after that psychopath, but I was. Sonny you saw her," she looked to her husband for backup, but he merely shrugged._

" _She seemed fine. A little tense, but-"_

 _Carly growled in frustration._

" _She was faking Sonny! That's what we women do. We tell you we're fine even when we're dying inside cause we don't want to be a burden. Sam didn't want to worry. She probably doesn't even feel like she has the right because of Drew but she was!"_

 _Jason had grown silent, contemplative during her rant. Usually, he took Carly's female perspective with the grain of salt it demanded, but covering to keep from burdening others did sound like a very Sam thing to do._

" _I know she was."_

 _He'd known the second she started screaming in his face at the pier. She was angry on Danny's behalf, but also her own._

" _Then how can you do this to her again, Jason?"_

 _His blood raced and his chest burned as he threw his hands out, putting distance between himself and his best friend._

" _I'm not doing this to her Carly! I'm doing it for her! For all of us! I can't give Sam the time we lost, or Drew his memories. I can't get back what matters to me, but I can find out what happened and I can eliminate the threat!"_

 _He slammed the side of his hand into the palm of the other._

 _Carly pressed her lips together and continued to shake her head. If he believed he was doing this for the woman he loved, there was nothing she could say to stop him._

" _I still don't like it, Jase."_

 _He laid a sympathetic hand on her shoulder._

" _Neither do I."_

 _For the second time that week, Sam appeared in the doorway. Only this time she wasn't smiling and relaxed. She stood like a statue- her eyes and angles hard, her frown permanently set._

 _Sonny and Carly slipped out quietly while Sam stared him down and he looked back in disbelief._

" _Sam," he double blinked, testing his vision. "What are you doing here?"_

 _Her head twisted to the side, unable to hold his gaze._

" _Carly texted me. She thought I should know you're about to go chasing after Faison again, this time without backup?"_

 _Finally, her dark, glowing orbs met his, burning through him from the inside out, as she came closer._

" _Do you want to die Jason? For real, this time. Because if you if keep sticking your gun into corners you can't see the danger in, that's exactly what's gonna happen!"_

 _He wouldn't shrink back. She knew that. Instead he met her halfway, his eyes locked on hers without shame._

" _I'm doing what's necessary to keep you and the kids safe. I'm sorry you don't like it, but I won't apologize for that."_

 _His calm and concern only infuriated her more._

" _Dammit Jason! Do you have to be so noble all the time? You want to protect us," she gestured from him to her and then back again, "but I'm trying to protect you."_

 _H_ e _nodded, the ghost of a smile on his lips._

" _I know, but I don't need protecting." He couldn't stop himself from taking her arms in his hands. "This mission isn't life or death. I'm just gathering intel. I don't need a partner for that."_

 _His hands slipped down her arms, taking her hands in his own._

" _I made you promises, Sam, and I intend to keep them."_

 _Her heart raced and her fingers curled around his._

" _I'm going to be careful, and I'm going to stay in touch. I promise."_

 _Her chin trembled as she pulled his arms around her and buried her face in his chest. Jason pressed her tighter against him, one hand across her back, the other in her hair. It had been so long since he'd held her this way- too long, and he found himself not wanting to let go._

 _But he had to, and so he did._

 _Sam smiled awkwardly as they disentangled. She hadn't meant to throw herself into his arms, nor had she meant to find such comfort there. Unfortunately, the peace didn't last. The moment he left her sight, the fear gripped her once more._

* * *

 _The rest of the day was spent making preparations to fly out that night. Spinelli had provided him with a list of foreign cities, as well as lodging arrangements for the first location and Sonny had the jet gassed up and waiting for takeoff. The only thing standing between Jason and his destination was his brother, who was waiting on the tarmac._

 _Drew didn't need to share DNA to sense his twin's confusion._

" _You're probably wondering what I'm doing here," he adjusted the strap on his shoulder. Only then was the luggage noticed._

" _Actually, I'm just wondering which one sent you."_

 _The stunt had Carly or Sam written all over it._

 _The younger brother chuckled, knowing exactly what he meant._

" _They double-teamed me," he admitted ruefully._

 _Jason just nodded. He'd always hoped Carly would find a way to accept Sam, but he wasn't sure he liked them as friends. That likely meant more trouble for him._

" _That's not why I'm here though."_

 _His gaze darted to and fro, struggling to stay on target. It was strange looking into eyes identical to his own, with his old face looking back at him. Even if he couldn't remember it._

" _I don't know if you know this, but I spent a year in this town without any memories. During that time I heard the heartbreak in Sam's voice when she talked about losing you, and I saw the pain in her eyes when she stood on that pier. I don't want her to have to go through that again. Someone has to make sure you come back to her and Danny, and if Sonny can't do it, then I guess I'm volunteering."_

 _Jason's brows rose in shock._

 _From what he understood, Drew was all about safety and stability. So much so that he'd leapt headfirst into a business he knew nothing about and denied himself any involvement in the investigation, despite being the focus of it._

" _You really love her, don't you," he asked, fighting the lump in his throat._

 _Drew nodded, readjusting the strap again. "There's nothing I wouldn't do for her."_

 _Jason's expression softened._

 _It would be so much easier if Drew were still snarling at him behind Sam's back. He could hate him then. He could believe he deserved to win her heart. But the man in front of him wasn't a monster or inferior in any way. His twin's love for Sam was just as pure as his own, and he was genuinely trying to reach out as a brother._

" _Then you should stay." He urged gently._

 _If for some reason Jason didn't come back, Sam would need him. And even if he did return, she might need someone to lean on in his absence._

" _Tell her I insisted on it."_

 _Jason didn't have to explain his reasons. Drew understood perfectly why he'd rejected the offer. He might have even done the same in his brother's shoes._

* * *

 ** _So Jason is going off alone for the first time since he returned...and Drew is heading home to Sam after she sent him to his brother...but where is it all going?_**


	19. Chapter 17

_**A/N: As always, thank you so much for your support. Every view, follow, fave, review, and recommendation means so much to me! I know I missed last week's update and I apologize. My mom lives on the other side of the country and she was visiting for a week. But all good things must come to an end and her loss is your gain.**_

 _ **For those who asked, the italics is simply my phone note section's default setting. I copied and pasted the last few chapters and didn't feel like manually changing it. They don't mean anything.**_

 _ **Without further ado, I give you chapter Seventeen!**_

 _Sam's efforts at Aurora continued to decline. The last few months had been spent learning and perfecting her duties and she could now review, sign, and shelve contracts with the best secretaries in the state. Unfortunately, as her performance improved, her resentment grew. Turned out, not even the belief of losing Jason a second time and a rare medical condition could cure her hatred for paperwork! Which she now had the next forty years' worth to look forward to._

 _On top of this daunting realization was the building tension between her and Drew. She hadn't been surprised by Jason's response. In fact, she'd expected it. But she had hoped his brother would fight back with the same passion she'd witnessed in their three years together. The trouble was she knew better. Drew wouldn't have returned home, otherwise. She might have cooled off after some time to herself, if such a thing existed, but it didn't. They shared a home. They shared an office. They shared a child. They were always together and with no time to decompress and reflect, her frustrations only grew._

 _As did her concern._

 _The brunette took out her phone and pulled up Jason's last text. Over the last few weeks they had grown shorter and more infrequent, but this was the longest he'd gone without contact._

 _ **He should have written back by now.**_

 _She threw her hands up in defeat, shoving the papers closer to the edge of the desk._

" _Of course, you're back. Must be nice to come and go as you please_ ," _She grumbled to herself._

 _The voice made no acknowledgement of her slight._

 _ **He promised to stay in touch this time,**_ _it argued with a seemingly one track mind._

 _Sam rested her face against her steepled fingers, and blew out a deep, steady breath._

' _It's been eight days,' The number did nothing to ease her nerves. 'His phone could be dead. It could be broken or lost. He could be consumed with the investigation.'_

 _She rattled off every logical reason she could come up with for his silence. Every one except the obvious._

 _ **He could be in danger.**_

 _She shook her head and slammed the file closed, refusing to take the bait._

 _If there was one thing suffering from toxoplasmosis had taught her it was that her mind was her own worst enemy and that most of her worries would never come to fruition._

' _If all you're here to do is rile me up and make me paranoid you can go back to wherever you were hiding. I'm done living in fear!'_

 _ **Are you?**_

 _She huffed, picking up the file and taking it back toward the shelves, not even willing to dignify the question with a response._

 _While she was in the stacks, Drew entered what appeared to be an empty office after yet another meeting with an investor, with Peter trailing close behind._

" _I understand she's your wife and co-owner of this company, but you have to admit her performance has been sliding."_

 _The blonde thumbed through the contract they'd just negotiated once more, barely listening._

" _She's been under a lot of stress and she's still learning the ropes," he defended, closing the file and passing it off. "Cut her some slack."_

 _Peter accepted the file, but not the excuse._

" _It's more than that," he insisted. "At the press release she spoke with conviction, passion. It was your united front that kept stock from plummeting, but something has changed since then and people are noticing. Important people."_

 _He smoothed his hair back in place as he often did when nervous. Clearly, he was invested in appearances._

" _Her mistakes are costly and her focus is all over the map," he continued making his case._

' _You have no idea,' Drew thought as he sank down into the chair behind the desk._

" _You have to do something," he demanded before suddenly going pale and quiet._

 _His boss followed the COO's gaze until it landed on his wife; her arms crossed, with dark unreadable eyes that followed their employee as he visibly backpedaled._

" _I should go," Peter said, walking straight out of the office to hide in his own. Perhaps freshen up his resume, just in case._

 _She flung the door shut behind him and turned expectantly toward her partner and co-owner._

" _How much of that did you hear," he asked, pressing the pen to the desk, flipping it over and doing the same with the other end._

 _The brunette shrugged. "Enough."_

 _His finger tapped against the object in his hand._

" _He might have a point." His deep blue eyes glanced upward to gauge her reaction. "You said yourself you've been overworking as a distraction. Some time out of the office might be good for you."_

 _Her brow raised skeptically._

" _Good for you and the business, you mean," she challenged._

 _He threw the pen down against the desk and leapt from his chair._

" _Don't twist this around on me, Sam!" His bellows filled the air and his eyes cut like glass._

 _He'd been begging her to slow down since November and always showed concern for her wellbeing. She was the one who had changed._

" _You haven't been able to think straight since Jason left. It's not my fault Peter noticed."_

 _Her spine straightened, unwilling to accept the blame for his request._

" _So now you don't want me here?"_

' _Stop!' His brain shouted, but it was too late. His mouth was miles ahead of his brain, and the filter was broken._

 _He stepped closer, into the line of fire._

" _You don't want me here," he shot back defensively. "You'd rather I was out there globetrotting with Jason, helping you keep tabs on him instead of here with you and the kids, running our company!"_

 _He hadn't meant to be so harsh, but after weeks of her indifference, he'd finally snapped. Some residual disdain for his twin might have slipped through the cracks, but so what? He did resent what Jason was doing to her by going alone and waiting over a week between messages. Why shouldn't he say as much?_

" _You knew when you sent me he didn't want me there. You knew he would let you worry and I wouldn't."_

 _She stormed closer, eyes ablaze, index finger right in his face._

" _How dare you," her voice quivered with rage. "I have never compared you to Jason, and I would never compare him to you. I asked you to go with him because I trust you. That doesn't mean I don't trust him."_

 _Drew took a step back, already wishing he'd kept his mouth shut. No good would come from fighting with her. He knew that, but he was tired of being punished for something that wasn't his fault._

" _Why can't you just admit that you got a taste of being first and you liked it? That you want him to show you the same courtesy and consideration I did when you thought I was him, and it's killing you that he isn't."_

 _She shook her head, unwanted tears pooling in her eyes._

" _That's not it!"_

 _She hadn't denied the accusation. It had been nice to have "Jason" choose her over everyone else. It had been nice not having someone always beating down their door and interrupting their private moments. But that wasn't what was troubling her._

" _Then what is it?" His voice was lower now, but demanding._

 _ **Tell him!**_

 _Her hands raked through her long, dark, curls, her fingers digging at her scalp._

" _I feel like I'm losing my mind again," she whispered brokenly. "There's this voice in my head that keeps shouting at me, telling me something is wrong. And I'm trying to fight it." Hot, wet tears stained her cheeks as she confessed her fears. "I'm fighting so hard, but I can't make it stop and I can't shake the feeling that it's right."_

 _He stared at her in horror; the memory of her illness filling his thoughts. If she was sick again..._

" _Don't-" she shook her finger at him. "Don't look at me like that. I know I sound insane, but it's different this time. I'm not seeing things that aren't there. I'm not imagining danger around every corner. I just..." she pressed her hand to her heart. "I feel it, here, and it's not going away."_

 _Drew continued to stare- unblinking, unfeeling._

" _I knew you wouldn't understand," she mumbled and turned toward the door._

 _His jaw clenched as he fought to regain control._

" _Why? Because I don't have memories of my own? I don't have to remember being Drew Cain to know how it feels when the person you love most chooses to endanger themselves against your will and better judgement. I know how it makes your stomach knot and your thoughts spiral. How it tricks you into believing the worst," he growled to her back._

 _Sam paused and whirled around to face him._

" _You don't think I know how hypocritical I sound? That I don't remember all the times I wanted to do something and insisted I was more than capable of taking care of myself? I do! And nine out of ten times, I was right and everything worked out fine."_

 _Her fury melted into something else now, something he couldn't name, but somehow recognized._

" _But there was always that one out of every ten where I was wrong and if someone hadn't stopped me or come after me..." her voice broke as she struggled for composure. "I know it's probably all in my head and it's probably one of those other nine but what if it isn't? What if this was the one time I was supposed to fight him and I didn't? I could have stopped him from walking out that door!"_

 _She was sobbing now, and judging by her expression had surprised herself with her own words._

 _Any resentment he felt was gone as he took her in his arms and held her while she cried. The strong, resilient, beauty crumpled against him, unable to fight anymore._

 _The blonde then delved into the deepest recesses of his brain, sorting through the chaos in search of the knowledge he would need to comfort her._

" _He wanted to stay. He wanted to stay and I told him to go. But I didn't want him to leave. I was trying to be supportive...to show him I didn't need him to be anyone else."_

" _I know," he said, rubbing circles on her back._

 _She looked up at him then with those big brown eyes filled with self-loathing and his heart broke._

' _Damn Jason for leaving her like this!' But this was why his twin had told him to stay. He knew this might happen._

" _And so did he. He knew you loved and accepted him exactly as he was." The words were thick and heavy on his tongue, but once her lips curled slightly, the burning in his throat and chest seemed worth it._

" _And I don't need his current memories to know that hasn't changed."_

 _For either of them. No matter how flawed his brother was, Sam didn't see it. Or maybe she simply didn't care. She loved Jason without condition. The same way she loved him._

 _Drew continued stroking her back and whispering words of comfort in her hair, until she was finally ready to face him again._

 _She wiped furiously at the tracks on her cheeks as they separated. Her disappointment in herself was palpable, as was her guilt._

" _I'm sorry," she said, rubbing her nose with the back of her hand. "I've been weird and distant, and now I'm picking a fight."_

 _Her glance shifted to the side as she shook her head._

" _You're right, I should go."_

 _The brunette picked up her jacket and purse; an item she had never needed before and detested carrying, but it was all part of the image she'd been trying to create. She didn't have the heart to kiss him goodbye, not after breaking down over Jason in his arms and forcing him to console her. He had combed through the memories he hated just to assure her. It had been his choice, but putting him in that position left a bitter taste nonetheless._

 _Drew watched her disappear behind the door with a sad smile, his heart aching to follow. She needed time and space, but all he needed was her. She was his strength, his reason, his partner in all things. Without her, he was only half there. And yet somehow, that was better than having her near and still feeling alone._

 _Peter was right when he said her interest in the company wasn't what it once had been. For her, the excitement was gone. At home she was quiet, withdrawn. She masked her displeasure for the children's sake, but made no such attempts for his own benefit._

 _As troubling as that was, what bothered him the most wasn't Sam's reaction to Jason's answer, but his own. Maybe it was the memories in his head or seeing her unravel the way his brother had predicted, but either way, he didn't like feeling this...enlightenment, in regards to his twin._

 _He reached into his wallet and pulled out the piece of paper he'd hidden there. One way or another, he was determined to get Jason Morgan out of his head for good!_

* * *

 _It had been nearly three weeks since Kevin had a decent night's sleep. The nightmares had started after the first phone call. Each one was just like the threats made over the line; vague on the details, but an overwhelming violation of safety. The screams were transcendent though. Even when awake, he could still hear Laura's desperate cries for help. Which made the task of listening to Franco Baldwin drone on about tumors and innocence all the more difficult._

" _Just because I had a violent thought doesn't make me a violent person," he insisted, looking to the therapist for confirmation. "Right?"_

 _He squeezed his eyes shut and forced them back open, stealing a quick glance at the clock. 9:38am. Their hour was almost up._

" _Uh, yeah, Franco. Absolutely. It's perfectly normal to have fleeting thoughts of socially unacceptable behaviors." He'd had quite a few of his own recently. "The important thing is that you recognize these thoughts and don't act on them."_

 _The patient puffed up with a smile of validation._

" _Thank you doctor," he said in earnest. "I knew that, but I think I just needed to hear it."_

 _Just because he'd wanted to cause Jason Morgan pain when he'd gotten in his face and threatened him, didn't mean he was obsessed with him. That was the tumor._

" _It's just weird, you know, Jason shows up alive, with his old face, hating my guts like before."_

' _He's probably imagining painting with my blood too,' the former artist mused inwardly._

" _That would be confusing for anyone, I'd think."_

 _Again, Kevin nodded, only half present._

" _Jason has been through a terribly traumatic event and it may take him time to see you as the man you've become. My advice? Give him space and time to come around. He may not ever forgive you, but as a victim he has that right. The important thing is that you both be free to move on from your shared past."_

 _Franco seemed nonplussed by the good doctor's suggestion._

" _But I need him to forgive me!"_

' _And why do you need that if he no longer matters?'_

 _For Elizabeth, for Jake. For a long and happy life that didn't end at the barrel of Jason Morgan's gun. There were plenty of perfectly sane and decent reasons for caring what the mobster thought. None of which required a straight jacket or handcuffs. He had a litany of excuses ready to defend his position, but never got to use them._

 _Instead the phone rang and Kevin leapt to his feet, apologizing every step of the way._

" _Dr. Kevin Collins." The deep monotone voice was now so familiar he could hear it too in his dreams._

 _He lifted a finger to a very impatient Franco, asking him to wait just a few seconds more._

" _Yes, I'm here." He clung to the phone with both hands now, hoping this would be the day the nightmares ended. This would be the day he could take back control of his life and reclaim his moral and ethic code._

 _The man across the room scowled, not appreciating the intruder taking up the time he paid for._

" _Ms. Laura Spencer has just boarded a flight, destination Port Charles, New York. ETA approximately 1825."_

 _He calculated the translation from military to standard time in his head. At approximately 6:25 that evening Laura would be back on American soil and in his arms where she belonged. Then he had his conscience to contend with._

" _Thank you, uh, sir." It felt wrong thanking the man for basically releasing a hostage, but what else could he say? He was grateful she was coming home and eager to put the events of the last month behind him._

 _There was an indeterminable grunt of acknowledgement on the other end. "Your country thanks you for your service," the ominous voice grumbled and then it was gone._

" _Important call," Franco probed shamelessly, demanding an explanation for his wasted time._

 _Kevin laid the phone down and smiled apologetically. This was but one of the many small ways he'd compromised his beliefs throughout the ordeal and would have to answer for._

" _Very," he assured. "My fiancé's in France visiting her grandson. She was supposed to be back weeks ago, but there was some trouble with her paperwork. We just got it straightened out."_

 _The patient nodded, more understanding now._

" _Well, what is a man, without the love of a good woman?" He shrugged with a charismatic grin._

 _He knew more than most how a woman's love could save a man. Even after the tumor, he'd struggled with certain triggers. It was Elizabeth who had cured him of his disease, and it was she alone who could preserve his goodness._

* * *

 _Sam pulled up the text message again on her way home and reread it._

Nothing here, moving on. Be out before the hurricane comes. Don't worry.

 _At the time those words had been a relief, but a week later she couldn't stop going back to them. Something felt wrong about the text. Something she couldn't quite put her finger on after five years of distance. For starters, hurricanes in the South Pacific were called cyclones. Which seemed like the otherwise useless trivia Jason would know. Second, even the mob enforcer wasn't usually that aloof in messaging. He often asked about Danny and Scout. He shared random facts about each city he visited, occasionally even a picture. And he told her about the investigation; where he was headed, who he was talking to, when his leads became dead ends and why. But there was none of that in there. Sure, he could have been in a hurry or having an off day but that many in a row seemed less likely._

 _Still, a strange text was hardly cause for alarm. Even if it was followed by silence._

 _The brunette tossed the stack of mail on the nearby desk as she entered the penthouse and dropped the purse at the door. Both children were spending the day with their grandmother, and while she could have picked them up on her way home, Monica had requested their prolonged visitation. With Drew at the office and the kids taken care of, she was free to do whatever she chose the remainder of the day._

' _No more,' she promised herself massaging her temples. No more crying. No more fighting. No more obsessing over situations she had no control over._

' _ **But you know-'**_

 _She didn't give the voice the chance to plant another seed of doubt._

' _I know Jason is brave, smart, and lethal. Any opponent he faces will easily be taken down.' She shot back, demanding the final word for once._

 _Physically and emotionally she was drained, unable and unwilling to continue the debate. She knew the voice would return, but whatever it had to say would have to wait until after she peeled herself free of the gray pencil dress and red heels she'd donned that morning and washed away the tear streaks from her face. The shower was hot and relaxing. Beneath the water stream her anxious thoughts melted into a tranquil blankness, which was the closest to peace of mind she got these days. Her lounge clothes were soft and comfortable, and the bed inviting. As her lids fluttered down and her worries ceased, she thought back to the feeling in his arms. Strong, protected, peaceful, and free. And for that brief hour in dreamland, she was._

 _The escape was only temporary. Upon waking, she could once again feel the gnawing of her subconscious screaming at her that something wasn't right. The brunette squeezed her eyes tight, and pushed back against images forming in her mind. Jason wasn't hurt or missing or on the verge of death. She'd rather think him inconsiderate and thoughtless than alone in such conditions. She wanted to tell herself Drew was right all along, and keeping his promise simply hadn't been a priority to her husband, but the voice wouldn't let her._

 _ **He saw what the silence did to you when he came back last time. And what it did to Danny. He wouldn't put you through that again!**_

 _She sat up in bed and sighed. 'What do you want me to do?'_

 _ **Investigate.**_

 _Begrudgingly, she placed her feet on the floor and proved herself from the mattress. Then bent down under the bed to pull out her old maps. She laid them out over the living room coffee table, along with the rest of her supplies and began to chart the places Jason had been since his departure. She then combed through her phone, searching his texts for any irregularities. And found one glaring error. Whenever Jason moved on, he always mentioned the next city on the list. His last message didn't._

" _Okay," she flung her head back with a deep breath. "That's definitely suspicious, but not enough for a search party."_

 _If she was going to do this, she would have to keep her head. No one would take her seriously based on a feeling and an out of character text message. Especially, not with her recent track record of paranoia and mistaken identity. There was someone she trusted to read the message who could definitively say whether he wrote it or not- his best friend. But she wasn't ready to involve Carly just yet._

' _Take a break, clear your head, then come back,' she advised herself. It was the only way to remain objective on such a personal case._

 _Sam glanced around her, searching for any task to distract her mind. There wasn't much to do. Aside from the mess she'd brought down with her, the penthouse was clean and orderly. There was no paperwork to complete from the office or houses to sort through. After nearly a month of back and forth she and Drew had finally settled on an agreement, and an offer had been made._

 _Her chocolate orbs landed on the pile of envelopes on the desk. One in particular caught her attention. Unlike the others, it was well worn, had multiple international stamps, and was dated the same day as the text message. Violently, she tore at the paper, her eyes devouring his words._

 _She paced as she read, her heart pounding harder with each word, and then sinking to her stomach by the end._

 _By the time Drew and the children came through the door, the shock was gone and she was already in action. The lockbox had been removed from the closet; their weapons and passports scattered across the desk._

 _His chest clenched as he surveyed their surroundings. Apparently, the time away hadn't had the desired effect. Though she did appear strangely calm._

" _Hey bud, why don't you take your sister upstairs for a minute," he asked, placing the little girl in the preschooler's arms. "Mommy and I need to talk."_

 _Danny looked down at Scout. He didn't want to go, but he also didn't want her to hear the argument that would inevitably follow. He nodded and trekked toward the stairs._

 _The blonde waited until he was certain they were alone and out of earshot._

" _A gun Sam!" He exploded while the brunette shrugged._

" _Scout can't reach that high and even if she could it's not loaded."_

 _He counted to ten slowly, attempting to steady his nerves. He knew Sam was right about Scout and the weapon. It was technically harmless as it was._

" _I know," he conceded with a wave of his hand. "But it's still a gun. I don't want those around the kids."_

 _She reached into the closet and pulled back her leg brace and knife set._

 _His eyes went wide at the shiny blade she lifted from the foldaway pouch._

" _Or those!" He pointed, shaking his head. "We should just leave them in the closet when we move out. I'm sure Jason wouldn't mind adding a few more to the arsenal."_

 _She raised her pants and strapped the brace to her leg, fitting a slim, sharp dagger firmly in place._

 _Only then did he take notice of her wardrobe and the bags next to the couch._

" _You can't possibly be thinking of going after him," he ran a hand through his hair in exasperation. She slammed the letter against his chest, with cold hard eyes._

" _It's not in my head," she insisted, all doubts now gone._

* * *

 _Jason winced, glancing around what was left of the building. He didn't know where he was or exactly how long he had been there. But that didn't matter. The island was likely ravaged by the storm. What he did know was that he was badly wounded, and chained to the beam of a collapsed hut in the middle of the jungle. And the only hope he had of rescue was from the one person he'd begged to stay away._

 _He heard a rustling in the nearby rubble as his captor approached, always waving the gun around as though it were some type of toy. Always with the same smirk of amused superiority._

 _He laughed then as the blonde fought against his binds._

" _Honestly Jason, where are your manners? Sweet Sam will be arriving within days and you've done nothing to prepare."_

 _Jerry bent down to meet his eyes._

" _I do hope she brings her new hubby along, otherwise this entire thing is for nought and I'll simply have to dispose of you both and go after him myself."_

 _His lips curled into a wicked grin as he patted Jason's clenched cheek._

" _But then at least our star-crossed lovers would finally be reunited. You know, maybe it's just the romantic in me, but I do enjoy watching the two of you squirm together."_

 _He sighed discontentedly. "Oh well, I suppose I can't have everything. At least, not all at once."_

 _He rose and began to walk away, leaving Jason alone with the knowledge Sam was walking right into a trap._

" _Why are you doing this," he called out, once again fighting to get free._

 _To his surprise, Jerry paused and turned. "Let's just say your brother and I have some unfinished business, and leave it at that."_


	20. Chapter 18

_**A/N: First, and foremost, thank you so much for the lovely reviews of encouragement and welcome to my new readers! I'm so happy to have you on this journey with me! Every view, follow, fave, and review means so much more than I can explain. Especially as a writer new to the fandom.**_

 _ **Second, I said this in the last author's note, but for anyone who might not already know, about half this story has been written on my phone and is therefore in italics.**_

 _ **Now that we've got that out of the way, happy reading!**_

 _His hand raised instinctively to the crumpled piece of paper against his chest, their fingertips brushing as she pulled back. She watched as his eyes scanned the first sentence, his eyebrows inching closer to the bridge of his nose. He mouthed the words along as he read them, the muscles in his face relaxed, and then finally he raised his eyes to hers, deflating as she stood before him. Any hope she'd had of his understanding died as she witnessed his emotions flicker from confusion and shock to relief and finally guilt._

 _Drew lowered his gaze to the letter, if one could even call it that. There were no confessions of love or heartfelt apologies. All he'd left her with was a few impersonal sentences explaining his decision and a blanket apology for the pain it would inevitably cause._

 _His fingers traced the creases as he folded it back up._

" _Sam I...I don't know what to say."_

 _He wished he could take back his hurtful words from that morning. They had been spoken in a moment of frustration. Even he hadn't hadn't fully believed them. The twins had different ideas of what putting someone first meant, but he couldn't deny that he'd been sent away with Sam's best interest in mind._

 _The brunette shook her head, a humorless scoff on her lips._

" _You still don't believe me."_

 _The blonde laid the paper aside, ready to take her in his arms and console her, but her indignant glare and defensive demeanor would not allow him to take her hands as he'd promised to do in times of sadness._

 _Instead he had to settle for a sympathetic smile._

" _I don't think you're crazy Sam, or sick."_

 _He glanced over to the couch where he could practically see former versions of themselves reconnecting. Her with her feet up on the cushion and a nervous smile. Him leaning against her knees, desperate to feel what he remembered from that rooftop. She could have died in Elizabeth's basement, but something had kept her hanging on long enough for him to find her. Her hallucination of Jason's words coming from his mouth._

 _Her expression softened, ever so slightly, giving him the courage to take another step forward._

" _You and Jason- you two obviously have a special connection. The kind that allows you to...," his smile faded, "feel each other's pain."_

 _The words burned the back of his throat, but he forced them out, knowing they were what she needed to hear. He'd misread her feelings over the last few weeks entirely, assuming the worst. While he'd been quietly hoarding resentment, she had been struggling with Jason's loss and displacement, feeling it acutely as her own. Had he not been consumed with his own guilt and frustration, he might have realized sooner. He might have been there for her as Jason requested. But he'd missed the signs._

 _His brother's final words to him echoed with new meaning._

" _It all makes sense now. He wasn't just being stubborn, like I thought. He was making sure you were taken care of." A reluctant seed of respect for his twin took root inside him as he heard his epiphany aloud._

 _Her eyes narrowed in disbelief._

' _Drew barely knows Jason,' she reminded herself, but it didn't help. Not when Jason's entire life was packed in his brother's brain. And not when he had trusted her judgement without question in the past. Being Andrew Cain shouldn't have changed that, but somehow it had. Or maybe it was because this hunch was about Jason. Either way, she didn't appreciate the shift in loyalty._

 _Sam inhaled deeply, hooking unruly strands of hair behind her ear. Jason's memories were the ace in her back pocket, but that was a last resort. Hopefully, he could be led toward the truth without it._

" _That letter is a lie." Her voice was calm and sure as she made her declaration. "Jason might have written it, but he didn't mean it."_

 _Drew stared at the woman in front of him, his heart breaking for her. Again, he was faced with the unpleasant sensation of despising his twin, while simultaneously comprehending and respecting his decision. Jason had made the difficult choice to remove himself from the situation and allow his family to be happy without him, and while he knew there would be some suffering as a result, like his brother he believed it would ultimately be for the good of all. But of course, Sam couldn't see that yet. All she could see was that she'd lost him again._

 _He wrapped his arms around her, ignoring the stiffness in her reception. Gently, he cradled the back of her head, the one gesture he could remember truly being his own between them; his crystal clear gaze penetrating the murky depths of her own._

" _I know you don't want to believe Jason would do this. For your sake, and the boys, I wish he hadn't, but if he says he needs distance, I think we need to respect that."_

 _There was no misunderstanding her response as she jerked back with fire in her eyes._

" _When has Jason ever done anything based on what he needs," she shot back fiercely. "He knew this letter would rip my heart and how Carly would feel abandoned and act out. He knew writing this would damage lives and he still sent it. Jason wouldn't cause that kind of pain for himself!"_

 _Drew wanted to argue, to remind her of every selfish thing his brother had ever done. The trouble was, even if he believed it was cowardly and cruel, Jason had honestly thought he was doing those things for others. He had stolen Michael from the Quartermaines to protect him from a dysfunctional family. He'd intervened in Sam's pregnancy to keep Michael's family together. The business takeover was an attempt to pry Emily from Sonny's side. And his disowning of Jake had been for his own good._

 _He scratched at the stubble on his chin, unable to deny the pattern emerging._

" _So what do you think happened?"_

 _Her chocolate orbs glistened, and her muscles relaxed._

" _Jason's only ever lied to me for one reason. To protect me."_

 _She clutched her stomach and closed her eyes, reaching out into the void for another vibration from the universe- anything to let her know his condition. But all she could feel was unease._

" _Look at the phrasing. He doesn't say I'm not coming back, he says he can't. That we should focus on being happy and leave the investigation to him, that he won't come back until he's ready and nothing we say will change his mind. Because he knew if he disappeared, I'd go looking and I wouldn't stop until I found him."_

 _The blonde nodded and mumbled, "and if you find him, you find whoever has him."_

 _She beamed with gratitude, her lips curving into a faint smile which quickly fell with his next sentence._

" _Which is exactly why you shouldn't go."_

 _Her expression morphed from joy to betrayal in seconds._

" _Just hear me out," he pleaded, reaching out once more and coming empty as she stepped back._

" _I've been in Jason's shoes and it's nearly impossible to focus on what needs to be done when all you can think about is whether the person you care about is safe or not. You running after him when he asked you not to is only gonna slow him down and give him twice as much to worry about, and if something goes wrong and you don't make it back..." his choked on the words, unable to even consider that possibility. "He'd never forgive himself for not saving you. I'd never forgive myself for letting you go. And both Danny and Scout would grow up without their mom."_

 _Her heart constricted as he painted a picture of her worst fears. Of course, she wanted to live, to be there for her children. They were both so young they probably wouldn't even remember her. All they would have were stories and pictures. She couldn't let that happen._

 _Slowly she began to walk toward him, lowering her defenses._

' _Maybe he's right,' she thought. The last time she'd tried to help, she'd only been a distraction and Drew had been shot because of her._

' _ **But what about Jason,'**_ _the voice argued._

 _Jason would have a better chance of returning without her there to fumble his efforts._

 _The former SEAL heaved a sigh of relief, as her resolve began to waver. Finally, he was getting through._

 _She walked into his arms and he wrapped them tight around her, doubling down on his emotional blackmail._

" _You said there was always that one time out of ten you needed someone to stop you..." he whispered against her hair while stroking her back. "I couldn't take the chance this was it."_

 _Instantly, he recognized his mistake as the brunette went rigid. Her head raised to meet his eyes, a curious expression on her face._

" _What if it were my mom," she asked, carefully freeing herself of his embrace. "Or Monica, or one of my sisters?'_

 _He grinned anxiously. "It's not."_

 _Her gaze sharpened, a calculating gleam glazing her cocoa orbs. "But what if it was? Would you still be asking me to do nothing?"_

 _He took a step back, angling away from her._

" _That's not- it doesn't matter who it is. It's dangerous," he sputtered, feeling himself lose ground with every word._

 _Sam snickered at his response, knowing damn well it was a lie. She'd seen Drew go to bat for the people he loved. She'd heard the threats he'd made on Alexis and Monica's behalf's. Both of which were nothing compared to his devotion to her and the kids._

" _I knew it," she pointed an accusing finger toward him. "I knew this was about Jason. You're so obsessed with what he's not that you can't see who he is!"_

 _The man stood shameless before her, unrepentant. He'd done everything she'd asked of him since his twin's return, but not this. He wouldn't step back and allow her to throw her life away for the mob enforcer, even if he was a nominee for sainthood to all of Port Charles!_

" _You keep saying me and the kids are all you have, and that's not true. Jason isn't just Danny's father. He's Scout's uncle. He's your brother."_

 _He stalked forward, blue flames dancing in his eyes._

" _And your husband!"_

 _The fire died as the shock of his own words washed over him. Sam stood frozen; her eyes wide and her mouth agape. He watched as she struggled to compose herself, a sick churning in his gut._

 _After a moment, her gaze shrunk and her mouth closed._

" _Married or not," she spat venomously, "Jason is a member of this family, and you might be willing to sacrifice him, but I'm not."_

 _She turned on her heels and began throwing the items on the desk into an overnight bag, rather forcefully, he noticed._

 _His heart thudded dully in his chest. It didn't matter what he said now. Her mind was made up. It didn't matter that Jason had chosen to willingly endanger himself, that he'd ignored her concerns for his safety, or that he'd told her to stay away. She would run to him, just like she always had._

 _Hesitantly, he moved toward her._

" _Make sure you pack one of those for me," he whispered over her shoulder, earning a glance._

" _Really?"_

 _He offered a lackluster smile in reply. "Of course. We're partners, right?"_

 _The brunette lit up the room with a luminous grin of her own._

" _You call Monica, I'll call Curtis, and we'll head out first thing in the morning," he promised._

 _Sam nodded and threw herself into his arms, clinging tighter than before. She laid her head against his shoulder and waited for the peaceful sensation she'd felt so often in his arms to rush over her, but this time it didn't come._

 _Drew was the first to let go, averting her gaze. "On second thought, I think I'll pay Monica a quick visit."_

 _Standing there, with her in his arms, they'd never felt more apart, and he couldn't take it. He needed a distraction._

" _She deserves more than a phone call," he added unnecessarily. His brother's wife wasn't exactly fighting to keep him present._

 _He offered a halfhearted grin as he reached for his jacket and headed out the door._

* * *

 _The Quartermaine residence was eerily silent without the children scampering about. Monica stood at the mantle awash in the memories of days gone. She wore a bittersweet smile as her gaze travelled down the line of photographs, reliving each one. So many were gone now. Lila and Edward, Emily and A.J., Alan... Her eyes misted as they landed on her husband's face, feeling quite alone._

 _Part of her wished he could be there with her. But another part was grateful he hadn't lived to see their family collapse. If the heart attack hadn't killed him, the destruction of his legacy certainly would have._

 _Just then, there was a knock at the door._

 _She brushed under her eyes before opening the door, hoping to hide her tears._

" _Drew?"_

 _He flashed her a muted grin in greeting and waved with one hand._

" _Hey." He shoved his hands back in his pockets, shoulders hunched. "I hope it's alright that I just dropped by like this..."_

 _The older woman leaned her head against the door frame. There was nothing like a lost soul at your doorstep to put things in perspective._

" _We're family," she assured ushering him in. "You're always welcome here."_

 _They linked arms and she lead him inside._

 _She guided him back to the sitting room and they took a seat, just like the first time he had come to her believing he was Jason._

" _You look troubled," she said, patting his knee in a motherly fashion that made him smile. Outside of his life with Sam and the kids, this was the closest to home he could remember feeling._

 _He turned to meet her gaze of concern._

" _I came to ask a favor, one I don't really want."_

 _She nodded sympathetically._

" _I see, well whatever it is you need, I'm happy to help however I can. You know that."_

 _His cerulean gaze fell to his clasped hands. He opened and closed them again._

" _Yeah, I know...I was hoping, well Sam and I, we've had an unexpected trip come up last minute and it's not the kind of outing you take children on."_

 _Monica positively glowed upon hearing his request._

" _Oh Drew! You never have to twist my arm to spend time with my grandkids," she oozed with gratitude. "I would love to watch Danny and Scout for you both."_

 _He smiled awkwardly, his insides twisting with guilt._

" _The thing is...I don't know how long we'll be gone." He lifted his head to meet her eyes once more. "It could be a little while."_

 _It was clear by the sadness staring back at him that she understood his implication._

" _This isn't a business trip, is it," she asked, swallowing the lump in her throat._

 _He unlaced his fingers and reached for her hand._

" _I don't want you to worry. This is more for Sam's peace of mind than any need on Jason's part. I'm sure he's fine."_

 _It wasn't a lie, per se. There was no solid evidence of foul play, but he could tell by her careful expression that she knew what their leaving meant._

 _She raised herself from the couch, and threw her arms around his neck, squeezing him hard._

" _Be safe out there," she begged, "and come home soon."_

' _All of you,' she plead wordlessly._

 _He returned the embrace and promised to do his best to fulfill her request. After a few moments of uncomfortable silence he ran his hands down his pants legs and dismissed himself. She wedged herself in the doorway, watching him disappear. It was true, the family was not what it once was. Many had fallen in Alan's absence. But there was also a new generation of Quartermaines, alive and well, to carry on their legacy._

* * *

 _Sam buried her face in her hands the second the door closed behind him. They worked their way up to her hairline, combing her long, dark tangles back, as she fought for control of herself. Something had come over her back there. If was as though the voice in her head had suddenly flown from her mouth. Her eyes closed and she focused on her breathing. Whatever had happened, it wasn't her talking. She would never have spoken so cruelly to a man whose only crime was wanting to protect her._

 _Mindlessly, she finished loading up the bags. She refused to reflect on the events leading up or the possible consequences that might follow. Her only thoughts were on the mission ahead. Otherwise the fear might creep in and prevent her from doing what needed to be done._

 _Once the preparations were complete, she turned her focus to a new task; figuring out a way to inform her son._

 _Danny sat on the floor of the nursery with Scout; an uncharacteristic frown on his face. His slender shoulders sagged forward as he beat on the toy drums. His sister squealed and bounced along to the beat._

 _The image made her heart ache, but she donned a smile and stepped into the room._

 _The five year old was so fixated on his performance, he didn't hear her or look up._

" _Wow!" His mother exclaimed, sitting down next to them._

 _The drumming ceased, but he continued to stare downward._

 _Sam fixed her legs into a cross legged position, and angled her head to catch her son's gaze, should it rise._

" _I had no idea you were such a passionate musician," she said, fluffing his hair._

 _Still, he didn't look up or smile._

" _I didn't want her to hear you fighting..." He whispered quietly._

 _She winced and repositioned herself, pulling her legs further inward._

" _Oh baby," she murmured, drawing him closer. "I'm so sorry."_

 _He allowed her to hug him, but did not return it. Finally, their eyes met and her heart broke._

" _How much did you hear?"_

 _The child shrugged, uncertain how to answer._

 _She scooted closer and lifted his chin with her hand._

" _I'm sorry you heard any of it, and I'll try to do better on that, okay?"_

 _Danny bobbed his head up and down in agreement, but still didn't speak._

' _It's as though he's never heard an argument,' she thought._

 _And then she realized he hadn't. She and Drew had barely ever disagreed, let alone fought. And the few times they had, most of which were during her illness, it had never been in front of the children or when they could possibly overhear. Her little boy was growing up. He was becoming more aware of the world around him. And at present, their world was a mess._

 _Her thoughts were interrupted as Emily Scout lunged forward, toward the drum kit. Apparently, she wanted more music and did not appreciate all the stunted conversation._

 _Her mother caught her just in time and sat the baby in her lap. She then placed a toy piano in front of them to keep her occupied. It made plinking and plunking sounds as she mashed on the keys._

 _Sam turned her attention back toward her son. She still had to tell him they were leaving in the morning, but knew that information would only burden him more._

" _You know, just because people love each other doesn't mean they always agree." His innocent blue eyes glanced up to her face once more. "And when people really care about what they disagree on or believe strongly in it, sometimes they disagree louder than they should. But that doesn't mean they don't love each other anymore or that they won't find a way to agree. They might have to compromise a little." Her nose wrinkled and her head tilted. "But people who love each other to do."_

 _The five year old mulled this over in his head. He still didn't like the yelling, but if what his mom said was true, it wasn't something to be afraid of. It didn't mean he would lose his other daddy like Jake had lost his._

" _You must care a lot," he said, lifting his head for good. "Because you disagreed loud."_

' _Loud and mean,' she chastised herself again._

' _ **Because you were fighting for Jason's life,'**_ _the voice reminded._

 _Not that she could or would tell their son that._

" _You're right, we were really loud. But we talked it out and everything's okay now."_

 _He contemplated her statement, wondering what resolution they could have come to. He hadn't heard much of the argument. Only that she was going after someone and daddy Drew didn't like it. There was only one topic he could remember bringing out that time in his other daddy and that was his real one._

" _So you're not going after my dad?"_

 _She started to speak but paused._

 _What was more important; keeping her promise or giving her son peace of mind? He was a child. He was supposed to laugh and play and be carefree. Not worry about where his dad was or if his sister could hear her parents argue._

 _ **Remember what happened the last time you tried to keep the truth from him?**_

 _Sam smiled sadly, and nodded._

" _Yeah, sweetie, I am."_

 _He looked as conflicted as she felt._

" _We both are, actually. You and Scout are gonna spend some quality time with Grandma Monica while we visit with your dad."_

 _The boy cocked his head to the side. "Is he okay?"_

' _Well?' She questioned the all-knowing voice. 'Got any suggestions for this one?' But, just like last time, it didn't reply._

" _You don't know this, but sometimes when you're sleeping, I come in your room to check on you."_

 _His brow furrowed._

" _Why?"_

 _The brunette shrugged._

" _Just to make sure you're okay. And you always are, but it makes me feel better to see it for myself. It's the same thing with your dad. When I don't see or hear from him for a little while, I worry, even when he's probably okay."_

" _You have to see it," he said, not meaning to think out loud. Then his eyes darkened. "But what if he isn't?"_

 _This was exactly why she'd been tempted to lie. Because the more information he had, the easier it became for him to connect the dots on his own._

" _Then I'll find him and I'll bring him home," she promised._

 _Danny perked at her confidence and determination. And this time when she reached for a hug, he held her tight. He flashed his dimples at her as they pulled apart._

" _Can we have pizza," he asked, ready to move on._

 _Sam chuckled with relief and gathered her daughter and son, guiding the latter toward the stairs. She reached into her pocket, dialed Drew's number and put it in speaker._

" _Why don't you ask," she suggested, uncomfortably bypassing a title for Drew. She still couldn't bring herself to call him Danny's uncle, or his dad. Even calling him Drew still felt strange at times._

 _Yet she'd labeled all of Jason's connections with ease. Well, almost all of them. She'd been blatantly ignoring the news of their marriage since New Year's. They all had. Until Drew had come out and called Jason her husband. Which only made her more adamant. She'd given up the search five years ago and condemned them all to a life without each other. She wouldn't make that mistake again._


	21. Chapter 19

_**A/N: Alrighty folks, I don't have much to say this time. As always thank you, thank you, thank you, for all the love and support you've given me and this story! Every view, follow, fave and review means SO much!**_

 _ **The places in this chapter are real, but not exactly as I've described them ;p**_

* * *

 _Jason forced his eyes open and scanned his surroundings. They were fuzzy but familiar by now. He groaned and panted as he peeled his back from against the beam, careful not to put his weight on it. With great effort he lifted his head to examine the roof. It was barely holding. A few more inches and the whole place could come crashing down on top of him. He blinked as the room began to spiral overhead. His breaths came out in shallow puffs as he fell back into position._

" _Sam," his voice cracked as he spoke her name._

" _I'm here."_

 _He looked up and she was towering over him. Her long, dark hair flowed behind her, and her jeans and grey tank top hugged her figure perfectly._

" _No," he whispered brokenly. "You're a memory. That's how you looked when you found me in Mexico."_

 _The hallucination bent down, balancing expertly on her slender heels._

" _You remember that?" Her voice held a tone of surprise and amusement that unsettled him._

 _His eyes burned and swelled, but there were no tears to form._

" _Yeah, I do..."_

 _She smiled down at him with sparkling eyes._

" _You thought you were hallucinating," she said with a tilt of her head. "But then I touched you, like this."_

 _The imaginary hand reached out and stroked his cheek, and even though he knew it wasn't real, he leaned into her touch._

" _That's when you realized you weren't alone. And I made you promise you weren't gonna die."_

" _I'm sorry Sam," he choked out, staring into those deep chocolate eyes that weren't really there._

" _Promise me, Jason!"_

 _The mirage pulled her hand back, and the warm tingling on his cheek ceased to be. She was fading from view._

" _Sam," he called out weakly as she vanished into nothing. "Sam!"_

* * *

 _Sam jarred awake suddenly and leaned her head back against the seat. Her hand flew over her heart, which was racing._

 _Drew twisted, reaching for her free hand._

" _Hey, you okay?"_

 _She studied him curiously a moment, almost as if she were confused by his presence or concern. Her gaze drifted to their joined hands. It was a gesture of love and comfort, and yet, as he searched her dark pools for answers, she couldn't help but notice that she wasn't feeling either of those things._

 _The brunette took her hand back, running it through her hair._

 _Yeah, I'm fine," she fibbed. "I just forgot where I was for a second."_

 _His concern only grew with her reply._

" _Come on, you have to know what I'm talking about. That feeling you get when you fall asleep somewhere foreign and then you wake up expecting to be in your own bed, but you're not, and for just a split second your brain hasn't caught up yet and it's trying to make sense of what it's seeing."_

' _And feeling,' she added mentally._

 _He nodded and mumbled some agreement, but she felt more as though he were humoring her than understanding._

 _Which was exactly why she decided to keep her next thought to herself. The thought that maybe Drew had been right when he said she could still feel Jason's pain. Perhaps the reason she had expected to wake up in more miserable circumstances was because she had somehow tapped into his emotions while she was dreaming._

' _You probably just had a nightmare,' she reasoned, dismissing the idea as quickly as it formed._

 _This time he placed a reassuring hand on her knee; another hollow gesture that didn't feel right._

" _We're still a few hours out," he said, throwing a quick glance to his friend who also wore an expression of concern. "Why don't you try to rest? I'll wake you when we're close to landing."_

 _Her smile was wobbly at best as she accepted his offer and curled up in her seat. She couldn't remember the dream itself, but it's effect had shaken her enough to fear sleep. She had to try though. Jason was counting on her, and she would be no help to him on the verge of exhaustion._

 _The blonde watched her lay down and close her eyes. He bent down and kissed her on the head before making his way over to Curtis._

" _Everything alright," his partner whispered just loud enough for Sam to overhear._

 _She didn't have to open her eyes to know Drew's were on her._

" _Depends on your definition," he replied, sadly._

 _That was the last thing she heard before sleep claimed her once more. The next time she heard his voice he was nudging her awake and the jet was preparing to land._

* * *

 _As she stepped off the plane and onto the Munda tarmac, she felt a strange energy pulse through her. Suddenly, the terror that had gripped her upon waking was gone. She no longer feared moving forward because she could feel him inside her, guiding each step with purpose. His gentle whispers of encouragement echoed in her mind, giving her the courage she needed._

 _With newfound confidence, she grabbed her bag and slung it over her shoulder. Drew and Curtis did the same and followed her to the entrance of the airport. Inside, a man approached them; tall, dark skinned with dark hair, and a wary but welcoming grin._

" _Greetings," he said, taking the woman's hand first. "I am Eddie, I run thei natural disaster relief here in Munda," he explained, moving onto the two men._

" _Nice to meet you, Eddie. I'm Drew Cain. This is Sam and Curtis," he pointed to each as he introduced them._

 _The man nodded, eyeing Sonny's jet through the window._

" _Are you here as volunteers?" The hope in his eyes faded as the three shared an awkward glance._

" _We're actually here looking for someone," Sam explained, somewhat apologetically. "He was visiting this area," she pulled the envelope from her pocket to reveal the returning address, "when the storm hit."_

 _Eddie examined it carefully, his expression shifting from disappointment to sympathy._

" _It's a good two hours boat ride to Tetepare," he said, handing back the envelope. "You'll have to make arrangements with the boatman. But you best hurry," he added. "They won't be making many more trips today."_

 _The two men mumbled their thanks and began off in the direction he pointed. The brunette paused, looking back over her shoulder._

" _Thank you," she said, smiling with gratitude._

 _He waved back with a nod._

" _I wish you luck in your search," he replied. Her smile grew wider and then she turned, racing for the door._

 _When she got there Drew stood waiting for her outside while Curtis made arrangements with the boatman to be taken across immediately._

* * *

 _From a distance, Tetepare appeared to be a paradise of white sandy beaches and lush rainforest. It was only as they neared the shore the illusion was broken. Jungle canopies had been ravaged by the storm. Homes along the coastline were either damaged or destroyed. The people of the village were clearly in survival mode. All of which made the island a perfect hideaway for someone with ill intent._

 _The sun had already dipped toward the horizon by the time they docked. A second disaster relief assistant was there waiting for them with food, water, and a supply of medicines to prevent bacterial disease. Her name was Mary and she was quick and efficient in welcoming her guests and leading them to a community schoolhouse which had been transformed into a makeshift hostel until a more permanent solution could be found. She then left them alone to settle in._

 _Sam wasted no time getting started. She grabbed her gun, slid her knife into place, and pulled out three small packages, tossing two toward the men._

" _Prepaid SIM cards," she explained, prying open the back panel on her cell. "They'll allow us to use our phones even though we're way out of service."_

 _Drew nodded stoically sliding the device in place._

 _Curtis grinned, eager to lighten the mood. "Can you imagine the roaming charges out here?"_

 _But the brunette dismissed his attempt at humor, asserting control of the mission._

" _I also have Spinelli narrowing down Jason's last known whereabouts on the island using the texts he sent me. It won't be able to give an exact location, but it can help limit the search."_

 _The private investigator raised a brow skeptically toward his best friend's wife._

" _Handy little guy, huh?"_

 _Sam just smirked, shoving her phone in her back pocket._

" _In the meantime, you two hit up the village. See if anyone knew Jason or spent time with him. I'm gonna check out where he was staying and see what I can find there."_

 _Drew reached for her hand and gave it a quick squeeze. She smiled and let go, slipping past him._

" _It's like I can't reach her," he said, watching her disappear through the exit._

 _Curtis let out a sigh and looked over at his friend. Part of being an investigator was having a keen eye, and watching Drew and Sam together, it was clear something was off._

" _I don't think anyone can right now." He slapped his friend on the shoulder and guided him down the path they'd just watched his wife walk seconds before._

* * *

 _While Curtis was giving Drew a pep talk, Sam was making her way down the coastline. She'd spent every minute since she'd gotten that letter trying to separate herself from her emotions, but nothing could have prepared her for the wave of dread that washed over her as she looked down at the remains of the eco-lodge where he had stayed. It was right on the water and miles the forest. There had been nothing to shield it from the tempest._

 _The image of Jason inside, as the hut had been shredded flashed through her mind and she had to close her eyes and turn away._

 _When she did so, she found that she was no longer alone. In front of her stood a woman. Like the other villagers, she had dark skin and dark hair. She stood a few inches above Sam, her blue dress billowing in the light breeze._

 _She smiled kindly and extended her hand, offering a dark, weathered, object to the brunette._

 _Sam's brown eyes softened and her lips curled upward._

" _Jason's jacket," she murmured, taking it in her hands and pulling it close._

 _The woman nodded, with a small chuckle._

" _I'm afraid he had no use for it down here."_

 _Her grin grew as she fingered the leather. "Yeah, but he never goes anywhere without it."_

" _You're Sam," she responded matter-of-factly. "I recognize you from your picture."_

" _Yeah," Sam draped the jacket over her arm. "Yeah, I am. I'm actually here looking for him. You wouldn't happen to know where he is, would you?"_

 _She got a far off look in her eyes that made Sam's insides twist._

" _I'm sorry, I don't." Her eyes filled with unshed tears. "The night of the storm we were all gathering at the schoolhouse for shelter. But we couldn't go because my daughter was missing. She'd grown quite fond of your husband and he of her. When we realized she wasn't with us, he took off looking for her."_

 _She paused taking a shaky breath._

" _He never came back, and we still haven't found my Vella."_

 _The brunette placed her free hand on the woman's shoulder. She didn't know her from Eve, but she knew Jason. He wouldn't have entrusted her name or photograph to someone who had not earned his favor. Knowing that he cared for this family filled her with a strange familiarity toward them. As did their mutual experience of loss._

 _She knew all too well the pain of losing a child, and silently prayed that somehow this girl Jason had gone after would be found alive and in good health. But she didn't dare to speak such enthusiastic words for fear of inspiring false hope that would only hurt her mother more._

" _Thank you so much for this," she gestured to the leather on her arm. "And for talking with me."_

 _Just as she opened her mouth to continue she felt a vibration in the back pocket of her jeans._

" _I'm sorry, I really need to take this," she said, reaching for the device._

 _The woman nodded again and excused herself, leaving Sam alone to discuss the search._

" _Spinelli," she exhaled his name like a sigh of relief. "Please tell me you got something from those messages I can use," she begged._

" _I take it out venture is not off to a good start," he surmised glumly. "I do have some new information that might prove helpful, though I do feel I would have been more beneficial to StoneCold's search and and rescue were I able to accompany Fair Samantha-"_

" _Spinelli!" She snapped impatiently._

 _Both she and Jason loved Spin and valued his loyalty, but his lament over what had already taken place was costing precious daylight._

" _You know I love you to pieces, but I need you there, working your magic from a distance. Now please, tell me what you found," she urged gently._

 _Over the line she could hear furious typing._

" _Yes, of course. Unfortunately, the phone is now off or dead so I was unable to get a current location. I was, however, able to construct a geographical map of sorts, using his previous activity."_

 _Sam took a deep breath, permitting herself to enjoy this small victory._

" _I'm emailing you that information as we speak," the jackal replied._

 _Her phone beeped as confirmation._

" _I will warn you, it's still a rather large area to comb through."_

 _She nodded, then remembered he couldn't see her do so._

" _It's still more than we had before. I'm going to find him Spinelli."_

 _It was the second time she had made that promise to someone she loved. Third, if she included her silent vow to Jason._

" _I have no doubts," he said, though he did have questions as to what condition his friend might be in when she did. A man could survive weeks without food, but only days without water. And cyclones were not gentle phenomenons. Something terrible must have happened to prevent his mentor from moving on, and he feared StoneCold's time might already have run out._

 _They said their goodbyes and she pulled up the email, running back toward the center of the town._

* * *

 _Drew and Curtis were busy questioning the villagers, as instructed, when she came stalking up the beach with Jason's jacket in hand. She motioned them both toward the schoolhouse where they could discuss their findings. Once they were certain they were alone, Sam pulled out a map of the island, marking Jason's movements as they gave her a run down of their own discoveries._

" _Apparently, your man Morgan was known as an avid bird watcher down here, said he spent a lot of time in the jungle."_

 _The brunette tilted her head and examined the map._

" _That would make sense. Most of this area is in the middle of the forest."_

 _Drew leaned over, studying the coordinates._

" _I knew Jason would want privacy, so I asked around. There's nowhere to stay here on your own. All the lodges have a guide or caretaker of some kind. The one he stayed at was run by a family; man, woman, and a little girl about Jake's age._

' _Vella, most likely.'_

" _All the meals are communal, so he had to spend some time with them."_

 _She tousled her hair to the side, sectioning off the isolated search area._

" _They lost their daughter in the storm. I doubt they're thinking about Jason or anything else."_

 _The three shared a meaningful glance of sorrow and pity._

" _Anyway, Jason spent most of his time in the wilderness and that's what most of this is," she gestured to the marks on the map. "I think that's where we should start."_

 _Curtis reached for the pen in her hand. "Okay, so if we divide this into sections and split up we can cover more ground."_

 _Drew grimaced, not liking this suggestion at all._

" _I think Sam should stay behind and keep an eye on the village."_

" _Not a chance," she snarled._

" _Stop and think this through," he growled, raising his hands in a defensive stance. "There's no food, no water. They're handing out meds at the docks. If somebody has Jason, they aren't getting by without those things."_

" _Of course!" She mentally smacked herself for missing it. "They'd have to come into the village for supplies."_

 _The blonde nodded while Curtis watched from the sidelines. He knew better than to get between a man and his woman in the middle of a sparring match. It was safer to keep his opinion to himself and side with the victor._

" _Okay, you're right," she said with a wave of her hand. "It makes sense for someone to stay behind and play lookout, but it's not gonna be me."_

 _Drew clenched his jaw._

" _You're the one that makes the most sense, Sam. Men brag to women, other women confide in them, and you're the only one who would recognize an enemy of Jason's if they walked up to the provision line," he countered defensively, making a move for the door._

 _Sam latched onto his arm, stopping him in his tracks._

" _All the more reason I should go and you should stay. If I can recognize them, that means they can recognize me too. You know everything I do, and unless they've been to Port Charles in the last five years, they won't see you as a threat. They won't even know who you are."_

 _He turned toward the brunette and gripped her shoulders._

" _I know that you want to help Jason, but baby you haven't investigated since before Scout was born. Curtis and I are his best chance, and every minute we stand here arguing, is another minute we're not out there looking for him."_

 _She glanced sideways to avoid his gaze, her eyes on the door. Her head shook from one side to the other in denial._

" _Fine. Go." The command came out in broken whispers. "But don't expect me to thank you for this."_

 _He stepped forward and planted a kiss to her temple before loading his own gun into his waistband and exiting the building._

 _Curtis followed behind him, almost wishing he'd spoken up. Drew was his friend and he understood the man's reasons, but as he looked up into Sam's face as he passed by, he couldn't help but feel that what had just happened was wrong._

 _He bounced down the steps of the schoolhouse, rushing to catch up with the former SEAL._

" _You sure this is how you wanna handle this," he asked, giving the schmuck one last chance to turn around and make things right with his lady._

 _But the blonde kept walking, his heart trying to pull him back every step of the way._

" _We'll split up, like you said, cover more ground. We should meet back up and head in before it gets dark. There's no telling who or what is waiting in there."_

 _Curtis stared at him in disbelief as they lingered just outside the forest._

 _He was either very brave or very foolish to leave a woman of that caliber stewing in her own anger. Either way, he'd have Drew's back._

" _Alright," he said checking his own weapon one last time, "let's do this."_

 _Sam held her position as both men walked out the door. She listened to Drew's wide, stalking stride, followed by Curtis's hurried steps behind him, until both were too far to be heard. Her hands flew over her body, giving herself a quick pat down. She felt for her knife beneath her pants, her phone in her back pocket, and the gun at her waistline._

 _She then reached up, wrapping her fingers around the compass Jason had given her the night before he went to Pentonville._

' _You promised to find your way back to me,' she thumbed the surface and released her grip. 'Now I'm gonna use it to find you.'_

 _The brunette poked her head out gingerly, searching for Drew and Curtis. Both of which had disappeared from view._

' _ **So now we're lying to the man we claim to love?'**_

 _Sam thrust herself against the wall with a sigh._

' _Aren't you the one who was pushing me to get Drew on board with this search by any means necessary,' she countered, slipping through the exit and making her way around the building toward an opening she'd passed earlier._

' _ **I didn't say anything that wasn't true. Can you say the same?'**_

 _Her dark eyes rolled as she entered the forbidden rainforest._

 _She'd known when she agreed to stay behind that she had no intention of obeying his wishes, but what else could she have done? No amount of debate was going to change his mind and they were wasting precious time by doing so._

 _Whatever came of her lie, she would deal with. After Jason was found._

 _She pried open the compass and began her trek into the unknown, silently praying out to the silent void._

' _Please just hold on.'_

* * *

 _Over the next few hours Drew replayed their argument in his head. He wished there had been more time or that he'd used kinder words, but in his heart he knew it wouldn't matter. Sam had been hell bent on getting to Jason and nothing was going to stop her. Not even her own best interest._

 _It was actually one of the things he loved about her; her fierce loyalty to those she loved. Granted, it had taken him a long time to appreciate that quality in the beginning. He'd been so blinded by his gratitude to Elizabeth, so certain of her goodness, that he'd missed what was right in front of him._

 _Shame filled his chest as he remembered the night she came to him to warn him what his fiancé had done. It wasn't nearly as bad as getting her shot or threatening to kill her, but it was one of the few transgressions he couldn't pass onto his brother. This one he had to own for himself. He had doubted her intentions and screamed in her face. And she had taken it with the same grace and disappointment she had his words that day._

 _Now there he was again, belittling her and making her doubt herself. Only this time it was to spare her the pain she seemed determined to inflict upon herself. Eventually, they would find Jason's body, and when they did, he didn't want that to be her last memory of her first love._

 _The blonde heard a noise and his head jerked that direction. Only then did he notice the bright colors streaking the sky._

' _Time to head back,' he thought, forgetting the reason he'd looked over in the first place._

 _He took a few steps and heard another crack, like fronds snapping under the weight of something._

 _Instinctively, he reached for his gun._

" _Hello," he shouted, taking a defensive stance._

 _The symphony of the jungle was his only response._

 _Two more steps and another snap. He was definitely being stalked. The question was by man or beast._

 _He surveyed the landscape for any sign of danger, but all he could see were trees and plants, some wildlife, but nothing large enough to cause that sound._

' _The animals aren't fleeing' he noted mentally._

 _A predator would probably have them on edge._

 _Three more steps and another snap._

 _Drew whirled around, gun in hand._

" _Show yourself you son of a bitch!"_

 _A maniacal chuckle filled the air, followed by a tsk and the click of a gun being cocked behind his head._

" _Now, now, Andrew. Is that any way to greet an old friend," someone hissed in his ear._

* * *

 _The brunette peered down at her compass and then over to the setting sun. If she wanted to be back before nightfall she'd have to turn back soon. But something inside kept spurring her deeper into the heart of the forest. Probably her own stubbornness, she thought. After all, there was nothing she despised more than being told what she could and could not do._

 _Of course, Drew hadn't been wrong when he'd pointed out her last investigation was into Morgan's death and the subsequent appearance of her father's sister. It had been nearly a year, of not longer, since she'd focused on unraveling that mystery. But she had come up with the lead that led Jason there in the first place. So obviously her instincts weren't completely extinct._

' _ **If Jason were here, he would tell you to trust yourself,'**_ _the voice whispered, giving her the reminder she needed._

 _Sam removed the gun from her waistline and held it out in front of her._

' _Yeah, well he wasn't there to see me bickering with my imagination,' she rebutted. 'Drew was.'_

 _How could he not worry about her after everything she'd put him through?_

 _She tried to swallow the thickness in her throat._

' _What would it do to him to know she was out there alone?'_

 _She should go back, she decided. She should turn around right there and head for the village. But she didn't. Instead she kept walking forward, squinting her eyes at the outline in the distance._

 _Sam shook her head and giggled at the sunken hut._

' _Now this is more Jason's style,' she mused. It was simple, quiet and guaranteed plenty of privacy. There were definitely no guides or caretakers out there._

 _Her eyebrows scrunched in curiosity as she tiptoed carefully toward the failing structure. From what she could gather it was a death trap any wise person would abandon. Which made it the perfect place to hold someone against their will._

 _Inside, Jason's strength was fading. He'd spent what felt like hours fighting to keep his head up and his eyes open, but to no avail. Eventually, the weight had become too much and he was slowly letting go. Closing his eyes scared him now. But he couldn't stop himself. Just as he was about to give up, he felt a sudden urge of determination._

' _Look up,' something inside him demanded._

 _He summoned his will and slowly lifted his head once more. Again, she was standing in front of him, this time from across the room._

 _She wore a dark black v-neck and jeans. The sunset caught her hair and gave her an ethereal glow. It wasn't real, he knew that, but at the moment he didn't care. Seeing her, made it all hurt less._

 _Her cocoa orbs widened and a small gasp erupted from her lips._

" _Jason," she breathed his name in disbelief, and ran to the center of the room. She fell to her knees, taking his face in her hands._

 _She felt so real._

 _Her thoughts scattered as a warm wave filled her being from head to toe. The fear, the doubt, the knot in her stomach; everything fled and she basked in an overwhelming flood of indescribable elation._

 _He grinned that crooked grin that made her heart skip a beat and before she could stop to think about what she was doing, brought his lips to hers in a soft and tender kiss._


	22. Chapter 20

_**A/N: Yo and Hello, my wonderful readers! I'm humbled and moved by the encouragement my last chapter received. It means so much that you're excited to see what happens next! Also welcome to the new followers. I'm so happy to have you share in this journey.**_

 _ **To the reviewer who said they hope she chooses Drew, I appreciate your interest but the brackets clearly indicate that this is a JaSam story. You're welcome to stay and see how it turns out. All I ask is that you be respectful of my work and the other readers.**_

 _ **And now...the adventure continues.**_

* * *

 _Thanks to Jason Quartermaine's neglected premed courses, Jason Morgan had the misfortune of understanding exactly what was happening in that moment. The lack of fluid in his body had forced his system into shut down mode. This slowed his blood flow, depriving his brain of oxygen, resulting in sensory hallucinations. In short, he could see, hear, smell, feel, and taste her, even if she was on the other side of the world. He hadn't given up. He'd fought for every breath since the night of he cyclone and would continue to do so until he took his last. But just for this moment he would put the battle aside and appreciate the gift his addled brain has conjured._

 _Sam held his face between her hands, searching his eyes for some spark of recognition as he stared almost through her._

 _He knew he'd seen that look of love and concern before, but couldn't place the exact memory. There had been too many to count over the years._

' _She's so good to me,' he thought with a smile._

 _She drew him closer, lifting his chin so that his mouth could meet with hers. Her lips were surprisingly cool, but just as soft as he remembered. And sweet._

 _Jason stretched out as far as the chains would allow, desperate to feel close with her. She leaned in deeper, her chest pressed against his and her fingers teasing the hair at his nape. Every ounce of energy and devotion he had left, he poured into that kiss; until he had to pull back for air._

 _She grazed her lips with her fingers and he ran his tongue over his own. That was when he tasted the vanilla of her lip gloss. Never before had that flavor inspired memories of his wife._

 _He squinted, taking her in once more. She looked...different._

" _Have I seen you in that before?"_

 _His chest rose and fell rapidly as he choked out the question._

 _Her brow crinkled in confusion._

" _My outfit?" She looked down to inspect herself. "Not this one, but you've seen me in plenty like it."_

 _The blonde dropped his head to her shoulder and let out a shaky breath._

 _The relief lasted milliseconds before an alarm went off in the back of his head._

" _I told you not to come after me," he rasped, repositioning his head to the side._

 _She reached up, stroking his cheek._

" _Has that ever stopped me before," she replied in a teasing tone, with a hint of truth lurking beneath._

 _She'd sought out his mother to help him when she was a fugitive wanted for kidnapping and stayed to nurse him back to health when he'd requested she go after Michael and Kristina on the run. Following orders had never been her strong suit, especially when Jason's life hung in the balance._

 _He smirked at her response, knowing she was right. No matter what he had written in that letter, even if there had been no letter, she would have come for him. Just as he would for her._

" _Thank you," he paused to catch his breath. "For not listening to me. For not giving up."_

 _The brunette smiled at his gratitude, silently evaluating his condition._

" _Thank me when I get you out of here," she said in the most lighthearted tone she could muster._

 _She was trying to put on a brave face, but the injuries were quickly piling up. His lips were cracked and his tongue was like sandpaper. Both were symptoms of dehydration. His skin had been like fire when she touched his face, which could have been due to the sweltering heat of the islands, but was more likely contributed to infection. His breathing was labored and judging by his confusion when she first showed up, he was hallucinating as well. All of this was problematic, but her greatest concern was the untreated bullet wound in his left shoulder._

 _Sam pushed herself up off the ground to examine his restraints and swore under her breath as she added metal burns and lack of circulation to her inventory._

" _Seriously," she muttered, tracing the iron til she located the padlock holding it in place. "Who chains somebody up in the middle of the jungle?"_

 _Jason knew she meant the question rhetorically, but felt obligated to inform her exactly what kind of peril she'd put herself in._

" _Jerry Jax."_

 _He heard the padlock clank as it fell._

 _In his mind he could see her; eyes wide, mouth slightly open, muscles tense._

" _Wha- why would Jerry be here?"_

 _What were the chances Jason would just happen upon the man who had left him for dead in Mexico and poisoned the Port Charles water supply? The same man who had held Jason's first love and lifelong friend hostage for months on end. That seemed like an awfully big coincidence._

' _ **Unless,'**_ _the voice spurred her on._

" _He knew you would come," she finished the thought aloud._

 _Jason let out a long slow breath, fighting off another dizzy spell. Passing out was not an option, especially in front of Sam._

" _Did Drew come with you," he asked, his head drooping toward his right shoulder._

 _The brunette focused her attention to the task at hand. She'd brought a knife and gun for protection and her phone for emergency communication. She had a compass to navigate through the forest, but the one thing she didn't have was what she currently needed; her lock picking kit._

" _He didn't want me to come alone," she explained, hiking up her pant leg and removing her dagger from its brace._

 _A pregnant pause settled over them as she stuck the tip of the blade into the keyhole and began searching for the wrench inside._

" _Then he got what he wanted."_

 _Her hands stilled momentarily._

" _What would Jerry want with Drew?"_

 _Jason clenched his fists until his knuckles turned white. He was tired and lightheaded, but he couldn't risk falling asleep._

" _He said they had unfinished business. Whatever that means."_

 _Her mental gears chewed on this new piece of the puzzle as her hands began to move again._

 _Jason had come to the island searching for clues about what happened to them five years ago after he'd been shot and Jerry had been lying in wait. Which meant he knew the search for answers would lead them there and had likely been involved in the swap somehow. Nothing about that felt suspicious. Jerry Jax was a despicable human being who was capable of just about anything._

 _An image of the villain approaching her and Patrick in Amsterdam flickered through her mind, demanding ELQ shares for Luke's safe return. Only they'd gotten Ashton instead._

" _I think Jerry was working for Helena a few years back," she said as she rotated the padlock for a better angle. Not that it mattered. No matter which position she tried, she couldn't hit the wrench just right. And even if she could, she had nothing to pick it open with._

 _The blonde squirmed in place._

" _That would make sense. He's worked with Faison too. Either one could have hired him."_

 _That still didn't explain the "unfinished business" with Drew, though neither one brought it up. Both had more immediate priorities._

' _ **Could Drew have been involved too?'**_

 _The brunette dug harder inside the lock until she heard a sickening crack. She pulled back the blade to find the tip had broken off inside._

' _ **How well do you really know him?'**_

 _She threw the knife down on the ground in a huff of defeat._

' _Can you not see I'm a little busy right now,' she snarled back at the voice in her head._

 _Sam turned the lock upside down, but the missing piece was jammed inside. In her impatience and frustration, she'd made Jason's rescue that much more difficult. The sky was already streaked in orange and pink; a sure sign that nightfall would soon follow._

' _Maybe Drew was right.' She scolded herself for branching out on her own and breaking his trust in the process._

 _Jason had been shot, shackled, and forced to endure pain on every level since the night Jerry had found him. But nothing pierced him so deeply as the sense that Sam, his strong, fearless, resilient Sam, had lost faith in herself._

 _His fingers wiggled in place until they found hers. He couldn't hold her the way he wanted, but he could have this much because she needed it from him._

" _Jerry might come back soon." He laced their fingers together. "You shouldn't be here when he does."_

 _He felt something wet on the back of his hand. Tears._

" _You shouldn't be either Jason." There was an edge in her voice as she spoke the words. "Without the right tools, I can't pick the lock, but maybe if we can shift this column-"_

 _She started to let go, but he held on._

" _We can't. This beam is the only thing keeping the roof from falling in."_

 _Sam looked up and saw that he was right. She'd known he would be, of course, but she was desperate to find a solution. So far, she could only see one and she knew her husband wouldn't approve._

" _Then I'm just going to have to wait for Jerry to show up and make him let you go."_

 _The blonde's spine straightened when he heard this._

" _Sam-" but she kept talking, refusing to acknowledge his objection._

" _Because I promised Danny I would bring his daddy home and that's exactly what I'm going to do. Even if you don't like how I do it."_

 _His chest rose and fell more rapidly as he struggled to speak over her._

" _Think about Danny, and Scout, and how much they need you. I want to go home Sam, more than anything, but I don't want you risking your life to save mine."_

 _Her chocolate orbs flared with temper as she pulled away._

" _Well, that's not up to you, Jason!" She snapped angrily. "I got you into this mess, and if I want to stay and help get you out, that's my choice to make."_

 _He turned his head toward the side, straining to catch a glimpse of her._

" _You think this is your fault?" He asked, bewildered._

 _She sighed, running her hand down the center of her head and holding her hair back from her face._

" _I gave you the files that told you to come here. You never would have walked into Jerry's trap if I hadn't."_

 _He swallowed hard, but the act brought no relief._

" _Jerry planned this. He wanted it to happen. If it hadn't been here, it would have been somewhere else," he reasoned._

 _His tone softened._

" _Sam, there's nothing you did or didn't do, to cause this. There's nothing you could have done to change it."_

 _She titled her head to the sky and released her hair, letting it fall._

" _That's not true." She said, shaking her head. "I could have kept those files to myself. I could have made sure you weren't alone. I could have come with you or fought harder to make you stay...I should never told you to go out that night. I should have made you stay with me and Danny."_

 _Her rambling thoughts had come pouring out one by one until she'd struck the heart of her guilt. She blamed herself for Jason's shooting and everything that had followed._

 _That one simple truth made him burn all over; his eyes, his throat, his chest. Every part of him ached with shame for not having realized this sooner and putting her fears to rest._

" _That's not who you are, Sam," he whispered with love and awe, hoping she could hear both._

" _When you care about someone you give them everything you have. Acceptance, respect, love that they don't have to earn or live in fear of losing."_

 _Everything he had hoped for, but never expected to find._

" _Please, don't change because of me or what happened. Don't let fear make you into someone you're not."_

 _A sudden gunshot thundered through the peaceful calm of the rainforest. Sam flinched, frozen in place, her mind reeling._

" _That's probably Jerry," Jason said, with a watchful eye on Sam. "He sounds close. You should go."_

 _The brunette shook her head in reply._

 _Inside she was quivering. Not out of fear for herself, but for Drew, who was somewhere out there searching, and for Jason, who was barely hanging on by a thread. And yeah, okay, maybe a little for herself too, but she refused to show it._

 _The image of Drew bleeding out in the forest popped into her head and she was instantly torn in two. Half of her wanted to run to him and the other half had already dug in her heels at his brother's side. A choice had to be made, and judging by the proximity of that shot, very soon._

 _She glanced back at him over her shoulder, determination in her eyes. "I'm not going anywhere," she insisted._

 _Curtis would look out for Drew. Someone had to stay and get Jason through the night._

* * *

 _With the cock of the gun, Drew felt his senses heighten. His heart raced. Adrenaline coursed through his veins, and his muscles tensed. He was poised to strike. All he needed was an opening. Then he heard the voice and it was like a switch had been flipped inside. His mind flooded with images of all the terrible things the person standing behind him had done and all the ways this individual had hurt the people who mattered most to him. His reaction was nothing short of visceral disgust. Suddenly, he was no longer thinking like a strategist, but like an enemy._

 _He closed his eyes and fought for composure._

 _From what he could recall, Jerry was cunning and cruel, but not bloodthirsty. He enjoyed inflicting pain, but only took life as a means to an end or on command. Blind rage was a great motivator, but if he allowed that hatred to fuel his actions he might never make it back to Sam. And that was not an option._

 _The fiend sighed impatiently._

" _You're not giving me the silent treatment are you?"_

 _That was another thing he remembered about Jerry. He was a talker. Which could prove useful, if properly exploited._

" _Honestly, Andrew, why must you spoil my fun? You know how I enjoy a good verbal spar."_

 _Drew did know this about him, but not for the reason he believed. In fact, this man knew more about Andrew Cain than he did. Which put the former SEAL at a severe disadvantage._

" _Do you greet all your friends this way," he asked, mimicking the smarmy tone of his captor._

 _Jerry angled his head and scrunched his face in consideration._

" _Mmm, pretty much, occupational hazard." He chuckled at his own joke. "I'm sure you understand."_

' _Of course I do,' he thought, "all your "friends" are criminals and victims.'_

 _The blonde snickered._

" _Not a lot of trust between murderers and thieves, I take it."_

 _Had his back not been turned, he'd have seen Jerry grin._

" _Well, let's test that theory. Shall we? I'll ask you to toss your weapon over that bank over there, as a show of good faith. There's a lovely mudslide on the other end, so once it's gone, I'm afraid there's no retrieving it. Then we'll see how much honor a murderer and thief have between them."_

 _The words were like ice water to his system._

 _He peered back at the villain; a man who had taken an entire hotel hostage, sold Sam to a drug Cartel as a prostitute, stalked children, and killed many._

" _Which one does that make me," he asked, before he could stop himself._

 _Jerry shrugged, eyes twinkling with amusement. He was enjoying this game of cat and mouse a little too much for Drew's liking._

" _I suppose that depends who you ask."_

 _The answer was diplomatic and vague._

" _I'm asking you!" He shot back heatedly, his frustration getting the better of him._

 _Jerry's face hardened._

" _You're stalling. Perhaps you require incentive. You have an imagination. Just picture the look on Sweet Sam's face when she discovers your lifeless body in this very spot."_

 _He leaned closer and hissed "how long before she goes running to your brother, you think? Assuming I haven't already killed him, that is."_

 _Drew's first reaction was to attack. But there was no space between his head and Jerry's gun. He'd be dropped before he could even turn around. No, he'd have to think his way out._

" _Fine," he grumbled, tossing his gun over the ledge as requested._

 _Jerry smirked and made a low whistling noise as the revolver sailed through the air and out of sight, his aim skewed momentarily from the target._

 _Instinctively, the blonde reacted, pivoting on his heel, out of the line of fire. His arm went up and under, catching Jerry's in the crook of his elbow. He stepped in, turning sideways, jamming his other elbow straight into his adversary's face._

" _Bloody hell!" He cried out, attempting to shield himself with his free hand._

 _Drew raised his knee and struck to the hip, causing his victim to stagger. He then reached for the gun, a stray shot firing off into the distance. With Jerry's arm in a vice and his eye already starting to swell, he was rendered defenseless when what had originally been his prey pushed the gun out of his hand, taking it for himself. Only then he release his grip, allowing his rival to crumble on the jungle floor._

" _You were right," the blonde fixed both hands firmly on the weapon, staring down the man he'd just taken it from._

' _Guess that makes me the thief,' he mused inwardly._

" _It is more fun when you're the one holding the gun."_

 _Jerry coughed and sputtered, blood dripping from his eyebrow where the elbow had made contact._

" _Don't be such a braggart Andrew. It's unbecoming." He grinned menacingly. "Besides, we both know how quickly the tables can turn."_

 _He made a twirling motion with his finger._

 _There was a rustling through the trees, growing fasted and closer with each step. Something or someone was headed their way at an alarming pace._

" _That's probably my partner," he told his new captive._

" _Two against one hardly seems sporting. Perhaps we should even the odds._

 _Drew tensed, prepared to defend himself but Jerry leap from the ground and hurled himself over the embankment. It wasn't the cleanest getaway, but the freshly churned mud flowed down like a wave, carrying him further from the former SEAL's eye and range._

 _On his way down the hill, he scooped up the cast off firearm and waved it for his audience of one to see. They were even now, and he wanted it known._

 _It happened so fast there was nothing to be done. All he could do was stand and watch while Jerry slipped further from his reach. One good thing had come out of their encounter. He now knew which direction to search in the morning. There would be no more time meandering across the map. They could now go straight to the source._

" _Hey!" He turned his head to see Curtis running toward him. "I heard shots. You alright, man?"_

 _He followed his friend's gaze to the bottom of the mound, just in time to see Jerry slip into the trees._

 _The blonde looked over toward the setting sun._

" _Yeah, I'll explain later.," he said clapping his companion on the shoulder. "Right now, we've got to get back to the village._

* * *

 _Jerry was still mumbling a string of obscenities when he entered the ramshackle hut. He laid Drew's gun to the side and immediately began working to free himself from his muddy clothing._

" _You're brother put up quite a fight," he said, as his fingers worked the buttons of his ruined dress shirt._

 _He looked over to the lifeless form strapped to the support beam. The last time he'd come to visit with the prisoner he'd been alive and awake, but struggling to remain conscious. Now his eyes were closed and his chest was still. If he wasn't dead yet, he would be soon. Thankfully, now that Andrew was present, he could complete his assignment and move on before the body began to stink up the place._

" _He's a bit more talkative than you were."_

 _His arms were pried free of the mud caked garment and he reached for the buckle of his pants. Island or not, he couldn't bring himself to trade his stylish business wear for naked legs and boxed shorts._

" _But equally protective of your beloved, for whatever that's worth."_

 _His eyes twinkled with mischief as he slid his pants down and kicked them off to the side._

" _You know, I really should pay her a visit while we're both here. It's been too long."_

 _Jerry zipped the clean pair of pants and stalked closer to Jason's body. He stared at his face and waited, finally he shrugged and stepped back._

" _If that didn't get a rise out of you, you must be worm food,"_

 _He chuckled to himself, grabbed the gun from its resting place and went back out into the forest for his own home away from home._

 _Jason counted to ten before opening his eyes and searching the darkness for Sam._

 _She poked her head out from her hiding place, shame stricken._

" _What happened?"_

 _Her plan had been to wait for his return, take him by surprise, and demand Jason's release. But when the moment came and she had him literally pants down, her mind had flooded with every worst case scenario imaginable, and she'd missed her opportunity._

" _I panicked." She sounded so small and remorseful when she spoke; like a child. "I just kept picturing all the ways I could mess up and what he'd do to us if that happened."_

 _She combed her hair back with both hands._

" _I'm sorry, Jason. I don't know what made me think I could do this."_

 _Jason couldn't believe what he was hearing. From their very first encounter in the PCPD interrogation room, she had proven herself to be good in a crisis. She hadn't been intimidated by their threats to charge her with aiding and abetting, though he knew some part of her had likely wanted to break down in tears. Every day since had only reaffirmed that assessment of her character._

' _What could have happened to change that,' he wondered._

" _Sam, do you trust me?"_

 _She appeared taken aback by his question._

" _Well, yeah, you've only saved my life like," she reached into the sky for an imaginary figure. "A thousand times," she guessed._

 _The blonde nodded._

" _So you trust me because I'm consistent?"_

 _The brunette sat down next to him pulling her feet under her body._

" _That's not the only reason," her eyes went soft "but it helps."_

 _He nodded again and looked up at her; a warm intensity staring back at her._

" _And who saved you before I came along?"_

 _She answered that question without skipping a beat._

" _That's easy," she threw her hand up in the air. "No one."_

 _He leveled her with patient stare._

" _You saved yourself Sam. And not just you. You saved your brother..." he paused and sighed, catching his breath. "You saved me."_

 _She threw her head back and laughed skeptically._

" _Only you would think that " she said, barely touching him with the tip of her index finger._

 _He strained as far as he could from the column that held him in place._

" _I wouldn't say it if it wasn't true."_

 _She shook her head, the ghost of a smile on her lips. "I know you wouldn't, but it doesn't change the fact that you're stuck here, Jason, and I've been no help at all."_

 _She rolled her eyes at her own oversight._

" _If I'd just brought my lock pick kit this wouldn't be happening."_

 _The blonde cocked a brow, his expression growing pensive._

" _Is it on the island?"_

 _The brunette thought back to the night she'd packed her bag._

" _I think so. It should be. Why?"_

 _He looked over at her, a spark of hope in his eyes. "I think I know someone who can help us."_


	23. Chapter 21

_**A/N: Hello, wonderful readers! I hope that you enjoyed the last chapter and the Jasam scenes this week! (I know I did)**_

 _ **I will tell you the opening**_ _ **scene didn't go at all how I originally planned but I think it's better for veering off course.**_

 _ **As always, thank you for every view, follow, fave, and review! I really do adore hearing your thoughts and feelings on the story.**_

 _ **I realize there are some reading who don't prefer my chosen endgame, but I hope that won't deter you from enjoying the story. Also no matter how many times you say she should end up with Drew, that's not going to happen here.**_

* * *

 _Sam cracked open the bottle of water in her hands and raised it to Jason's lips._

" _I don't like this," she said, lowering her hand to give him a chance to breathe. "Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for everything she's done. I know you couldn't have made it this far without her help-"_

" _So does she," He interjected. "That's why she won't stay away, no matter how many times I've told her to."_

 _The brunette felt herself relax as she looked up at her husband and shook her head._

 _Again, she lifted the bottle to his lips._

" _I know, I'm not blaming you. It's just, she's a kid. You know?"_

 _Her mother's heartbroken expression flashed through Sam's mind._

" _They don't even know she's alive. They think you both disappeared in the storm."_

 _She wiped away the droplet of water that had escaped his mouth and slid down his chin. Her gaze hovered at his lips before raising to his eyes._

" _They said you two were close." She spoke barely above a whisper. "That you were looking for her before the cyclone hit."_

 _There was an unspoken question in that statement, which Jason instantly recognized._

" _Yeah, she used to follow me out here. So when she wasn't around I thought maybe."_

 _He cleared his throat, but it still felt scratchy._

" _Anyway, I found her, not far from here actually. She was stuck on a rope bridge."_

 _Sam leaned closer, hanging on his every word. It hadn't surprised her to learn that Vella had taken a shine to him. Children always sensed that he was good and trustworthy._

" _The wind had picked up. It was waving all over the place, about to snap."_

 _He didn't have to say the rest. She knew what happened. Jason helped her somehow and before he could make it back to the village, Jerry shot him._

 _She rooted through the handful of daily rations. There wasn't much on hand; some cheese it's, a stick of jerky, and some instant soup mix. The island ate meals together so any provisions gifted throughout the day were purely for snacking purposes._

" _You think we could manage a fire," she glanced back at him from the corner of her eye._

 _The blonde shook his head._

" _Not without drawing attention to ourselves."_

 _She nodded and ripped the plastic surrounding the jerky right down the middle._

" _You're right." Her gaze lowered to the floor. "I should have known that."_

 _Her eyes snapped back up to his face._

" _I'm sorry, Jason. I should have gone back when you asked me to. I haven't done a single thing right since I got here." Her words gathered momentum as they poured out. "I forgot my kit, I let my phone die, I broke my knife off in the lock."_

 _She threw a hand up in surrender._

" _I'm glad you're here," he sliced through her self-recrimination with that one sentence. "From the minute I got here, I wanted to share it with you."_

 _The brunette cracked a smile._

" _It kind of reminds me of Hawaii," her gaze dipped back down again and she fidgeted with the edges of the wrapper. "You know...before."_

 _She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, refusing to be sucked back into one of the worst memories of her life._

" _Me too."_

 _Sam had loved Hawaii. They both had. But he couldn't imagine taking her back there after their honeymoon. That was just one of the many reasons he despised Franco._

" _Maybe I shouldn't have said that," his doubt caused her to look up._

 _Her brow furrowed._

" _Why not?"_

 _Jason's jaw temporarily clenched._

" _Because I know it hurts you to think about it..." he swallowed hard. "And because I promised I wouldn't push you."_

 _They sat there silently watching one another, while Sam gauged her emotions and fought for the courage to speak. After several seconds that seemed to pass like hours, she finally found her voice._

" _You're not doing anything wrong by telling me how you feel," she brushed her hair back behind her ear._

 _If only she'd thought to bring a hair tie or a clip. Hell, she'd settle for chopsticks or a pen at present._

 _She looked into Jason's remorseful gaze and the complaint was forgotten._

" _We've always been honest with each other," subconsciously her fingers peeled back the wrapper some more. "I don't want that to change."_

 _Her shoulders rose and fell with a heavy sigh._

" _And if I'm being honest, yeah, thinking about our last day in Hawaii...it's painful. But we made a lot of beautiful memories there."_

 _Her dark orbs shimmered with unshed tears._

" _We made our son there," her head angled to the side. "And I will be damned if I let Franco take that from us." The name was ground out in a tone of repugnance. "So don't be sorry, okay? Because I'm not."_

 _The blonde's chin dropped to his chest._

" _I should have handled it better."_

 _She caught his tortured gaze as he lifted his head and it left her breathless. Five years, and god knew what else between them, and he was still kicking himself for his mistakes._

" _We already talked about this, Jason. It's water under the bridge."_

" _I hurt you," he persisted, heatedly, but she wasn't about to sit there and listen to him blame himself for the damage someone else had caused._

" _You were hurting too. Jason, you were drugged. You were held against your will and forced to watch, knowing you couldn't do anything to stop it."_

 _Her hand combed anxiously through her messy waves._

" _We both made mistakes." Her voice trembled as she fought back tears of regret. "I should have let you take me to a doctor."_

 _At least then she could know for certain what she'd endured._

" _I should have agreed to counseling instead of trying to deal with it by myself," she continued, her words once again taking on a life of their own. "I broke your trust and then I walked out on you. I didn't give you time to think or space to figure out how you felt. I just left. Maybe if I hadn't, Danny never would have ended up with Tea."_

 _She ran her thumb beneath her eye to catch the tear before it could fall._

" _Don't do that to yourself,_ _Sam. Heather and Todd are the reason we lost that time with him. You can't take responsibility for their actions."_

" _And you can't blame yourself for not knowing how to help me when you were just as traumatized as I was," she fired back without missing a beat._

 _She tossed her head back with a sigh and let out a breathless chuckle._

" _What is it about these life or death situations? It seems like every time we're in one we end up rehashing the past."_

 _The woman had a point. In Mexico, they talked about their mistakes. In the woods, they talked about Mexico. When they water was poisoned, Sam told him her dream of what might have been their life. There was no denying the pattern._

" _What would you rather talk about?"_

 _His eyebrows knit together, then released._

 _Sam shrugged and held out the jerky for him to bite into._

" _Honestly, I'd rather be snorkeling right now."_

 _Jason paused, the corner of his mouth tilted upward._

" _I'd rather be watching you snorkel," he said before biting down. He chewed slowly and when he was done, she lifted the bottle to his lips to wash it down._

' _He can't possibly be flirting with me right now.'_

' _ **Oh I think he is,'**_ _she could practically hear the amusement in her head._

" _Well, this is definitely not that kind of vacation," she lowered the bottle and took a small swig for herself. The salty taste lingered on the rim._

" _In fact, I can only think of three legit vacations we ever went on. The first two were because you were sick, and the third was-"_

 _Their honeymoon..._

" _A special occasion."_

 _She offered him another drink which he accepted. Though it didn't seem to be helping much._

" _Maybe when things settle down we could take Danny on one, someplace fun."_

 _The suggestion was met with a gorgeous smile and eyes that twinkled with humor._

" _I can't really picture you at Disneyland," she giggled, and he found himself laughing too._

" _Did I say Disney?"_

 _That wasn't entirely true. She had pictured him at Disney, in mouse ears no less...with their son Danny and the daughter they were supposed to have..._

 _A few months before, she'd believed that dream to be a reality, but the truth was more complicated._

 _When she didn't respond, he knew he'd triggered her somehow, and decided to redirect the conversation._

" _You should get some rest. There's nothing else to do but wait."_

 _The brunette laughed again._

" _Where Jason? On the floor. There's no way I'd be able to sleep like that."_

 _He gestured for her to come closer._

" _Use me," he said, looking down at his legs."_

 _Her gaze followed his and she realized exactly what he was proposing. She looked back up at him, her dark spheres swirling with conflict._

" _Please, just...try."_

 _She did as requested, resting her head on his lap._

" _Now just close your eyes and focus on your breathing," his voice was low and soothing and the brunette sighed contentedly after a few deep breaths._

" _Imagine I'm running my fingers through your hair," he whispered, making her smile, and guiding her off to dreamland. Within minutes she had drifted off._

 _Jason smiled down at her sleeping figure, and a bittersweet wave of emotion washed over him. Out there, alone in the jungle, they were exactly who they had always been. But somewhere out there was his brother, who Sam also loved. And if he was being honest, he wanted her for himself._

* * *

 _Drew sat alone outside; staring blankly over the horizon. There was something about being close to the water he liked. It reminded him of her. Maybe because of her nomadic upbringing or her love of the ocean? Whatever the cause, he didn't care as long as he could feel her._

' _She's okay,' he told himself, but couldn't quite make himself believe it. 'She has to be.'_

 _Sam was the axis on which his world spun. But more than that, she was the love of his life and the mother of his child. Everything good in his life began with her._

' _This is my fault' he scolded silently, thinking back on the threats Jerry had made to "even the odds."_

 _Curtis squatted down, took a seat beside his friend and waited._

'" _I didn't believe her," he deadpanned, still looking straight ahead. "She said Jason was in danger, and I was so jealous she was thinking about him, that I couldn't hear what she was saying."_

 _The blonde heaved a sigh and shook his head._

" _She knew he was trying to protect her from someone and I told her she was wrong."_

 _He squeezed his eyes closed and leaned his head back._

" _I told her she couldn't handle it."_

 _Finally, he turned to face his companion; the image of a broken man._

" _And now he has her...and I put it in her head that she's powerless against him."_

 _In his attempt to protect her from a broken heart and traumatic experience, he'd left her vulnerable to a threat he hadn't believed existed. He'd let his concern overshadow his judgement, and now he was sure Sam was paying the price of his hubris._

 _Curtis couldn't help but kink a brow in confusion._

" _Your girl is many things, but powerless isn't one of em'. She's a force when she wants to be."_

 _Drew chuckled under his breath._

" _You don't have to tell me," he said, fighting back a smile. "I can always count on her to put me in my place and tell it like it is."_

 _That was how knew she had to have been taken. Sam had no fear when it came to going against him. If she had been set on going, she'd have walked out the door right in front of him. Nothing he'd said could have stopped her._

" _Sam's got a good head on her shoulders and a lot to live for. She's not gonna let this guy take that from her."_

 _His words of assurance barely broke the surface. Try as he might, Drew couldn't find comfort in them._

" _Did you talk to Mary," the blonde asked, shifting his focus from the problem to the solution._

" _Sure did." Curtis nodded and paused. "Why don't you get some rest? There's nothing else we can do right now."_

 _He shook his head, knowing he couldn't sleep even if he wanted._

" _I think I'll sit out here a little longer. But you should go ahead."_

 _His friend offered a sympathetic smile and a pat on the shoulder before he rose and returned to the overcrowded schoolhouse, leaving Drew alone with his thoughts._

 _He looked up at the stars, bright and shining overhead. In Port Charles, his problems had seemed so big and important. But out there, in the wake of the storm and the dread of what may come, he felt immeasurably small. He hadn't felt that way since being Jake Doe. Back when he'd wandered around with a made up name and the belief that he meant nothing to no one._

' _Was that how he'd made his brother feel?'_

 _The thought materialized without will or explanation._

 _He hadn't known Jason, nor had he cared for the little he did know. He barely thought of them as related. But they had been. They had been created and brought into the world together, and now he was alone again._

 _A strange sense of melancholy struck him with that realization. It was something he hadn't noticed or allowed himself to feel before. And now that he had, he wasn't quite sure what to do with it._

 _His brother was gone..._

 _And Sam might be too if he didn't choose his next move very carefully_

 _There was no concept of time as he sat there ruminating. He didn't notice when the stars disappeared or the sun peeked over the horizon and chased the darkness away. He was lost; drifting in the void her absence had created. It wasn't until Curtis came to get him that he realized it was morning._

 _Looking back, it was obvious that Jerry wanted something from him. He could have knocked him out or pulled the trigger; either option would have left him free and clear. But he'd wanted Drew to know he was there. He'd deliberately made his presence known and taken great pleasure in their interaction._

' _But for what?'_

 _Whatever he was after,_ _Drew didn't have it. Andrew Cain did. That version of himself no longer existed, and had taken his secrets with him._

 _He'd done well hiding the truth so far, but eventually, Jerry would realize he was dealing with a new man. Sam would no longer be leverage at that point, she'd be a liability, or maybe even a punishment. There was no reason for him to keep her alive after that._

" _They're unloading the stuff." He turned back to see his partner standing behind him. "We should get over there."_

 _The blonde nodded and lifted himself from the beach, dusting the sand from his pants._

 _It had taken everything in him not to go running into the rainforest the night before, but Curtis had been there to make him reconsider. There were predators in there, and they couldn't navigate in the dark. The best thing they could do for Sam was lure Jerry out of hiding and force him to surrender. And without knowing what he wanted, there was only one way to do that. Strike where he was most vulnerable._

 _Mary and her crew of three were nearly finished unpacking by the time Drew and Curtis reached the center of the village. Two of the men carried the perishables off so the cooks could prepare breakfast, while their director and the third man stayed behind to stack supplies._

" _Gentlemen," the woman greeted them with both hands full and a labored smile. "Welcome to the provision line."_

 _She sat the last box down and opened it up to peruse through its contents while handing out assignments._

" _You'll each take a station, people will come through. You give them the specific ration;" her eyes came up narrowed, "no more, no less."_

 _She then handed them each their daily dose of anti bacterial meds and a bottle of water._

" _I've asked Joe to stay close by, in case you need anything." She gestured to the man standing beside her. "Breaks are one at a time, and not unless you have someone to step in."_

 _The lines of her face softened._

" _I understand this is a delicate mission and you have a lot riding on its success."_

 _She was looking directly at Drew_

 _now._

" _If something happens, and you need immediate release, you can use this."_

 _She held up a small hollowed out shell that could serve as a whistle._

" _The others know to listen for it."_

 _She smiled gently, and walked past him, heading back toward the cooking station, he assumed to help with the meal rations._

 _Drew stood numbly, staring at the shell, then turning his gaze toward the jungle._

" _It's gonna work," Curtis promised, taking his place in front of the food pile._

 _The blonde met his eyes, but said nothing as he positioned himself at the head of the water line._

 _The task was simple and repetitive. He didn't have to think about what he was doing or pay much attention. All he had to do was hand them the bottle and make sure they took only one. While he worked, his eyes scanned the village limits, searching for any sign of movement. Now that they'd cut off his access to food and water, it was only a matter of time until Jerry revealed himself._

 _Time passed slowly as the faces of villagers filtered through the line. Men, women, and children with their hands out, desperate to survive. In those faces he could see himself and his own loved ones._

 _A young girl caught his attention as she neared the front of the line. She couldn't have been any older than Jake, but there she was. But unlike the rest, she appeared more interested in Drew himself than the stack of waters behind him. She wasn't looking beyond him or through him, but right at him. Her eyes never left his as she worked her way closer, until finally she was standing opposite of him, still staring as he placed the bottle in her little hands._

 _When she didn't move he bent down and met her at eye level._

" _I'm sorry, I can only give you one."_

 _The child showed no emotion as she reached for his hand. She pried his fingers back and placed the small, ornate compass in his palm, exactly as she'd been instructed._

 _Instinctively, his hand closed around the object._

 _Only then did she smile and walk away._

 _The experience was so surreal it took Drew a moment to grasp. His eyes fell to the hand she had taken and the necklace inside it._

 _Sam had been wearing it during their fight._

' _Was this a message from her or Jerry,' he wondered._

 _His gaze shot up to the throng of people surrounding them, searching for the girl. He spotted her walking toward the schoolhouse with provisions in hand._

 _Desperate, he called out to her, but she didn't turn around. Then he remembered the shell in his pocket. He pulled it out and blowed, sending out a signal of distress. The sound attracted the attention of everyone and suddenly there was another cry from across the beach._

" _Vella?!" A woman shrieked from across the way, and broke out into a run, heading straight for the same girl._

 _Unable to wait a second longer, Drew took off too, abandoning his post. He looked back, thankful to see Joe had come to relieve him just in time, and collided right into one of the villagers._

 _The woman scrambled to her feet in record time, rushing toward the schoolhouse entrance. Drew picked himself up off the ground and followed, equally eager to reach the child._

 _When they reached the building it was empty. Not a soul lingered, and not a thing seemed out of place. She had vanished._

 _The woman shook her head violently in denial. "No! I know- I saw her!" She sagged against the entrance, tears forming in her eyes. "I was sure I saw her."_

 _She sobbed harder, fighting for air._

" _I really thought she was there..."_

 _Drew looked down at the necklace in his hands. He didn't know if it was her daughter or not, but the child was real. And she had come to him with a message._

 _Mary tiptoed into the schoolhouse, surveying the damage._

" _I'm sorry," he apologized for taking off without a substitute, but she smiled her sad gentle smile and waved off the apology. She then took the grieving woman in her arms and guided her back toward the village._

 _The blonde collapsed down on the bed his wife had never gotten the chance to sleep in and sunk his head into his hands._

' _That was probably his plan all along,' he chastised. 'Distract me with the girl, get the supplies, and leave me with nothing.'_

 _Curtis was still out there but he'd barely gotten a glimpse of Jerry. He might not even know him if he saw him._

 _He leaned back on the bed and heard something crumple. He sat back up and reached for the map at the foot of the bed, exactly where he thought they'd left it. As he brought the map closer to his face his heart began to race. The corners of his mouth lifted in a hopeful grin as he traced the red line marked down the center of the unexplored territory they had sectioned off the day before._

 _A surge of joy filled his chest until it ached._

' _Don't worry baby,' he thought, running his thumb over the smooth face of the compass. 'I'm coming for you.'_

 _The former SEAL rose from the bed and took off toward his partner. He had the map, and the compass. Now all he needed was the boatman standing by._

* * *

" _Sam."_

 _The brunette rolled over, leaning into the crook between his chest and his lap._

 _He smirked down at her and tried again._

" _Sam."_

 _She made a small indistinguishable noise and rolled over again; this time laying on her back. Her heavy lids fluttered open and the first thing she saw was blue. She blinked rapidly, adjusting to the light and higher level of consciousness._

" _Jason," she sighed contentedly, looking up at him from his lap._

 _She wasn't sure where she was or why his face was the first thing she saw, but she wasn't complaining. That is, until she tried to move, and her lower back protested._

' _Oh yeah, I'm in the middle of nowhere sleeping on the dirt floor of a hut that's terrifyingly close to caving in on top of my head,' she thought, straining to sit up._

" _How long was I out?"_

 _His ocean eyes darted to the side._

" _I don't really know, but the sun's up now, so I'm guessing a few hours."_

 _Sam reached for the bottle and unscrewed the lid._

" _And did you sleep any of that time," she asked, glancing at him suspiciously._

 _Sleep and losing consciousness weren't the same thing, but he decided it was better not to worry her with those details._

" _Some," he shrugged as much as his chains would allow._

 _Her eyes narrowed as though she didn't quite believe him, but she let the matter drop._

" _Okay," She nodded, lifting the bottle to his lips for him to drink. "So we have no idea how long we slept, or when Vella is supposed to get here, or even if she'll make it back."_

 _She lowered the bottle and took a small sip for herself._

" _Jason, what if something happens to her?"_

 _Again, her thoughts traveled back to the bereaved mother who had been so kind to her that day on the beach._

' _Was that really just yesterday,' she questioned. It felt longer somehow._

 _His eyes locked with hers and a sense of calm immediately washed over her._

 _She hid her face behind her fingers for a moment and then dropped them again._

" _Okay, you're right. I'm letting my imagination run away with me. I just need to stop." She held out both hands on front of her. "Take a breath, and trust myself."_

 _She looked over, seeking his approval._

' _ **That's the exact opposite of trusting yourself'**_ _the voice hissed inwardly._

" _I have to trust you," she said, more for her benefit than his. "And I have to trust Vella. She's a smart girl, and she's done this before. There's no reason this time should be any different."_

 _She looked down at her fidgeting hands with a groan._

" _I hate this!" Those same hands flew up in the air in protest. "When did I become one of those weak females that rings her hands at he first sign of trouble? That's not me!"_

 _Jason hung his head and sighed; partially out of exhaustion and partially because he didn't know. He had a theory, but didn't comfortable committing to it just yet._

" _You're right, it's not," was all he said in reply._

 _Her dark eyes found his in gratitude._

" _I just don't get it..." she nibbled on the flesh of her lower lip. "It's like I woke up in someone else's life and I remember everything about how they got there and why it felt right to them...but I can't make it fit. And I know that person was me and those choices were mine, and at the time it was exactly what I wanted but now..."_

 _She trailed off, unable to complete the thought. Which was perfect timing since they could both hear footsteps nearing the hut._

" _Mr. Jason?"_

 _Vella called out, her voice just above a whisper._

" _Ms. Sam?"_

 _The two collectively released a sigh of relief and the brunette emerged from her hiding place._

 _The ten year old thrust a small black pouch into the older woman's hands. Sam removed two items from the kit and headed straight to the padlock for round two._

" _Did anyone see you?"_

 _She smiled sadly at the blonde._

" _My mom...and your brother," she explained how they had followed her into the schoolhouse giving her little time to escape._

 _Sam and Jason shared a look._

" _This is the last time," he promised softly. "I appreciate everything you've done, but it's time for you to go home."_

 _The girl opened her mouth to object but Sam leapt in before she could._

" _You don't have to worry about Jason, okay? I'm going to take really good care of him."_

' _Make that four people she'd promised.'_

" _I'm going to make sure he gets home safely," she smiled, lifting the broken fragment from the keyhole and held it out for them to see._

" _What about the bad man?"_

 _What about Jerry? She'd been so concerned with getting Jason free that she hadn't stopped to consider how to handle their old foe. The greatest priority was getting her husband food, water, and medical attention as soon as possible. But they couldn't run off and leave him to terrorize the village, could they?_

" _You don't have to worry about him," Jason insisted, his gaze darted from Vella to Sam. "Just start running and don't stop until you reach home, okay?"_

 _The child wrapped her arms around his neck suddenly. She offered Sam one last smile and then she was gone, running as fast and far as her legs would carry her through the jungle._

 _Vella has barely disappeared when he heard a small click. Sam grinned over his shoulder as she freed his wrists._

" _Alright, now it's our turn," she beamed with pride. "Ready to get out of here?"_

 _Jason nodded and reached out for her hand._

 _The spirit was willing, but his body was barely able. After almost two weeks of blood loss, blazing son, and minimal sustenance, Sonny's mighty enforcer could hardly stand, let alone run. Not that he would admit it. No, he tried to walk on his own, but Sam quickly put an end to his efforts. She wrapped his arm around her shoulders, and hers around his waist, and together they finally escaped what Jerry had intended to be Jason's final resting place._

 _They hobbled their way through the jungle with Jason leaning on Sam more than he'd like to believe. The trek was tiresome and time consuming but they couldn't rest. Drew and Curtis would be waiting at the bridge and it was vital they got off the island before sunset._

' _What if Drew and Curtis weren't there?' She hastened their pace._

' _ **Don't think like that!'**_ _The voice snapped._ ' _ **They'll be there.'**_

 _And sure enough, the voice was right. Or at least it was half right. There on the other side of the rope bridge stood Drew. Tears welled up behind his eyelids as he caught sight of Sam running toward him._

 _Peace and happiness pumped throughout his being as his eyes settled on her, alive and safe. But not alone, he realized. His gaze shifted sideways and so did his insides when he saw Jason, his brother, also alive, draped over his wife._

 _He pushed whatever conflicting emotions he had aside and focused on the mission at hand._

" _He's really weak," she explained, untangling their limbs. "He's probably going to need your help getting across."_

 _The former SEAL nodded and stepped in, taking her place at his side._

" _You know, I've got to hand it to you, you must be one tough S.O.B to have held out this long," he grumbled as they stepped onto the rope bridge._

 _Sam was just about to follow when she felt a sharp pain at the back of her head. Her body was moving backward against her will._

 _She cried out, alerting Jason and Drew to her distress. Both brothers turned and saw Jerry holding the woman they love by the scalp of her head. He lifted her up by the hair and took a good long sniff._

" _Sweet Sam," he oozed with a wicked grin, making both men tense._

" _Let her go," Jason ordered, using the last of his energy to stand on his own._

 _Jerry lit up like a five year old at a birthday party._

" _And Jason has risen from the dead, it seems." He looked over at the brunette. "Oh, this just got interesting."_

 _Drew puffed up instinctively, glaring at the man who held his whole world in that one hand._

" _Leave her out of this, Jerry." He growled. "This is between you and me."_

 _Sam winced as he tightened his grip._

" _It's so convenient when two opponents share the same weakness," he chuckled darkly._


	24. Chapter 22

_**A/N: Hello again, my beautiful readers! Welcome new followers and thank you as always for the views, follows, faves, and reviews. Each one means so much to me as a writer!**_

 _ **Please refrain from using emoticons in reviews. The site doesn't acknowledge them and I have no idea what you were trying to tell me.**_

 ** _Also, I have no idea whether Felix still works at the hospital or not, but I'd like to see more of him so today he does_**

 ** _And now, lets get back to the story..._**

* * *

 _Drew and Jason were already shuffling their way across the rope bridge when she felt a sharp pain at the back of her head. She tried to step forward, but her neck snapped, forcing her in the opposite direction. Her first instinct was to run, but she'd lost control of her legs. Her body kept moving back toward the threat against her will. Then he pulled her close and inhaled deeply. Goosebumps covered her arms and her stomach lurched._

 _Then came the sickening nickname he'd dubbed her with all those years ago. On the surface it was just a name. Some might even consider it a term of endearment, but she knew what it really was. It was degradation dressed as flattery; a constant reminder that underneath her growth and good intentions, she was still just the woman who charmed her way into wealthy men's beds for money. She was a sexual object to be used and disposed, and that's exactly what he intended to do._

 _She watched Jason reach for his gun, knowing it wouldn't be there, and saw the shock mixed with horror when he came to the same realization. Still, he stared Jerry down and demanded her release as though his enemy didn't have the upper hand._

 _Of course, Jerry recognized the bluff for what it was and took the opportunity to taunt his victim; an activity he always enjoyed._

 _Drew piped up then, trying to shift the focus from her to him and she felt another sharp tug as Jerry's grip tightened._

' _ **Don't panic!'**_ _The voice shouted, but it was too late. She had already entered the negative thought spiral that accompanied her paranoia._

 _She glanced up at Jason, whose eyes were dark with homicidal intentions. He was weak and defenseless, but that wouldn't stop him from standing his ground._

 _Then her gaze darted over to Drew. To the untrained eye, he appeared calm and determined, but she could sense his unease, and wondered if Jerry could too._

 _That was when he laughed and pointed out their shared weakness. As long as he had her, he was untouchable, and he knew it._

 _Her pulse was racing, but for a different reason now._

 _It happened in a matter of seconds, so fast, she didn't have time to consider her actions or the consequences. She forced her body forward, putting distance between her back and the barrel of Jerry's gun. Once she'd successfully taken back control of her legs, she raised her hands up over her head, latched onto Jerry's fist and locked her core. When he went to pull her back, she thrust herself under his arm until it was twisted behind his back. Instinctively, his grip loosened, eager to free himself of their shared pain._

' _ **Don't forget the gun!'**_ _The voice screamed._

 _Her eyes fell to the back of his knees and her foot followed as she delivered a strong, swift kick just behind the cap. He cried out as his leg buckled and she used his arm to force his chest against the ground._

 _Adrenaline coursed through her system, intermingling with the vestiges of fear. Together they washed over her as a loud satisfying pop came from his shoulder, and she pushed him down further, relishing the heady cocktail of emotions inside her._

 _She looked up at both men hurrying toward them with a radiant smile, wrapping her fingers around the weapon that had been against her back moments before._

 _Jason smirked back while Drew stood slack jawed in awe and confusion._

 _Sam brushed the barrel against her victim's cheek._

" _Looks like you just lost your leverage," she hissed into his ear._

 _Jerry schooled his features to hide the pain she knew he must be feeling._

" _And now that I have the upper hand," she continued with a lyrical sneer, "the only question left is what to do with you."_

 _She squatted lower so that only Jerry could hear._

" _And right now, a bullet through that twisted brain of yours seems like the perfect solution."_

 _He chuckled and then winced, obviously in great discomfort._

" _Is that supposed to scare me," he spat._

 _The brunette shrugged apathetically._

" _Not at all," she outwardly mused. "I've just been doing some thinking and I've realized that every time you come into my life, something bad happens. Hotels explode, or freighters. Someone usually ends up kidnapped or dead, and somehow you manage to always escape without consequences."_

 _She paused to observe his reaction._

 _During his fleeting stint of reform, he'd told her many times that they were alike; a fact she had done everything in her power to ignore and deny, but as she moved the gun from his cheek to his temple she saw the same fascinating expression he'd once described her having; fear and a determination._

" _I doubt even you could dodge a bullet at this range."_

 _A chill ran down Drew's spine as her threat reached his ears._

" _Sam, don't!" He cautioned, while Jason stood without objection at his side._

 _Her dark orbs cut upward to meet his concern filled gaze._

" _Why shouldn't I?" Her voice was calm and cold. "You have Jason's memories. You know what he is, what he's done."_

 _Jerry squirmed beneath her._

" _But if you dispatch of me now, you'll never get the answers you seek," he reminded with a time of amusement._

 _Sam's thumb pressed down on the hammer of the gun._

" _I didn't come here for answers. I came for Jason."_

 _She was tiptoeing the line of decency and didn't seem to care. For the first time in longer than she cared to remember, she wasn't afraid. Holding that gun to her enemy's head she felt powerful and in control. And she knew if she pulled that trigger she'd never have to fear him again._

" _Yes, but why did he come," Jerry challenged. "And why not Andrew? Have you asked yourself that?"_

 _He grinned sadistically, as the energy surrounding them changed and suspicion was cast on a fellow team member._

" _Shall I tell them how you sought me out and begged for an introduction with my employers," he jeered with glee. "How you abandoned your beloved naval team and your high flying morals for the opportunity to walk in your dead brother's shoes?"_

 _Sam looked up at Drew, studying him, as if for the first time. And his heart sunk. Surely, she couldn't be buying Jerry's story._

' _Why not, you are,' his conscience retorted, but he pushed down._

 _While Sam was watching Drew, Jason was observing her._

" _Unless you knew he was alive all that time you were fornicating with his wife and raising his children as your own, which would be both sloppy and vindictive..."_

 _Jason stepped forward with fire in his eyes, ready to pulverize the piece of garbage at his feet, but the strain proved too much for his battered body and he crumpled next to him on the ground._

" _Jason!" The brunette leapt from her position over her captive, running straight to her husband's side._

 _She took his face in her hands and stroked his cheeks with her thumbs, tears of anger and fear pooling in her dark spheres._

" _We did not make it this far for you to give up on me now," she murmured, leaning down to listen to his heartbeat. It was weak but present._

 _Jerry rolled over, attempting to capitalize on Sam's distraction, but just as he started to crawl away a shot rang out and then he felt a fire in his thigh, forcing him back to the ground._

 _Drew, who was used to being the hero in such situations, found himself stumbling to make himself useful. The brunette had effectively bested the villain and was now willing the man she loved back to life with her words and her tears. And she'd done it all without any help from him or Jason._

" _Call Curtis!" She shouted, snapping him back into action. "We need to get off this island now."_

 _She stared back down into Jason's face and prayed she hadn't come all this way for nothing. After everything they had been through and all he had survived, it couldn't end like this._

' _Open your eyes!' She silently demanded. 'Come back to me.'_

* * *

 _Nurse Webber was going over her patient files one last time before calling it a night when the radio crackled to life._

" _Male, forties, GSW in left shoulder, severe malnutrition and dehydration, possible organ damage."_

 _Elizabeth sighed._

 _She loved her job and was grateful for the fruits of her labor; both monetary and emotional. But it had been a long day and she was dead on her feet. Call her selfish, but she wasn't wild about staying over._

 _Felix came up behind her, overhearing the announcement._

" _Go ahead and clock out," he insisted. "I've got this one."_

 _The brunette smiled with appreciation and logged herself out of the system and stepped out from behind the desk. That's when the patient came rolling into the emergency room. Her heart stopped as she recognized his face._

 _She looked up and there at his side was Sam, clinging to Jason's hand, willing him back from the brink of death yet again._

 _A familiar ache lodged itself in her gut. She loved Franco, really she did. He gave her a love that was just for her and rivaled by no one, and she needed that. For him, she wasn't just enough. She was everything._

 _Jason could never have given her that, but some part of her still wished he would._

 _Her feet began to move in the opposite direction of the exit as she followed the gurney to a trauma room. She didn't even notice Drew hovering or the team of doctor's and nurses, swarming to save his life. All she saw was Jason behind that curtain, once again fighting for his life._

" _What the hell happened," she turned toward Sam with a shriek._

 _Drew stepped in, ready to defend the woman he loved._

" _Jason went looking for answers and found Jerry Jax instead."_

 _The nurse spun back around and watched the curtain._

" _How bad is it," she asked, looking up into the face of the man she had once shared a life with._

' _He would never have put me through this,' she thought._

" _Should I call Franco and have him bring Jake? The last thing I want to do is traumatize him more than he's ready been, but if Jason's going to die, shouldn't he have the chance to get closure with his father?"_

 _Samantha turned toward her with a raised hand. At first, Drew thought she might strike his ex, but then she shoved her finger up to the nurse's slender nose._

" _Jason is not going to die!"_

 _Elizabeth sneered, but didn't dare touch her._

" _You don't know that Sam!"_

 _How could she claim to care about Jason and refuse to see the stupidity in his choices?_

" _Jason takes more chances than anyone should and so far he's been lucky, but one day that luck will run out. This could be that day. And even if it's not, and by some miracle he does survive, how long do you think it's going to be before he's right back in this hospital either shot up or blown up, or God knows what else!"_

 _There was a shift behind those dark chocolate eyes; a flicker of fear._

" _We have to stop him, Sam." She spoke softer now, kinder. "He would never listen to me, but if we go in there as a united front and demand that this has to end,"if not for our sakes, then for the boys, he will have to see reason."_

 _She reached out and took both Sam's hands in her own. Her blue eyes sparkled with hope._

 _Neither she or Sam considered one another friends, but they could be allies for a good cause._

" _He'll have to."_

 _The raven haired beauty looked down at their joined hands and her stomach turned. As much as she hated to admit it, Elizabeth had a point. Jason's luck wouldn't last forever. If he kept tempting fate, eventually the worst might happen._

 _But this partnership felt equally wrong._

" _You want me to use our son to force Jason into an ultimatum?"_

 _Liz backpedaled immediately._

" _It sounds awful when you put it like that. We aren't threatening him," exactly, "we're just helping him understand that Jake and Danny need a father and it's not fair to them for him to come back and claim that title if he isn't going to do everything in his power to stay with them."_

 _Sam nibbled the corner of her lip, and turned toward Drew. He'd made a similar argument just after Christmas and she'd vehemently shut him down. Why wasn't she doing that now?_

" _I know you were all "ride or die" before, but you understand now. That's why you encouraged Drew to get out of Sonny's business-"_

' _ **Because Elizabeth is manipulating you! She's preying on your fear. Just like she did to to Jason and Drew.'**_

 _Sam recoiled._

 _She had made Jason believe he didn't deserve to be a father, and let Drew believe he was worthless without her "love." Because that's the kind of woman she was. She saw a weakness and she exploited it. That's what she was doing now, Sam realized._

" _Let's get something straight right now. I did not ask or encourage Drew to buy Aurora Media."_

 _She gestured to the blonde behind her._

" _He made a choice and I respected and supported that decision because I love him and he asked me to. And if Jason," she pointed toward the curtain, "comes to me and says he wants out, I will do the same for him for the same reasons, but that's not what we're talking about here. You want to blackmail Jason into giving up a choice he has every right to make. I won't be a part of that and I won't stand idly by while you do it!"_

 _The nurse scoffed; those same sparkling orbs now glinted with malice._

" _So that's how you "love" someone?" She places air quotes as she spoke. "You enable their toxic habits just so you can prove your own worth?"_

 _She turned her head to the side with a laugh._

" _You'd actually rather let him die than admit you might not be what's best for him. And he's not even yours!"_

 _Sam lifted her hand again, ready to strike when Nurse Johnson, who had been carefully observing from the front desk intervened._

" _Is there a problem here?" Her eyes narrowed on Sam, who let her hand fall back to her side._

" _As a matter of fact there is," she said, folding her arms to avoid further temptation. "Nurse Webber is not on duty and visiting hours are over. There's no reason for her to be here right now."_

 _The brunette smirked._

" _Then I volunteer myself for overtime." She shrugged. "Problem solved._

 _Sam just chuckled to herself._

" _Not a chance, unless Jason wakes up and specifically asks for you, you're not going anywhere near him."_

 _Epiphany glanced between the two women. She was well aware of the bad blood between them, though mostly through the lens of Elizabeth's perception._

" _Sam, I understand you're worried about Jason, but you don't have the legal right to make those decisions anymore and since Elizabeth-"_

 _She shook her and raised a hand in protest._

" _No, I understand, Nurse Johnson that you are friends and coworkers with her and less likely to be objective."_

 _Her dark eyes settled on the mousy brunette with her nose in the air._

" _I also know how many times your friend and coworker has violated my medical rights and the rights of my husband," she watched as those big blue eyes rounded in shock, "for her own personal gain, and if I have to go over your head to have her banned from access to him and his files, I will."_

 _The head nurse was not accustomed to being spoken to this way and clearly did not appreciate it. However, Sam was throwing out some pretty serious accusations. The kind that if proven true, could cost both Liz's job and possibly her own._

 _Drew felt invisible standing beside Sam. The whole way through he'd done his best to offer insight and broker peace, but not once had she acknowledged his efforts. He knew her words weren't mere threats. Elizabeth had crossed the line between nurse and interloper several times in the course of her career, and were that to come to light, she could find herself unemployed._

 _Someone needed to de-escalate the situation._

" _Why don't I walk you to your car," he offered._

 _He didn't want to leave Sam, but he was no help to her there. Until she had news that Jason would survive she was "his" wife and beyond reach._

 _They exited the emergency room and made their way silently toward the garage. When her car was in sight, she looked up at him with those bluebell eyes and for a fraction of a second he saw the woman he once thought he loved._

" _I know you hate me," she blurted suddenly. "You tolerate me for Jake's sake, but you never forgave me for how I handled us. You think that I was wrong to keep what we thought was your identity from you..."_

 _She was staring up at him through her lashes; the same way she had all those times she'd told him she loved him and promised to accept him as a blank slate, knowing all along who he was._

" _Maybe now that you're standing on the outside, you can understand. I never meant any harm."_

 _She tucked her hair back behind her ear._

" _I just wanted a chance to show you-"_

" _Him," he corrected._

 _She nodded, uncertain which she had truly been trying to reach. Yes, she believed he was Jason, but there had been a real connection with Jake Doe before that. Which one had she been trying to keep?_

" _Just be careful," she touched his arm with a sad smile. "If love were enough, Jason wouldn't be in that bed right now. He'd be waiting for me to come home."_

 _Drew knew all the reasons that wasn't true. Elizabeth had never fit in his world. She had never been able to accept his work or commitments, and she had never been able to accept their connection for what it was. Yes, there was a bond there, maybe even a potential as long as it was just the two of them. But life couldn't be lived that way. She wanted the man he would've been as Jason Quartermaine, or as Jake Doe. She wanted the man he was now with Jason's name attached, but she didn't really want Jason and she didn't really want him either._

 _The blonde watched her climb into the car and drive away, unaware of the conflict she had sparked. His memory and logic were now at war. All the reasons he had argued made him the best choice for Sam, also explained why she was right for his brother._

* * *

 _For the last two days Sam's strength of mind and heart had been tested every way possible. She'd had to face her demons to free Jason from his prison. Then she'd battled Jerry for her life. And finally, she'd been fighting to get her husband the best possible medical care since he'd collapsed in Tetepare. Compared to all of that, doling out a couple of apologies should have been a cakewalk but it was the most daunting challenge of all. Unless she counted sitting there helpless, waiting for news on Jason's condition. That was obviously the worst part._

 _That didn't make walking up to the nurse's desk any easier though. And Epiphany didn't try to make it so. She barely looked at the brunette, but she did ask if there was something she needed._

 _Sam placed both hands on the flat surface and nervously tapped._

" _I just wanted to say I'm sorry about earlier. I was upset and scared, and I took it out on you, and that wasn't fair. So...I'm sorry."_

 _The head nurse lifted her gaze to meet Sam's eye, where she saw genuine remorse. Her expression softened, but only slightly._

" _I understand, and I accept the apology, but it's Elizabeth whose name you slandered with those accusations. She's the one you should be saying this to."_

 _Her dark eyes fought the urge to roll back into her head at the mention of Nurse Webber._

" _Those weren't accusations. I know for a fact that she's violated HIPPA more than once, and a few other laws too."_

 _Her cocoa orbs darted to the side and her face scrunched in contemplation._

" _I don't know what the exact charges would be. But I know she's done things that could cost her this job. And yours," she added sympathetically._

 _The younger woman tucked her chin down toward her chest._

" _But that's not why I came over here. I really did just want to say I'm sorry."_

 _She tapped on the desk one last time before slinking back toward the waiting area. Painful as that encounter had been, it was only the appetizer for what was coming. Carly would arrive any minute and then she'd have to explain how she went running off into the jungle to save Jason and kept her in the dark to his peril._

" _Sam!" The statuesque blonde rushes toward her with arms wide open and wrapped them around her in a loving gesture._

' _Damn' This was even harder than approaching Epiphany after biting her head off for no good reason._

 _Carly pulled back, panic in her eyes._

" _I got here as soon as I could. Now tell me what happened," she requested but leapt into conclusions before Sam could speak. "Oh god! Is it- is it Danny? Is he sick again? I know it sounds crazy but every time we talk about it I kind of feel like we're summoning it or something."_

 _That didn't sound crazy at all. Sam had the exact same thought._

 _She shook her head, tears welling up behind her eyelids._

" _It's not Danny, it's Jason."_

 _She tried to keep her chin from trembling._

" _It's bad Carly. Jerry had him chained up with no food or water. It's a million degrees out there and his shoulder's probably infected..."_

 _Again, the blonde wrapped her arms around her to help hold her together. She'd only understood bits and pieces of her best friend's breakdown, but it was enough to understand Jason's determination to go alone had landed him in hot water, just as they had both predicted it would._

" _Jason is going to get through this," she promised, stepping back once more. "He's got you and the boys to live for, and little Scout, who I'm sure he's already fallen in love with."_

 _She smiled despite her own pooling tears._

" _And he knows how much Sonny and I need him, and Michael. Michael needs him now more than ever."_

 _The two women locked eyes; each burning with a deep and abiding love for the man in the next room._

 _Her brows knit together._

" _Wait, if he was alone, how did he make it back here by himself?"_

 _One look at Sam's face and she knew the answer. He hadn't._

" _Oh my God...oh my god!" She shook her head, refusing to accept what was staring right in front of her._

 _The brunette opened her mouth to explain when a doctor came out and approached her._

" _Are you the family of Mr. Morgan," he asked._

 _She nodded, and brushed aside the tears staining her cheeks._

" _Yes," she looked over at Carly. "We both are. What's happening to Jason? Is he going to be okay?"_

 _Sam didn't know this doctor. She couldn't read him and she didn't like that. His somber expression was very off-putting and his monotone voice was hard to listen to. Neither reflected any hope or remorse._

 _The man pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and examined his notes on the chart._

" _Yes, well, your husband was very lucky Mrs. Morgan. The bullet missed all major organs and arteries, and the anti bacterial meds from the island appear to have helped stave off infection thus far. I will be prescribing something a bit stronger and he will be closely monitored to ensure no complications arise. His kidneys did suffer as a result of the dehydration and his blood levels are dangerously imbalanced. We've inserted an IV to straighten them out and get his kidneys back to full function. But, all in all, he should make a full recovery."_

 _The two women embraced each other, this time in joy and relief._

" _You know, I was going to yell at you, but then you called me family and he said Jason was going to be okay and now I don't know how to feel."_

 _She ran a thumb beneath her eye to catch her tears._

" _I mean, I'm still mad at you for cutting me out, and hurt. I really thought we were past all that. That we had gotten to a better place."_

 _The brunette wanted to reach out but she wasn't sure how she'd be received. Instead her hand went up into her hair, pushing it all to one side._

" _We are! I meant what I told the doctor. You are family, Jason's and mine. The only reason I didn't tell you he was in danger was because I didn't know for sure. All I had was a hunch to go on, and I know that probably would have been enough for you, but I didn't want you sitting here worrying yourself to death. I know how hard it is for you to do nothing."_

 _The blonde pouted, fighting back a smile._

" _Okay, well now I really can't yell at you."_

 _Both Carly and Sam shared a laugh and then sat down in the waiting area while a room was prepared for Jason._

 _The blonde looked up, surveying the scene._

" _Huh? I'm surprised Elizabeth hasn't shown up yet. She's usually like a bloodhound when he's in here. A whiff of his scent,"_

 _Carly's hand made a palm up, sweeping gesture._

" _And there she goes right behind him."_

 _Sam grimaced and scratches behind her ear._

" _Oh, that hasn't changed. She was here earlier trying to convince me to make Jason give up the investigation and quit the business."_

 _Carly sneered._

" _Figures. Did you hit her?"_

 _She bounced up and down in her chair._

" _Please tell me you hit her," she pleaded._

" _I did not," the brunette sighed. "But I did have her banned from Jason's room and his files."_

 _The blonde grinned enthusiastically._

" _That might be even better," she said with her index finger in the air._

 _Sam smiled weakly and looked down at her knees._

" _Yeah, I'm not so sure Jason will think so." She glanced up to meet her companions gaze. "You know how he is with her."_

" _Yeah," her head titled a millimeter to the side. "Jason is great! You know, he's almost perfect. But he's got a weakness for the damsel act that gets him into trouble. He thinks they need him and he doesn't want to let them down."_

 _She leaned in closer, blue eyes glistening._

" _But that's not what he wants. He wants someone strong and brave and capable of handling herself; someone who loves and accepts him exactly as he is."_

 _The blonde smirked._

" _Someone like you."_

 _Sam lowered her face down into her hands steeping her fingertips at her nose._

" _I get it. You think Jason and I belong together and I should leave his brother and be with him. But it's not that simple."_

" _Why not?" Carly pressed. "You can't honestly tell me that two years of love built on a lie compares to all the ups and downs you and Jason have overcome all these years!"_

 _The brunette sat back up, her expression weary._

" _It's true, I've never loved anyone the way I love Jason. But no one's ever hurt me like he has, either. Drew gives me that, that same level of love and acceptance, but without the heartbreak. And even though the name was a lie, the trust and friendship that we built together, the connection we share...that's real. And he's counting on it."_

 _She took a deep breath and let it out slow._

" _I know that Jason loves me. So much that he would give up everything for me; his name, his son, his home. He was willing to sign it all away just to keep us from going through this."_

" _He did what?" The blonde erupted._

 _Sam's lips curled into a smile._

" _That was when I let myself believe it. I knew the instant I saw him. I kept trying to talk myself out of it, but it was just such a Jason thing to do, there was no denying it anymore."_

 _Her dark eyes fell to her hands._

" _Drew's whole world blew up in his face when he learned he wasn't Jason...I could have kept it from happening if I had just accepted his offer."_

 _Carly laid a consoling hand on her friend's back._

" _Do you wish you had?"_

 _The brunette shook her head, a fresh round of tears forming._

" _No," she replied brokenly. "I love Drew, but I can't go back to a life without Jason in it."_

 _Sam leaned into Carly and laid her head on her shoulder._

" _And I don't know how to have him in my life and not be with him. I keep trying not to, but I can't, I can't stop loving him and I can't stop acting on it."_

 _She looked up with sorrowful eyes._

" _I kissed him Carly...I didn't mean to, but I was just so happy he was alive and so scared he wouldn't make it home and-"_

 _Drew stopped listening after that. He closed his eyes and pressed his back to the wall. His lungs were straining for air. He'd known all along that she was conflicted, but hearing her say it, and not to him...Didn't he deserve to hear it from her first?_

' _She said she loves you,' his brain reminded, but his heart couldn't hear it._

 _Elizabeth's words of delusion came crashing down on him in that moment with startling clarity._

' _If love were enough...'_


	25. Chapter 23

_**A/N: Hey guys! Sorry I've been gone so long. School starts at the end of the month and that diploma isn't going to earn itself ;)**_

 _ **As always, welcome to new readers and thank you everyone for your love and support of each chapter! Each view, follow, fave, and review brightens my day. Please keep them coming. I love hearing your thoughts.**_

 _ **Remember when I said Friz was a necessary evil in this story? Well sadly, the time has come for me to write one of their scenes and let me tell you, I struggled doing so. But I did do it and I put it first so we can go ahead and get it out of the way before getting back to our triangle. I wouldn't suggest skipping it though or you will miss something important moving forward.**_

* * *

' _Who the hell does Sam Morgan think she is?!'_

 _The nurse fumed as she sped toward the home she shared with Franco and her children._

' _And what gives her the right to kick me out of my own hospital,' her venomous barbs continued._

 _It was no secret that Jason and Sam's marriage had been in the verge of collapse when he'd gone missing or that she had moved on with his twin brother. The only thing that still tied them together was a piece of paper that fed her ridiculous sense of entitlement. Sam didn't even want Jason anymore. She just didn't want him showing interest in her._

' _Not that she wanted him,' she told herself. It was the principle of the matter, not the actual obstacle that bothered her._

 _She huffed and made the turn onto her street, her thoughts wandering back to poor Drew, and the unfavorable position he found himself in._

 _At least she and Jason had shared a genuine connection; something Sam could neither touch nor accept. But his relationship was built on a foundation of spite. He hadn't gone to Sam out of love, but because he was angry with her for keeping "his" identity from him. The snarky con hadn't chosen him either, not when it counted. But she couldn't resist the opportunity to kick Liz while she was down._

 _She'd poisoned his mind and seduced him into her bed, and now that he wasn't Jason anymore it was only a matter of time before she tossed him aside._

 _The car idled as she pulled in the drive and examined her reflection in the rearview mirror. She fluffed her hair until she was pleased with the result._

' _Just because she'd had the night from hell didn't mean she had to look it,' she mused and slammed the car door shut._

 _Inside, Franco was waiting, unusually anxious for her arrival. The house had been cleaned. The table was set and dinner was on the stove. There were candles giving off a subtle glow and a bottle of wine was chilling nearby._

 _He filled two glasses and sat the bottle aside, then took a large swig for courage._

' _Love demands honesty,' he repeated the mantra from therapy to keep from losing his nerve. Though, truth be told, it was nearly nonexistent by the time she stormed through the door._

" _You won't believe the night I had," She grumbled, and dropped her belongings at the entrance._

 _He extended the wineglass which she eagerly accepted._

" _Actually, you're one of the few people who knows just how vindictive Sam can be, so you'll probably have no problem believing that she had me booted out of the hospital just to keep me away from Jason."_

 _His brows inched closer in confusion._

" _Jason?" His chest filled with unease like fluid, making it hard to breathe. "I thought he was out of town."_

 _His fiancé gave a sardonic smirk before dragging a long sip of wine from her own glass._

" _That was before they rolled him into the ER with a fresh bullet wound, and god knows what else."_

 _She took another sip and her dark sapphire eyes glittered with disdain._

" _And as usual there was Sam," her hand made a sweeping gesture to the side,"being his cheerleader and refusing to acknowledge the obvious."_

 _A dark nothingness slithered up his spine as she spoke; a void he recognized but chose to ignore._

" _But he's alright, isn't he?"_

' _I shouldn't care,' he scolded himself._

 _Maybe in a vague "we're all people and this sucks for you" kind of way, but he shouldn't have been taking it so personally. Jason Morgan was nothing to him. What should it matter if the world was short one less mobster?_

' _Of course I should care,' he corrected his thinking._

 _Jason may not be anything to him, but he was Jake's biological father and Elizabeth's friend. His death or harm could potentially cause pain to his own loved ones. Only a true psychopath would have no compassion for his situation. Not that he knew Morgan's exact situation. He'd been too busy debating his own reaction to listen._

 _The perturbed nurse had been prattling on throughout the course of his process and had polished off her glass of wine already._

" _All I did was show a little concern for his wellbeing. You'd think she might do the same," she ranted as she walked into the kitchen. If she noticed the romantic atmosphere he'd worked to create she made no mention of it. She did pour herself a refill though._

" _But noooo," the glass was brimming as she sat the bottle down on the table. "She had to get all petty and territorial."_

 _She sunk down in a chair and kicked her shoes off with her feet, still sipping between sentences._

" _It's one thing for her to be nasty," she shrugged apathetically. "I'm kind of used to that, but for her to try and get me fired just for having an opinion, that's a new low, even for her."_

 _Franco double blinked, attempting to sort through the overload of information he'd just been given._

 _Sam and Elizabeth would never get drunk and gossip together, but they weren't exactly enemies either. In the last two years they had learned to coexist and even had moments of compassion and understanding between them. What could have possibly happened to have changed that?_

 _The former artist felt his stomach twist._

" _I'm sorry."_

 _His eyes were cast down toward the burgundy liquid in front of him._

 _The brunette looked up at him, perplexed by his response._

" _What for? It's not your fault she's bitter and rude."_

 _She sat the glass down and rose to comfort him. Gently, she pried the wine from his fingers and sat it aside._

" _Hey," she whispered, touching his face with her hand. "What's going on with you tonight?"_

 _He lifted his chin to meet her eyes with his own tortured gaze._

" _I'm afraid I might actually be an irredeemable psychopath," he confessed, looking back down at his drink._

" _I just want to be worthy of you," he murmured quietly, his eyes floating back up to see her reaction._

 _Her porcelain skin glowed in the candlelight and those deep blue spheres were shining with love and concern as she took him in._

 _For a brief second he wondered if she could see the same endearment reflecting in his own murky orbs._

 _She smiled that sweet, understanding smile that made his heart flutter._

 _Psychopaths couldn't feel that, could they? No. They could only imitate what they saw. Then it had to real. His love for the woman standing in front of him wasn't born of some sick obsession with her ex lover. It was clean and tangible; something he could grasp onto in his moments of doubt._

" _Franco, you're not a bad person," she assured in the honeyed voice reserved for him and her children. "Yes, you did some bad things, but you weren't in control of your thoughts and actions at the time. Even then, there was goodness in you. I believe that. Otherwise you would have crossed those lines instead of just pretending to."_

 _She believed in him, in his goodness. How could he shatter that illusion with the truth?_

' _Love demands honesty,' his conscience insisted._

" _What if you're wrong?"_

 _His voice was low and thick with emotion._

" _What if, hypothetically, I wasn't a good person when I came back to Port Charles? I just pretended to be until the tumor was discovered."_

 _At first her eyes went blank; her expression muted. Then slowly he saw her shock shift into something else. Disbelief._

 _He reached for her hands as she tried to pull them back._

" _But everything else you know and believe is true. I did have a tumor and I did change. The man you know and love, the life we planned together that's all real."_

 _He searched her eyes for compassion and found revulsion instead._

" _You-you had Michael raped."_

 _She hissed the last word._

" _You- you...with Sam?" The nurse clutched her stomach suddenly feeling ill._

 _It played on a loop in her head; every time she had defended him, every time she had pled his case of innocence...every time she had forced a rape victim to play nice with her attacker for "the children's sake."_

 _Her hand flew up and struck him across the face. Instantly, she pressed it to her chest, feeling oddly remorseful._

 _How could she feel anything but contempt, knowing what he'd done?_

 _Her gaze turned to the hall where her children were sleeping. Oh God! She had a rapist under the same roof as her boys._

 _What was she supposed to do with that?_

" _Get out," she demanded icily._

 _Franco stood afraid and helpless, laying his soul bare for her to see._

" _I know, I know what I did was awful, and if I could take it back I would. But I can't. All I can do is be a better man, and I have been."_

 _Elizabeth felt her heart wrench, as though trying to separate itself from her chest, but she held her ground._

" _I know..."_

 _He reached for her but she recoiled again. His hands fell limp at his sides._

" _Doesn't that mean anything," he asked dejectedly._

 _Did it? She honestly didn't know. Her thoughts were jumbled and her heart was crying out for a man she could barely stand the sight of._

" _I don't know," she replied, fighting the urge to vomit. "I just-" she swallowed the bile rising up in her throat. "I just need to think."_

 _Franco nodded and grabbed his jacket from the coatrack by the door. That was when it hit him, he had nowhere to go and no one to lean on. Elizabeth wasn't just the woman who'd stolen his heart. She and her boys were his entire world._

 _And he'd likely just lost them forever..._

* * *

 _Back at the hospital, Sam groaned into her hands and wiped furiously at her tear stained cheeks._

" _I need to get it together," she chastised herself aloud. "Drew'll be back any minute and I can't let him see me like this."_

 _Carly reached into her purse and pulled out a packet of travel tissues, which she extended to the brunette._

" _Why not?" She challenged. "This is the real you Sam. This," she gestured to her friend's sorrowful expression, "is how you really feel. Why should you have to hide that from him?"_

 _She shrugged, took a tissue and blotted beneath her eyes._

" _Because he'll want to fix it, and he can't."_

 _She sniffled and rubbed her nose with the wadded paper._

" _He just wants so badly to make this okay for me. They both do, and I want to do the same for them, but I can't."_

 _She hooked the dark curtain of waves behind her ear._

" _You know, the situation is what it is, and nothing any of us do seems to make it any better."_

 _She glanced cautiously up at the blonde next to her, silently begging for answers. Unfortunately, Carly didn't have any._

" _I don't know, Sam. I've been in a lot of crazy situations in my life."_

 _She couldn't help but crack a smile as she said that, and her amusement was contagious. Sam returned her grin with a half-hearted quirk of the lips._

" _I do know what it's like to love two very different men and feel caught between them. You want to be fair, you know, you want to keep everything even; not just because you don't want to hurt their feelings but because if you're being honest, you don't want to make that choice, but that juggling act," she paused and looked Sam squarely in the eye. "It's exhausting, and it's a waste of time and resources that could be better spent working through the problem instead of avoiding it."_

 _Her chocolate gaze fell to the hands gathered in her lap._

" _I don't know how."_

 _The blonde laid her hand over her companion's._

" _You could start by being honest," she suggested with a sympathetic stare._

 _She'd been so caught up in her own emotions of joy and guilt when Jason returned that she'd never stopped to put herself in Sam's shoes. Carly had been free to run into his arms and beg his forgiveness, but the woman sitting next to her didn't have that luxury. She had vows to honor and a lost man leaning on her for all her love and support, who refused to believe the truth until he was forced to. She'd been so focused on Jason's pain and Jason's loss, that she'd completely missed what her other best friend was going through. Now that she had a firm understanding of the turmoil broiling within, she'd give anything to take back her careless words from months prior._

 _Sam looked up and her lungs constricted as she caught sight of Jason's doctor whispering conspiratorially at the nurses desk. Epiphany peered over in their direction and then peeled herself from her seat with a sigh. Her chocolate gaze followed the head nurse until she stood before them, a pillar of strength and professionalism._

 _Both woman rose to meet her._

" _Mr. Morgan is stable. He's been moved to a room in the inpatient wing. I took the liberty of having a pillow and blanket left for you," she nodded toward the brunette._

 _Usually this was the portion of the speech where she explained visiting hours and went over guidelines, but that wasn't necessary in this case._

" _The rest you know," she said emphatically. "I can show you the way, if you like?"_

 _Sam glanced over her shoulder to the blonde at her side._

 _There had been a time when they would have battled for the privilege of seeing Jason first, but not anymore. After years of butting heads and a few good punches thrown in, Carly had come to accept that Sam's place was at Jason's side, and vice versa._

" _Go," She nudged playfully at her shoulder. "I'll wait for Drew, just...give him my love, okay?"_

" _Yeah, of course," Sam replied, trying to smile. Then she followed Epiphany down the hall, each step filling her feet with lead._

' _I don't want to do this,' she thought as they moved further down the corridor, the walls closing in._

' _ **You have to,'**_ _the omniscient voice persisted._

' _What if I can't,' she argued, but kept putting one foot in front of the other until she found herself outside his door._

 _She peeked through the small rectangular window and her heart sunk. Physically, Jason was a large man; tall, muscular, and towered above many. He had a generous heart and a strong will. In every aspect, he was the epitome of strength. But even he looked small and weak when laid in a hospital bed surrounded by tons of medical equipment._

 _Quietly, Sam tiptoed to his bedside, gently brushing the surface of his hand with her fingertips. Some part of her had hoped he would feel her touch and reach for her, but that didn't happen. He just laid there, silent with closed eyes, breathing._

" _Hey," she greeted meekly, and sunk into the chair behind her. "Guess what? We made it home. Well, not home, home. You're at General Hospital."_

 _She scooted to the edge of her seat._

" _It's not the greatest homecoming, but it's better than the alternative, right?"_

 _Her cocoa orbs were fixed on his face; the one she'd stopped allowing herself to miss years ago. Then her gaze lowered to his hand. The hand that had held her up in moments of weakness and brushed her hair back as they danced together in her dress and veil. She'd thought that was a moment only they would share, but thanks to Helena and Faison, Drew now shared that memory too._

 _Gingerly, she slipped her hand under his, palm against palm, and locked their fingers together._

" _Carly's here too," she said, her lips curling upward. "I'm sure you already knew that, but she made me promise I'd tell you. The doctor said he expects you to make a full recovery, but you know me. I'm not going to be able to believe it until I see it for myself."_

 _Unbidden tears sprang to her eyes._

" _I want to beg you to wake up but I don't feel like I can, or like I have the right to. You kept all our promises and I broke them. You fought to come home to us and I gave your family to someone else."_

 _She shook her head as the silent tears trickled down._

" _I married someone else. I had a child with someone else. And it doesn't matter that I didn't mean to. I can't ask you to come back for me...but Jason there are so many other people who need you, starting with your children. Danny loves you so much, and Jake, God Jason he's been through so much. He needs your guidance, your patience, your understanding. And Scout," She sniffled again and rubbed her nose, this time, with her free hand. "She's not yours, but you're her uncle. Look how much better off Michael is for having you in his life, the impact you left. You think my daughter's not going to need you? She will. Michael's a grown man and he still does."_

 _Sam got up from the chair and seated herself on the empty space at the side of the bed._

" _Then there's Sonny and Carly, and your mom. The list goes on for days, and yeah if I'm being selfish, I'm on there too."_

 _She planted a kiss to the back of his hand._

" _I told you once that if you died my world would go dark, and when I thought you had, it did. Danny was the only light I could see. And yeah, I learned how to live without you and love without you, because I thought that's what you'd want, and for awhile it seemed like the darkness was gone but when I saw your face that night you saved me, it was like the light turned back on and I knew. I couldn't say it, but I knew that you were you and that you were alive, and it made a whole world of difference. I mourned you once Jason, I can't do it again."_

 _Her eyes turned heavenward._

' _Please, God, don't make me do it again,' she prayed._

 _Meanwhile, Carly sat in the waiting area of the ER waiting for Drew to reappear from wherever he had gone._

 _Despite her love and loyalty to Jason, she understood what Sam meant by a different and real connection. From their first introduction, she had felt drawn to the man walking toward her. He was a good person and a good friend. And he didn't deserve the heartbreak that had been thrust upon him._

 _Her thoughts fractured off as he rounded the corner._

" _Hey." The greeting was direct and informal, but not unkind. "Where's Sam?"_

 _He extended the tray of, what was probably by now, cold coffee and she cautiously reached out to take the closest one._

" _With Jason."_

 _She sipped cautiously on the beverage, surprised to find it cool enough to drink._

" _He's being admitted."_

 _The blonde scrubbed at his jawline and blew out a deep breath._

" _That's good- that's..." he trailed off, unable to focus on the conversation._

 _His heart was broken but still racing at twice it's normal rate. So was his brain. The past and present bled together, knowledge and memory, until he could no longer separate the two. He'd always drawn a line between himself and Jason's memory, and believed himself to be a man of his own making. But as the pictures in his head flashed out of sequence and time it was difficult to tell where his brother ended and he began._

" _Are you okay," Carly asked, rising from her seat to meet his eyes._

' _No,' he wasn't, but Jason was in the hospital and Sam was in tears. He wasn't about to make this situation about him._

" _Can you stay with her awhile?"_

 _His gaze drifted down the inpatient corridor and back to his current company._

" _I just have some things I need to take care of."_

' _Like getting the hell out of here before I go into cardiac arrest,' he thought to himself._

 _She nodded curtly. "Yeah, of course. I'll pitch a tent in the lobby if I have to."_

 _The mental image caused him to smirk. Carly had many talents, but he doubted camping skills were among them._

 _He thanked her and cast one last glance down the hall before exiting in the opposite direction. There was only one place he could think to go, under the circumstances. It was the one place where he never felt isolated or unwanted, and would provide him with some much needed perspective. He needed to see Scout and Danny, to remind himself what he was fighting for._

 _Carly finished the cold coffee and went off in search of Sam. She found her at Jason's bedside, clinging to his hand, her heart undoubtedly in pieces, even if she wasn't ready to admit it._

 _The blonde slipped in unnoticed and sat down in the abandoned chair. When Sam opened her eyes again, Carly was there, watching her._

" _Do you want me to give you a minute," the brunette asked, but made no attempt to disentangle herself from her husband._

 _Her friend smirked and shook her head._

" _No, this is the most peaceful I've seen him since he's been home. I'm just sorry he's not awake to enjoy it," she added sassily._

 _Sam smiled weakly and she instantly regretted her choice of words._

 _She leapt from the chair to tend to the wounds she'd accidentally created. For the second time that night Sam crumpled in her arms and Carly held her until she found the strength to compose herself._

" _I'm sorry I keep doing that," she said, untangling herself from both blondes. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I used to be so much stronger than this."_

' _ **You still are,'**_ _the voice whispered but she found that hard to believe given all the evidence to the contrary._

 _Carly eyed her carefully._

" _Sam, even strong women have breaking points. In less than a year you were thrown off a bridge, gave birth in conditions no mother should ever have to. You almost died twice. Your hus- Drew was shot right in front of you, Jason came back and you just saved his life. No sane woman wouldn't be reeling right now."_

 _It did sound like a lot when she put it all together that way._

" _Why don't you get out of here for a little while?"_

 _Sam's eyes immediately went to Jason._

" _I can keep him company," the blonde insisted._

" _And before you say no, let me remind you that you've been wearing the same outfit for at least two days, you smell like the jungle, and not in a good way, and most importantly," she held Sam by the arms, "you can't take care of Jason by not taking care of yourself. If he wakes up and sees you like this the first thing he'll do is try to send you home."_

 _She looked down at her v-neck and jeans, the same exact ones she had been wearing since their first night on Tetepare_

" _Three actually."_

 _Carly nodded._

" _See, you need a shower, and a nap. You probably didn't sleep the whole way back, did you?"_

 _How could she with Jason slipping in and out of consciousness the whole time and her fearing for his life?_

 _She watched as Carly dug something from her purse. Keys._

" _Go home. Eat, shower, sleep. If there's even the slightest change in his condition, I'll call."_

 _She should take the offer. The brunette knew that. Not only was she neglecting herself by staying, but she was also being unfair to Drew, who needed her too._

 _Her gaze lingered on the keys with sudden clarity._

" _Drew left without me, didn't he?"_

 _Carly's hesitance spoke volumes._

" _He said he had some stuff to take care of. I'm sure he just wanted to see the kids or check in at Aurora. He promised he'd come back, but you shouldn't be trapped here until he does."_

 _She placed the keys in Sam's hand._

 _The brunette looked back at her with shining eyes of gratitude._

" _What did I do before we were friends," she asked wondrously._

 _The blonde smiled with a small half-shrug._

" _You were lost, of course," she responded playfully. "Now get out of here," the blonde ordered gently._

 _Sam stepped over to the bed and hovered over her husband, a faint smile on her lips as she wrapped her fingers around his hand. According to the doctor, there was no reason to believe he wouldn't wake up, but she was still afraid._

" _I have to go now," she explained, touching his face with her other hand. "Carly's going to stay with you." She glanced over her shoulder toward their mutual friend. "She's probably going to talk your ear off."_

 _Carly chuckled._

" _I am, until you wake up and tell me to stop you're my captive audience."_

 _Sam shook her head with a smile._

" _I'll try to hurry," she bent down and whispered in his ear._

 _As she pulled back she could almost see his lopsided grin of amusement. Hopefully, it would be there greeting her the next time she came through the door. But she couldn't let herself think about that. Otherwise, she'd never have made it to the parking lot._

* * *

 _Drew stared up at the dark windows of the penthouse floor, his heart heavy. For two years, he and Sam had shared that home, built a life and a family. For two years, she had looked into his eyes with complete confidence and promised her undying love and commitment to him and their life together. And after all of that, somehow, she had looked him in the face and lied. Maybe not outright. Not once had she actually said she believed he was Jason or that she had no feelings for his brother. But there had been an implication in her choice to stand by him all that time, a deliberate deception._

 _When Carly had walked into the church on his wedding day and declared him Jason Morgan, Sam shook her head with pain filled eyes and screamed no. Even when the dna and the facial deconstruction program seemed to prove it, she argued that there had been some kind of mistake. But not with his brother. Like everyone else, she had instantly believed his story and accepted his claim, despite all evidence to the contrary, and the life they shared together hanging in the balance._

 _Whether she knew it or not, she had already made a choice, and continued to make it repeatedly each day that followed. It was only a matter of time before she realized it too._

' _And then what?'_

 _Thanks to the memories jammed into his brain, the picture was alarmingly clear. Sam would stay by Jason's side until he was released from the hospital and once he was released she'd find reasons to stop by, never for herself of course. She might need his perspective on a problem or plan a play date for him and Danny. He'd probably need help moving with his shoulder recovering from its latest gunshot wound. The excuses were limitless, as were the opportunities for them to grow closer. Slowly, the gap would dissipate until she remembered everything she loved about his twin and forgot everything she resented. At which point, her confliction would become a distant memory._

 _All the way up the elevator and to the front door, he ruminated on this. He replayed every moment of significance in the last two months with this newfound perspective as he turned the key and entered the empty apartment. His hand groped for the light switch and with a flick of his finger the darkness was gone and Sam had materialized on their couch; somber and patient._

 _She sat criss cross on the middle cushion, clinging to her ankles. Her hair was still damp in the middle but dry at the roots and already kinking at the ends._

" _I didn't think you'd come back tonight." He tossed the keyring on the desk by the entrance._

 _The brunette appeared confused by his greeting, but shrugged it off._

" _I wasn't planning to," she mumbled, as though working through an equation aloud. "I was in the shower."_

 _Her dark eyes sparked for the first time since his arrival._

" _There's just something about the shower. I don't know if it's the hot water or maybe the solitude, but I seem to do some of my best thinking in there," she babbled anxiously. "It's like time slows down," her hands rotated backwards in a circular pattern, "and then all my thoughts and feelings just kind of, catch up?"_

 _Her hands made the same gesture in the opposite direction._

" _I don't know if that makes any sense or not-" she paused and scratched the back of her head._

" _Anyway, I was going to go back to the hospital, but then I realized I couldn't. Not until I talk to you."_

 _His heart leapt and fell with her declaration. For a split second he'd thought maybe her choice had been different, until he'd heard the ominous tone and a variation of the phrase "we need to talk."_

 _The blonde trudged over toward the sofa to take a seat next to her while she uncrossed her legs and planted her feet firmly on the floor._

' _The perfect position to drop a bomb and run,' he couldn't help thinking._

 _He sat with a sigh, and instinctively reached out to lay a hand on her knee._

" _If this is about what happened with Jason back on the island, I already know."_

 _He watched as her dark eyes flashed with shock and remorse._

" _And I've decided that it's okay," he forced the words past his lips with great effort. "Maybe okay isn't the right word. It's...understandable, under the circumstances."_

 _She sat silently listening as he pulled his hand back and fidgeted with the ring on his left hand._

" _We've talked a lot about what his coming back means for me, and how it effects our life and the people in it, but we never discussed what it meant for you. Maybe because I was afraid to admit that everything might change, but I see now that it has."_

 _He looked up into her eyes and she was reminded of the ocean; stormy and unpredictable in all its glory. It was one of the subtle differences she had noticed between them; his impulsive nature. While Jason always thought things through, Drew had a habit of leading with his heart._

" _You love me, but you also love him. You always have, and you always will. And now that we both know that I'm not him, I think we're both trying to figure out where I fit in this new scenario."_

 _Sam wanted to deny that. Like him, she had tried to ignore the immensity of the situation, but there were forces at work greater than her stubbornness of will. Something was pulling at her and it wasn't just Jason or her sense of loyalty._

" _That's not it," the brunette blurted suddenly, surprising them both._

" _I'll admit I'm a little confused." The dark curtain of hair shielded her face as she hung her head. "Okay, a lot confused. But it's not for the reason you think."_

 _He fought the urge to push her hair back and was relieved when she did so herself and met his gaze._

" _It's me," her head tilted slightly. "I'm the one that doesn't fit. We made a decision together to live a certain kind of life; and I thought I made that choice based on what I wanted, but when I look back on that time it seems more about what I didn't want, you know?"_

 _Her chocolate spheres searched his for understanding, and came up empty._

" _I didn't want to lose you. I didn't want the kids to grow up without their father, and I didn't want to be afraid anymore and I think I thought running Aurora would give me that."_

" _Hasn't it though?" He asked, clearly still not getting the point, but trying his hardest to do so. "There's no more shootouts or legal indiscretions, we're a legitimate business now, with no ties to that world anymore."_

 _Sam raised a skeptical brow._

" _Except for the part where I was a known mob widow and the mother of Jason's child. Not to mention," she raised a finger and wagged it in his direction, "having Julian Jerome as a sperm donor."_

 _Drew could delude himself from the reality of their situation, but she couldn't. She knew all too well what happened when a member of "the business" attempted to walk away. They never got very far without someone trying to drag them back in. And if, by some miracle, they did make it out, it wasn't long until they were followed and forced to defend themselves. They were no safer by pretending those connections didn't exist. They were only less informed and less prepared._

" _Then maybe we should leave Port Charles," he suggested, but she shook her head at the proposal._

" _And go where? This is our home, Drew. This is where our family is. And even if we did, there's nowhere the mob or the fear couldn't follow. We live as safe a life as we possibly can here, and I'm still afraid all the time."_

 _She watched as the former SEAL grit his teeth._

" _You have good reason to be. Jason's business is brutal and dangerous-"_

 _The brunette squinted at him in disbelief._

" _That's not what scares me," she snapped impatiently. "Jason puts his life and his freedom on the line to do what he believes is right. I understand and respect that. What scares me is the car crashes, the freak accidents, being in the wrong place at the wrong time. I'm not afraid of the danger surrounding the business. I'm afraid of the danger that comes with living, and that terrifies me because it paralyzes me. Whether I'm in the office at Aurora or the middle of the jungle, I'm afraid to move, to breathe, to just be, because if I do something bad might happen."_

 _Her hand combed recklessly through her tangles._

" _Having Jerry at gunpoint is the most in control I've felt in I don't know how long, and I liked it. A lot. I could see the horror in your eyes and I didn't even care because I needed that sense of power over him. That's what I'm afraid of, that that's who I am now. And it doesn't help when you keep placating that fear."_

 _He opened his mouth, ready to protest, but she didn't give him the chance._

" _I know you love me, and you're just trying to make it better, but changing our lifestyle hasn't fixed me. If anything, I've felt less like myself and more out of control than ever."_

 _For a moment she allowed her confession to hang there between them, uncertain how to continue._

' _Maybe I should apologize,' she thought._

' _ **For being honest?'**_ _The voice asked,_ ' _ **because I thought the whole point of this conversation was to stop lying.'**_

 _It was..._

 _Sam heaved a sigh, knowing there was still more to say, and that he wouldn't like any of it._

" _I promised you when we found out about Scout that I wouldn't lie to you in order to protect you, and I broke that. I knew you weren't Jason the second I woke up in his arms, and I didn't tell you because, well, you begged me not to. Not that that's an excuse. It isn't. I should have told you the truth from the start and I wish I had, but I didn't feel like I could. So I just kept avoiding the question and trying to support you the best way I knew how."_

 _He could have let her keep going, sat there and silently listened while she confessed all her sins, but that seemed cruel to them both, given what he already knew._

" _I didn't exactly make it easy for you to tell me," he mumbled remorsefully. "But the more I go over it in my head, the more obvious it becomes. You didn't look surprised when Andre told us. You looked torn, and you've looked that way every day since," he added hesitantly. "I knew you wanted to investigate the switch and that you weren't happy at Aurora, but I guess I convinced myself that would change with time, that you'd grow to love our new life as much as I do, but you don't..."_

 _The brunette laced their fingers together with a sympathetic smile._

" _I wanted to. I tried... I told myself that my hunch would be meaningless and that I could walk away after that-"_

" _But it wasn't." He realized now why Sam had felt so guilty about Jason's disappearance. He'd been following the lead she had given him._

 _Oblivious to his epiphany, she continued._

" _No, it wasn't. And I can't tell you how good it felt to know that I was onto something." The corners of her mouth fell. "Or how how guilty I felt for feeling that way. It went against everything we agreed on, and I wrestled with it for days, but in the end I had to share it with Jason and Spinelli."_

 _He nodded stoically and turned his head to face her._

" _But why not come to me Sam? Why is your first instinct always to run to him?"_

 _It didn't make any sense when she thought about it. For the last three years, Drew had been her partner. In any situation, he was her first call, her husband, her confidant. Shouldn't he be the one she leaned toward, if for no other reason, out of comfort or habit?_

" _You didn't want to know," she reminded gently. "I talked to you more than once about looking into your history and you shot me down every time."_

 _Her tone was a bit more forceful at the end._

" _So you went to him instead," he grumbled, earning a look of disapproval from her._

 _Instinctively, her hand pulled away._

" _This isn't about the stupid competition in your head, Drew. It's about me." She gestured toward herself. "It's about a decision I made. I chose to investigate behind your back instead of telling you that's what I wanted to do. Just like I chose to lie to your face instead of standing my ground back in Tetepare. I knew when I told you to go that I had no intention of staying behind, and that's not on Jason. That's on me."_

 _The blonde leapt up from his seat on the couch, eager to separate himself from the woman he loved._

" _Then why did you do it?!" He shouted angrily._

" _Because it made sense to me," she countered as she rose to stand. "Because I didn't want to fight with you, and I knew no matter what I said you would never understand that. You see things the way you see them, and that's all you see."_

 _Her hands gesticulated each verbal accusation._

" _You keep saying that you trust me and your trust what we feel for each other, but you've been waiting for me to leave you since the second we found out you aren't Jason! You think everything I do is either a step toward him or away from you and if I had dared disagree or shown any sign of doubt or discontent you'd have twisted it into a sign of abandonment just like you did with Sonny and Carly," she spat._

" _How can I," he growled in frustration. "How can I trust anything we shared together when the foundation," he pointed to his head, "belongs to someone else! How can I believe it's me you love when I can remember you telling him the exact same words while looking at him the exact same way, and making him feel the same way you've made me feel every day of our life together? How am I supposed to believe that your love for me is any different than what you felt for Lucky or Patrick or any of the other men who lost you because they couldn't compete?"_

 _Sam remembered those relationships from the inside and knew the circumstances surrounding those breakups weren't nearly as clear cut as Drew was making them out to be. Yes, her love for Jason had been a factor, but Lucky had his own soulmate that he couldn't move past. So did Patrick._

' _Did he,' she wondered._

 _He seemed convinced that his life was empty before her because his military file didn't list a wife or children, but what about a fiancé or a girlfriend. Relationships came in many forms and not all were recognized by the military or the legal system. It was entirely possible there was someone out there who loved him the way she did._

" _Can you look me in the eye and honestly say you have no doubts that what we feel for each other is real or that it will last now that I'm not him."_

 _His ocean orbs peered down into her, searching for assurance he knew he wouldn't find._

" _That's what I thought."_

 _Panic struck her spine as she felt herself once again losing control of the situation she found herself in._

" _It's not you I don't trust," she snatched his face between her hands, desperate to keep him from walking away. "You are the same strong, brave, loving man that I have always known you to be, even before I thought you were Jason. And I know that there is something real between us." She touched her forehead to his, as they had done so many times before. "But I don't know if you're mine to have, or if that love is enough."_

 _He placed his hands over hers and slid them down his cheeks until his face was free of her grasp._

" _You want me to decide who I want and I don't even know who I am."_

 _His intense eyes settled on their joined hands._

" _Then maybe that's our answer," he replied sullenly. "We got the house." The sentence brought a faint curl to his lips but it vanished with the following statement. "I'm going to move out as planned, but I think you should stay here."_

" _Are you leaving me," her voice broke at the end and her eyes pooled with tears._

 _Drew pushed her hands back toward her chest._

" _I prefer to think of it as preparing for your arrival," he said, swallowing the lump in his throat. "I'm not giving up. When you're ready to be a family again, I'll be there waiting."_

 _He planted a kiss to each hand, then released her and walked up the stairs to begin packing. He wouldn't spend another night in the penthouse that had once felt like home, hoping Sam would eventually join him. He wouldn't keep clinging to a life that was already gone. All he could do now was build anew and pray they would find their way back to one another, happy and whole._

 _Sam stood alone in the living room, surrounded by pictures and memories of her life with both men. The penthouse was the first home she had ever known and while it wasn't exactly neutral ground, it was equally haunted by both relationships. She looked down at the ring on her hand; the one she had promised Jason would never come off her finger again. The one Drew had slipped over her knuckle just over a year ago. Which one was she wearing it for? Her husband or the man she had married? They were supposed to be one and the same. Jason was supposed to be the only man she ever gave all of herself to or whose child she had borne, but he wasn't and now she had to decide what to do with that._

 _She thought back on Carly's words as she watched him come down the stairs with his duffel bag in hand._

' _You don't want to make that choice.'_

 _By walking out that door, Drew could be making it for her. He said he wasn't giving up, that he would be waiting for her, but she knew what he was really doing. He was giving her the freedom to walk away guilt free. The only question was why, and whether or not she would take advantage of the opportunity._


	26. Chapter 24

_**A/N: Sorry it's taken me so long to get this out. I've been preparing for school and math is my nemesis so this will be a particularly sucky semester. But fear not, I plan to continue working on this story!**_

 _ **Thank you so much for all the views, follows, faves, and especially the reviews! Your kind words of encouragement really mean more than you know.**_

 _ ***I know Cam was born in 2004 and would only be 14 without SORAS, but I chose to add a few years for the sake of story. ***_

 _ **Hope you enjoy the chapter!**_

* * *

 _Elizabeth stood helpless in the center of the living room, surveying what had been, just an hour before, a happy home. Upon arrival, her thoughts had circled around Sam and the tantrum she'd thrown that night. She'd been so distracted she hadn't noticed the dinner and candles. All she could see was the wine. Numbly, she reached for the glass she'd pried from his hands and lifted it toward her lips. Three glasses was not drunk enough for the news she had received._

' _What if hypothetically he hadn't been a good person?'_

 _Well, that would mean that he had stalked and terrorized half of Port Charles for his own sick amusement. That he had kidnapped and attempted to kill Lucky's kid sister for no other reason than because she was in the wrong place at the wrong time. It would mean he was everything she had spent the last two years denying he was, and that was a reality she had been neither ready or willing to face._

 _She'd looked at Franco and seen a stranger. It wasn't until he was walking away from her that she was able to recognize him as the man she knew. In a fever of anger and disgust, she'd sent him away. Whatever strength she'd possessed in those moments was now gone as her knees buckled and she sunk to the floor. A shaky hand rose over her mouth. But it was too late to take the words back, and she couldn't, even if she wanted to._

' _Why not?' A voice inside her challenged._

' _Even if he did do those things, he's not that person anymore.'_

 _That was the lie she had always told herself. Those acts, despicable as they were, were influenced by the tumor and not a reflection of his true self. She had never considered the Franco of that era as part of the man she had chosen to share her life with._

' _How is this any different from being with Jason, who kills people for money,' she reasoned, "or Jason's choice to marry the woman who had stood by and done nothing while their infant son was kidnapped?'_

 _Both had made their share of mistakes, the other had chosen to overlook in order to be together. How was her forgiving Franco any different?_

' _I could do this,' she told herself as she reached for the phone. 'I can love a man who isn't perfect.'_

 _She pressed one and enter, and held her breath as it rang._

' _I don't know why I'm even freaking out about this.' She continued to talk herself down. 'I already knew how messed up he was before the rumor was removed, and that didn't matter. I fell in love with him.'_

 _She could marry a murderer. She could love a demon. But could she make love to him now, knowing what he was?_

 _Her thumb flew over the red button at the bottom, and she threw the phone on the couch. An anguished cry escaped her lips before she remembered the need for discretion, and her shoulders rocked as she wept bitterly._

 _Of all her ill-fated romances, this seemed the most unfair. Her entire life had been spent searching for love and acceptance without condition, and there had been many times she thought that search had come to an end. Lucky was supposed to be her soulmate, her permanent lock, and maybe he would have been, were it not for Helena's tricks. But they had come together just to fall apart, again and again, until he'd walked away from her and the boys. Jason had chosen the mob and the classless con. Ric was...Ric, and she and Nik were never on the same page at the same time._

 _Franco Baldwin was the first and only man to put her and her boys above all else. He made them his number one priority, and gave her a love no one could take away. Or so she had thought. But just because his head couldn't be turned by another, didn't make them unbreakable._

 _She could care less what Sam thought of her choices, and Jason had no room to judge. The only opinion that held any weight was that of her children and own. Right now, both she and the boys had never been happier than with the man she had just cast out of their house. But what about when the boys got older? What about her younger self?_

 _Everything else, she could forgive or forget, but the trauma of being invaded body and soul by another human being was one she knew intimately. How could she throw herself into his arms and not remember that he carried Sam to her honeymoon bed after she passed out in those same arms? How would she watch him unbutton his shirt and not imagine him slipping it off to place over the camera._

 _Her stomach lurched and she fled for the nearest trash bin, certain that wine she drank was about to make a second appearance._

" _Mom?" Cameron called out from the hall_

 _When there was no response, he walked toward the opening at the end until she came into view. Instinctively, he ran to her side, and pulled her hair back while she retched. When she was finished, she wiped her mouth while he wet a washcloth for her head._

" _What are you doing up," she took the cold compress from his hand and placed it to her forehead._

" _You know you have school in the morning."_

 _His eyes flicked over to messy kitchen and back to his mother._

" _I heard you in here," he shrugged as though the reply were self-explanatory. "Sounded like you could use a hand."_

 _She looked up at her teenage son, who was now the spitting image of Zander. Someday she would have to sit him down and tell him the truth about the man who had helped create him and why he wasn't part of his life._

' _Do you really want to add, why I let a rapist raise you and your brothers, to that list?'_

" _I'm supposed to be the one taking care of you," she mumbled guiltily as he moved to the stove and began cleaning up the leftovers on the stove._

 _He glanced back at her over his shoulder and felt the familiar ache of pity and obligation. She was right. It was her responsibility to take care of him, and sometimes she did. Most of his childhood had been blissfully ignorant of his mother's shortcomings. Until his dad left, and it was just him, her, and Aiden._

" _How bad was the fight," he asked, flossing over her previous comment._

 _Her head snapped in his direction._

" _What makes you think we were fighting?" She combed her hair back behind her ears with a weak smile._

 _Apparently, she wanted to pretend like he was still four, and ignorant of all adult interactions surrounding him._

" _Cause if all had gone according to plan you'd be in the bedroom right now." His head tilted for emphasis. "You know, not sleeping," he added suggestively._

 _Elizabeth blushed in horror and covered her face._

" _You're not supposed to know about that stuff yet," she wailed, more to herself than to him._

 _Again, he just shrugged. He was almost seventeen and had known for quite some time that the stork was just a myth parents told children to avoid "the talk."_

" _Do you think he's coming back?"_

 _The brunette opened her mouth to speak, and no words came out._

" _I honestly don't know what's going to happen," she sagged against the nearby cabinet._

" _Do you want him to?"_

 _He peeked over from the corner of his eye._

' _Yes!' Her insides screamed. Regardless of what he had done, she still loved him. More than that, she needed him. She had spent most of her life as the dedicated single mother, and though she cherished her boys, it was not the life she wanted for herself. Or for them. With Franco, she had a partner, and the boys had a man in their lives- one who would never turn their back on them as Jason and Lucky had._

 _She picked herself up off the floor and took the dish rag from Cameron's hand._

" _You go back to bed," she ordered, albeit in a gentle voice. "I can take it from here."_

 _He stared at her skeptically before offering a smile and stepping back from the sink. She watched as he disappeared down the hallway and listened for his door to latch. Once the dishes were finished and the table was cleared, she went back to the sofa and dug her phone from the couch cushions. Again, she pressed one and send, this time allowing the phone to ring._

" _Hello." He answered on the second ring. "Elizabeth?"_

 _The pain and desperation in his voice mirrored her own._

 _He gripped the phone tighter and prayed to every deity he could think of for this call to be a good omen._

" _I know it's you," he spoke tenderly and with such remorse. "I haven't stopped thinking about you and the boys since I left."_

 _She squeezed her eyes shut and a tear fell from the side._

 _When she didn't respond, his heart sank._

" _I miss you, and I know we can get past this if you'll just talk to me. Please!"_

 _She'd called with every intention of offering the olive branch he was begging for. But now that she had him on the line, she couldn't find it in herself to give it to him. Not yet at least._

" _I don't know how I feel about you right now," she fibbed. "But I want to know, no matter what happens, that we did everything we could to make this work."_

 _She glanced back once more at the empty hallway._

 _This wasn't selfish, she assured herself. It was just as much for them as it was for her._

" _I'll make arrangements for the boys tonight so we can meet up and talk about this."_

 _Franco released the breath he'd been holding._

" _Thank you, Elizabeth!" He groveled, earning a smirk that he couldn't see._

" _This doesn't mean that we're together," she snapped, "or that I forgive you. But I can't make an informed decision without the whole story so..."_

 _She let her threat hang in the air, and waited for his reply._

" _I understand," he nodded in agreement, and then she was gone._

 _He pulled the phone away from his ear and stared at her picture on the screen. Lovingly, he stroked her face with his fingertip, the edges of his lips turned upward. His smile quickly faded as her parting words echoed in his ears._

 _He cursed under his breath and ran his badge through the scanner on the side of the door. It beeped and shifted from red to green, granting him access to the art therapy room at General Hospital._

 _The background that had forced him out of Elizabeth's life also severely limited his options in temporary lodging. His first ex fiancé owned the only hotel in town. There were rooms above Kelly's and The Floating Rib, but he couldn't imagine the owners of those establishments giving him a place to stay. Especially since he had unpleasant history with the daughter of one of them. Though, it could have been much worse, had she been present when he showed up at Crimson to abduct her._

 _Lulu had Dante to come rescue her. Who would Maxie have had? The image of Damien Spinelli popped into his head, stuttering and stumbling about as the clock ticked down. She'd have been dead for sure._

' _Just as he'd planned,' he mused with a smirk._

 _He wasn't exactly proud of his actions when he looked back on that time. They were wrong and had set him back considerably in his new life. But they were also impressive and held a true sense of artistry that his current self did not._

 _Right or wrong, he missed the thrill of inspiration, and the satisfaction that came from seeing it made real. He'd assumed the tumor had taken his creativity and dastardly impulses, and over time he had come to accept and appreciate their absence._

 _Until Jason Morgan saw him in the hospital and gave him the beatdown he'd expected three years prior. That was when he knew the darkness inside him hadn't been removed, but lying dormant beneath the surface of his conscience, and his love for Elizabeth and her children. Hiding under his determination to be a better man was his sinister nature, and before he'd even thrown his first punch, Jason had awoken the monster within._

 _Despite his own protests for coexistence, the truth was he still enjoyed watching Jason fume and squirm. He reveled in their quiet disagreements and hushed threats while Jake and his mother stood mere feet away. His love was pure, and Jason or not, he wanted the nurse and her boys for himself. However, he also recognized the advantage his position in their life had given him._

' _All of which is moot if Morgan dies,' a voice hissed from the back of his mind._

 _An icy shiver rippled through him._

 _Love was a marvelous emotion that had once been beyond his imagining, but the Beatles were incorrect when they said it was all you need._

* * *

 _Just a floor below, Carly examined her phone for what had to be the seventh time that night, and was once again disappointed to see a blank screen. It wasn't that she minded spending the night by Jason's side. He was her best friend and there was nothing she wouldn't do for him. But it wasn't her place, and more importantly, it wouldn't be her name on his lips when he finally began to stir. Sam was his wife and the one he would ask for. She should have been the one sitting vigil at his bedside._

' _Says the woman who sent her away,' her inner critic snarked._

 _Her blue eyes darted over to Jason's face._

" _I know what you're thinking, and for once you're wrong." She lifted a finger in defense. "I didn't tell Sam to go so I could have you all to myself. I really was worried about her."_

 _That might be hard for him to believe, given their history, but it was true._

" _I'll admit, I can be selfish, and when I first realized that you were in trouble and Sam didn't tell me, I was furious and totally ready to stake my claim." She tucked her hair back behind an ear. "But then I remembered that she's my friend too, and she's isn't trying to take you away from me. She could have done that years ago, not that I would have admitted or accepted that," she shrugged with a tearful smile, "she never even tried."_

 _Her shoulders rose up to her cheeks._

" _I get it now. It took me way too long, but I finally understand why you love her and why she's the one for you."_

 _An eerie sense of deja vu washed over her as she thought back to the toast she'd made at Sam and Drew's wedding. Only back then, he had been Jason, and her words had seemed to apply to the love he shared with Sam._

 _She knew better now, of course. Drew had proven, even before they learned about "Patient Six" or Andrew Cain, that he couldn't be the man for Sam. Otherwise, he'd have realized she was behaving strangely before she shot Sonny and left him for dead. He would have sensed her hesitation to purchase Aurora, and her shame for marrying the wrong man._

 _Still, the parallel had caught her off guard and made her question all she knew._

" _I also think I get why you haven't been pushing her," the blonde hung her head with a sigh._

" _I thought it was cause you didn't believe me or you thought you didn't deserve her, but that wasn't it, was it?"_

 _She paused expectantly, giving him the chance to reply. He didn't though._

" _You want her to come to it on her own," she whispered knowingly. "And the rest of us are just messing up your plan every time we try to help you two along. It's sweet," her voice rose slightly, "and selfless, and completely like you."_

 _She shook her head at the simplicity of his thinking._

" _But it's also stupid!"_

 _Her spine straightened as she sat back up._

" _You know what else is stupid? Offering to give up everything you own to a man you don't even know. You're lucky, you know. If it had been Elizabeth he married, you'd be left with nothing right now. But Sam loves you enough not to let you do that. She told you to fight for what's yours. Did you ever stop to think maybe that includes her and Danny?"_

 _Jason lay there, still and silent. Just as he had for the last four hours while she had raved about Nelle and her incessant drama, complained about Sonny and his endless "business" meetings, and reprimanded him for making her the last to know of his troubles in Tetepare. When that hadn't worked she'd resorted to chastising him about Sam and degrading his favorite damsel. But nothing had worked. No matter how many buttons she pressed, he gave no response._

 _Carly scooted the chair closer, til her knees touched the bed. Then she took his hand in hers and let the tears fall._

" _See, usually the way this works is I say something selfish or judgmental, and then you argue with me. So come on Jason," she urged impatiently, "tell me why you won't fight for the woman you love, or how Elizabeth," she spoke the name with a tone of disgust, "is a better person than I think she is. I don't care what you say, just say something," she pleaded._

 _The machines beeped and hummed in rhythm, but Jason never made a sound._

" _You have to wake up, okay? If not for Sam or the kids, then for me. I know you think that I don't need you, maybe you think the last five years proves that none of us do, but if that's what you think you're wrong. I made so many stupid mistakes that you never would have stood by and let me make. I mean, if you knew some of the things I did..."_

 _If the last few hours alone together had established anything, it was that he couldn't hear a word she was saying. If she couldn't be brutally honest with him now, when could she?_

" _You were right about Todd. He wasn't a good guy. We went our separate ways not long after you were shot."_

 _She fixated on his hand, afraid to look up into his face._

" _I don't really even remember how it happened or why, but I got involved with Franco somehow, and before you bolt up and start yelling, yes I know what an idiot I was."_

 _Her azure orbs caressed his features, seeking some type reaction. Which was silly because Jason would never yell at her or call her an idiot. He would just chock it up to Carly being Carly, and love her anyway because that's the kind of man he was._

" _I'm being an idiot now," she said with a tone of amusement. "Here I am doing everything in my power to get a rise out of you, when I know that's not how you operate. The harder I try, the more determined you probably get to stay asleep."_

 _The blonde chuckled to herself with a smile._

" _I should know better by now."_

 _The door cracked open and her head snapped in that direction, hoping the missing brunette would finally resurface. Her lips pressed together in a disappointed frown when the head nurse entered instead. She watched as the older woman monitored Jason's progress and made notes on his chart. When she was finished Epiphany looked down at the visitor with a sympathetic gaze._

" _I'm afraid I have to ask you to leave now," she said as kindly and professionally as possible._

 _The blonde peered up at her, a flash of determination in her eyes._

" _I can't-" she rose from her chair, ready to do battle. "I promised Sam I wouldn't leave his side, and she's not back yet."_

 _Epiphany frowned and sucked in a deep breath to maintain her calm exterior. She took that moment to remind herself that Carly was only being a thorn in her side because she was worried for her friend. That helped...a little._

" _I'm afraid you have no choice," she tried again. "Shift change is coming up, and as you know, we don't allow visitors on the floor during that time-"_

" _To protect the privacy of the patients," the blonde finished her statement. "Yes, I remember."_

 _She looked over at Jason one last time, who still showed no sign of consciousness as far as she could tell._

" _The doctor said he'd make a full recovery." Her attention turned to the head nurse at her side. "Shouldn't he be awake by now?"_

 _They both knew she couldn't give her a straight answer. It was a violation of his rights to discuss his treatment with non-family members and she could offer no guarantees, but that didn't prevent the hard lines of her face from softening or the feeble attempt at comfort she gave._

" _Jason's body has been put through a lot the last couple of weeks, and that kind of damage takes time to heal," she cautioned delicately, "I know it doesn't look like he's doing much in that bed, but right now he's storing his strength, and when he's ready, he'll use it to fight his way back."_

 _Carefully, she laid a hand on Carly's shoulder._

" _Your job is not to give up on him before then. Let him set the pace."_

 _The blonde nodded, smiling with gratitude and slipped quietly out of the room. She rummaged through her bag until she found her phone and dialed Sam's number. Within seconds, the voicemail picked up. Either she was sound asleep, or screening her calls. Both possibilities were cause for concern._

 _Suddenly, she froze and glanced around the empty hallway. When no one was seen, she dismissed the suspicion and walked toward the elevator._

 _Franco waited until both women had taken their leave before sneaking in and closing the door behind him. Once they were alone, he moved closer to the sleeping figure in the bed, hovering over his helpless body. He'd promised himself he wouldn't go there, but the temptation had proven too great to resist._

" _Hello Jason." Franco crooned over the man he'd systematically victimized for years. "Please, don't get up on my account," he teased._

 _He knew if his old foe were awake and alert he'd have leapt from that bed to get to him, but fortunately Mr. Morgan was weak and particularly vulnerable at the moment._

' _Do you hear yourself?' He challenged his inner demon. 'Weak, vulnerable. You sound like a predator!'_

 _He kept walking until there was no space between them._

' _Maybe I am,' he thought._

 _A quick glance of the surrounding equipment was made before he turned his focus back to the man in the bed._

" _Oh, the things I could do to you right now," he smirked devilishly. "I could cut off your oxygen," he said, fingering the tube. "I could tamper with your IV. In your current condition that might have some nasty side effects like stroke or death."_

' _Which is the exact opposite of what you want,' his head reminded._

 _He plopped down in the chair meant for loved ones and made himself at home._

" _I don't actually want to kill you,' he confessed nonchalantly. "The truth is I need you alive. Partly to prove to myself I'm not a heartless psycho, and partly because the game's no fun without an opponent."_

 _He paused, and his eyes lit up with recognition. Had he just stumbled on the answer to all his soul searching? After years of asking himself if he was in fact good or evil, could it be as simple as realizing he was both?_

 _Even so, that still left him with a moral dilemma._

" _But see, here's the paradox to you and me. I need you in order to be whole, but you cost me everything I want."_

 _He scooted to the edge of his seat._

" _I could be a good man, a loving father and husband. I could help others with my craft. I could be the man Elizabeth wants me to be-"_

 _His dark gaze settled once more on the blonde's "stone cold" expression._

" _If I could just get you out of my system."_

 _He thought back again to that overwhelming emptiness he'd felt five years before. The same one he'd gotten a glimpse of earlier that night. If there was any doubt of the power Jason Morgan still wielded over him before, it was gone now._

" _Fortunately for you, that's something not even your death can cure."_

* * *

 _Had she known who was waiting around the corner, Carly never would have left the hospital. But at the time she was distracted and in search of her other best friend, who had gone MIA since being sent home. She stepped out of the elevator and onto the penthouse floor, ending the fifth call she'd made on her way over; which like all the others, had resulted in voicemail._

" _Sam!"_

 _Her fist pounded on the door and she shouted from the hall._

" _I know you're in there. Open up."_

 _The brunette rolled lazily off the couch and caught herself seconds before hitting the ground. She then picked herself up and slowly trudged toward the banging sound. Finally, she flung the door open, clearly in no mood for company._

 _That didn't stop the blonde from inviting herself in._

" _What are you doing here," she asked bewildered._

' _How did you get here,' she thought, remembering the car in the garage didn't belong to her._

" _You weren't answering any of my calls or texts. I was worried, and I was running out of material-"_

" _So you just left Jason alone...?"_

 _Carly turned, getting a glimpse of the red puffy eyes her friend wore._

" _I had to. Shift change," she explained. Sam nodded, she also knew all about the daily ritual of kicking visitors off the floor._

" _Now tell me what happened," she said, sitting down on the sofa. "You look even worse now than you did at the hospital."_

 _Her dark eyes narrowed as she moved to take the seat across from her companion._

" _Gee thanks."_

 _Carly sent her a look._

" _You know what I mean. You look upset, and tired. Did you ever get that nap in?"_

 _Sam shook her head. She hadn't eaten either. After crying herself sick, food was nothing more than a pipe dream for her stomach._

 _She scrubbed her knees and lowered herself into the adjacent chair._

" _I took your advice and I told Drew everything; how I knew he wasn't Jason, how I got involved with the investigation behind his back, and how living his version of a safer life hasn't made me any happier or less afraid than I was before." She blew out a deep sigh._

' _Rip it off like a bandaid,' she told herself._

" _We both let our tempers get the better of us, and in the end, decided a trial separation might be best."_

 _Neither one had called it that, but they both knew what it was._

" _What does that mean," the blonde asked, leaning forward._

" _I don't know, we didn't really talk about it. He just said that he was moving out and he'd be waiting for me when I was ready, and then he left."_

 _She punctuated the sentence with a shrug of her shoulders._

" _Wow!" Carly's eyes twinkled with disbelief._

' _No wonder she never made it back to the hospital.'_

 _How could Sam go running to Jason after Drew just walked out on her? She couldn't. Her guilt wouldn't allow it. Neither would the demand for balance between the brothers._

" _So what are you going to do," she probed, only to be met with a listless demeanor and a sharp glare._

 _That was the million dollar question, and one she had spent the last four hours contemplating. There was also no good answer. The idea of a future without Drew was beyond her comprehension. She simply couldn't imagine it. All she could see was the hole where he should be, but wouldn't. And it frightened her. She also loved him. She wasn't exactly sure how much of the man she loved was real and how much was the influence of her husband's memories, but she knew some fraction of Andrew Cain was a part of the person she had befriended as Jake Doe and cherished as Jason Morgan._

 _It wasn't the same as what they had before, but it was something they could potentially build on. If they both wanted that. And if not, hopefully they could remain close and peacefully coexist. But they both had to start taking steps forward if they were ever going to find out._

" _I'm going to focus on my kids." Her tone was confident and bright. "And work on myself. I'm going to take a break from Aurora, because well, I hate it."_

 _The two women shared a chuckle._

" _I'm going to keep investigating," she declared matter-of-factly. "Because it's important to me. It affects people I care about. And... because it makes me happy."_

 _Her lips curled and her eyes lit up._

" _I got such a rush just digging into the research, and yeah I was scared on the island, but once I started building my self-esteem and hit my stride, I kind of enjoyed it."_

 _Maxie's words that day on the playground echoed back in that moment. She had sworn her involvement was solely about protecting the people she loved, and had meant the words when she said them, but the sassy fashionista had predicted what she couldn't._

 _Sam made a mental note to apologize the next time she saw her._

" _You would," the blonde grinned knowingly._

 _There was still one matter that had yet to be touched on._

" _This all sounds great, but what about Jason? While you're working on you and Drew is waiting, what's he supposed to do?"_

 _Sam pressed her lips together and avoided her sapphire gaze._

' _ **What about Jason?'**_

 _Jason was still her husband and she knew her separation from Drew would affect him as well. She just hadn't let herself think that far. At present, she couldn't think beyond her first twenty-four hours without the man who had been by her side every day of the last few years._

 _She ran a hand through her dark, curly, waves, dragging them all to one side._

" _You know Jason. He's going to do whatever he feels is right."_

 _Her cocoa pools glanced sideways at the blonde, who stared her down while flinging herself back into the couch cushions and folding her arms._

 _The same hand then flew up in frustration._

" _I shouldn't have to make that decision for him, and I'm not going to. I'm going to do what I feel is right and they get to decide how they handle that. I told them both already, I don't want to be responsible for anyone but myself in this scenario."_

 _Carly kinked a brow and eyed her suspiciously._

" _So you're telling me that if Jason or Drew decides they don't want to wait for you to figure yourself out and they move on, you're okay with that?"_

 _The brunette leapt from her seat, but still felt the spotlight of her friend's interrogation._

" _Of course I wouldn't be!" Both hands lifted into the air this time. "The only reason I'm in this situation is because I care deeply about both of them and I would hope that goes both ways. But if it happened, you know what? I'd put my big girl panties on and suck it up, no matter how much it killed me because we have children to raise together, and because I want them to be happy."_

 _She was pacing now._

" _Jason and Drew have both lost so much already, I can't ask them to give anything else up. I can't ask them to wait for me. And if they find someone else before I figure myself out," she spun on her heels to face Carly once more. "Well then, I guess it wasn't meant to be."_

 _Everyone seemed to think she held all the power because she was the one both men wanted. In reality, she was just as helpless as they were. Drew could wake up one morning and remember someone from his past he loved more. Or Jason could play hero to the wrong damsel and find himself seeking comfort in the wrong arms. It was just as possible that she could lose them both and end up alone._

 _The blonde unfolded her arms and rose from her position on the couch._

" _I'm sorry."_

 _Her voice and eyes both told Sam the apology was sincere._

" _I know this is hard on you and I'm not trying to make it worse. Drew blindsided you with this big, uncharacteristic gesture and now you probably feel even more indebted to him than before. But you can't turn your back on Jason-"_

 _Defiance flashed in her chocolate orbs._

" _When have I ever done that?"_

 _Carly stood unflinching._

" _I'm not saying you have. I'm just saying you need to decide how you're going to deal with him and Drew in the meantime."_

 _The brunette shrunk at her defensive outburst. Carly wasn't attacking her. She was only helping her look at the situation realistically._

" _You're right."_

 _The blonde perked at her admission and cracked a smile._

" _Yes, I said it!" Sam confirmed, smiling too. "And I'm not going to abandon Jason. Or Drew," she insisted. "I'm just going to take things a day at a time and focus what I can control: myself."_

 _Carly smirked._

" _And what have you decided for today?"_

 _Sam's hands swung out in front of her, meeting each other halfway._

" _That I'm not going to sit here crying and feeling sorry for myself."_

 _Her head angled to the side, catching a view of the sunlight through the window. The hour between shifts was likely almost over._

" _I'm going to go visit Jason," she started to explain her decision and then rethought._

' _Why should I have to?'_

 _Why did she feel like she had to validate her decision to anyone else?_

' _ **You shouldn't.'**_

 _Why should it matter if she was going because he was Danny's father or because she cared about him and wanted to know how he was doing? If she wanted to be there when he woke up, that was her business, wasn't it?_

 _Then she looked down at herself. The clothes were clean but hair was in tangled and her eyes were probably red with black circles. She wanted to see Jason, but she didn't want him to see her like this._

' _I wouldn't want anyone to see me like this,' she reasoned, falling back into that need for an excuse._

" _But I can't go like this."_

 _Carly quickly agreed and the brunette ran up the stairs to make herself more presentable. She threw on a clean pair of jeans and a burgundy sweater that revealed her left shoulder and sleeves that fell just below the elbows. Her curls were mussed and left to do as they pleased and a thin layer of makeup disguised the blemishes her tears and sleeplessness had caused._

 _The blonde exclaimed her approval as she descended the stairs and pulled a pair of black boots from the closet. She watched with a shrewd grin as Sam's gaze landed on the leather jacket in the back of the closet, before selecting a pair of matching boots and closing the door. For the first time in months, she recognized her friend as she slipped the shoes in place and zipped them up. She knew the brunette still had a long way to go, but at least now she was on the right path._

 _The emergency room was unusually congested when they entered. Doctors and nurses scrambled past while potential patients filled every seat in the waiting area, and both women couldn't help but notice that Epiphany was still among the staff, despite being there all night. And Elizabeth Webber was not._

 _Sam glanced over toward her friend, who was already sending her telepathic snark through her facial expressions._

" _I guess if she can't get to Jason, she figured why bother showing up," she leaned over and whispered._

 _The brunette stifled a giggle and continued walking, but did not miss the stink eye the head nurse shot her way. Clearly, she too blamed the ban for being understaffed. She did feel bad that Epiphany had been forced to step up for her underling, but she couldn't muster enough sympathy to regret her actions._

 _The hallway was less oppressive with a friend by her side, but it was still a daunting trek down the corridor. Side by side, they walked until a muffled voice caught Sam's ear._

 _Her head whipped to the side._

" _I thought no one was allowed on the floor?"_

 _The blonde paused, perplexed by her reaction._

" _Only the employees. It's probably the new doctor." Her expression lightened. "Maybe we can get an update," she added hopefully._

 _Her dark eyes snapped back to Jason's door._

" _No," her breath hitched as her brain registered the memory._

" _I know that voice."_

 _Her steps hastened as she made her way down the hall. With each step her legs began to tingle and she wasn't sure if it was due to her rushed pace or a sign of what was to come once she reached the room. Her sprint broke out into a full fledged run. She didn't even stop for breath as her fingers curled around the handle and thrust the door open only to find Franco Baldwin making himself at home at Jason's bedside._

" _What the hell do you think you're doing in here," she barked, startling the former "artist" at the tail end of his soliloquy._

 _He hadn't planned on getting caught, least of all by her._

" _I am a member of personnel," he said smugly as he rose from the chair and flashed his hospital ID._

" _I'm well within my parameters," he assured her, to no avail._

 _The pint-sized brunette burned with hatred as she stared him down and stepped closer._

" _I don't care what that shiny badge says." She flipped the hard plastic up into his face. "Or that idiotic judge. You are the vilest thing that has ever lived. You have no heart. You have no soul. You're just an empty void who gets his kicks by terrorizing others. And if you come near my husband again-" she spat, with the fury of a vengeful goddess, "I will bury you."_

 _His chin lifted instinctively, to boast an insincere confidence._

" _Is that a threat," he replied in the cavalier tone she found infuriating._

 _She leaned closer and whispered menacingly._

" _That's a promise."_

 _Her words alone failed to unsettle him, but the wild gleam in her eye when she spoke them told him she meant every syllable._

 _Just as he was about to respond Carly entered in the middle of their standoff._

" _What the hell," she muttered, looking to Sam for answers. "Why is he here?"_

 _Franco tugged anxiously at his shirt and straightened his work pass._

" _Relax, I only came to observe. Since someone," his gaze lasered in on the brunette, "had Elizabeth unceremoniously barred from her own duties and denied her access to her friend, I thought I'd check in on him and ease her mind."_

' _Assuming she'll hear me out long enough to listen' half of him agonized, while the other commended him on the perfect cover._

" _And now, if you'll excuse me," he said as he made his way toward the door. "I have patients to help and a paycheck to earn."_

 _Sam remained where she stood but her eyes followed him across the room and out the door. Once he was gone, her eyelids fluttered down and she took a long, deep breath to steady her nerves. Six long years had passed since the night he'd laid her in her honeymoon bed and there were still moments she couldn't see or hear him without remembering the feeling of him beside her through the drug induced haze._

 _She heard Carly's heels clanking against the floor as she neared._

" _Hey." She began to reach out but thought better of it. If Sam was where the blonde thought she was, touch might only trigger her further._

" _You okay?"_

 _Her eyes opened and immediately sought out his face. The sideways smirk she'd imagined was gone now, proof her mind had been playing tricks on her, and still was. For now, when she looked down at him, he almost seemed to frown, as if he'd known who was there and expressed his disapproval the only way he was free to do so._

" _I don't know whether to be disappointed or relieved."_

 _Her voice shook with unease._

" _I want him to wake up," she twisted toward the blonde, "I need him to wake up, but if he'd opened his eyes and Franco was the first thing he'd seen..."_

 _She clutched her middle, as though holding herself, still visibly shaken by the encounter._

" _I'll call Sonny and get the guards over here." She gingerly reaches out and touched the brunette at her elbow. "We'll make sure this doesn't happen again."_

 _Sam nodded and watched while her companion yanked her phone from her purse and made a beeline for the door._

" _I guess it's just you and me now."_

 _Her eyes trailed back to Jason's unconscious form._

' _Or really just me since I don't even know if you can hear me,' her inner pessimist commented._

" _You, me, and the endless string of doctors, nurses, and visitors that march in and out all day long," she added with sigh._

" _I know you hate that. I do too..."_

 _She trailed off, losing her train of thought._

" _I hate being here," she confessed under her breath. "I know it's part of your family's legacy and the place has been good to us over the years..."_

 _One side of her mouth titled upward._

" _I mean, we are still here," she sat down next to him on the side of the bed. "But we're also still here."_

 _This time her emphasis was on the final word._

" _You know, the entire time we were together, all I heard was how dangerous you were, how I was putting myself at unnecessary risk in order to be with you. And I think everyone thought once you were gone, that would be it. You know, I'd be safe and so would Danny."_

 _She tousled her kinky spirals, and tilted her head to the side._

" _What they didn't understand was that I was safest with you. And I didn't have to go looking for trouble. It found me, in the strangest and most unexpected ways."_

 _She twisted to examine his face. Now that her own rage had faded, he didn't appear angry anymore. He didn't seem peaceful, like before, either. He was just there; silent and still._

" _I don't know if anyone has told you this yet, but I was actually kidnapped by a vampire."_

 _She imagined his puzzled expression._

" _I know, how random is that? The guy had fangs and everything and it was just a weird coincidence that I happened to look like his head wife. But anyway, he took me and for the first time since we met, I knew," she nibbled on the inside of her lip, "I knew you weren't coming for me...because you couldn't...because you were gone..."_

 _She decided to skip over the part where John Mcbain had rescued her, and Silas Clay had come into the picture._

" _And then Danny got sick. Overnight, he went from this happy, smiling, energetic child to a baby in a hospital crib, fighting for his life."_

 _Which felt just as random and twice as scary. The only thing that frightened her more than leaving their son was losing him. The possibility was more than she could bear._

" _When I told you that you were there with me, I didn't just mean in my thoughts. Of course, I thought about you and I wished you were there. But it was more than that. I talked to you. I felt you Jason, and I think Danny did too."_

" _Okay, so I talked with Sonny and Max and Milo are," the blonde stopped cold in her tracks. Her gaze darted from Jason's face to Sam's._

" _What were you talking about," she asked, and resumed her stride._

 _The brunette shrugged. Truth be told, she wasn't sure. She seemed to have tapped into an emotional vein in the midst of their one-sided conversation and lost track of her thoughts._

" _I was just talking." Her dark brows knit together. "Why?"_

 _She looked down at Jason, and saw the cause of Carly's curiosity; tear tracks down the side of Jason's face._

 _Her coffee colored orbs flew back up to meet the bright blue questioning stare of the woman next to her._

" _Do you think he heard you?"_

 _Sam felt the familiar chill of panic as it slithered through her. She couldn't remember what she'd said, but knew it was likely something she wouldn't have felt comfortable sharing had he been awake. But if he could hear her and respond that meant he was hovering closer to consciousness than the doctor had led them to believe._

" _I'm going to go find the doctor," Carly's smile spread from one ear to the other. "You stay here, and just keep talking to him."_

 _With those final words, she was out the door and they were alone again._

' _Okay, no pressure,' she attempted to talk herself down, 'just...talk to him. I can do that.'_

 _She placed her hands on the sides of his face, careful not to wipe at the wet streaks that fallen down the edges of his eyes._

" _Is she right? Can you hear me? Do you understand what I'm saying?"_

 _The only reply came in the form of another tear that trickled down onto her fingertips._

" _I don't know if that's a yes or no. Can you answer or nod?"_

' _I just need a sign' she pleaded silently._

 _Her eyes slipped down to his hand with an inward groan. She did not want to be that cliche, but if he couldn't open his eyes, speak, or move his head, that might be her only option._

 _Reluctantly, she placed her hand in his._

" _Can you feel this," she asked, giving his hand a firm squeeze._

 _At first, nothing happened. But just when she started to pull her hand away, his fingers curled, ever so slightly around hers, as if to say don't go._


	27. Chapter 25

_**A/N: I am SO sorry it's taken so long. It's been a rough few weeks. Nothing like your beloved family pet dying and an ear infection to get the first few weeks of school rolling. But enough about me, let's talk about you and your amazing support that means so much to me! Thank you again for every view, follow, fave, and especially review. You taking time out of your day to read my words and give your thoughts means EVERYTHING!**_

* * *

 _Sam stared down at his fingers wrapping themselves around hers, too shocked to process the meaning behind the gesture. Her red-rimmed eyes brimmed with a fresh round of tears and her breath stilled. She was literally choking on the hopeful flutter in her chest, but could only feel the rush of dopamine and adrenaline coursing her veins._

" _Jason?" Her voice broke at the end of his name. "Baby, can you hear me?"_

 _She didn't know why she'd called him that nor did she allow herself to dwell on the Freudian slip of her tongue._

 _Her lips curved into a smile as she felt a gentle pressure against her hand._

' _You can.'_

 _Her mind began to race with all the words she'd been holding back. There was one truth among Liz's manipulations the night before. Tomorrow was promised to no one. Jason could have died believing her lies, and that was a risk she couldn't stand for a second longer._

" _I don't know if you heard me tell you this last night or not, but I knew it was you, Jason. The second I looked up and saw your face, I had all these reasons not to believe what I was seeing, but I could feel it. I knew you had me and that I was safe," she scooted closer, caressing his hand with both of hers, "and that the man I married wasn't who I thought he was."_

 _Her dark eyes cast upward, fighting back the swells of shame and regret rising up inside._

" _And when you came to see me in the hospital, I didn't know what to say or what to do." The brunette paused, reflecting on that first encounter between father and son. "All I wanted was the chance to tell you Danny was yours. I imagined it so many times, and when I did, it was always this happy occasion."_

 _Her head shook from side to side._

" _And when I finally got the chance, I couldn't. I had to sit there and act like I was talking to a stranger, but I knew I wasn't. And I told myself I was doing the right thing."_

 _A humorless chuckle passed her lips._

" _Worse, I told myself I was doing the merciful thing because I thought telling the truth would only hurt everyone more. So I tried to keep my distance...but I couldn't. I needed to see you, to be near you."_

 _Sam huffed in frustration._

" _Of course, that wasn't enough. I had to reach out and touch you...," the memory of slipping her hand into his and leading him away from the pier flashed through her mind. "And hold you..." followed by the memory of melting into his arms in Sonny's office, "kiss you..."_

 _Drew had swiftly dismissed her transgression as a momentary slip into old habits. It would be easy for her to do the same. The situation was intense and the stakes were high. A fleeting lapse in thought would be understood and accepted by all. But that wasn't the case. She'd wasted many hours imagining the feel of his lips over hers again, and the taste she'd gotten in Tetepare only left her wanting more._

" _Which wasn't fair to you or your brother...and it shouldn't have happened. Not when I was committed to someone else. Not when I can't promise you anything..."_

" _But you're not sorry you did it," a familiar voice floated from the doorway. Sam turned to see the blonde hovering in the frame._

" _How long have you been standing there," she asked, wiping away the evidence of her breakdown._

" _Awhile." Carly replied, stepping into the room and closing the door behind her._

" _How much did you hear?"_

 _Her shoulders rose and fell, but she wore a knowledgeable smirk._

" _Enough," her heels clicked against the floor as she continued to close the distance between herself and her friends. "The question is, did he?"_

 _The brunette's head bobbed up and down in an encouraging nod._

" _I think so, yeah. I asked him if he could hear me and he squeezed my hand," her eyes snapped down and her smile grew. "He's doing it right now. I think he's trying to tell us he's here."_

 _Carly grinned and took his other hand._

" _What about me?" Her words were entitled but the tone was soft and warm. "Can I get one of those?"_

 _Her eyes fell to his fingers while she watched and waited. After a few seconds she turned to the companion at her side._

" _Nothing's happening," she blurted with concern._

 _Sam glanced down at their joined hands and then back toward her friend. She knew Jason loved Carly and would never intentionally leave her out. If he wasn't responding, it was because he couldn't._

" _Maybe that hand isn't strong enough yet," she offered, with a weak smile. "Here, try this one."_

 _Reluctantly, she let go and stepped back so Carly could come over and take her place. She stood by as the blonde circled the bed and took his hand in her own._

" _Okay, let's try this again," she mumbled, wracking her brain for something to say._

 _Before she could decide on a question or comment, she felt a gentle pressure against her palm. Her face lit up and immediately her gaze flew up to Sam, who was on the sidelines with a reserved smile._

" _Thanks for that," she smiled at the woman standing by. "I have to admit, I'm a little jealous."_

 _She chuckled when her friend eyed her suspiciously._

" _I sat here for hours trying to get a reaction out of him, and got nowhere. Then you walked in and..." she trailed off with a wave of her hand. "I don't know why I do that, compare what he and I have to what he has with other people. I guess it's because I want to be important, you know? I want to know that no matter who comes into his life, I'm always going to matter."_

" _You do," the brunette interjected with confidence, "and you always will." Her hand combed down the center of her head. "Jason would do anything for you. He'd go to prison. He'd lay down his life. All you have to do is say the word and he'll come running."_

" _And you hate that," the blonde guessed with a wry smile._

 _Sam folded her arms and clutched her elbows._

" _No," she denied instantly, "I'll admit sometimes I'm jealous." Her dark eyes shifted over to Jason, who was likely hearing every word. "But becoming your friend has helped me realize that deal goes both ways. You can be a lot of drama," she teased, "and a lot of work, but you're there when it counts."_

 _Just then, they heard knuckles wrapping on the side of the door frame. Both women turned to see Doctor Griffin Monroe, who greeted them with a verbal salutations and a smile._

 _Sam felt her muscles relax as he entered the room. They weren't close, by any means, but an acquaintance seemed better than having a stranger treat Jason._

 _He glanced sideways at the blonde, the two shared a look of pure annoyance._

" _Mrs. Corinthos, you're still here," he mumbled before turning his focus to the patient and his next of kin._

" _I heard there's been a development this morning, something not on file or evidenced by the machines?"_

 _The brunette nodded and shifted toward her unconscious husband. It was clear he and Carly had already spoken on the subject and his tone indicated skepticism of their claims. Not that she could blame him. Jason had been brought in on death's doorstep and had spent only a few hours on the treatment. By all accounts, it was too soon for any major progress in recovery. But it was happening._

" _Yes," she confirmed with a voice iron in will. "He's been reacting to conversations." She thought back to all the times she'd thought she'd seen a smile or frown and dismissed the possibility. "I'm not sure exactly how long," she continued. "I thought I saw a smirk when I was teasing him last night, and when I came in today it was gone. He was almost scowling. But I wasn't sure. I thought it was all in my head until we were talking and Carly came in and saw the tears"_

 _The doctor stepped closer to examine his face. Sure enough, faint tracks lined the edges of his eyes._

" _That is...something," he conceded cautious not to provide false hope. "Do you remember what you were discussing?"_

 _She shook her head regrettably._

" _Not really. I have a tendency to ramble sometimes, but Jason, he's patient with me. He just lets me talk until I figure out what it is I'm trying to say."_

 _The ends of her mouth rose with the character statement she'd given._

 _He smiled sympathetically._

" _I'm sure Mr. Morgan is an excellent listener." His lips rounded into a frown. "I'm just not sure he's listening right now. The tears are encouraging, but without the ability to communicate or a clue to the subject matter, it's difficult to say whether they're a physical or emotional reaction."_

 _He went on to explain how patients had been known to exhibit symptoms as a result of nightmares or pain, and many other potential causes._

 _Carly appeared just as defiant as when he'd first encountered her that morning. The wife, on the other hand, seemed overwhelmed, disconnected even._

 _Logically, she had every reason to believe Griffin, but the voice in her head was shouting something very different and contradictory. Images of Jason flashed through her mind, each the same as the last._

" _Jason doesn't cry," she turned back toward Griffin sharply. "I've seen him shot, blown up. I've seen him with headaches so bad they were literally killing him and he does the same thing every time. He closes his eyes and takes deep breaths. He fights through the pain, but he doesn't cry."_

 _Her chocolate gaze darted to Carly, who quickly recognized her plea and stepped up in her defense._

" _She's right. I've known Jason even longer than she has and no amount of physical pain has ever made him respond emotionally."_

 _Dr. Monroe sighed as the two women stared him down expectantly._

" _Look, I know it sounds crazy but you don't know Jason like I do. Because if you did, you would know better than to bet against him. He's the strongest, most determined person you will ever meet. He fights with everything he has and he does not give up."_

 _Carly stood by, beaming with pride and satisfaction as Sam described her best friend. Moments like this were how she knew the brunette wasn't nearly as lost as she seemed to believe._

 _Sam stepped between him and the bed, just as she had done with Franco. Instinctively, she reached for him._

" _If you're worried about wasting hospital resources, I will personally pay for whatever tests you need to run. But Jason is doing everything he can to let us know that he's here and he's doing his part. Right now, you're his doctor and I expect you to do yours as well."_

 _One glance at the united front of formidable women at Jason's defense and he knew there was no hope of breaking through. Both were firm in their belief that the patient was waking up and neither were willing to hear reason. Why should they, the former priest in him challenged. Odds were nothing more than a calculated statistic created by man. Miracles still could and occasionally did happen._

" _You're absolutely right," he relented with a weary smile. "I took an oath to help patients and that's exactly what I intend to do. As long as your husband is in my hands, I will do everything I can for him."_

' _ **Hands!'**_ _The voice shrilled._

" _He's moving too," she burst out suddenly, in disbelief that she had almost forgotten to mention the most important discovery. "He grabbed my hand earlier and when I asked if he could hear me he squeezed it."_

" _Me too," the blonde piped up from behind._

 _This announcement caught the young doctor off guard._

" _He's making contact on command?"_

" _Yes!" They both insisted._

 _Sporadic movements and unexplained emotional tags were one thing, but if he was doing it upon request, he could very well be closer to consciousness than the chart suggested._

" _I asked for a sign and he moved his fingers. Then I asked if he could hear me and he gripped my hand. Same with Carly. I told her what happened, she asked if he would do the same for her, and he did."_

 _Her head swiveled back toward Dr. Monroe._

" _May I?" He gestured toward the hand she was holding._

 _The brunette nodded and released his hand yet again. She watched, with her heart in her throat, as Griffin took it and began speaking to Jason directly._

" _Mr. Morgan, I'm Dr. Monroe. I'm treating you this morning."_

 _He felt a bit silly introducing himself this way, but if his wife was right and he could indeed hear and react to his surroundings, it seemed the congenial thing to do._

" _I'm going to take your hand and if you can hear me, I'd like you to give it a squeeze, please."_

 _The pressure against his hand was weak but instant._

" _That's very good."_

 _He looked back toward the women. One was smiling. The other had a distinct "I told you so" expression._

" _Now, can you give me a double squeeze?" If so, Sam might no longer have to act as proxy._

 _There was another squeeze, this one more faint than the last._

" _That's okay," Griffin assured, "you're doing great. I'm going to release your hand now and allow you to rest."_

 _He stepped back from the bed and motioned for the women to join him._

" _He's weak, tired. He's clearly aware of his surroundings and himself, but he's not strong enough to maintain the connection."_

 _Sam's chocolate gaze drifted back to Jason._

" _I'm going to let him rest for now, but I'd like to come back and run some tests in a few hours."_

 _The brunette nodded and he offered some final words of encouragement before leaving to check on his other patients._

" _Why aren't you smiling?" Carly asked her once they were alone. "This is good news."_

 _Sam continued to stare at her husband with concern-filled eyes. She was happy to know she wasn't going insane and that Jason was closer to waking up than the doctors expected. But there was still something gnawing at her._

 _She grabbed the blonde by the arm and pulled her out into the hallway, hopefully far enough that they couldn't be heard._

" _This happened with Drew too. When he was in that coma last year, he woke up and said that he could hear everything."_

 _Carly blinked and her brow furrowed in confusion._

" _Okay," she stretched the word past its two syllables, still processing. "That's weird, but I'm not sure it means anything. They are twins, after all."_

 _Sam looked back at Jason, forlorn._

 _Yes, Jason was awake and aware, but he was also trapped inside his own body; forced to allow someone else to speak for him. It was his very concept of hell. Which was exactly how Drew had described it._

" _You know he has to hate this..." the thought slipped from her lips before she could censor._

 _And what if something went wrong, and he never fully recovered? Jason wouldn't want to live that way._

 _Carly sighed, her spirit dampened. She'd been so excited about what his being conscious meant to her that she hadn't stopped to think about what it would mean for him. But Sam was right. Jason was probably losing his mind in there._

" _I know," she stroked the brunette's shoulder in a sisterly fashion, "but it's like you said, he doesn't give up. He's not going to stop fighting until he comes back to us."_

 _Her lips cracked into a smile._

" _I did say that, didn't I?"_

 _Carly grinned and quirked an eyebrow. "You did, and you were right."_

 _Her mouth fell open with feigned shock. "Did you just-"_

" _Yes, I did. Don't make me regret it by rubbing it in," the blonde shot back._

 _The two friends chuckled at one another and their reluctant friendship._

' _ **He's going to wake up,'**_ _the voice whispered, overcoming her doubts._

' _And I'll be here when he does,' she thought to herself with a hopeful smile._

* * *

 _Across town, Drew pulled into the familiar parking lot of the small business plaza. Memories of previous visits flooded his mind- some his, some not, as he exited the vehicle and walked toward the row of buildings. He paused when he came to the door of Dr. Mitchell's office. The appointment had been made in a fit of anger and frustration, and without much forethought. All he knew of this woman was what Kevin Collins had told him, and that was little to go on._

 _What if she couldn't help him?_

' _Then I'm no worse off,' he reminded himself._

 _No one understood exactly what had been done to him and no one knew whether or not it could be reversed or what would happen should he try. All Dr. Maddox could do was offer his research and give an estimated guess. Inserting memories was apparently more difficult and dangerous than dissecting them from the ones Drew had made for himself. Any attempts to remove one could potentially result in the loss of both, and that wasn't an option._

 _But if she could somehow bury those memories beyond his reach, he would be free. Finally, he could know his own heart and no one could question it._

 _With renewed hope he reached for the handle._

 _His eyes scanned the office, taking note of the vivid, colorful paintings on the wall, and lush green foliage strategically placed around the room. The receptionist desk was empty and littered with boxes- 'most likely patient files,' he thought._

" _Hello," he called out, just above his speaking voice. "Anyone here?"_

" _Be with you in just a second," a voice called from the back._

 _He nodded, and turned his head to examine the paintings closer. A tingle swept up his neck and across his face as he stared at the image to his left. His head turned sharply in the opposite direction and he caught a glimpse of the woman who had emerged with a watering can in hand._

 _Her dark eyes glistened with humor as she caught him in his flustered state._

" _I'm sorry is she," he pointed to the painting on the wall, unable to finish his sentence._

" _Naked?" The brunette chuckled under her breath as she began spreading the water between plants. "Yeah, they both are."_

 _He glanced back toward the painting, bashfully._

" _It's art Mr. Cain. It's meant to be looked at."_

 _His head moved toward his shoulder in a half-shrug._

" _I can't help but feel like I'm looking at something I shouldn't be, it's just so..." he studied the naked lovers in the throes of passion, searching for the right word. "Intimate."_

 _The woman smirked as she turned her attention to another plant._

" _Which is why I like it. It's not just aesthetically pleasing, it's humans at their most vulnerable and connected." She gazed amorously at the painting, with no hint of shame. "It's beautiful."_

 _He turned back to the image and fought his instinct to look away._

" _Yeah, I guess," he replied after a few seconds, "but to me, some things should just be sacred, you know? Between two people."_

' _Interesting,' she mused inwardly and set the can aside._

 _Drew stepped closer to the desk as she rooted through one of the boxes._

" _So how long have you worked for Dr. Mitchell," he asked casually._

 _The receptionist mumbled to herself as she searched for the sign in ledger, but did not respond._

" _Do you know her well?" He tried again._

 _Her brown eyes flicked upward at his question._

" _You could say that."_

" _Good," he grinned, leaning down to meet her gaze. "I'll give you twenty bucks right now to give me your uncensored opinion of the woman."_

 _Her lips curled into a conspiratorial smile._

" _What do you want to know, exactly?"_

' _Whether or not she can help me,' he immediately thought, but didn't say._

" _Is she good at what she does? Is she trustworthy?"_

 _The woman crooked her finger, beckoning him closer._

" _Honestly, depends on who you are and what you want from her, but I am decent enough not to take your money for that intel," she added with a quirked brow._

 _His blue eyes narrowed on the brunette. "You're..."_

" _Dr. Rowen Mitchell," she extended a hand for him to shake which he reluctantly took._

" _Rowen, as in I'm a rowin' the boat," He chuckled at his own joke, but the good doctor seemed less amused._

" _You think you're the first one to come up with that little zinger, Drewbacca?" She challenged, deflating his ego._

 _The blonde smirked and stroked the long course hair surrounding his jawline._

" _Drewbacca huh?" The edges of his mouth tipped upward. "Okay, that's fair. Do you insult all your patients or just the ones who mistake you for the receptionist," he teased._

" _It was an honest mistake," she shrugged, and tilted her head toward the office behind them. "My credentials are in the back if you'd like to check them before we continue."_

 _She picked up the watering can and proceeded to walk down the narrow hallway. Drew followed at a safe distance, taking in the scenery along the walls. The paintings were similar in color and style but the images were far less provocative._

 _They entered the office and Dr. Mitchell headed straight for a chair on the left side of the room. Drew hovered close to the doorway, examining the diplomas and awards on display. He couldn't help but notice there were no family photos or personal touches beyond the artwork and plant life._

" _Dr. Collins faxed over your patient files from his practice this morning, and I must say, yours is a most fascinating case."_

 _She crossed her legs and steadied a notepad on top of them._

" _Well, that puts me at a disadvantage then," he countered, turning to face her. "You know all about me, and I know next to nothing about you."_

 _She scribbled something down before meeting his gaze._

" _That's...interesting." She murmured, earning a suspicious glance from her patient. "It's just that most people aren't interested in knowing their therapist. As long as they get what they want, they don't care who it comes from."_

 _Drew couldn't argue with that mindset. In fact, it was that very thinking that had guided him to her._

" _I guess you could say I have trust issues," he mumbled with a frown. "I don't like having my time wasted by dishonest people."_

 _She nodded and made another note._

" _Well, in the name of honesty and building trust I will tell you after reviewing your file, I'm not sure I can give you what you're hoping for, or even that I should."_

 _His eyes widened at her admission and his mouth went dry. With that one statement, his hope was evaporating._

" _I don't understand," his voice rose in frustration, "I was told you could help me, that you'd had success with missions like this."_

" _I have," she remained calm despite his growing temper. "But you're not talking about a specific event. You're trying to repress an entire lifetime of memories." She stressed the significance of the word lifetime. "Even if I could manage to bury them all, they would still be a part of you and your subconscious mind."_

" _Who cares," his voice bellowed throughout the room. "As long as I don't have to watch them playing out in my head anymore! As long as I'd have the memories I made!"_

 _The brunette sat patiently, her pinky hovering at the edge of her lips, until he was finished. Then she sat the pen down and leaned forward in her chair._

" _Correct me if I'm wrong," she clasped her hands together atop her knees, "but isn't the whole point of what you're asking me to do so you can be your own man, free of your brother's memories and their possible influence?"_

 _The angles of his face went soft as his anger gave way to defeat and hopelessness._

 _Rowen smiled weakly, sensing his dilemma._

" _The subconscious mind is still a working part of one's personality. In fact, many of our motivations are driven by urges and triggers we aren't consciously aware of."_

 _Her eyes darted off to the side as she pondered how best to get through to this linear thinker._

" _You mentioned earlier you have trust issues. Do you know why?"_

 _The blonde paused and considered the question. He knew his immediate response._

" _Because the person I trusted most lied to me about my identity, or what she thought was my identity," he amended._

 _He caught a glimmer in her eye and knew she wasn't about to let it go at that._

" _When you were a John Doe?"_

" _Jake," he sputtered defensively. "I went by Jake."_

 _Her mouth formed an upside down u shape._

" _Why Jake," she probed further, knowing instinctively she had struck a nerve._

 _Because that was the name he had woken up with in his head; that name and one other. Elizabeth. She had been the voice from the dream he couldn't remember, the first face he saw. Before he opened his eyes, a connection had already been established. The connection she shared with his brother._

" _You're saying those memories affect me whether I remember them or not," he choked out, past the lump forming in his throat._

 _Dr. Mitchell nodded, her expression sullen. She appeared to take no pleasure is dashing his hopes or poking holes in his disillusions._

" _My advice would be to spend less time trying to erase your brother, and more time getting acquainted with Andrew Cain," she cautioned gently. "I'd be happy to help you with that."_

 _He collapsed into the chair across the room from her and they spent the remainder of the hour discussing everything he knew about Andrew Cain, which wasn't much. Outside of his orphan upbringing and confidential naval file, he knew nothing about the man he had been before. When that well ran dry, they retraced his first memories as Jake Doe. He described waking up in the hospital with bandages on his face and no recollection of who he was or how he had come to be there. He told her how Elizabeth had been there when he woke up and his first impression of the nurse who had gone above and beyond for him so many times._

" _And was that before or after she believed you were Jason?"_

 _Drew leaned back in the chair, thinking._

" _Both," he finally replied. "Part of it was her doing her job, but she came to see me on breaks, brought me treats. She even let me move into her house."_

 _And all of that had happened before Hayden Barnes or the nurses ball._

" _So she did have a genuine interest in you before she believed you were your brother?"_

 _He shrugged in an agitated manner._

" _I don't know. Maybe."_

 _Her pen flew over her notepad as she made another note._

" _And what about your brother's widow? Did you have any inexplicable pull toward her?"_

 _The blonde grunted and readjusted himself in the seat._

 _If he had, he didn't recall. But that was good wasn't it? That proved his love for her had nothing to do with Jason's memories. They had built their relationship from strangers to lovers, all on their own._

" _She was just a nice, pretty, woman I ran into in the hall. Nothing familiar," he explained, leaning forward with a smile._

' _You were also already attached to Elizabeth by the time you met,' he reminded himself._

 _The edges of his mouth began to sink._

" _But I did have memories of her," he said as the images flashed through his mind. "I didn't know that's what they were and it didn't change how I felt. I was committed to my relationship. But I can't say it didn't confuse me or get me thinking about her and what it could mean."_

 _Would he have chosen Elizabeth were it not for that memory? Would he have trusted her so implicitly if Jason never had?_

" _So you were loyal, despite this growing curiosity where his widow was involved," she rephrased, and propped an arm on the rest of the chair._

' _Well, aren't you just full of surprises,' she thought as he confirmed with a monosyllabic "yeah."_

 _Her russet orbs shifted toward the clock with a sigh._

" _I'm sorry to say, our time is up." She laid the pen down against the pad again. "But i do have some homework for you for our next meeting."_

 _Amusement lit up her face as she took note of his less than enthusiastic expression._

" _Just keep thinking about your time as Jake Doe; what you thought, what you felt, your first impressions and interactions with the people you met. We can delve a little deeper in our next session."_

 _He rose from his seat and thanked her for her time. She stood too and they shook hands again. Her eyes trailed his path through the door. The cogs of her mind continued to shift like the sides of a rubix cube as she watched him. Had she not been briefed before their meeting she might have been charmed by the former SEAL. She might have even felt sorry for him. Fortunately, she knew his integrity was either a convincing act or a byproduct of his brother's memories. A traitor's only loyalty was to himself._

* * *

 _Drew walked out of the office in somewhat of a daze. Not only had he not been freed of his brother's memories, as he'd hoped to be; but he now had to consider the possibility that even his time as Jake Doe wasn't his own. When originally faced with that accusation, he was helpless to deny the implication. Especially, when the evidence came from his own mouth. But with distance came either clarity or denial, and with each step his frustration grew._

 _Who was this woman, that without knowing him or his twin, she could determine the depth of his character?! Just because he had Jason's memories didn't mean he was him. In fact, he'd made many choices in the last three years the former mob enforcer wouldn't even consider._

' _What about the name you chose' a voice challenged as he slammed the car door shut and jabbed the engine button._

" _It's just a name," he mumbled to himself. Just like Jason was just a name. Neither one defined him. Only the decisions he made._

' _So it's purely coincidence that you immediately trusted the same woman your brother shares a friendship and romantic history with?'_

 _He jerked the wheel and pulled out onto the road._

 _Of course, it was! Elizabeth was his nurse. She helped save his life and guided him through his recovery. Why wouldn't he trust her?_

' _Maybe because she lies as naturally as she breathes?'_

 _True, but Jake Doe didn't know that. He had no concept of deceit or reason to believe she wasn't trustworthy. Embarrassing as it was to admit, he'd been completely blinded. He couldn't see past her beauty and charm, nor could he imagine her to be anything less than genuine in her kindness. Whatever he felt for her, wasn't because of Jason or his memories. It was inspired by who she pretended to be._

 _Maybe that was where his love for Sam came from too? In that one crucial moment, she had gone from a good friend he'd unfairly misjudged, to the person he trusted most in the world. She had told him the truth when others had kept it from him, and had given time and the opportunity to come to her of his own will rather than obligation._ _Maybe he would have loved her from the beginning had he not been so enamored by Elizabeth's farce._

' _Or maybe everyone else is right, and you never would have loved her were it not for the belief you already belonged to each other?'_

 _Drew took another sharp turn and shook his head. He tried to focus on his first memory of her. It was after his bandages were off and he'd been cleared for physical therapy. He and Elizabeth were standing in the hallway when Danny had come running up to him and latched onto his leg. She called after him and rounded the corner, ready to pry her son from this stranger. That was when he'd turned and their eyes had locked for the first time. Looking in those eyes now took his breath away, but it hadn't back then. She was beautiful, and seemed embarrassed by the whole ordeal, but those were the only observations he could remember making aside from her name._

 _Then Elizabeth had stepped in and suggested they return to his room. If he glanced back on the way, he couldn't remember. Surely, he must've though. What man wouldn't want another glimpse of her?_

 _But even if he hadn't, even if they were right, and he had only opened his heart to her because of someone else's memories, that didn't change the fact that she was now the woman he loved more than any other and the mother of his child. There were mysteries in his past he needed to sort out, but what was most important was who he decided to be going forward. He wanted to be a good man; a law abiding citizen who contributed to society and gave back to the community. And he wanted to be a family man; a loving father and doting husband._

' _What about your brother,' the voice whispered, 'how does he fit into this future you're trying to build?'_

 _That was where the image always blurred. He could see himself running Aurora with Sam, sharing smiles across the office, and going home to their children at night. What he couldn't picture was holidays spent with the kids separated, or sharing a bowl of eggnog with the town criminal. The idea of sharing his family with Jason, of allowing him to be part of it, was beyond his imagining. But he couldn't pretend he didn't exist, and no matter what he thought of his twin's choices, he didn't wish him harm._

 _With that in mind, he pulled out his phone and searched for a number._

 _Sam curled up in the chair at Jason's bedside, her brown eyes fixed on his face as he rested. At least, she hoped that's what he was doing. Knowing Jason though, he was probably straining himself in ways and couldn't see, trying to force his recovery. She'd asked him not to, but if past experience was any indicator of success, it had done little good._

 _She lifted her head to take note of her cell vibrating against table. Her lips tugged upward but never reached full tilt as she slid the bar across the screen and put the phone to her ear._

" _Hey," she answered, her tone already apologetic. "I'm sorry I haven't called yet or come over, I just didn't want to leave him alone."_

 _Her fingers found their way up into her kinky curls as she propped her elbow on her knee._

" _Yeah, he's, well, he's not awake yet, but he's stable. They say he's responding well." She glanced over at the unconscious blonde, "he even squeezed my hand earlier."_

 _She half-listened as the voice on the end of the line continued._

" _It's not that I don't want to." She pressed a hand to her chest and rubbed, hoping to ease the pressure she felt there. "I'm just not ready yet."_

 _There was another beat of silence on her end as she combed her hair all to one side while the other person spoke._

 _She nodded dutifully, forgetting she couldn't be seen._

" _He's supposed to be having some tests done today," she explained, trying her best to sound optimistic rather than deflated. "Yes, of course, I'll keep you posted," she promised before saying goodbye and ending the call._

 _The brunette laid the device back down on the tabletop with a sigh._

 _She knew she couldn't sit there forever. There were conversations that needed to be had, notices that needed to be given, and an investigation to continue._

 _Her thoughts flashed back to leaning over Jerry with a gun to his head. After they'd gotten Jason back to the jet, there was still the question of what to do with his captor. As much as she wanted to kill him, for all he had done and all he would likely do in the future, she didn't have it in her to be the one to take his life. Jason or Drew could have, and she'd have thought no less of them for doing so. She just couldn't do it herself. So instead she had Drew call Anna, and have alert the WSB of his escape. Jerry was their problem now, but his taunts were still with her._

 _That was the second time someone had asked her why Drew wasn't taking a more active role in learning about his past, and both times she had no answer. More importantly, she had refused to ask that question herself._

 _Her gaze darted to the open door and personnel shuffling back and forth through the hall. Griffin had yet to return for those tests, and aside from the occasional check in, they had the room to themselves._

" _How did we get here, Jason?"_

 _She had been asking herself that one for months, but somehow it felt different saying it to him and knowing he could hear her._

" _Last time we were here we were over in the pediatric wing with Danny. You were holding him, and he had his head nuzzled in the crook of your shoulder." Her eyes welled with more tears, and she wondered how she had any left. "You asked me if we could be a family and it took everything I had not to throw myself in your arms and scream yes. We got maybe five minutes, the three of us, before you had to go..."_

 _Tears of pain and regret trickled down her cheeks and splashed on the bed beside him._

" _God! If I'd known we were going to lose you like that, I never, never would have given you that stupid ultimatum. I would have stayed and let you be hurt or angry until we worked it out." Her lovely features wrinkled in disgust. "I would have made the most of that time."_

 _Sam reached for his hand and wrapped both of hers around it._

" _I can't change what's happened." Her voice quivered as she spoke. "And I don't know what the future looks like for any of us, but I don't want to waste any more time pushing you away or keeping you at arm's length."_

 _She bent down and kissed his exposed thumb._

" _I just want you to be here," she whispered brokenly, unaware of the man standing outside the doorway._

 _His eyes shifted to the bag of takeout in his hand and then back to the woman in the chair. After the day he'd had, he'd come seeking the quiet calm of her company and assurance. He'd hoped they could lean on one another, as they always had. Or rather as they had the last couple of years. But it was clear, watching her sob over his brother's unconscious body, she lacked the strength to be his anchor, and that he was not the one she was longing for. He could walk through that door, make sure her needs were met and do his best to make her smile, and she would appreciate it. She might even love him for it. But she would still be wishing Jason was there._

 _He turned and headed for the closest exit. On his way out the door he passed the nurse's desk where he requested an update and the delivery of Sam's lunch to the room._


	28. Chapter 26

_**A/N: Hiya guys! So sorry for the delay. Math is hard and coming down from my Jasam bubble to write some of these scenes was even harder. But I'm here now and so is the new chapter.**_

 _ **I was so excited I almost forgot my chapterly ounce of gratitude. Thank you so much for every view, follow, fave, and review! Each one is greatly appreciated!**_

 _ **Hope you enjoy!**_

* * *

 _Once the kids were off to school, Elizabeth called in and cancelled her shift at the hospital. Her nerves were still raw from the night before and she couldn't face the possibility of running into Sam or Franco. Besides, it wasn't really her shift. They were extra hours she had picked up in preparation for the wedding. There might not even be a wedding anymore._

 _Several hours of that day were spent in bed, tossing back and forth between her conscience and her will. Finally, around noon she gave up and reluctantly rose from the mattress. She inched her feet into warm, snug slippers and trudged her way to the kitchen. Unwilling to cook, she removed the leftovers Cam had stowed in the fridge earlier that morning. She pushed the food back and forth in the bowl, but only had a few bites before sitting it aside._

' _What do I do now,' she thought, wrapping her rope around herself and curling up on the couch._

 _There were no chores to be done, no errands to run, places to be. She was task-less and restless, the very formula for trouble-making. That was her specialty, after all; taking a bad situation and making it worse. Though she couldn't imagine how it could be. Her fiancé was a very bad man and Jason...well he could be dying for all she knew!_

 _The thought made her harrumph with righteous indignation._

 _Who was Sam McCall to keep her from seeing her old friend in his time of need? He wouldn't stand for it, if he knew. That she was sure of. In fact, if past transgressions were any indication, he might walk away from her altogether._

 _Her azure orbs glinted with amusement and perhaps a hint of conniving._

 _That would be something- for Jason to come back from the dead, only to reject her. It would be exactly what she deserved after all she'd said and done. Of course, Sam would do her best to poison him against her. No doubt, she'd make the entire argument Elizabeth's fault._

 _Jason would see through that, wouldn't he? He had a gift for fleshing out the truth. Surely, he could recognize her claims as just another con._

' _What if he couldn't? Or worse, what if he could, but didn't care?'_

 _He hadn't been the same since his return. Before he always made time for her, always cared about her, and allowed no one to come between them. At least not fully. Now he hardly spoke to her unless it was about their son, and every free minute he had was dedicated to Sam and her children. Scout wasn't even his and Danny...She tried to like the boy and accept him, but there was simply too much of his mother to excuse. He was tainted by parentage. Jake was his first, and by all rights, should have been his favorite child._

 _Jake, she suddenly realized, was the answer to her dilemma. She couldn't get in to see Jason by herself, but if she brought Jake, a minor, to visit his father; who could possibly refuse them? Even Sam wasn't foolish enough to try and keep his children from him. If she made herself part of the package, the witch would have no choice. She'd have to relent._

' _Would that be selfish?'_

 _The question flickered in and out of her head at lightning speed, before it could make any impact._

 _Jason was Jake's father, and since the boy was hesitant to accept him, it was her responsibility to encourage him. All children loved their parents. It only made sense that he would feel something for the man who helped create him once he heard what happened to him. He would be moved to action. She was sure of it._

 _She sighed contentedly, happy to have the matter put to rest, and rose from the couch. A warm bath was just what she needed to melt the tension, and so she filled the tub with water, cloaked the room with floral scented candles to enhance the mood, and put on some soft jazzy music- the kind that had no words and allowed her mind to wander. Carefully, she stepped in and laid back with a small moan of delight._

 _Liz wasn't exactly excited for her_

 _meeting with Franco, but she was morbidly curious. It was clear that his intentions upon returning to Port Charles had been less than pure, and while the knowledge of what he'd done made her stomach churn, it also filled her with a strange sense of satisfaction that she couldn't quite make sense of._

' _It must be the shock,' she reasoned, and decided to focus instead on formulating a plan. A meeting of this nature required a certain amount of finesse. Every detail must be planned, lest she give in to impulse or desire._

 _She climbed out of the tub; her skin was soft from the soak, but not wrinkly and radiated with an ethereal glow she knew her fiancé...former fiancé? Franco, would appreciate. Her hair, however, was limp and responded poorly to her attempts at curling it. After a considerable amount of time battling with it, she decided to pin one side of her hair back and use the other to frame her face. Minimal makeup was administered and finally she was ready to select the perfect ensemble._

 _After close examination of her closet she decided on a coral sweater and her best jeans; her choice was comfy, stylish, and the most importantly gave off the impression of effortlessness despite the work she had put into her appearance. While she put the finishing touches on, she contemplated how best to appeal to her middle child's sense of compassion for a man he barely knew._

 _Everything could have been so different, had he been willing to put down his gun and walk away from the business. Had he just chosen her, he and their son wouldn't have to be strangers and he wouldn't have spent the last five years of his life wherever he had been. Her earrings had just been strategically placed when she heard the front door open and three sets of footsteps. Aidan- the light foot, headed straight to the kitchen. Cameron must have paused in the living room because only one set of steps could be heard coming toward her._

" _Jakey, sweetie, can you come in here a moment," she shouted toward the door and gave herself a once over in the mirror._

 _The boy winced but did as he was asked. Dutifully, he poked his head in, hoping to avoid what he sensed was a heavy conversation._

" _Yeah mom?"_

" _Come in and sit down, please. I need to talk to you about something," insisted and fluffed her hair with a sigh._

 _She'd have much preferred it down._

 _Jake entered cautiously and sat down on her bed, as requested._

 _Elizabeth came over and sat down next to him, her eyes shined with anticipation._

" _It's about your dad."_

 _His childlike features scrunched in confusion. 'Which one,' he thought to himself, but didn't say._

 _Unaware of his quandary, she continued. "Something happened while he was out of town. He got hurt."_

 _Okay, so that could be either one. Not much help there._

 _She watched and waited, hoping to see concern. When she didn't, she persisted._

" _I know you're still getting to know one another," so it was Jason. Finally, she'd said something to help clarify the situation! "But it's pretty bad, honey. He's in the hospital."_

 _Jake chewed on this a moment. He didn't particularly know or like Jason, but he didn't dislike him either. And to his credit, the man seemed to be trying to bond with him, before his business had taken him out of town. He didn't know exactly what his "real" father did, but he noticed that most spoke of him in hushed whispers, like he was a secret the boy shouldn't know._

" _Will he be okay?"_

 _He wasn't terribly invested in the answer but it was obvious his mother was and that his general interest pleased her._

" _I hope so," she said with a smile, "but I think what might help him feel better is a visit from his son."_

 _The words weren't what he would consider pointed. However, there was no mistaking their implication. This was not so much a request as it was an expectation._

 _He hung his head, torn between not wanting to disappoint her and not wanting to go._

" _I don't know," he mumbled, praying she would take the hint and drop the idea. "Do I have to?"_

 _He looked up at her with big pleading eyes- her eyes._

" _No Jake," a masculine voice declared from the doorway. They both glanced over to see Cam leaning against the frame. He looked so much like Zander in that moment, with his dark eyes and brooding stance. "Mom's not going to make you go if you don't want to. That would be selfish."_

 _Now that was unmistakably pointed, Jake thought, shifting his gaze from one to the other._

 _His mother continued to smile, but it was tighter now. More strained._

" _Sweetie, why don't you go start on your homework so I can talk with your brother a minute." He nodded, grateful for his chance to escape. "Oh and Jake," she said as he hopped off the bed. "Just...think about what I said, okay. I know it would mean a lot to your dad." He nodded again and shared a look with his brother before passing by._

 _Cameron stepped inside and closed the door, as they often did before they argued. He looked her up and down and had to fight back a sneer._

" _I take it you're going out tonight," he grumbled, already knowing the answer._

" _Yes, and I need you to watch the boys while I'm gone."_

 _The teenager shook his head, but said nothing._

" _And when I get back we'll discuss what happened with your brother and why it was inappropriate," she sent him a mother's glare of disapproval. That look used to break his heart and fill him with shame. Lately, all it did was piss him off, and this time was no exception._

" _Oh, so I'm old enough to be responsible for them while you're patching up your love life, but not old enough to step in for them when you're being unfair," he spat venomously. "You know he's having a hard time accepting this Jason guy as his dad. You had no right to push him like that."_

 _Something in her expression darkened. It wasn't the look a mother would give her son. Though truth be told, he wasn't just her son- not when she was alone. He was her partner; the one who helped with the boys and held her when she crumbled. He'd just started to get a taste of genuine childhood when she kicked Franco out and it was on him to step up until they either worked out their problems or a replacement could be found. That was the unspoken agreement between mother and eldest child._

" _Jake is my son, and not that I owe you this explanation since I'm also your mother and have dedicated my life to you and your brothers' wellbeing, but I pushed Jake because he needed to be."_

 _When he was younger, that ploy had worked. She would throw in a line about how much she loved them or how much she sacrificed and he'd instantly feel two inches tall and back down. But he was nearly a man now and had watched her operate long enough to understand how she worked- good and bad._

" _No," he fired back, unrepentant. "You did it because Jason's wife had kicked off his case and you needed a way to get past her."_

 _The shock on her face gave him a twisted satisfaction. That was the benefit of her underestimating him._

 _Elizabeth went cold. Instantly, she made that subtle transition from over righteous mother to wounded woman, probably not even aware of the ways she tried to pluck at his nerves for a specific response._

" _Jason's condition is serious Cameron. He might recover. He might not. And if he doesn't and Jake doesn't get that closure..."_

 _Everything about her was soft now; her voice, her eyes, the way she was looking at him. That was the paradox of Elizabeth Imogene Webber. She was two different people trapped inside one body. One he adored, and one he resented, but he loved them both because they were both his mom._

" _I'm sorry." He came closer and wrapped her up in his arms. "I know you love us and you're worried about your friend. I'm just worried about Jake."_

 _She smiled and nodded. "I know, me too."_

 _He handed her a tissue from a nearby Kleenex box so she could dab her eyes. Then he escorted her to the living room closet and held out her coat. She touched his cheek gently and smiled before giving a few guidelines for the evening and disappearing down the street. Cameron waited until she was gone and pulled out his phone. The internet immediately opened to google where he typed the words Jason Morgan and pressed search. Several mob related articles and arrests popped up, including a murder trial naming his mother as a witness. But what really caught his attention were the titles that bore Franco's picture as well._

* * *

 _Sam lingered by Jason's side the remainder of the day. She waited patiently on the sidelines while Griffin ran his tests. The results were encouraging, but the young doctor made it a point to stress the fact he could make no guarantees, only educated guesses. Still, he was hopeful he would awake soon and there would be no lasting effects. He offered a cheerful smile and a cautious touch of the arm in support before excusing himself to his other patients._

 _She was alone only seconds before there was a knock at the door frame. The nurse was new, pretty. She had bright eyes and shining dark hair, and seemed genuinely sorry to be interrupting what appeared to be a private moment between patient and family._

" _Mrs. Morgan, I apologize for the intrusion, but a gentleman left this at the desk." She held up the large brown paper bag, "he asked that we make sure you get it."_

 _Sam nodded, and relieved her of the parcel. "Thank you," she studied the badge clipped to her scrubs, "Francesca." Briefly she paused before asking "Did he say anything else before he left?"_

 _The young woman shook her head. "He asked how his brother was faring, but there was no message to be passed along."_

 _The brunette nodded again, numbly._

 _Francesca sensed her disappointment, and fumbled for some small consolation she could offer._

" _Maybe he left something for you inside the bag," she offered, kindly._

 _Sam couldn't help but reward her with a smile. "Maybe," she replied in the lightest tone she could muster, though she was sure there wouldn't be. She waited until she was alone to peel it open. The scent of Noodle Buddha filled her nostrils and her mouth watered, but her stomach did not respond. Her fingers closed around the plastic covered fortune cookie on top of the pile._

 _Her gaze lifted to examine Jason's face._

" _What do you think," she asked, as though she were expecting an answer. When he didn't reply she continued. "Should we test our luck?"_

 _It was easy to think in terms of "we" and "our" when it was just the two of them, separate from the rest of the world._

 _A morbid sense of curiosity welled up as she stripped the cookie of its cellophane._

' _C'mon Confucius,' she pleaded silently, 'tell me what to do. How do I make this right?'_

 _She snapped the wafer in half and read the paper slip to herself. Her eyes went back to his face, then she shook her head._

" _It's nothing," she insisted as she tucked the fortune into her jean pocket. "Just your usual nonsense."_

' _ **That's not what I read,'**_ _the voice chastened, but she ignored it._

" _I need to go home," she sighed and rested her head on the back of the chair with her eyes closed. "I need to pick up the kids. I haven't seen them in days. I need to unpack and check in at Aurora."_

' _Talk with Drew,' she added mentally._

 _Her lids fluttered up and she turned her head back toward her husband._

" _But I don't want to do any of that." She paused, listened to her words echo back, and winced. "It's not that I don't want to see Scout and Danny, I do. I want to wrap my arms around them and smother them in kisses so bad I can't stand it..."_

' _Then why don't you?' She heard his voice in her head with the same clarity as if he'd spoken it next to her._

" _Because I'm afraid to face our son," she confessed with shame and just a hint of humor. "I don't want to tell him too much, but I promised to be honest with him and he knows when I'm not. If I go home and I try to act like everything's fine, he's going to know I'm lying."_

 _The corners of her mouth tipped upward in a rueful manner._

" _Got any advice for me?"_

 _Again, his guidance sliced through her chaotic thoughts._

" _Sam, you don't need me to tell you how to handle this. You're an amazing mom. Just talk with him. You'll know what to say."_

 _Her eyes narrowed at the advice she imagined, but their centers went warm and gooey._

" _Why do you have so much faith in me," she mumbled, more to herself than to the imaginary voice in her head, and she didn't have to wait for a response to know the answer. Because he was Jason. The confirmation resounded with such force had she been standing it could have knocked her down. Jason was alive. He was himself. And he was home._

 _She tossed the cookie in the nearby trash can and pried open a container, determined to keep her strength up. She snapped the chopsticks and dipped them inside._

" _It's your favorite," she said, waving the ginger chicken below his nose. When he made no attempt to take it for himself she raised it to her lips and nibbled._

 _That was how Monica found her daughter in law; teasing her son with a piece of chicken and talking to him as though he were awake and able to reply. Not that she was judging. In fact, she had many memories of doing the exact same thing, and would probably do so at present were she and Jason left alone._

" _Monica," she sputtered, quickly dropping the chicken and reached for a napkin to wipe her mouth._

 _The elder woman smiled softly as she entered the room._

" _I hope it's okay that I came. Scout's taking a nap and Drew offered to help with Danny," she explained in attempt to put Sam's concerns at ease._

 _The brunette shrunk inwardly. Whether intended or accidental, there was an unspoken slight in those words, and one she couldn't deny._

" _Of course!" She rushed to assure her. "You're his mother. You have every right to be here." Her hand reaches out to clasp her companion's. "I want you here," she promised. "And I know Jason would too."_

 _Monica let out a disbelieving chuckle and a shake of the head._

" _That's very sweet of you, but we both know I'm not the one would ask for."_

 _Her misty blue eyes travelled from Sam's earnest expression to her son's resting face._

" _I'm little more than a spectator in his life. It's been that way since before you came along and I think it always will be." She hesitated before turning her attention back to the fully conscious party in the room. "I thought I'd made my peace with that. I'd accepted the situation for what it was, and was happy for whatever I could get. I know it's not his fault he can't love me the way he once did...but I can't help but wish..."_

 _She trailed off, not allowing herself to speak the words._

" _Well, anyway, I'm glad he has you and that you've been so vigilant in keeping the kids a part of the family. It means more than I can say."_

 _Sam smiled back sadly. It was true that Jason's first instinct was to think of Sonny and Carly before Monica or any of the Quartermaines, but he wasn't deliberately neglectful and he didn't enjoy causing them pain. She knew he regretted pushing them away for so long and had been determined to try harder before he'd been taken from them. For a split second she allowed herself to wonder what their lives might have been had he not gone to the pier that night. The image was still blurry and half-formed when she pushed the notion aside._

 _How many times had Jason told her there was no point to the what if's? They would only drive her crazy._

" _That's how we both wanted it. He may not always show it the way you wish he would," there was a wistful look in her eye as she said this, "but he does love you."_

 _His mother nodded and mumbled "I know," her lips curled faintly._

 _The brunette pulled the corner of her lip between her teeth and averted her eyes._

" _So...Drew's at the house with the kids?"_

 _Monica confirmed wordlessly._

 _So he had dropped off Noodle Buddha at the nurse's desk for her, then gone to the Quartermaines to relieve Monica of her grandmotherly duties, and was likely answering the questions she had been dreading as they sat. That was so...him; always anticipating the needs of others, always trying to lighten her burdens._

" _Did he tell you what happened, between us, I mean?"_

 _The older woman nodded again, this time her expression more sullen._

" _He mentioned that he would be moving into the new house...and that you would be remaining at the penthouse for the time being. Would it be terribly intrusive if I asked what this means for my sons and my grandchildren," she inquired cautiously._

 _Sam's dark eyes went soft and reflective as she pondered her response._

" _You know, the first time I thought Jason came back...he wasn't the person I knew. Everything about him was different and he didn't remember me or us. That was the worst part. He was here, but it didn't feel like he was here." She clutched her hand to her chest for emphasis. "This time it's different. He's exactly as I remember him, and he knows me, and loves me, and he hasn't come out and said that he wants me, but I know he does."_

" _Is that what you want," her mother in law asked gently._

 _The brunette let out a little laugh._

" _I told myself I just wanted him to remember, that even if we couldn't get back what we lost, it would be enough if he just remembered what we had. But I wanted him to want me. I wanted Jason, and if I had to start all over and rebuild, so be it!"_

" _So you did," Monica prodded further. "You got to know one another, and fell in love, and built something really special between you. You just didn't build it with Jason."_

" _I didn't know that," she shot back in frustration. "And neither did Drew. We both thought he was Jason, and honestly I can't even remember why I believed it."_

 _Was it Spinelli's program or the DNA test? Was it Carly's conviction or Elizabeth's desperation? What had managed to sway her into such a falsehood?_

" _I stood with Drew in the very spot Jason and I made our vows and then I went home and made a sign for Patrick to ask me to be his wife. If we had met any other way there wouldn't even be a question of who I'd choose."_

 _Every man she had been with in that time was only there because Jason wasn't. But she had held him in her heart, carried him with her always. And would have until the day she died or he came home._

' _I let go too soon,' she lamented._

' _ **Did you really, though?'**_ _The familiar voice challenged._

" _If that's true, then do you seem so uncertain," Her mother in law said, giving her the nudge she needed._

 _Sam fumbled, unable to reply. Once she could answer that question, she would know what to do. She was sure of it. In the meantime, there were plenty of priorities to place her focus on._

" _I'm going to get of here and give you two a chance to talk." She announced and gathered up her things. Monica protested, saying she didn't have to go on her account, but her daughter in law was adamant._

" _You need some mother/son time, and frankly so do I. Well, kid time. I want to see my babies," she insisted. "I miss them."_

 _Monica agreed she should go then. They hugged out a farewell and Sam walked out the door. Though, she glanced back once to observe the matronly Quartermaine reach for her son's hand with a tender expression and smile._

* * *

 _Sam left the hospital in good spirits, but any jubilation she felt fell to a screeching halt when she saw Drew's car parked out front. There was no surprise in his presence. Monica had told her he would be there. But the prospect of actually seeing him, and not knowing how to act around him, sucked the wind right from her lungs._

' _You can do this.'_

 _She turned the engine off and opened her own car door. Then slammed it shut and walked toward the house._

' _You knew this was going to happen eventually.'_

 _She did, she just hadn't realized it would be so soon. Or so public. Maybe that was for the better? They were both determined to be their best selves for the children. There would be no quarreling or sulking with them around to witness it. Yes, perhaps it was better to have such a significant audience to their first encounter._

 _The brunette didn't bother with knocks or doorbells. She let herself in. Drew and Danny were wrestling in the parlor area. The man stilled when he saw her, while the young boy took a run and leap toward his mother's arms._

" _Mommy!" He cried as he launched himself at her and she instinctively moved in time to catch him and clutch him close._

" _Danny!" She responded in kind. "Mommy missed you so much!"_

 _Carefully, she sat him down on his feet. Her eyes briefly lifted above his head to meet Drew's gaze. He glanced sideways to prevent it._

" _I would have come sooner-"_

" _But you were taking care of," he peered back at his uncle, and lowered his voice before whispering "Daddy."_

 _Her gaze snapped back to Drew's and this time their eyes met, both taking note of Danny's hesitance. He stepped toward the child and put his hand on his shoulder._

" _Hey, you don't have to do that, okay?"_

 _The five year old looked up at him with big sparkling eyes filled with love and admiration- though not quite the same way he had looked at him before._

" _You and me, we've got our own thing, right? Your dad is your dad, and I'm," he swallowed the lump gathered in his throat, "I'm your uncle. And I don't want you to be sad about that because I'm not. I feel so lucky and happy that I still get to be part of your family and love you as much as I always have."_

 _Sam could tell Drew was choking up and took it upon herself to step in._

" _You and Drew were friends before, and uncles are just like friends too."_

 _Danny contemplated this a moment, then shook his head._

" _No, uncles are cooler than friends." He brightened and held up his fingers. "And now I have three."_

 _Drew forced a smile and held out his hand for a high five, which Danny smacked with enthusiasm._

" _That's right, bud."_

 _An awkward silence settled over the room. Danny might not have been able to see behind the deception, but she knew what that small act of kindness had cost him._

" _Why don't I go check on Scout," he said gruffly and headed for the door._

 _Before she could register the thought, her feet had already sprung into action behind him._

" _Hey." He turned in her direction, but did not meet her gaze. Instead he looked past her, wordless. "That was a really great thing you did," she mumbled suddenly feeling self-conscious._

 _His expression remained blank and unfocused._

" _It had to be done, right?"_

 _She nodded and stepped back, her thoughts in a strange kind of daze._

' _Why did I do that,' she wondered. 'Why did I go after him when I knew it was a bad idea?'_

 _She hadn't planned to follow him. It had just...happened somehow. Oh well, whatever she had meant to do, it couldn't be helped now._

" _Hey Danny," she took a deep breath to calm her nerves before diving in, "Can I talk to you for a second? It's important."_

' _You'll know what to say.'_

 _Jason's words echoed again, bouncing off the walls of her mind and landing where they would resonate the strongest. He hadn't actually been awake to say them, but she felt with startling certainty that it's what he would have said were he able._

 _Usually this kind of opening would be met with curiosity, but Danny appeared unphased by the seriousness of her tone._

" _Is it about Daddy," he asked innocently and twisted in place. "Uncle already told me about that."_

" _Oh." Her brow furrowed, intrigued. "What did he tell you exactly?"_

 _His shoulders rose to meet his golden curls._

" _Just how Daddy got sick on the way home and the doctors are making him better."_

 _The brunette bristled, and to be entirely honest, she wasn't sure why. What Drew had done was thoughtful. He'd recognized her unease and taken it upon himself to remove the burden from her shoulders. His explanation was honest, succinct, and had the desired reaction she had hoped for. She should be relieved and grateful...shouldn't she?_

" _That's..."_

 _The boy was unbothered and carefree. It wouldn't be fair to take that from him just so she could assert some kind of control or dominance over the situation. What was the harm in allowing Drew to play the hero this time?_

" _That's right baby." She smiled into his sweet face and brushed his hair from his eyes. "But he's getting the best care and he'll be home as soon as he can."_

 _Danny accepted this without dispute._

" _Can we go see him?"_

 _The corners of her mouth twitched but never fell._

" _Not tonight. Visiting hours are almost over and Daddy needs his rest."_

" _Tomorrow?" He asked, without missing a beat._

 _She mussed her hair in an agitated manner. "Yeah, maybe."_

 _Drew re-entered the room and Scout nearly leapt from his arms when she saw her mother._

" _I think she wants you," he chuckled while she squealed "ma-ma-ma-ma" over him._

 _Sam happily took the little girl in her arms and planted kisses on her face. Danny laughed and Drew stood close by admiring mother and daughter._

 _He hadn't deliberately chosen her to be the mother of his child. The position was inherited through Jason's hand me down memories and history. But as he stood there watching them together, he felt almost certain she's the one he would have chosen. Her love for her children was evident, but it was more than that. She didn't take their existence for granted. Nor did she underestimate the weight of her influence in their lives. Every breath was a gift and each choice hinged on their wellbeing._

 _He couldn't imagine a more worthy or desirable woman for the job._

" _Did you miss your Mommy," she cooed softly. "Mommy sure missed you."_

 _Her chocolate orbs flicked back toward Drew, who was doing his best to swallow his pain._

" _I'll bet you missed Daddy too, huh," she added, watching, waiting for a reaction. There was no mistaking his relief. His entire body relaxed with those seven words. He needed to hear them, to be reminded of what couldn't be taken away._

" _You two ready to go home," he asked, a little more cheerful._

 _The five year old bounced on his heels in excitement, the way his dad had done the first time his paternity had been confirmed. His uncle told him to go get his things and he took off running, leaving them alone._

 _Sam glanced over once she was certain they were out of range._

" _How exactly is this going to work?"_

 _Drew jammed his hands in his pockets. "I'll follow you guys to the house, help tuck them in, and then I'll go...if you're okay with that?"_

" _Did you tell him about us," her voice came out in a sharp whisper, almost accusatory._

" _No. I thought we should do that together."_

' _But you didn't think I should tell Danny about Jason,' she couldn't help thinking. It wasn't a privilege she had wanted or longed for, but now that it was no longer her responsibility, she felt robbed somehow._

 _Together they loaded the children and their bags into Sam's vehicle and Drew tailed them back to the penthouse. He carried Scout inside and began her nightly routine of dinner, bath, and jammies while she unpacked everything and set the laundry aside. They ate as a family, watched a Netflix documentary on cute baby animals, and then tucked Emily and Danny in for the night._

 _Drew closed the bedroom door with the stealth his former profession as a seal would imply and turned to the woman beside him. His chest tightened._

" _Are we sure we're doing the right thing?"_

 _Sam froze and strained to remember why they had chosen to separate in the first place._

" _I can't give you what you want right now." The wobble in her voice revealed her lack of conviction._

 _He reached out and cupped the back of her head in his hands._

" _All I want now is to stay with you and the kids. I don't need anything else."_

 _Her gaze darted to the side, to the closed door mere inches away._

 _All he wanted was her. Could she give him that? She wanted to. The words were welling up inside her, fighting their way to the tip of her tongue. She opened her mouth, desperate to release them, but something unexpected came out instead._

" _I don't think I can."_

' _What?!'_

" _What do you mean you can't?"_

 _His eyebrows inched closer together and he stared at her intently, waiting for an explanation. Not that she had one._

" _I-I don't know. I want to say yes-"_

" _Then say it," he snapped, and then softened his tone. "Let me come home."_

' _What are you doing?' Her brain shouted._

' _ **What I have to!'**_

 _I? It was an "I" now? When did that happen, and what did it mean? She'd thought once before that the voice had taken over her body somehow- like an alternate personality or something. Was this voice growing stronger than her? Would it push her out altogether?_

" _No." The rejection came out a whisper. "I'm sorry, I can't."_

 _She watched as the soft blue waves of his eyes rose to a storm of anguish. He opened his mouth to speak then paused, but she heard what he wasn't saying anyway._

" _We're a family Sam. We should be together. Why can't we work through this together?"_

 _Why couldn't they? That had been her plan in the beginning._

" _I don't know, but we can't." His hands fell loose at his sides and the lines of his face hardened. He stepped toward the stairs. She reached out to stop him. Something inside her jerked- hard._

' _What the hell was that?'_

" _Drew, I love you...I see you hurting and all I want is to make it go away. That's why I lied to you. It's why I held back and put all my focus on you. I couldn't eat or sleep or breathe, and you kept telling me to take care of myself but I couldn't. I can't take care of you and me at the same time."_

 _It was the closest to making sense she could get._

 _He twisted to meet her gaze._

" _You're saying it was me? I did that to you."_

 _She shook her head in reply._

" _No, I did. And now I have to undo it..." she nibbled on her lower lip. "But I cant with you here."_

 _Drew flinched slightly, defeat in his eyes. As much as he wanted to dispute her argument, he couldn't. He couldn't put himself above her. Their agreement would have to stand._

 _ **Anyone else ready for Jason to wake up? I know I am!**_


	29. Still Alive & Working on This Story

_Hey there, all my wonderful readers! I know I told some of you through email I'd update this week (I swear I'm almost done. One scene left to write) but I don't see that happening by tonight. The next chapter will for sure be up within the next few days though._

 _I want to thank all of you for your continued love and support. Especially the reviews and emails you send! I love hearing your thoughts and answering your theories and questions._

 _Special shout out to General Hospital Talk for sharing my story on Twitter. The nod was much appreciated._

 _I have big plans for this story and I'm not walking away until it's done. I may get slowed down by school or life but I will not abandon you or this story. You have my word._

 _Hope everyone had a great weekend and that our Jasam scenes this week bring joy (:_


	30. Chapter 27

_**A/N: Guys! The most amazing thing happened. I finally finished this chapter! Had I known I was so close to locking it in, I would never have wasted your time with that PSA, but I wanted to be clear that I am still here. I know it's been a wait (blame midterms) but it's here and we are moving forward.**_

 _ **As always, thank you for the love and support. Each view, follow, fave, and review means so much! Love the questions and theories. Please keep them coming.**_

 _ **To the reviewer who said Jake's reactions are disappointing, I'm sorry you feel that way. I can promise you Jake, like the others is on a journey, and while you might not like where it is right now, I have hopes you'll appreciate where he ends up.**_

 _ **Alright, I think I've stalled long enough, don't you? Let's get this train moving again!**_

* * *

 _Elizabeth stared up at the man she had been prepared to spend the rest of her life with less than twenty-four hours earlier. In her deep blue spheres mingled disbelief with a hint of disgust._

" _So not only did you lie to me about everything-"_

" _In my defense, I had no idea what you would mean to me when I did that. You weren't even supposed to be there," he leapt in, desperately. "I staged that event for a specific audience. You were merely Aj's unexpected plus one"_

 _The brunette scoffed._

" _And that makes it okay?"_

 _Franco winced at the contempt in her voice._

" _No, of course not. I'm just trying to help you see this from my side. I didn't come back to hurt anyone. I just needed to be close...You know what that's like."_

 _She nodded with a sneer._

" _Are you really trying to compare my lifelong relationship with Jason to your sick obsession with him?"_

 _Her fiancé blew out a frustrated sigh._

" _I would never suggest-"_

 _What was he going to say? That he didn't see similarities in their behavior when it came to Sonny's enforcer? Telling her the truth would only upset her more. A redirect was in order._

" _I was sick, Elizabeth. When I made the choice to come back and fabricate my innocence, I still had that tumor messing with my head. I wasn't thinking clearly, and once it was removed, everything changed. I wasn't thinking about Jason or fixating on him. I honestly thought it was over."_

 _Something in her gaze shifted as she rose from the bed to stand in front of him._

" _But you are now?"_

 _His eyes darted briefly to the side. Then cautiously met hers once more._

" _Ever since he came back," he confessed. "Since he and Sam started investigating the swap. If they realize I knew about Drew..." he trailed off, unable to speak the inevitable. But he could tell from her expression she understood._

" _That's why you told me." The end of her mouth curled upward in a sardonic smirk._

 _He nodded shamefully._

" _I know you're mad, you've got every right to be after all I've done." He reached for her and she pulled back. "But you have to know what's between us is real, and it has nothing to do with any of this. I asked you to marry me because you and those boys are the best thing that's ever happened to me and I want us to be a family."_

" _What am I supposed to do with that, Franco?" She spat hatefully. "I'm just supposed to ignore my own conscience, and go back to wedding planning."_

 _The nurse snatched her purse from the side of the bed and slung it over her shoulder._

 _Franco stood helpless, watching. If he let her walk out the door, there was a good chance their future would go with her. Maybe he should accept that, but he couldn't. He wanted her. More than that, he needed her. She was the key to his goodness, and the balance he was fighting for._

 _He grabbed her by the arm and spun her around to meet his eyes, and what he saw there filled him with hope. Beneath the fury and betrayal burned sapphire flames of desire. She still wanted him too. Knowing that made it all too easy to crush his lips over hers._

 _She fought at first, because that's what she thought she was supposed to do, but then slowly, she gave in. Her mouth melded to his, hot and desperate, angry even. But she was responding. That was what mattered._

 _Suddenly her eyelids fluttered open and she jerked away._

" _What the hell do you think you're doing," she hissed and wiped at her mouth, while he stood triumphantly grinning._

" _You still love me, Elizabeth."_

 _She opened her mouth to deny his claim. "That's, that's so not the point right now."_

" _That's not a no," he crowed confidently._

 _She glared at him defiantly, determined to show no sign of weakness this time. There was nothing she could say, so without another word, she turned back and opened the door._

 _Everything between the minute she stepped into that hallway and the drive home was a blur. The air was cranked on high. The radio blasted at top volume until she reached the turn for her house. At which point she dimmed the lights, put the car in neutral and crept into the driveway. Once parked, she examined her reflection in the rear view mirror. Her lipstick was clearly smudged. She reached into the glove compartment and pulled out a napkin, probably from Kelly's or the Metrocourt takeout, and wiped the last of the color from her lips. They burned with the guilty pleasure of Franco's taste._

' _What the hell is wrong with me?'_

 _She snapped the lid of the compartment closed._

 _The purpose of their conversation was supposed to be closure. His confessions were supposed to assuage her guilt and vilify any remaining affection she felt for the man. Instead she had proven to herself that she could not only love a monster, but still crave him, despite what he was. She'd gone to him with every intention of returning a free woman, and come home more conflicted than before._

 _Franco had laid his soul bare for her and offered up his fate for her to wield. No man had ever loved her enough, trusted her enough to do that before. At least not like this. With one sentence she could send him to jail, even end his life. Jason already wanted him dead. If he knew the truth about Sam and Michael...well let's just say Mr. Baldwin would never be seen or heard from again, and her boys would be out yet another father figure._

 _Mentally, she rewound and replayed that last thought. Father figure. How could she possibly still think of him that way after all she'd heard that night?_

" _Elizabeth Webber, there is something seriously wrong with you," she muttered as she opened the car door and removed her shoes._

' _Maybe not,' she rationalized, tiptoeing her way to the house. 'I'm...was...in love with him,' she corrected. 'It's understandable for me to have concern for his wellbeing. After all, he was my fiancé two days ago.'_

 _Okay, so she would keep his secrets, but what about the rest of it? Would she really help him cover it up? Would she give him another chance?_

 _She paused at the entrance. There were no lights in the windows. Jake and Aidan were probably in bed._

 _Carefully, she turned the lock over and cracked the door open. Cam wasn't there. She blew out in relief, and stepped inside. It was late- too late for her to just now be getting home, she chastised._

 _The words from their argument earlier that afternoon echoed back at her. Though she insisted she was the adult in their relationship, there were times she felt more like the child. The morning before being a perfect example. He had cleaned up the kitchen and taken care of her when he should have been sleeping. She felt that way now- like a rebellious teenager trying to sneak in past curfew without reproach._

' _I'll make it up to him tomorrow,' she thought. "After I take Jakey to see Jason.'_

 _Cameron listened as she snuck past his door and down the hall to her own room with the stealth of an injured animal. He could have confronted her, probably should have. Only at present, he had no idea how he'd ever look at her again._

 _Memory was a trickster, slippery and languid, and never quite accurate. As a little boy he remembered his mother as an angel; a perfect, smiling, angel, who never failed him. He remembered his dad as a hero, always swooping in to save the day and being the reason for "Mommy's" smile. Those were the early days. The ones he liked to cling to, and stretch further than they truly were. He didn't like to think about the awkward silences that followed or "Daddy's" empty chair at the table. But he knew their time apart happened. He knew when. He just never knew why before._

 _Jason Morgan was Jake's biological father. His brother Jake, who was born during those awkward, lonely days of their marriage. There was only one explanation for that. Or for why, when he saw Jason's picture, he recognized the face. He'd seen it before. When he was younger. When his parents were divorced and his dad was spending time with Sam...who was Danny's mom and Jason's wife._

 _And that was only the tip of the iceberg._

 _There was also Franco. Franco the artist, rapist, murderer, and terrorizer of Port Charles. Franco, who had kidnapped his other brother and given him away like an unwanted Christmas gift he'd stolen from under someone else's tree. The same Franco his mother had just spent the night with, probably..._

' _Not sleeping.' His stomach lurched at the thought of his mother bedding a serial killer. Although, a hitman wasn't much better. He knew she wasn't the angel from his memories, but this? This was too much. Too twisted._

 _What did it say about her, that she could "be with" those kind of men? What did it say about him and his brothers? Jake was obviously the product of an affair. What was Aidan? What was he? Were they ever as happy as he remembered?_

 _He lay in bed, his thoughts in a whirl until he saw his phone light up on the bedside table._

 _He smiled and reached for the cell to accept the call._

" _Hey stranger," her voice seeped through the speaker and washed over him like summer rain. "I didn't wake you did I?"_

 _He leaned back against his headboard with a grunt._

" _Nope, can't sleep." In fact, he might never be able to again after all he'd read and seen online._

" _What's wrong?"_

 _He smirked. It was just like her to know he was holding back. She was smart like that. Perceptive._

" _Nothing," he fibbed. "Just missing my best friend."_

 _That part was true. And it made her smile. Even through the phone he could tell._

" _I know, I miss you too."_

 _His smirk melted into a smile. That was exactly what he needed to hear after the night he'd had._

" _So fix it. Tell me about school. Tell me about California. Your friends. Anything."_

' _Just please don't mention another guy,' he added mentally._

 _He listened as she told him about her classes, her homework, her teachers and grades. She was very attentive to those details. More so than any personal life she might have. She named some kids she'd formed a study group with, and an upcoming dance that she wasn't sure she wanted to attend. He wanted to soak in every word, he tried. But his head was already too full._

" _Hey Em," he interrupted with a sigh. "Have you ever learned something you really didn't want to know?"_

 _The line grew quiet and he could tell she was pondering the question, searching for the exact right response._

" _Like a secret," she asked._

 _Could it be called a secret of it was on the World Wide Web for anyone to look up?_

" _Like stuff about your parents...about things they did. Choices they made."_

 _The line was silent again, but he could still hear her thinking._

" _I found out my dad was kind of a dog when he was younger, and," she hesitated for just a second, "that he cheated on my mom once."_

 _Cameron's full brain went blank._

" _Wha-how-who?" He sputtered in shock._

 _The teenage boy thought back to when the lab had exploded and Dr. Scorpio had been believed to have died inside. He'd never seen a man so sad. He honestly thought the guy might die from it. How could a man who loved his wife that much betray her?_

" _Remember that crazy nurse who took hostages at the hospital?"_

 _He thought back to what he could remember of that time._

" _The blonde?"_

 _That was honestly all he could recollect; the picture on the news after the event._

" _Yeah, turns out my dad slept with her and then told her it was a mistake. And that drove her crazy," she deflected the pain with humor._

 _He knew what she was doing and let her._

" _How'd you find out?"_

 _She paused again._

" _My dad told me...after I asked him why boys cheat on girls they say they care about."_

 _So there was a guy..._

" _I'm sorry Em...man that sucks."_

 _She made a gentle hmm noise that wasn't quite a word, just a breath and a sound._

" _It did, but in a weird way it helped too. It was hard to hear and hard to process, but it made me realize my parents aren't perfect. They make mistakes and they learn from them. And I can too."_

 _He huffed in frustration._

" _What if they didn't learn? What if they just kept making the same mistakes over and over again?"_

 _He felt like throwing something, but the only thing in reach was the lifeline in his hand._

" _Your mom, huh?" She said, knowingly._

 _This wasn't the first time he'd come to her for advice or a shoulder to lean on. Emma has been there for every high and low. It was part of why he loved her. She was the real angel in his life; the one that never let him down._

 _When he didn't answer she continued._

" _I don't know what to tell you Cam. You can't make her figure it out. But at least we know you'll learn from them. You won't ever make her mistakes."_

" _You're right, I won't." He insisted with conviction._

 _They both sat silently, listening to the other breathe, and thinking of all the things they wanted to but didn't feel comfortable saying. Finally, she suggested they get some rest. Reluctantly, he agreed._

" _Hey Em." His voice was deeper now, throaty. "That guy who cheated on you...he's an idiot."_

 _He felt her smile again. Then he sensed it fade, and wondered why. Had this stupid, unfaithful boy wounded her that deeply?_

" _Goodnight Cam," she whispered._

" _Night Ems."_

 _He hung up the phone and laid it back down on the nightstand. Then he rolled over and closed his eyes. But sleep wouldn't come. All he could think about was how his mother had likely spent the last several hours and how her childishness would affect the lives of those he loved. With any luck, and some continued hard work, he would graduate with honors next year and be accepted into UCLA. He would be with Emma, and finally free of his obligations in PC. But what about the people he left behind? What would happen to Jake and Aidan once he wasn't there to shield them from their mother and her self-destructive failings?_

 _He didn't have to give that one much thought. He already knew the answer._

* * *

 _Drew wasn't even awake yet and he was already in agony. The sun peeked out from behind the curtain of a nearby window, and the rays were like a hot poker to his brain. He jerked away and buried his face in the cool fabric of the back of his pillow. The darkness returned behind his eyelids and the stabbing stopped. But the seared gray matter between his ears was agitated and tender._

 _He inhaled._

' _And possibly burning?'_

 _He rolled over and reached out, instinctively searching and coming up empty. She wasn't there. Not that he should be surprised. It had been months since he'd had the pleasure of waking up with Sam in his arms, and weeks since they'd shared a bed at all._

 _The corners of his mouth tipped up into a lazy grin as the scent of vanilla tickled his nose. Then his stomach churned with a groan and the smile vanished._

" _Baby, I don't feel so good," he muttered pathetically, earning an airy chuckle from the brunette as she bent down to tug at the pillow on his face._

 _He squeezed his eyes shut to keep the light from doing further damage._

" _I think I'm sick."_

 _She shook her head and checked his forehead just to be sure there was no fever. He grabbed her hand and rubbed his fingers against its silky surface._

" _You're not sick, you're hungover."_

 _Her voice was different, softer than usual. More feminine. Not that he was complaining._

" _That's what happens when you drink yourself senseless," she added disapprovingly._

 _He planted a kiss to her palm while she fought to take her hand back._

" _I'm sorry for drinking too much," he pulled her hand to the other side of him, forcing her closer. His breath was hot and wreaked of alcohol. "and I'm sorry about what I said yesterday. I shouldn't have been so hard on you."_

 _She prickled at the memory. He couldn't remember everything he'd said, but whatever it was, he's obviously struck a nerve and wounded her deeply._

" _You were upset. It's normal to lash out." She said this matter-of-factly, so he knew she wasn't quite over it yet._

 _He rolled over on his back, pulling her down on top of him._

" _How about you let me make it up to you?"_

 _His eyes were still closed, so he missed the every warning sign her body put out, until in one fluid motion he found himself on the floor with a thud. His eyelids jerked open and his lungs screamed for air._

" _What the hell," he grumbled, trying to adjust to the light._

 _When he opened his eyes again, his surroundings finally shifted into focus. Above him was a white, popcorn ceiling with a single light fixture hanging overhead. The walls were blank, and aside from some moving boxes and the couch he'd fallen off of, the room was too. There a was a loud, ancient coffee pot gurgling from the kitchen, and the stench of burnt beans wafted from that direction._

 _He turned his head to the red leather boots standing between him and the couch. His gaze trailed up her legs to the tartan skirt of her dress, just above her knees, then higher to gray lace at her shoulders and finally up to the woman's face._

" _You're not my wife." He peeled his head from the living room floor to study her._

 _She was pretty, he decided, in a strictly aesthetic sense of course. Her russet orbs gleamed with humor. Her brow was arched and her lips curled into an amused smirk. Something about her reminded him of Sam. Or was it Elizabeth? His brain was too muddled to decide. Anyway, there was something familiar about her._

" _But I do know you from somewhere..."_

 _He urged his memory to spark, but his synapses rebelled, still suffering the after effects of his personal pity party._

 _The woman hesitated, then offered him her hand._

" _I'm sorry, i didn't realize you thought- I mean, you pulled me on top of you and instinct just kind of took over."_

 _A light shade of pink tinted her cheeks._

 _With her help, he peeled his back from the floor and managed to sit upright. When he released her hand, she used it to hook her hair behind her ear, careful to avoid his gaze._

" _No need to apologize," he assured her, flashing what he hoped was a reassuring smile. "But I wouldn't mind an explanation. Who are you and how did I end up on your couch?"_

 _The blonde scratched the back of his head._

" _How much do you remember," she hedged in reply._

 _He laughed nervously._

" _Honestly, not much. I uh-" The last twenty four hours flashed through his mind like a jigsaw puzzle. "I was at Jake's, right?"_

 _Her brows knit together curiously._

" _No...it was some rib place."_

' _Okay, so right location, wrong name.'_

" _Right," he nodded, not bothering to explain. His blue eyes suddenly went round and he leapt from the floor._

" _Where's my jacket? I need to call Sam. I need to tell her-" he paused, another fragment of memory coming back to him._

 _The brunette handed him his jacket. The screen was black. His battery was probably dead._

" _You can borrow my charger, or use my cell if you need to call someone." She pointed toward the back hall where those items were likely kept._

" _That's not necessary," he said with a sigh, and shoved the device back in his pocket._

 _Sam wasn't worried or waiting. She probably didn't even realize he'd spent the night with a stranger._

" _At least let me offer you some coffee," she insisted, reaching for what was now a mug of cold, burned liquid. "I don't have anything to eat here, but we can pick up something on the way. If you want."_

 _His head snapped up to meet her gaze. He knew there was something about them. He'd seen them before. Why couldn't he place them?_

" _On the way?"_

 _He accepted the cup and took a polite sip. She giggled, either at his question or the grimace he was trying to hide._

" _To the restaurant, to get your car and your keys. That's why you're here. You were too drunk to drive."_

 _He nodded, embarrassed and slipped his coat over one arm, then the other._

 _She took the mug from his hand and walked over to dump it out in the sink, while he watched from the corner of his eye. Under the circumstances, he should trust her. He wanted to. But there was something about this Good Samaritan. He couldn't read her, and he didn't like that. He also couldn't actually remember those so called random acts of kindness._

" _I appreciate what you did for me," he called out from the living room,"but there's something I don't get."_

 _She glanced over her shoulder and their eyes locked._

" _Why didn't you just take me home?"_

 _He watched and waited, gauging her reaction. Either she had nothing to hide or she was careful not to show one._

" _Well, I would have, if you'd told me where it was."_

 _She turned back toward the counter to dry her hands with a dish towel._

" _When I asked you said you didn't have one. And I couldn't let you sleep outside on some park bench, not with how cold it's been. You'd have froze to death."_

 _Drew contemplated her answer. Everything she said added up so far, but there was this churning in his gut, contradicting her every claim. Sure, he might have wanted a drink or two after Sam rejected him, but to drink so much he couldn't remember the next day? He'd never done that. And to say he had nowhere to go? There was Curtis, Monica, the big empty house he'd just closed the sale on. He had options._

 _When she finished with the coffee mugs, she reached for a black, stylish trench coat on the other side of the counter, and a red purse that matched her shoes._

 _He stopped her in front of the door._

" _I'm sorry, this whole situation is a little overwhelming. I don't even remember your name," he extended his hand for a formal introduction. She reluctantly accepted. His eyes were fixed on her face, waiting for a name. But she didn't offer one._

" _I'm Drew, in case I didn't already tell you that."_

 _She shook his hand and smiled. "Nice to meet you, Drew."_

 _His grip tightened and he pulled her closer. "I didn't catch yours."_

 _Now she was backed into a proverbial corner. She'd have to tell him who she was._

" _Rowan," she conceded, and finally he released her hand so she could lead them out of the apartment. "My name is Rowan."_

 _She fought the urge to glance back and check his expression for any trace of recognition._

" _Like rowin' a boat?" He teased in her ear, causing her to flinch._

 _The blonde mentally noted this._

" _Like a tree that grows white flowers and red berries," she explained. "It's mostly associated with redheads."_

 _He reached out and fingered one of her perfect barrel curls._

" _But your hair's brown."_

 _Her head twisted to the side. The soft, clean spiral slipped through his fingers._

" _Who says this is my natural color," she quipped, playfully._

 _He grinned with a nod._

" _I have a hard time picturing that, Dr. Mitchell."_

 _He savored the brief flicker of shock in her eyes, before she regained control._

" _So let's try this again. How did I end up on your couch last night, and isn't that a conflict of interest or something?"_

 _She kept her gaze even, poised, unwilling to reveal anything she didn't want him knowing._

" _You really don't remember?"_

 _Drew let out an impatient huff._

" _Can you just answer the question please?"_

 _The psychologist's lips twitched with amusement._

" _I already told you what happened. I went out to dinner, you were there and well beyond the legal drinking limit. The only part I left out is where you were hostile and rude, and somehow managed to pin the entire ruination of your life on the one hour you spent in my office."_

 _He waited for his gut to contradict her recollection of events, but this time it didn't._

" _Why not tell me that from the beginning," he countered as they stepped down on the landing next to her office._

 _Her shoulders rose and fell nonchalantly._

" _I realize you believe I'm the devil incarnate, sent to slither into your mind and make you doubt everything you know, but I have no ulterior motives, Mr. Cain. I have no reason to try and ruin your life." She reaches into her purse and pulled out a pair of gloves. "From the little I've seen, I'd say you're doing a marvelous job of that, all on your own."_

 _She kept her eyes down, focused on the task. Once the gloves were secure, she stopped off the platform and into the parking lot, where she was again cut off._

" _There you go again, making up your mind, without getting all the facts. You don't know me. You have no idea what I've been through in the last three years-"_

 _Rowan shook her head, and readjusted her purse on her shoulder._

" _I know you're not the man you pretend to be. Jason Morgan is a career criminal. Andrew Cain was a decorated naval SEAL. Both are men of action, and yet here you sit, twiddling your thumbs, asking me to help you ignore your reality while you cling to the life of a man you neither like or respect.."_

 _Her molten orbs glowed with the satisfaction of knowing she'd struck her mark._

" _You want to know the truth, but you're afraid of what you might find, how it might change things."_

 _His jaw clenched and his chest swelled. "You don't know what you're talking about," he growled between his teeth._

 _She breezed past him, refusing to dignify his denial with a response._

" _You can walk to the restaurant or you can get in the car, what's it going to be?"_

 _Drew reached reached into his pocket for his billfold. "Think I'll go with option c, and call a cab." He opened it up to find the cash pocket empty._

 _The brunette watched his shoulders sink and gestured toward the passenger side. She could have reminded him his phone was dead or that he was flat broke, but neither were necessary. The seed had been planted and would inevitably take root, forcing him back to her for guidance. Whoever he was, whatever he had done to warrant the interest of her superiors, she didn't want to cause any more harm than she had to._

* * *

" _This is Drew Cain," Sam mouthed as the familiar voicemail tripped. She disconnected the line and glanced down at her phone while Danny stood by on pins and needles._

" _Now?" He asked, eagerly._

 _His mother slipped her cell in the back pocket of her jeans and sucked her bottom lip between her teeth._

" _I don't know baby." She ruffled his hair affectionately. He waited til she was done and shook it back into place._

" _Please mommy," he looked up at her with big sparkling eyes and smiled. When she still hesitated, he decided to pull out the big guns. "You promised we'd go today."_

 _Her mouth fell open with the hint of a smile._

" _When did I say that?"_

 _The five year old was prepared for this question and had the perfect response._

" _At grandma's, yesterday. I asked if we could visit Daddy and you said yes."_

' _Actually, what I said was yeah-'_

' _ **Which is yes in kid speak.'**_

' _Maybe.'_

 _She took his hands in hers, the way she often did when she had difficult or disappointing news._

" _I'm just not sure it's a good idea. The hospital is no place for a baby or for a little boy."_

 _He scrunched his face in thought._

" _But we went when we thought Uncle was Daddy?"_

 _Her head tilted with a wry smirk._

' _ **He's got you there,'**_ _the voice gloated and this time her head gave no defense._

" _You're right," she threw her hands up in defeat and smiled. The boy beamed back at her, expectantly; a laugh escaped her lips as she shook her head and ruffled his hair once more. "You're too smart for your own good, you know that?"_

 _Danny didn't seem to care. He was happy with the outcome._

" _Well, go upstairs and get ready," she ordered, clearing the table of their lunch plates. He started to flee before stopping to plant a quick kiss on her cheek. Then up the stairs he went, as instructed._

 _Alone, she sank back into the chair with a sigh._

 _Jason wouldn't like this. He'd always done everything in his power to preserve the children's innocence for as long as possible. Part of that was keeping them separate from adult matters. It was a philosophy he and his brother shared. Drew wouldn't be pleased having their infant daughter camped out in a hospital room, especially considering whose room it was._

 _But she'd already promised Danny he could go. It would be wrong to deny him now. Besides, Scout was her daughter too, and she'd given him ample time to object._

' _ **Why are you fighting this so hard?'**_

 _The question formed before she could stop it, as did the answer._

' _I don't want to mess things up more than they already are.'_

 _The realization was like a damp blanket. It was neither useless nor helpful._

' _ **What would Drew say if he were answering his phone right now?'**_

 _Sam sat and pondered on this._

' _Aside from hell no? He'd say I wouldn't be having doubts if I was sure; that I should wait and think it through until I knew what was right._

 _It sounded like good advice. Maybe she should take it._

' _ **What would Jason say if he were awake and you could ask him?'**_

 _She didn't have to think about his reply. It came out instantly._

' _To trust myself.'_

' _ **So now that we know why you're resisting, why did you agree to take him?'**_

 _Sam noticed the "we" in the inquiry as well as its implication, but didn't dwell on it. Gradually, she was beginning to accept this alternate personality inside her head, even appreciate its candor._

' _It seems important to him, and it wouldn't be fair to take him to Drew and not Jason.'_

 _That was something no amount of time or consideration would change._

 _The ends of her lips curled upward as she placed the dirty dishes in the sink. Suddenly, she felt lighter. She strode to the staircase, arms swinging at her sides, and bounded up with a bounce in her step. There were no more questions or "what if's." Without cause or warning, her doubts had evaporated and she knew exactly the right thing to do._

 _Sadly, her newfound confidence wavered once they reached the hospital parking lot. Danny sat, bouncing impatiently in his seat while his mother came around back to unload his sister. She was had barely freed the child of her restraints when her little boy opened the car door and took off for the building. The brunette swore under her breath as she latched the little girl to her hip and took off after her son. Fortunately, a patch of ice intervened, demanding him to slow his pace._

" _Daniel Edward Morgan," she barked as she rushed to catch him. "What have I told you about running ahead?"_

 _The five year old paused and turned back toward his mother sheepishly._

" _Not to." Though his reply came out as more of a question._

 _She worked toward closing the distance between them._

" _That's right, and do you remember why," she prompted carefully._

 _He let out a frustrated sigh._

" _Because all it takes is a second for someone to grab me and take me away," he deadpanned. "But mom that only happens on tv."_

 _Her stern expression softened as she reached out for his hand and took it. She wished the world were as safe as her son imagined but she also knew better. All it took was seconds for a crazed woman to reach into a bassinet or a mob rival to sneak into the back room of a cabin. Michael and Morgan has been snatched from the street. Krissy had been in Sonny's bed for Christ's sake! But she didn't want to burden her child with that sad reality. Instead she just held up their joined hands, said "humor me," and clung tightly when he wrapped his fingers around hers._

 _This anchoring maneuver did nothing to slow the boy or dampen his spirits. He burst through the door, dragging his mom and sister behind, and walked straight back toward the inpatient wing, while Sam watched him navigate, amazed._

' _How does he know where he's going?'_

' _ **Because he's been here before,'**_ _the voice reminded._

 _Suddenly, it all came flooding back to her; the fear and hopelessness she'd felt as the days passed by Drew's bedside, the pity in the eyes of the nurses and doctors who tended to him. No one believed he would come back to them, but he had. The day his eyes opened was one of the happiest she'd ever known._

 _How had they grown so far apart in such a short time?_

 _She had begged for a miracle and it had been granted. What kind of person would it make her to turn her back on such a blessing?_

 _Jason's return was also a miracle, and one she'd prayed for just as ardently. Both brothers had been returned to her. Both her children had their fathers. And because of that generosity, she now had a choice to make._

" _Come on Mommy," Danny tugged on her arm as she trudged through the hallway._

' _Wait!' Her brain screamed, but her feet kept moving forward._

' _Maybe this wasn't a good idea,' she thought. 'What if Jason takes a turn for the worse and Danny sees? What if he gets his hopes up and nothing happens? Or Scout could pick something up and end up in the hospital herself. And what would Drew think of me bringing her here? He doesn't want her anywhere near "the business" or anyone in it. Not to mention how it looks, me bringing our daughter to see Jason after telling him he couldn't move back in last night.'_

 _She was so lost inside her mental spiral she hadn't realized they'd stopped walking until son yanked her back into reality._

" _Which room," he prodded, but she stood frozen in the center of the hall._

 _Time stilled. The air grew think. She breathed in deep, then deeper, unaware of her accelerated pace. Her gaze turned to Scout, who was beginning to weigh on her. She needed to breathe, to move, to switch the baby to her other side but she couldn't. All she could do was think of everything that might go wrong and how everyone might interpret her actions._

 _The five year old peered up at her with soft eyes, filled with concern._

" _Mommy, are you okay?"_

 _The fear in his voice snapped her out of it._

" _Huh? Yeah, baby. Mommy just needs her hand for a minute." He unclothed his fingers from hers so she could adjust his sister._

' _ **Trust yourself,'**_ _the voice that whispered this time was not her usual guide. It was Jason's._

 _The brunette closed her eyes and took a deep breath to steady her nerves._

" _Before we go in there, I need to explain a few things to you, okay?"_

 _He nodded, still shaken by her behavior seconds before._

" _Daddy's going to be sleeping. He'll be laying down, his eyes will be closed, he won't be able to look at you or talk. But he will be able to listen. He might even squeeze your hand if you give it to him. So if that happens, there's no reason to be scared. That's just Daddy's way if letting you know he hears you and he loves you, okay?"_

 _He nodded again and she guided him toward the door at the end of the hall. They were just about to turn the handle when it shifted sideways._

 _Sam's gut churned, remembering the sight of Franco over her husband's body. Relief flooded her veins as a much younger and more welcome face stood in the cracked doorway._

" _Michael!" Without thinking, Danny released his mother and leapt to greet his cousin._

" _Hey buddy!" He bent down to return the child's embrace. Then glanced up at Sam, who smiled hello._

" _Hey Sam," he nodded. "Scout," he reached for her chubby little hand and shook it, earning a gummy grin._

" _I hope you don't mind me stopping by. I was on my way to a board meeting but I wanted to check in and see how he's doing."_

 _Sam's head tilted and she threw him an "Are you kidding me," expression he'd seen a million times before._

 _He didn't know why he felt the need the tiptoe around her, suddenly. She had been part of his life since childhood and never once begrudged him a place in Jason's life. Somehow it all just felt...different, and had for awhile. Sam had never said or done anything to make him feel unwelcome. It was just a feeling, like he didn't quite belong._

" _You know we're always happy to see you," she assured, beaming with genuine affection._

 _He grinned back at her, hating the distance between them, and wondering when it had started._

" _I should really get going." He pointed down the hall. "I'm already late."_

 _Her shoulders slumped, just slightly- enough for him to notice her disappointment._

" _I feel like we're running you off or something."_

 _It wasn't her or anything she was doing. If anything, it was him, but he couldn't explain that with such a captive and attentive audience lurking._

" _Not at all. It's just bad timing. But you all should go and spend some time with Jason, and we'll catch up another day."_

 _She stared at him, and he could tell she was trying to decide whether or not she believed him._

" _Okay, I'll let you get to your meeting, but don't be a stranger, okay?" She leaned in close and hugged him with her one free arm. "We miss you."_

 _He smiled again and thanked her before excusing himself._

" _Hey mommy," Danny turned to look back at her. "Can I go in alone? I want to talk man to man."_

 _A small chuckle bubbled up to her lips but she swallowed it down when she saw his serious expression._

" _Are you sure?"_

 _The boy didn't hesitate._

" _Uh huh." He held up his hands palms pressed together. "Please?"_

 _Sam sighed._

 _How could she deny him a conversation with his dad? Jason was stable and there was no physical trauma. She'd prepared him for what to expect._

" _Okay, I'll be right out here, if you need me."_

 _Danny grinned, gave her a hug and closed the door behind him._

 _He wasn't afraid of the hospital. Why should he be? It was the place where people got better._

 _The five year old walked over to the bed where his father slept. There were wires strung from his body to the machines, but that didn't frighten him either._

" _Daddy?" His little voice was barely above a whisper. "Do you know what a promise is? It's when you tell someone you'll do something so you have to do it."_

 _He slipped his hand between Jason's large fingers._

" _Mommy promised to bring you home, and she did. But you're not back yet, and you promised you would be."_

 _His little eyes welled with tears._

" _You promised, so you have to."_

 _Outside Jason's room, Sam sat with Scout on her lap, when she heard rapid beeps and high alarms. Danny called out for her._

 _Her heart dropped in her chest._

 _Alerts must have gone off at the nurses desk too because she could hear them fast approaching. She had to get in there to Danny, she had to be by Jason's side. Anxiously, she scooped up her daughter and burst through the door, and then she saw them. The most glorious blue eyes she had ever seen, staring down into her soul, beckoning her without a word._


	31. New Chapters Coming Soon!

p class="p1" style="margin: 0px; font-stretch: normal; font-size: 17px; line-height: normal; font-family: '.SF UI Text'; color: #454545; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"span class="s1" style="font-family: '.SFUIText-Italic'; font-style: italic; font-size: 17pt;"I've received some messages both on here twitter asking if I intend to continue this story and the answer is yes. Absolutely! My real life got a little hectic for awhile but summer is coming, things are settling down I'm excited to get back to writing. I can't give you an exact date for the next update yet but I can tell you I am currently working at it hope to have it up soon! Thank you so much for all your love and support! It truly means the world to me that you guys are invested. /span/p 


	32. I'm back & ready to write!

Okay guys, I know you've been asking about new chapters for awhile now, and to answer your question, heck yes I will be continuing this story! I know I promised an update about a month ago but my mom came into town who I only see once a year and during that time I had somewhat of an epiphany for this story. When I started Face to Face it was a one shot, with no intention of becoming anything else and once I decided to continue I just followed the natural domino effect of each previous scene while I tried to figure out where it could all be going. I was weaving together multiple threads of onscreen nonsense and trying desperately to find a way to make this story make sense without rewriting EVERYTHING and I think I've found a way to do that. So I'm going to be reposting the published chapters (with necessary tweaks) and begin updating again. I apologize for wait. I know it's been long. But I ask that you bear with me just a little longer because I've got some good stuff coming up now. Imagine a story where Sam's OOC behavior is addressed (NOT in hindsight but) as it's happening. Imagine a story where there's a bigger conflict between Jason and Drew than who gets Sam, and new characters serve a purpose. That is my ambitions for this story! Please, if you can just trust me I will work my hardest to make the payoff worth the build!


	33. New EditsChapters THIS WEEK!

Hey guys! I know I've been MIA again and I do apologize. For those of you that don't know, I'm not only a fanfic writer and soap fan. I'm also a single mom, a full time college student working on a double major, and a 9-5 office job. All of which has kept me very busy this year. But I have not and will not abandon this story.

This story began as a one shot. I didn't plan or expect it to become anything more. For awhile, it was written purely on natural evolution. I chose the events based on the consequences of the previous chapter but a good story needs to be more than that. I came up with a few ideas but nothing I liked enough to stick to. So I sat down and did something I absolutely despise. I outlined! It was difficult and painful. It took some research and a lot of tinkering to see if all the pieces would fit but I now have a clear vision of where this story is headed and am so excited to be sharing it with you!

I will leave this version up, but I will also be reposting these chapters in a new "story" for editing purposes. The new chapters will be posted on there as well. The clean edits will begin today and posted throughout this week. I'm hoping to have the first new chapter up this coming weekend.

After all, it was just getting good! 😉


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